Thread 25. TTC #1 - February Fertility Fighters on the FRONTLINE

Thank you so much TTC coven

kathrino I will be the one freaking out and madly writing to you lot on my phone... I am also the one that most of the staff know by name as I have been going there so fricking long!
What time is your appointment?

Sorry hopeful

pug I am a believer that the post MC increased fertility lasts a few months - I think that alongside a hycosy is what did it for me.

skipper I don't even know where my cervix is let alone texture and position!
Hope AF stays away!

Sorry to those afflicted by the goddam witch.

Pyjamas - I hope you're not out yet, I really do.

I'm convinced I'm not pregnant this morning because my cervix is noticeabley low and hard. I know it's not the be all and end all but don't think it's worth pissing on a stick at all now. God I hate this!!

So sorry for AF Kathrino & hopeful

And I really really hope it's not AF for you pyjamas!!

So sorry for AF kathrino and hopeful

Hope it's not AF pyjamas fx for you

Hope the rest of the week goes quickly for you sk1pper. I'm only 4dpo and finding it so hard to not symptom spot!

Hope you're feeling better today jam

Will be thinking of you on Thursday for your scan kwick. All will be fine.

Fx for everyone else in the torturous TWW

kathrino and hopeful so sorry fx for you both this cycle

CD1 of Cycle 15 here. New test date of 9 March.

flash just want to chime in that I've been there as well, and that it sounds like you're doing all the right things. Try to be gentle on yourself, if at all possible. I also found cognitive behavioural therapy a great help, if you're considering options. Yoga sounds very good.

Courage!

Just noticed some extremely light spotting (only when wiping and barely there (amazing how closely I inspect loo roll now). Reckon AF is on her way 😞

Congratulations starfish!

london that sounds like some weird viral thing. Glad to hear you are feeling better today.

katharino impending af sucks. I hope it's not though.

flash sorry to read about your panic attacks. My DH had CBT last year for severe anxiety and he found it very helpful. I hope you can find a way to work through it.

skipper it's human nature to feel hopeful after a procedure which can improve your chances. I would be the same. It's so hard to try and keep yourself balanced at times. We are all here over the next couple of day for support if you need it.

Good luck for your scan on Thursday kwick.

Well even FF has said thathat they cannot establish an accurate ovulation pattern so have taken the cross hairs away. Something tells me it's just not going to happen this cycle. I feel an idiot for thinking that I would be more fertile immediately post mc and be one of the lucky ones who gets a bfp straight away.

Hopeful sorry AF got you. There have been a couple of months when I've really thought I'm pregnant now and this compete rush of joy and happiness. I have also thought hmmm I wonder what will happen with my job? too which is interesting. We are all so desperate for this to happen we can forget how much it will turn our lives upside down too. But I can safely say I am ready for it now universe please!

Skipper you are not a broken record love at all, no one thinks that. It's completely natural the HSG would give you renewed hope and I really really hope it has done the trick for you. It's so so so hard to balance out getting hopes dangerously up with staying positive - almost impossible. Ride out the next few days as best you can and come here for as much support as you need to.

Mrsbluebell I also listen to podcasts at night to help me relax and sleep 🙂 and I'm totally with the others who wake lots and find it hard to get back to sleep! Very frustrating

Bless you kwick I was worried yesterday too but feeling a lot better today - not so faint. Still very achy and no appetite though which is so not like me. I've had two pieces of toast today and literally not thought about food since. Bizarre. Everything crossed for you for Thursday dear 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Thanks starfish don't feel you have to rush off we know those early weeks can be nerve wracking

I spent the whole day feeling hopeful as AF hadn't arrived this morning ( usual always arrives in morning exactly on same day of cycle) but at the same time I started to panic what if I am?! Then this evening AF arrives in full flow!
does anyone else go through the mixed emotions of what If and then the disappointment when your not ! Silly I know'

Oh well CD 1!

How's is everyone else any symptoms?!

Hello lovelies,

Just popping by to say thank you very much for the well wishes.

I'm going to make myself scarce (on this thread) for a little while; I don't want to be annoying to people. It's early days for me (I'm 4+2) so will see how things go.

I'm so sorry to read that people are struggling and that these struggles are manifesting themselves in ways that are difficult to deal with. However, I think that you are all wonderful, and what a brilliant and articulate support group we have. I'm so glad that this was the thread I chose to join, and it feels funny to be (sort of) going having not been with you great women for very long.

I am showering each and every one of you in baby dust and hope to see a flurry of BFPs very soon.

xx

Presuming your scan is at CRGH, we should be at the same place on Thursday morning kwick. Let me know if you need anything at all (I'm sure you won't!)

I'm another sleep worrier/waker. DH is a perfect sleeper and it drives me bonkers. I always wake at least two or three times and it often takes me ages to get back to sleep.

kwick I will take the liberty of speaking for the entire TTC coven and send you are best wishes for Thursday! Its natural to be nervous(understatement?).

hep your memory is fine I do indeed have 9 week scan on Thursday morning. I am shitting myself.

Whilst not suffering from anxiety I have had great trouble with my sleep - for years I would only get about about 4 hours a night. I used to smoke (don't ask!) and drank a lot to try and guarantee a longer sleep, I took loads of herbal things too. Somehow I have managed to find techniques to get me back to sleep when I wake up in the night - which I still do every night at least twice normally. I now am much better able to block night time worrying and remember things always look better in the morning. Only took me 42 years though!

kwick, looks like you need a nice cup of decaf tea too...

Take it easy!

Do you have another scan this week? Or is my memory rubbish?

jam have you seen a Dr? I am really worried about you! I think I am quite near to you - do you need supplies brought round or anything?
Try and stay away from Ibruprofen is fine.

Hope you can skip the meeting kathrino and have the scan! You need to put yourself first!

hep here is some to cheer you up!

flash I have heard amazeball things about cognitive behaviour therapy.

PLEASE CAN WE HAVE NO MORE TALK OF BATHS? I HAVE NOT HAD ONE SINCE 17 DECEMBER!!! 🛁

skipper still LSFX for you my lovely

Feeling out of sorts today... fricking better not be bad news!

Thursday too MrsBlue - in the morning. Fx for you (and me) and everyone else in the terrible and depressing 2ww.

So so bloated and so much cramping if it's AF I wish she'd just show up already.

Hey flash! I'm another one that struggles with anxiety. Mine shows itself at night time, and keeps me awake worrying about things that I KNOW are ridiculous but I can't stop worrying about them. It's awful. I try and listen to audio books to help me sleep, and when I drive so my mind can't wander as much into overdrive. Hope this helps. Keep strong and remember we are all hear for you.

Skip, I'm exactly the same. Symptom spotting more than I ever have before. I've survived the day of my cycle that AF arrived on last month (well, touch wood as we still have a few hours to go yet today). Feel bloated, windy, cramps for a few days but not as strong as period pains, really weird taste in my mouth which is also making me feel sick. Arrrrrrrghhhh it's so hard not to symptom spot. Fingers crossed for you. Thursday is day 28 and last 3 Cycles have been 33,27,24 days so was going to go with Thursday as a test day but I really want to POAS tomorrow!!!! When are you going to test?

sk1pper, I go through exactly the same emotions you describe each cycle. That desire to believe it is so strong isn't it? I can't tell you how much I'm hoping that this is your cycle though.

Agree with running and yoga to deal with anxiety. I was such a laid back person when I was younger but I've definitely struggled a lot more as I've got older (despite the fact that I have a life that I adore). The combo of TTC and some other stuff over the last year or so has really tested me. Like Missy says, sometimes it's just the accumulation of everything and it can be the smallest thing that just tips you over the edge and even if you know logically that it's not a big deal or you shouldn't worry about it, it's so hard to deal with.

Cramps getting worse so AF will probably arrive overnight. In good news though, I may not have to rearrange my appointment on Thurs as my boss is trying to cancel his work trip so he can go to the meeting instead of me.

Not a broken record in sight skipper! If we can't unleash the crazies here, then where can we?! I'm pretty sure this site is preventing me from driving DH and friends around the bend or being being sectioned.

This week is draaaaaaaging. Felt a bit of heaviness in womb area this afternoon - probably that lining prepping for imminent evac.

You ladies are amazing! Reading you talk about anxiety is so refreshing

flash you really hit the nail on the head with feeling like grief/anxiety over TTC feels self indulgent when everything else is good in life. That's exactly how I've felt. i wouldn't allow myself to grieve much about my chemical pregnancy as it felt it wasn't as bad as what other people might be going through. When you take a step back, its such a silly thing to think

I run to cope with my stress and anxiety. Its the only time that my head completely empties. Finding any activity that stops you focusing on whats happening in your head is really important.

hep I hope you find something else to do while your foot heals up. maybe swimming? And get icing and elevating!

Jam - sorry to hear you are still feeling unwell, definitely seems to be some kind of virus. I would stay clear of the ibuprofen if you can, just to be safe. Try some paracetemol and a hot bath - that always gives me a degree of comfort with any illness.

Hep - yeah if you can still hobble on it, probably not broken. Just a very bad sprain - they can be pretty nasty though. Hope you can take it easy this week!

Flash - shit Flash, sounds bad. I get panic attacks when driving normally bought on by stressful situations so can relate. The best thing to do is to warm yourself up to those situations, so sit in the car for 10 minutes one day or go for a walk round the block and then build up slowly from there. Hep has already mentioned this, but caffeine reduction is an absolute must - it will make your panic attacks worse.

Thanks for all your comments girls, I am like a broken record every cycle and I hate it - I'm sorry if you are sick of hearing this every month. I don't believe it but I want to believe it so I get torn between these two scenarios. My brain is over analysing everything and getting me excited but in my heart I know its all complete bull. I will test on Thursday morning as I've got to have a filling at the dentist in the avo, so its as good a excuse as any. Then I can get out of this terrible limbo.

Hey skipper - I really really hope those are good signs, and they could be, but like others have said, try and counteract those thoughts with "it may be nothing." I know it's hard - the last few days are always the most difficult and I know you've been having to deal with the disappointment for far longer than I have. The HSG can't help but raise hopes as well, I know mine are raised. But like you said to me, we've got three cycles of increased fertility, so all is definitely not lost if this isn't the one. Big hugs to you xx