Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

I got really upset at dp the weekend after mc because I felt it hadn't made any difference for him.He got up and went to work the next morning and went to an arranged football thing on the Sunday but after having it out with him it was a coping thing for him because he didn't know what I needed or how to deal with how he felt.Je thought that trying to just carry on with everything as normal would make everything normal.

Ps sorry for waffling on today everyone. I know I usually do but it's worse as I'm bored and at home. I'll let someone else have a chance now!

I'm now hearing your posts in a lovely Scottish accent. Is that right?

Knowing how other men feel might help him to share miami.

It's complicated isn't it. The look on DHs face when he left me groaning in bed to go to work earlier was awful. I was trying to tell him it'll pass and there's nothing he needs to do, that it's sad but I'm fine. It's his loss as much as mine and on top of that he worries about me and the physical side of what I'm going through.

I wonder if it makes it difficult for them to talk because they know it's more immediate and encompassing for us as it's our bodies going through it.

The other thing here is that DH already has DC so even if we never get one he's already a dad. Which brings its own complications!

Have you said to him that while it's your physical experience you know he must struggle emotionally too and that it's helpful for you to be able to share your hopes, worries, doubts together?

Hope you get some answers today. I love Edinburgh, didn't know you were up there!

How are you emily? Hope af is here and over soon. The 2ww was a shitter but I made a real effort to make dtd last month as sexy and non conceivy as possible, if that makes sense. We used preseed which may or may not have done anything. And my god it's pricey! But we're not machines and it was nice being close and feeling like normal again after everything.

Hope your neighbours have stopped being inconsiderate knob heads.

I hope your appointment goes ok today Miami.

iecgi, are you more comfy today?

Thinking of you at your appointment today miami x

Make sure you ask all of your questions, discuss all the possible tests, and have plenty of time afterwards or over the weekend with your DH to go over it all. I've found we both tend to remember different things afterwards and it's so useful to be able to go over it a few times.

Let us know how you get on

You guys x

Thank you for being so incredibly kind and supportive. I'm really properly okay, promise. Hurts like a bastard but it'll be over soon. I'm grateful I knew it was going to happen and got my grieving mostly done over the weekend so looking forward and just need to crack on again.

lentil, everyone's experience is different but after my mcs my afs have been the same of lighter and less painful than usual so I hope it's here soon and you're doing okay.

Hope you got some sleep swim and I'm so sorry about things with DH. What are his thoughts? That you'll be fine ttc again naturally, not as worried about timings as you are, worried about the cost of ivf? I can't remember if you've said, but have you tried clomid? I've seen a lot of people mention using it to help conceive.

That blog was wonderful miami, thank you so much for sharing it. We've both had a read and I found a lot of comfort in it.

DH was making shocked faces about lucky number 5. But I did point out to him that those are now the numbers we're playing with ourselves and it's been a bit shit. I've been pregnant 3 times in 6 months. I had an early unplanned mc with my ex. He and his ex had an ectopic then twins by ivf. The numbers are adding up.

How's everyone today?

Just popping in to give some hugs and to anne. I'm now waiting for AF - almost four weeks since miscarriage and I want my life back.

I know Water - bloody Amal Clooney! 2 of my work colleagues announced today they're pregnant. Saw 7 women pregnant on the train platform today - they were only 15 women in total!

It's really getting me down. And aswe managed to get a BFP naturally when we had our MC, DH is refusing to even entertain the idea of IVF (despite agreeing to it before). I can't do TTC naturally for another 3 years, done 6 already (3 for each BFP). We are lucky to have one DC, I totally appreciate that, but when he says even if it doesn't work, we still have DC1, I want to scream at him! I know it is true but i so desperately want another DC and have done for so long and not willing to give up without a fight.

Really need to go to sleep, need to try and turn brain off

Now even Amal Clooney is pg -- with twins.

pg women are everywhere.

So sorry Anne.

BUT on the upside, I've just taken an ovulation test and it's almost positive!!! So yay!!!

emily I honestly never even care about TTC until I had my MC and now it is LITERALLY all I think about. Spend all day on here and on the ovia group on Facebook just reading and rereading in case there's something I'm not doing that I should be! I'm slowly going crazy!!!

Anne I'm so sorry you're going through this again. It sucks arse. Please be kind to yourself.

Crazy welcome. You got me with the penis tarmacking too. Does anyone else ever stop and thing how the eff did my life become this?!

On a side night, for anyone else who likes to take solace in films, I thought I'd share some recommendations. No tear jerkers, don't worry. Sing Street - feel good film with some excellent songs and 80s fashion. The Hunt for the Wilderpeople- slightly avant garde, hilarious film set in New Zealand, good if you're a fan of Flight of the Concords. And for massive, unadulterated cheese there's always Pitch Perfect and Pitch Perfect 2.

This evening I shall be putting on The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, getting under a blanket and trying not to feel too left out about the fact that my bridesmaid who has 10 month old DS has invited over my other bridesmaid who is 10 weeks pregnant and not me which is what triggered my mini-meltdown yesterday. I know I'm being a bit petty, and yes they're allowed to spend time together without me but man it hurts. (Good job DH is away for work as he would be telling me to get a grip.) Oh, and eating chocolate orange. Thank goodness for leftover Christmas chocolate!

Oh anne i know you knew it was coming but from what you've wrote previously you've had it bloody tough. I hope you get your rainbow soon. Just like all you lovely ladies. How cruel is life.

Miami no worry sweets, I could have a 12 month wait due to the hyperthyroidism I was diagnosed a few weeks before my mmc. Doctor has put a ban on TTC until my levels are normal which is completely understandable but still very hard to take. This has been a 3 year journey so far, we've had to put off so many times. It feels cruel. X

Water so sorry you're struggling too. Please don't test again for a week or so. Give yourself time. X

Owl good news about your negative however f'ed up that statement is. X

Anne fx it's quick and doesn't cause you any pain. Sorry you're going through this again. X

iec that's hard. I can understand wanting more when they bring so much joy. Although I'd be happy just to get that first one in the bag.

Crazy those are good signs then. If it changes, get checked. Xxx

I had erpc and epu told me to test in 3 weeks.

iecgi I know what you mean about feeling you were complete.We felt the same,ours was a 'whoops'too.I the idea of this being the the conclusion to my last pregnancy is just to hard.
Feel awful as had a 'would we manage' panic when I found out but was really starting to plan things for this one and by the time I was really excited it was already over.
Now I just want the last of the spotting over so we can move on.Really missing the intamacy with dp.Don't want to dtd until I'm sure it's stopped.
Crazyvaperlady think my dp might be a bit freaked out although like yours he would be reassuring.Not the end to a romantic night I'd invisioned.
Am hoping by valentines I'll be done with a -ve test too.
Otherwise it might be a trip back to the epu to see what's happening as that will be almost 3 weeks.

TMI but I have the same Crazy. Bleeding stopped within 2 days but just left with really dark discharge! Sorry! I have low blood pressure too so maybe the same. I'm desperate to try again! I only had the ERPC on Monday but I feel like I want to get going asap! DS is 5 in November and I never wanted this age gap!

Mouse doctor says it's just very old, thick blood, no retained products thank God! I have very thick blood due to low blood pressure so when I bled after my MC he said he imagined it just sat in one big puddle and congealed so now it's coming away slowly, but as there's no smell to it, I have no temp, no tummy pains and no unwell feelings he said no need for referral back to hospital... hoping he's right

I'm also sat on the sofa with a hot water bottle feeling like crap littlest one demanding every book in the house is read and generally destroying my house while she has the upper hand loving every minute there was once a time id never thought id ever know what it was like to have my house turned over by something so small....genuinely wondering why I'm even bothering to try again when I already have my beautiful little people and feeling very rubbish to feel so sad when I have so many reasons to be happy I've been there before I had my family kept miscarrying in early weeks and then a mmc at 10 weeks never found out why it was absolutely awful listening to people announce their pregnancies around me I feel bad that I feel like that again I almost feel like I have no right to feel like this I know how lucky I am until March 16 I was sure my family was done then we had a woops and that ended in a mmc and the rest is how it is... Hubby said today do you think maybe it's just not meant to be.... I've never wanted to scream so much in my life