Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

Yay! Congratulations claire

Hello ladies. I'm just dropping by to say I got my BFP yesterday, confirmed today with a FRER.

I didn't have a period inbetween my MC and this BFP.

Just praying this one sticks!

Will be floating around here hoping for some BFPs from everyone. you all massively deserve it!

Owl, my GP told me to wait until the first AF after the MC and then go for it, but other sources say they only tell you to wait so that it's easier to track when conception happened, i.e. the dates are easier to figure out. These sources also say you are more fertile immediately after a MC. Whichever way, it didn't work for me so now I'm back on the usual cycle wagon.

So sorry for your loss strawberry and Put, sending hugs and positive thoughts your way ladies. This thread is so lovely and supportive and I hope sharing your stories has helped during this hard time

Still waiting on first AF since ERPC, she's due to show up this weekend whilst we are away on a short break 🙈

I was wondering if people had any thoughts on TTC straight away or wait for a full cycle to pass first? x

Tch I always miss the new threads! Oops!

I think I might have finally ovulated. So our valentines celebration was had this morning CD29 and fertility friend tells me my period is due in 2 days but no sign of ovulation until now this cycle. I think I will have to exclude it from the calculations.

So sorry put and strawberry.

Thank you for your kind replies.

emsler I'm sorry to hear about your mmc, I think that you are right with the crisis mode thing. I think now the shock has worn off I'm just at that acceptance stage. I know time is a healer. It's just that you have to live through it. I just want to speed time up!
I probably should lean on people a bit more, I have had offers for looking after my dd, but I'm silly and turn it down mostly. Why?!!

light so sorry you have been through the same thing. How are you coping now?

Anne we currently don't know the sex of our baby. At the time, the midwife was honest and said she couldnt tell me 100% and didn't want to give me wrong info. I respected that and didn't try and look myself, but at our app, we will find out and will name baby. I know I will be devestated all over again when I find out this information. Hope the new underwear goes down well

lentil thank you! I too am on last day of first AF. I was happy to see her, but sad about having to have a period. But at least I'm getttong back to 'normal' I guess.

put sorry for your loss. We have started ttc again too. I'm also petrified, but I know I want a second, so I am just really hoping it doesn't happen again.

emsler that's why I was obsessively testing with opks but all was normal, ovulated CD10 as usual

Sorry for your loss putputput

It's terrifying trying again. It's terrifying getting another bfp. Until that happens you can't have another loss, so when it's there you remember what can go wrong. But the odds are hugely in favour of a positive outcome and a healthy gorgeous baby at the end of it. So you focus on that x

It is sad Lentil. Sad and unfair and shit. And also early days. You probably have been bleeding for ages too, so you're understandably a bit naffing tired.

If you'll be happy having quiet time while he's away then it's the right thing to do. I'm sure he understands you're low on energy and need to hunker down.

Hello, I hope you don't mind if I join.
I had a miscarriage at the end of December when I was 6+2. I've waited for my first cycle which has now come and we've decided to start trying again.
I am so scared of it happening again but every part of me wants to become a mother.
I can't imagine what it's been like for some of you ladies, especially those of you who have had very late or repeated miscarriages. Wishing hope and joy in abundance.

Strawberry, here is a virtual hug. One of my best friends miscarried at 16 weeks and it was devastating.

Crazy, I'm crossing my fingers for you!

I'm hopefully on the last day of my first AF since the miscarried. I feel like I've been bleeding non stop for four weeks now. I thought I was coping relatively well but I'm sad. So sad that I've turned down an opportunity to travel with DH (for his work) and now he's worried.

velocity

I've completely stopped bleeding today and tonight I'm getting back on it. I bought some new underwear and it's not going to waste!

Crazy I didn't realise your MC was so recent (I'm so sorry for your loss). Just be aware that this can mess up your cycle first time around - it did mine - so timings could be less accurate than usual. Still crossing my fingers!

Strawberry I'm so so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking and you're doing well to be upright, out of bed, dressed, getting on with stuff, looking after your DD and not in pieces. A loss that late is just shocking. Did your baby have a name?

You're in limbo now waiting on the ashes and waiting to find out more from the tests. Hopefully finding out all the information you can will help you. You're not a rubbish mum, you're dealing with a massive shock and a lot of trauma, you're keeping going and doing your best and that's all you can be expected to do right now. Call in favours when you can so you get a break and make sure DH is doing what he can to support you. Find what time you can to just be together, you're both grieving and need to be gentle with each other.

We never want new people in this club! Wouldn't wish it on anybody. But having people who really truly understand is incredibly helpful and you're welcome here, vent away x

Hello Strawberry. I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. I had a mc at 16 weeks in October so have some idea of what you're going through.

You're not a rubbish mum but human with emotions and I'm sure she thinks you're the bees knees. We are all allowed off days.

AnneLovesGilbert It's all a guessing game I suspect but I read that it's better to go for every other day (other than in your most fertile days - goodness knows how we're supposed to accurately predict those though!) because it improves sperm quality and velocity (lol). Not sure how true it is mind you. But I think that's where the "when NOT to dtd" rationale comes from.

Ty anne me too... only miscarried 2 and a half weeks ago but feels like a lifetime and would make me feel so much better if I was pregnant again

Oh Strawberry, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. How awful, especially to have a healthy 12-week scan and feel reassured.

I lost my baby at 11.5 weeks (a MMC) and felt relatively okay after finding out and after the surgery. It actually hit me two months later and I suddenly was overwhelmed by the grief. So I can completely understand you saying it gets worse as time goes on. I think often after a traumatic event, your body goes into a kind of "crisis mode", allowing you to deal with the immediate aftermath, and the grief comes later. Try to be kind to yourself and feel what you need to feel, know that it's okay to feel that way. Let other people pick up the slack a little bit for a while - can your dd spend some extra time with family or friends?

That's helpful and makes sense on the OPK issue, thank you. I read the sperm meets egg plan which we were considering trying, but I have the same doubts about that, and it relies on OPK's, because she tells you when NOT to dtd. I think it was 3 days on, after a positive OPK, then one off and then another on.

Surely if you're just trying to make sure there's sperm hanging around whenever the egg lands, doing it every day throughout the month is as good?

Mine was much lighter crazy but it certainly looks promising! So so hope this is it for you

Before mc I could tell you when I had ovulated but now it seems I have cramps all through my fertile week so I haven't a scooby. I googled about cb OPKs and from the sounds of it when you use it for the first time you get loads of high fertility days.

Waterfeature I had the pongy smell too, didn't pick it up for 2 months - suspected it was BV and stopping me from conceiving as previous 3 pregnancies have taken on the first month. Took ABs and hopeful that now there's nothing obstructing conception. Irritating for sure though.

Hi all. Can I join? Firstly I'm really sorry to hear that you are all in this position, I'm struggling to accept that I'm am in this position too.

I found out I had lost my baby after my 16 week midwife app and subsequent scan on the 5th Jan and had medical management to deliver my baby on the 7th. I never in a million years thought this would happen at this stage, especially after a healthy 12 week scan, even after the midwife couldn't find the heartbeat at my app I still tried to remain positive, I just feel so stupid for that.

I was obviously upset at the time but now I'm Feeling worse as time goes on. Yesterday would have been my 21 week scan and today my baby is being cremated. I should find out Friday if there are ashes to collect, I really hope there are.

I'm hoping that I just feel so terrible as nothing is finished with it. Just waiting on a consultant appointment for results. The bereavement midwife said that they have test results back now, just waiting on a post-mortem report. I really hope I feel a bit better when I have all the information.

Sorry to go on, I just need an outlet today. Nobody I know has been through this, although eveyone has been supportive, nobody knows how I feel. Dh has been great. I have one dd, I'm struggling with the guilt that I feel like a rubbish mum if I'm sad and not giving her the attention she deserves.

Thank you for listening, hope everyone is doing ok and you have your rainbow babies soon. I really hope I do too

I've never got on board with OPKs. Miami, I'm with you, I think they would make me more crazy and just be yet another thing to obsess about. Just go for the old fashioned DTD every 2-3days after AF has finished until she shows up again.

Crazy I do hope it is implantation bleeding.