Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

Thanks *Anne that was what I needed to hear. It will happen in good time. I have one DS already and he is amazing so I need to look at the positives.
In other news I now have my negative after my ERPC 3 weeks ago so got the all clear to get cracking again. Oh the joys. X

Hi everyone, can't keep up with messages either!

First proper month using Clearblue dual hormone monitor- am on CD16 and finally got a solid smiley this morning to indicate peak fertility!

I would've been excited several months ago, but this is similar to what I got with the cheap OPKs and we usually try to have sex every other day during my fertile window.

So the CB hasn't told me anything new but it's made it clearer that I probably ovulate around CD16/17- I do like that it's much easier to read- negative, high or peak.

I guess I've seen it all before and not fallen pregnant yet after MMC last summer.

Vent away love

That's so difficult. I'm sorry. Of course part of you feels happy for her but another part is sad you don't have the same thing now. We've all been there.

My friend is pregnant with a surprise not very wanted baby that messes up a new exciting job she's got and she's now cancelled her wedding.

All I've been thinking is how if it was me I'd be fucking over the moon!

But we're at different places in our lives and I also understand (sort of) how she's feeling.

What's helped me is that no one is having MY baby. Other people getting pregnant doesn't mean I'm less likely to be in time. There isn't a limited numbers of healthy pregnancies or babies and I don't want anyone else's. I want mine.

Honestly, vent and rant and do whatever makes you feel better. We're here for you. I was bawling yesterday about how shit and unfair it all is. Didnt helping anything. But we all have our moments!

Can't even keep up with all the messages in this group. Hope everyone is OK x

Sorry ladies need to vent. I think I mentioned before my best friend is ttc and was sending me daily updates of her ovulation sticks. Shes just told me she's just had a positive test. Of course I'm happy for her but it's just a kick in the teeth. I should have been going to my 16 week appt today and I'm now sat crying like a moron. Argh x

I never used to check my cervix, have been having a feel this month - currently low and soft and AF is due tomorrow, combined with dull pains I think she's definitely coming.

fluffiny it is my 3rd AF after my MC but probably my first proper one. I had a non-proper one in Jan and then found out I had some retained products just after. Then had one early Feb but it was much lighter and shorter than usual. Hopefully this one everything will be back to normal.

Welcome emily1875. So sorry to hear about your loss.

Buddha I'm glad you managed to get your appointment moved forward. Enjoy your first magnesium bath!

bertie I agree, I'd like 2 close together too now, although wanting and getting what I want seem to be 2 different things. I had no help at all when ds was a baby, being the only 1 in the family I had nothing to relate the stage too apart from on here, now I know everything goes so quickly I think I could just push through it with 2 close together. ds is quite happy being the only one for now, hes only ever asked for a brother once but not even sure he knows what he meant. emily were pretty similar also been trying for around 2.5 years, have you had any advice from your gp at all? sorry if you've already written this above, theres tons of posts to go through.

anne that all sounds so technical, Im not sure id even know which bit I was meant to be feeling, but if your gonna do it I suppose sitting on the toilet is as good a place as any, I have visions of women lying on the floor with a mirror down there trying to turn their neck the right way to see it .

If anyones interested in the magnesium thing I popped into Home & Bargains before and they have huge bags of magnesium flakes to put in the bath for the bargain price of £2.49. Not sure it will do anything but trying everything this month. Also did a happy dance as I got the hospital to change my consultant bringing my appt forward by 5 weeks so sad this made me so happy but it has.

I didn't bother for ages fluff but then I started and it's a nice way to monitor stuff so I've kept at it. Only do it once a day, takes a second.

Sit on the loo, pop a clean finger up there and feel to the back, you should feel a sort of donut shape. Everyone will be different so it's about knowing how you change over the course of your cycle.

It gets higher, softer and the hole a bit more open when I'm ovulating, so the sperm can go in.

Between ov and af it gets firmer (the change is pretty minimal) and a bit lower.

During af it's low, soft and open, so the blood can come out. And when I've been pregnant it smooches right up after ovulation, sometimes I can't really feel it, and soft (if you poke the outside the donut gently, never the hole).

I check cm at the same time.

Hi All,

Joining in this group for some support. have been trying for a second for 2.5 years. Had a miscarriage in November at 10 weeks. Been trying since then, but so far no luck. Feeling increasingly hopeless and distressed and disaapointed and frustrated and alone.
:(
E

I don't do any cervix monitoring, I know about the mucous due to fertility friend mainly.

I know what you mean about the age gap. Because I'm not with DS's biological father there was always going to be a larger gap but we talked about TTC when he was 5 and then when he was 6 and now he is 8... It's definitely a whole different thing to get your head àround and that's why I want at least 2 more. I want to have two close together. DS has always been a dissatisfied only as well, he doesn't love his own space, it's a shame.

Emily is it yojr first af after mc?

Anne the whole lot how do you know what to check for or how it should feel ect? I'd probably best not to try as my cervix is a bit incompetent so would need to ask a doctor first. But really intrigued by it all.

Good luck harriet!

Sorry to hear that emily But as you say, at least the waiting's over.

Do you mean judging where it is etc fluff?

Hi all just dropping in to say hi - will catch up on thread later. I'm in FW now - day 2 of flashing smiley on clearblue (first one after mc few weeks ago) so hoping against hope will miraculously conceive again. I'm taking baby aspirin, folic acid, vit b complex, vit d and omega 3 - should prob just buy a multivitamin!

Sorry emily , but same here mine was early this month too.

Well AF has shown up this morning, 4 days early for some reason. I have to say, I'm relieved for the TWW to be over. All that wondering and hoping sends me crackers.

Blimey all you ladies are doing so much. Think I might be doing something wrong. I'm only taking folic acid and trying to get fruit and veg down me. I take pregnancy vits as soon as i find out I'm preg. That magnesium bath sounds like a good try. Wish they said that with my first pregnancy as went into labour at 33w. How do you all know about the cervix? I wouldn't have a clue where to start?

bertie I didnt know that about magnesium... I was chatting to a friend whose having similar trouble getting pregnant and she'd been advised to take lots of vitamins - 1 of them being magnesium, and after a bit of research she found the quickest way to get it into your body was to have a bath in the magnesium salts. Had no idea that its recommended for stopping contractions.

I also had to google EWCM - I feel like i've failed the whole ttc community not knowing what all these things stand for, but Yeah I do get quite a bit, but still would give the lube stuff a go - Getting desperate. Im putting so much pressure on myself, i'm constantly awake by 4am, googling the slightest symptom - I just keep thinking about the age gap between ds and any other ds I may have... when we started it would have been 3.5 years and now it's going to be at least 5.5 years I dont know why that makes a difference guess its just not the way I had imagined it and it's hard to get my head around it all not going to plan and taking so long.

as its day 2 of af I have to go the hospital for more bloods, also going to ask to change consultants so I dont have to wait another 8 weeks for my results. anne yep throw all your advice this way please...I'm finding af arriving and not being pregnant slightly harder than a Mc at the moment.

Magnesium is a muscle relaxant and can be used to stop contractions. I think it's not really strong enough to stop miscarriage but they gave me some the first time I was bleeding and cramping because they'd seen improvement on the second scan so they were hopeful and I got the sense they wanted to do something! Needless to say it didn't work but it is something I've thought about and I'd probably get some in. I found it comforting to have it to take.

Buddah I've heard preseed is good if you're lacking EWCM. If you've got lots of EWCM then even preseed isn't as good as the real thing, it's just better than the bogstandard Durex type lubes. Yes I was going to say I've read about aspirin but have a read up because I'm not sure how it works. And the ladies on Reddit are always going on about pineapple core?? I think you have to eat it. The really tough bit in the middle you'd usually cut out.

I have booked our trip back to the UK so if next cycle behaves, I've got one shot to get pregnant before then. That would be good because it would be nice to see people when I'm pregnant but of course after two miscarriages I'm thinking hmm, likely to be away from home when I miscarry again, OK, not great. But I think I'd be okay. If it did happen like that it would be very early, I'd know what to expect as would have done it before and I'll definitely be among friends/family, so while not nice, not awful. If nothing happens next cycle and everything stays on track timing wise I'll literally have ONE DAY to jump DH before leaving!

If nothing by then, we'll look into further investigation when I get back. It will have been over a year.

Also, what emily said. I'm intrigued!

Hey buddha, sorry about af, it's shit. But sounds like you're full steam ahead and have a plan. I was sure we were using preseed but turned out I'd bought conceive+ which is very similar and it worked last cycle.

Are you on a general antenatal vit? I'm on a general pregnancy one for the folic is extra vit d now as everyone's on about that. Cheap on Amazon. And how about baby aspirin? I can't do that cos the doctor wants me on clexane at bfp which is also an anticoagulant but if I wasn't I'd defo do the aspirin thing as I've read loads of people try it and it can't hurt.

Stuff to avoid is a long list but sperm meets egg lady says don't use antihistamines as they're bad for cm, which was news to me. I get hives so usually hammer them. No more.

Loads of water, fruit, veggies etc, usual stuff. I'm having a smoothie a day to cover my bases. Frozen fruit, banana, oats, honey, oat milk. Mega natural probiotics, protein and 3 lots of fruit.

I know you didn't ask about food stuff but it's something I'm thinking about so going for minimum effort maximum benefit. Having an apple at work and some sort of veg like frozen spinach later and I'm good.

Fingers and toes crossed for you x

Buddha what the frig is a magnesium bath?!

Hi all, just been playing catch up reading through...Anne hopefully you haven't poisoned anyone Diarrhoea is most definitely a sign of pg, fingers crossed for you.

Turquoise...I remember you from last summers boards...I'm still here 😡😡😡...and will be for a little while longer as af arrived this morning.

I was given a cb monitor by someone on here late last summer, I did actually get pg with it but that too ended in mc, plus the cost of the sticks put me off too so I've gone back to the cheap opks, but this month I'm going all out, pre seed (has anyone used this), folic acid, magnesium baths, bit of pma and sperm meets egg plan anything I've missed out?

Blimey, never heard that fluff but you never know and thankfully all okay again today! Thank you.

I wasn't sure if thrush was a sign last month, another joy, and turned out to be.

Not 100% on when I ovd but 5 or 6 days ago I think and if I wanted to I'd be symptom spotting. Awful back skin, had that before, cervix soft and high, loads of creamy cm, all like last time. But still got this awful super smell thing from last time so could be post mc hormones up the creek and I'm not going to really think about it for another week.

Anyone watching Taboo? It's incredibly absorbing and violent, a good distraction

Isn't diarrhoea a sign of early pregnancy? I'm sure i read that somewhere? Or maybe I'm just making it up. you can go either way glad your tummy is better. Anne