How awful to read about all the issues you ladies are having with you DH's at the moment.
Jam - I don't think this will make you feel any better but my OH is very similar when its comes to house issues. For example, our bathroom has been an absolute liability since we moved in 3 years ago. When it rained, the outside facing wall would have drip marks all down it where the rain was absorbing into the brick. Plus, our shower screen was leaking and the excess water was literally gouging a hole in the wall.
Here is a list of all the things I did to try and rectify the issues over the 3 years:
- stripped the paint from the walls
- applied a water sealant base coat
- repainted the walls x3 (because it flaked off multiple times)
- removed all the sealant from the bath and shower curtain
- reapplied new sealant
- took the shower screen apart and reassembled
- took the shower screen apart and used new hinges
- admitted defeat and got a quote from 5 builders (had to leave work early or take half days leave for this)
- took a half day off to walk the builder through the job
- managed all correspondence and payment with the builders whilst on the job
When the builder had finished, I knew the screen was still leaking because the fresh paint they'd applied had a large water stain on it. I obviously wanted the builder to come round and deal with the issue right away but I couldn't get the time off work. Luckily, OH was off sick so I told the builder to go round there right away to look at it. When I got home, the screen was still leaking and OH said that the builder couldn't find an issue with it so he'd told him I was probably being paranoid. I was absolutely furious, I got straight into the shower turned it on and lo and behold, water started running down the wall (even worse than it had done before!). Then OH had the audacity to go bat shit crazy (at me!) because I'd put him in control of a situation he hadn't been involved with from the start even though he really didn't care about any of it anyway. We both own 50% of the property so I really don't understand that attitude at all. This is just one of many issues over the 9 years we've been together, I've just accepted now that repairs, bills, changing suppliers, setting up bank accounts etc. is my burden alone.
Pyjamas - on the flip side to what I've said to Jam above, my OH does remarkably well on the TTC front. He will accept any new "fad" I throw at him without too much grumbling, but if I go out and contradict myself he doesn't really mind. I'm not too sure why you DH is reading into all this stuff so seriously though. I'm glad Penguin has given you some stuff to throw back in his face because if there is one thing that I've learnt in my 16 months TTC, its that you can't trust anything you read, online or offline. Online blogs and articles are only there to drive traffic to the domain, so they will simplify facts and information to make sure they are hitting major keywords and phrases on they can rank on google. And books are there to make money, so the authors will always put their two cents in there to make sure that their material offers something no other books have. This means, that we get a huge amount of conflicting information that really is of no help to us.
I think I stopped caring last year when (after self-diagnosing myself with Endometriosis) I decided to go on a strict Endo diet. I bought books, printed off articles and blogs and compiled a whole list things I could and couldn't eat. With all the information I had, I realised that I couldn't drink sugary drinks (fruit juice, fizzy or from concentrate), caffeine, alcohol...ok so far...milk (unless its unhomogenized, good luck finding it), water from the tap...cue disbelief...and water from plastic bottles. I put all my books down and thought to myself, what the fuck can I drink?!
And since then, I haven't given one absolute fuck. Don't get me wrong, I still try and be healthy and moderate things but life really is too short for all that. And you'll have 9 months of strict eating and drinking when you get your BFP so enjoy it while it lasts.
This is a mammoth post, sorry about that - I was just too ill earlier to reply. Now I'm going to go nurse my bleeding uterus. Also, congrats Poppet!