Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

Oh fluff that sounds so tough.

crazy I'm so sorry AF showed up. I agree that staying away from the FRERs next month might be a good idea.

Anne it really is true about loving them thw moment you see that line how is that even possible. I look ar my dd and her caring nature amd makes me feel guilty as she would love to be a big sister. Everything she touches she kisses and cuddles including photos of loved ones she loves kids full stop even my scan pic on my phone she says baby and kisses it. But like i said the other day i know i am lucky to have her. Just my dream has been taken away and not by nature but by someone that's supposed to love me. And when I said o don't think i could stay his reply well if that's what you want to do. Says it all doesn't it.

Thanks anne that bought tears to my eyes. Teamlentil you haven't at all. He's just a very selfish person at times. I'm not even allowed to talk about my peanut anymore he doesn't want me going on. To put his selfishness into perspective he's not always like this just half the time i asked him the other day to sort out the tv in the bedroom i couldn't get it to work. He ignored me I got in a strop because he'd already peed me off and i was having a bad day so threw my remote he told me i was controlling and thought of him as a slave for wanting help with the tv. Once i calmed down i threw at him that i was cook clean up after him sort his meals out for work ao who was the slave the next day he came creeping he can just be such a kid. and o know i was acting like a kid throwing the remote i just had a lot of anger that day made worse by him i will lol if i got my ov wrong and i ov on my 4th day of ewcm. Oh and this whole discussion started because i asked him to change the litter tray.

Oh fluff I'm so sorry, feel like I've put my foot right in

fluff I'm so so sorry love. Sending you the biggest squeeze of a hug. Don't know what to say or how anyone can make this better. Give your DD a big cuddle and give yourself some time to process this horrible shock.

Hating him right now is just the way you feel.

You loved your baby and he/she was real and special and important.

Someone said a while ago that you love the baby from the minute you see the second line on the stick and it's so true. The hope and promise begins right then and it hurts like a bastard when it's gone.

As you say, if you weren't going to have another baby you wouldn't have been through all of this.

Please stick around. You're so kind and lovely and you know that we get it and that we're all here for you.

crazy I can't believe this has happened You must be feeling like crap and it's shit and so disappointing.

Conserve your strength and try and keep your chin up. Next cycle could be the one x

He isn't grieving. He's no longer bothered about my baby because he never got to physically see it alive it doesn't matter. He was the same with my dd he didn't really care until she was born. I don't think he sees it as an actual baby until it's born. I'll be surprised if he changes his mind. It's his way or no way. I actually hate him right now if he said no to another on the first place then fine. I feel like I've lost my baby all for nothing. I'm even more sad than I was. Up until today we were going to try again. I'm really sorry crazy

fluff, I agree with emsler and Bertie, because I actually said that after my MC - no more trying! It truly was my grief speaking.

I had positives on a couple of early response brands :/ not testing a minute before AF is due this time

fluff it may just be a reaction to the miscarriage, I said the same thing myself in fact. Give him time to calm down and talk to him again. Please don't give up hope. We're all here for you to talk to.

Sorry fluff :( Give it a couple of days to calm down and talk to him properly. It can be such a rollercoaster and people can lash out and say things they haven't really thought through. He might just be thinking he can't deal with it right now or he's worried about it being too much for you. Give it some time and don't take anything as gospel yet.

Sorry to hear that Crazy :( Maybe keep away from the FRERs... I have read they are a bugger for false positives, apparently the only test which can give them.

Well my partner has told me today he no longer wants another baby after telling me we can try again. I don't know what this means for us as i can't imagine life without another one. Help i feel I'm losing the will to live.

Yeah it's not good I'm afraid... in full swing AF so I'm thinking I had a chemical as all tests are negative now :( oh well, can try again this month

Thank you keepon. I'm swinging wildly from "stop overthinking everything and just see what happens", to double checking Ovia for the symptoms I had last month before bfp (all really similar bar the gastric stuff, not helping!), being 99% convinced I'm pregnant and being 75% sure it's impossible.

Yours sounds very confusing. Light as in really not properly on at all? If so, or if it felt different to normal, I'd be poas tomorrow morning. Just do it, it'll make you feel better even if only briefly!

Have you had the boob thing when you've been pregnant before?

Fingers crossed all your symptoms mean something Anne.

I'm feeling perplexed. So AF showed up early on Monday but she was pretty light and seems to have finished already. Normally would tail off with spotting for a few days. Boobs keep feeling a bit burny. Officially AF was due tomorrow. I might just give in and do a test like a mad woman to stop the wondering.

crazy any update?

Thanks emsler. AF due Tuesday. Got some right hand stabbing and low level cramping, massively bloated in the belly and loads of on/off nausea. I've had a funny tummy off and on, which never happens, so could just be getting distracted from a bug!

How are you getting on?

light, congratulations! I'm over the moon for you. And Anne, I'm hoping that heartburn is also the precursor to good news - when can you test?

harriet i think u ov'd as usual but AF was 2 weeks late, cant ever get opks to work tho so not really sure. Period came 6 weeks after mc

fluff and peony thanks that is comforting! Think I'm probably about a week behind too, if ovia is right (questionable!)

Hey emsler, hope you're well rested!

We've had a bfp since you've been gone, which was awesome. It was lights good news.

I've had heartburn! Not quite as exciting.

Hello lovelies, I've been off for a while as I was on holiday. Too much to catch up on but sending you all love. I'm just about to start OPKing for March, should O around March 9th.

Swim, my first cycle after my miscarriage was 25 days and I'm usually 30.

harriet I'm about a week behind my normal cycle too. Think I ov'd beginning of the week and due af in just over a week

Harriert i had my surgery 4 weeks yesterday i ov between sat and tues last week so due my period next week. I'm about a week behind my normal.

Hi everyone. Sorry cashmere sounds like you've really been through it. Good luck with the SMM.

After thinking my cycles were back to normal I've now had 5 days of flashing smiley on clearblue opks, not seeing progression on the cheapies, and ovia has shifted my FW forward by 5 days. Not had any EWCM yet either.

Has anyone else had a longer first cycle after mc/how long after bleeding did you ovulate?

I'm so impatient to get started again, feeling bit run down and demoralised. Why is my body letting me down argh.

swim, I've read the same as Miami and I'd get checked out if I were you love. You must be sodding exhausted from bleeding so much. Are you taking any iron? Floradix is slightly less harsh on the tummy than pills. Just if you're feeling really wiped out.

I was desperate for first af but chilled a bit when I read it should be at least 20 days after mc stops. Is your EPU any good?

Cashmere, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Neither conservative nor medical management did anything for me. My baby had stopped growing 4 weeks before they found out so nothing seemed likely to happen anytime soon. I did two lots of medical management and lost quite a bit of blood and tissue but a chunk ended up getting stuck which was horrifically painful so it ended with an MVA.

Will you be awake for your surgery? Several of us have had it so please ask any questions. Do you know when it'll be? Sending love x

I'm glad I didn't rush to surgery the day we found out. I needed the time to process the shock of what happened. If I'd thought about it before the idea of carrying on as normal knowing what happened would have been too awful for words. But it didn't feel yuck or upsetting at all, I needed time to say goodbye to my baby and all my hopes and dreams of that pregnancy and wanted to keep it safe inside me for a few more days.

I'm not sure anyone can really understand that if they haven't experienced it. Don't get my wrong - a few days later I was off my face on painkillers and wishing the whole thing would come to an end, so the surgery was a blessed relief and once it was over I could focus on trying to feel better a day at a time.

Take care of yourself