Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

Aww, congratulations Amy!

Hi all, hope you're all ok. I've not been on here since my last post.
I've had a lot of test which have all come back clear. Two weeks ago I had a pelvic scan which showed everything in fine working order. It also showed I'd ovulated as there was fluid around one of my ovaries which is good.
My doctor had consulted with me and said there was no known cause for my miscarriages at all. It's left me feeling uncertain about everything now.
So this morning I'm on cd29 due af on Tuesday or Thursday. I've not been great at tracking my cycle, I just couldn't see the point. I've had this horrendous back ache for the last week it's been awful. Anyhow, I decided to use my last ic pregnancy test and for the fun of it, an ovulation test too just because I'm a poas addict. Well... they were both positive!
I'm in total and utter shock right now. It's been exactly a year today since my hcg went to zero with my first miscarriage.
Praying this is our rainbow and it's here to stay.
Not stopped crying 😭

I hope all of you get your bfps, sending you all my thoughts. It's tough explaining to people how you feel, this forum was a god send to me.

All I can say is hang in there, things have a funny way of working. Things happen when you least expect it ❤❤

swim, if you can get one of those thin metallic coat hangers, you could improvise a little hook and fish around a bit.

Oh no swim. Fingers crossed you get it back. Let us know. I know men show feelings different and it's probably his way of dealing with things as i use to ignore problems but it makes me ill so have no choice but to face them and talk about it as i can't go to that dark place again. He knows this but still comes out with selfish comments.

Thanks Miami. It's not my house so didn't even think, our sinks you couldn't do it with. I feel sick. Will check on YouTube in the morning and keep my fingers crossed until then

I just flushed my engagement ring down the sink.....fuuuuuuuuuck! Just got a replacement one (the last loss was not my fault) and put this one on the side of the sink, knocked it and it's disappeared, hoping I can get a plumber out to find it - is there some sort of u bend our something. Oh Good, least thing I need.

In other news, AF still seriously heavy but still no stomach cramps our sore boobs. Weird!

We men, I think you're right Water, men just don't feel the same or if they do, It's not for as long so start to process/fix it faster. fluffy and crazy, sorry your OHs are doing this, I hope they will begin to understand very soon.

noroom, sounds sensible, definitely need to get it checked out. emsler, keeping everything crossed for you.

Now to try and get some sleep whilst not worrying about losing the most expensive item I own! At least it wasn't the original I guess......clutchingatstraws

Popping my head back in here as I'm in the waiting game right now at 5dpo (4th cycle post MMC) and convincing myself my breasts feel fuller / my back hurts / my nipples are sore etc etc which I have no doubt is all nonsense and in my head. Bah. @AnneLovesGilbert, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and will be thinking of you a lot. Have you always conceived quite quickly? I read a very interesting study about women who are particularly fertile and get pregnant very quickly but the pregnancies aren't viable and are eggs that other women's bodies will reject - so they tend to miscarry a lot more often. Might be worth a Google. Thinking of you.

Oh gosh room, I've just googled too (had some worries myself) -- scary stuff!

I'm trying to tell myself that this is all very routine from a medical POV...

Hope you get some reassurance.

Think I am going to have to bite the bullet and head back to the doctors.Have a feeling something's not right.
Hopefully it's nothing more than something small left behind but really shouldn't google infection.That throws up some scary stuff.
Surely even if it is anti-biotics should sort it??
Was really hoping for a romantic Valentines too

I don't think men feel it in the same way that we do. They definitely do feel something (!) but it's just not the same as us -- we feel it with our whole bodies! But sympathy for those whose OH isn't helping.

My DH is being good this time. Last time he was off on a camping trip with our older DC leaving me alone with the 3yo!! (To be fair I told him to go, not wanting to ruin the weekend for everyone, but they came home early bc I reaaally wasn't coping.)

I've got followup appointment on Tuesday which will be 2 weeks after ERPC. Hoping they will be able to reassure me about the weird goings-on in my cervix... It's Valentine's Day but thankfully DH and I don't celebrate it anyway (just not our thing).

Crazy i totally understand how your feeling. My dp is being an arse his way of dealing with it is to tell me to shut up going on about it. I had my mmc less than two weeks ago he was great at first. I got upset yesterday because i saw a newborn it took everything in me not to cry. When i told him i felt sad his comment 'why because you've seen a baby'? Just so heartless. I told him how it made me feel and seemed to understand but won't stop the next comment.

Turquoise I am totally with you on the accidentally finding yourself making unnecessary sarcastic comments. Had a heart to heart with my pregnant best friend yesterday. The comment I made about never making it to a booking appointment had made her think she is constantly causing me huge amounts of distress. Which isn't the case at all. I'm glad we got it all out in the open, it definitely helped.

I've started on the wine . We've got friends coming over tonight who fortunately none of them have children- a gay couple and a friend who is single in her mid 30s.

Turquoise I hope your evening with your friends is ok.

Crazy sorry you're having such a tough day and OH is being less than helpful. I know it isn't any consolation but my DH has often said unhelpful things in his own distress. I have found sometimes if you point out that you didn't find a particular comment helpful they often just haven't thought about it in the same way. Similarly, I have made comments which DH has found negative and unhelpful and he has done the same. I think it is best to try and be open rather than stewing on things if at all possible.

Crazy
Sorry to hear that, it really doesn't help to make you feel better.
It's important to talk about how this all makes us feel- I tend not to discuss too much/often with DH, as I don't want to put the pressure on him.

I already put the pressure on myself by the mere fact thinking about it almost daily and still feeling sad about my MMC last summer. Don't really know how to get it all wiped out of my mind.

Also, I seem to find myself coming out with sarcastic comments related to pregnancy, baby etc. e.g. it's lucky so many of our friends are having more babies so that our LO will not be lonely, seeing as it seems likely we won't be having another. I don't want to say these things, but find myself blurting it out- might be all the frustration building up.

I need to pull myself together- were are due to go out and see friends tonight. One is due to give birth in the next few months and the other is about 7 weeks pregnant (has announced & everyone tonight knows).

Really would prefer to stay home on the sofa and drink wine- also started spotting today (CD28) so will most definitely be having my period either late tonight or tomorrow!

Sorry to all, but I am feeling sorry for myself this evening!

Crazyvape.I have an i internal monologue going on with regards to ttc.
Am in the bizarre place of outwardly saying,'no,no more for us.'x' is more than enough.'
While desperately waiting for the
bleeding to be over so we can get on with it.
This thread is literally my only outlet.So sorry if it's getting repetitive but don't have anyone to confide in irl.

It's horrible that he's said that. Not sure if I'm being over dramatic or its just hormones but that one comment has repulsed me... making me want to not be with him anymore etc. He really doesn't seem to care or think he did anything wrong.

Oh crazy I'm sorry you're having such a bad day and you're upset. It's such a horrible situation but sometimes you do need to talk about it to help you cope with it all. I'm sure everyone understands that you need to talk but OH's response doesn't seem very helpful at the moment. Look after yourself and maybe treat yourself this weekend to something you love doing, you deserve it

Hi all
Another bad day today, feel so low and down and I know I'm annoying people around me with my TTC chat, but it's like verbal vomit, I can't keep it in. Currently sat here sobbing my eyes out cos OH has just told me to stop going on about how much I want a baby, and it'll happen when it happens . I'm literally at rock bottom emotionally and don't know what to.do anymore

Thanks Mouse and *Lentil
*
The bleeding has stopped now it's just this yucky brown stuff so I wonder if I'm still clearing out since the miscarriage. Who knows but I hope next cycle is easier to read!

I've found everyone's reactions are different... People at work aren't sure what to say so have just said 'im sorry to hear your news' and got on with it which I appreciate. My dad was extremely upset he's always wanted grandchildren and everyone else has been supportive. My best friend dropped everything to come and sit with me while I sobbed.

Hope you are all holding up ok. It's such a shit thing to go through and I think anyone who goes through it and comes out the other side with a positive outlook is amazing!

swimchick and claire, my af so far is being rather light and I've had some cramps but no sore boobs. But I also only ovulated about a week ago, which is a bit strange.

mouse, I like sock have got all sorts of different responses. I find some people just don't know what to do so they just pretend it's not happening but it's not out of malice or indifference but awkwardness I think.

@MouseLove I found that people all reacted differently to our sad news. I was the most let down by my sister who had insisted she wanted to come to my scan etc, started buying clothes even though I told her not to, the when I had the mmc she actually told me she couldn't come and see me as she didn't know what time she was getting up as she was having a night out. She is 28 years old!!

But to balance things out I have had a lot of support from other people. One friend drove half way across the country as she wanted to just sit with me and make me cups of tea.

One of the biggest supports was this website. The information the hospital gave me was crap, they just said go home, wait for it to happen and expect it be like a heavy period. If it wasn't for the good folk here I probably would have thought I was dying.

Sending you some positive thoughts.

Claire don't beat yourself up. Give yourself time and your body time to recover. It's a big thing. Sending hugs. X

Can I ask ladies, my in-laws, parents and siblings knew our happy news before our sad. My parents and sister have been wonderful and supportive. I've had flowers off my parents and work sent a huge bunch with a card from my colleagues (feel better soon kinda messages as they don't know) and I've had 1 phone call off the in laws. My MiL said "these things happen, ah well" and nothing more. I've had another friend completely ignore my message and have a go at DH for upsetting them. Granted they did have a very early miscarriage last month but still, we were not asking for support. They were meant to be our best friends. I've told 2 other people, both have been wonderful. Am I expecting too much?

First AF post miscarriage I believe started this morning.

My cycle length has reduced (28 instead of 45ish). But I'm worried as its only been 6 days since I ovulated.

Still can't help feeling a bit disappointed as we did try this cycle.

Oh well at least the doctor won't tell me off for going against their advice not to try until AF comes.

Miami sounds like you had some good news and I'm so glad that they sound thorough and taking you seriously. Fingers crossed for your next pregnancy.

For those of you who've had your AF post MC, is your AF the same as before or different? Pre MC, sore boobs a couple of days before AF arrived (and always prayed it meant BFP), started off with light bleeding, sometimes would even go away for a couple of days then got super excited about BFP then stomach cramps and heavy bleeding maybe 4/5 days after initial light bleed. This AF (my first post MC) had been heavy (not ridiculously) from day one with no stomach cramps or sore boobs. Loving the no pain and clear sign of AF rather than false hope each time, but not sure whether a good sign or not .