Thread 23. TTC #1 - New Year, New Opportunities. Let's keep those BFPs rolling in!

Thanks alexia for the new thread- great intro and title! Let's hope this thread is as lucky as the last one!

I'm away ATM which is good as is keeping me a little distracted from the fact that AF is going to rear her witchy head at any second, and hopefully will keep me from crying too much when she does appear! Am also gorging on wine, cheese and deli meats as my early "f**k it" reward..But does mean it's hard to keep up with such a busy thread!

Anyway, my details:
Binky 31 (DH 34)
CD 33 cycle 5 (normal cycle 32/33 days but had 2 longer cycles last 2 months weirdly)

Had excruciating cramps for about an hour 5days ago and low level for a couple of days after, but otherwise feel bloated, depressed and rubbish as per PMS usual, and a bit of brown spotting today so not holding out much hope. Won't test until at least the weekend if AF doesn't show (not blooming likely!) Once we get back from our trip I am going to get on the fertility friendly diet for me and DH- have downloaded loads of guidance to read at the airport and on the plane (to add to my kwick pineapple and milk info!)

Happy belated birthday Harriet, pug, ns 🎂

Great news re: travel kwick- hopefully this will allow you to have a bit more rest at this important time, less dashing about 👍Keep up that PMA

Music excellent news on the scan, hopefully that will let you relax a bit more now and you can enjoy thinking of your bean

Pleased for you re: your appointment sk1p. Waiting and seeing re: weight seems like a good plan- fx the flush through is all that's needed

Hope the missing egg turns up soon EJ

Kathrino I did something very similar wrt calculating due dates. I feel your pain

Hope you've got gp appointment sorted soon peaches and that you're doing ok

Sorry AF got you missy. That's a really good attitude I think, keep up that PMA. Flash and London- know exactly what you mean! This cycle I've been very blasé but now I feel awful that I've ruined a month. Need to try your way of thinking winging

Welcome to the newbies👋 and hi to all returners. Hoping a few of us get to join the grads thread soon!

Mine is well aware sk1p after not being able to stop crying all of last week, including a brief time at sis in law whilst cuddling the baby so she now knows too!

His reaction is to be up for any sort of testing, spend the money to go private etc which is lovely really. He's even said he'll phone up Create himself to get his men analysed.

Isn't it funny how men have absolutely no clue just how stressful this process can be for women. I mean they 'know' but it must be nice to not POAS every month, have periods, deal with ectopics, MCs and burst cysts all of which are physically and mentally draining. And I won't even get into the pregnant stuff. My OH is lovely but he does roll his eyes and smile when I start moaning about things like early spotting, or drag him round Holland and Barrett looking for a new vitamin I want to take.

Yes I am a big acupuncture fan. It fixed my hormones (I hope!) which were still out of whack 6 months after my ectopic, even though the GP said all the spotting and weird cycles "wouldn't have anything to do with that".

I'm variously good and not good at doing things like temping etc, but mumsnet is a godsend as TTC is just not something you can be open about very easily in real life!

winging that is a really great way of seeing it. It's GOING to happen, it's just a case of when.

The ectopic must have been really frightening flash and it must be awful having that fear about conceiving again . I hope the odds are way against this. I'm up for a more relaxed approach... just not sure I'm ready to step away from the OPKs! Or mumsnet!

pyjamas I'm with her on that! It's all about the nice odd glass of vino

I think that's excellent advice re drinking Pyjamas (and a much healthier attitude to have towards booze TTC or not!)

Winging, I know what you mean about having a predetermined BFP month. The way I see it is that every month, it's going to be a different egg and different sperm coming together and the baby that they produce is going to be totally unique. When we get that BFP, it'll be because it's the right combo for our baby and once we hopefully have that baby, I think it will be hard to imagine us having a different one.

Flash, I can totally understand that having had an ectopic must make the whole thing seem even more stressful. I know a lot of people talk really highly of acupuncture though so hopefully it will do the trick for you!

Jam, the 'just relax' people are the absolute worst. Plus I think it's a load of crap too. For every one person who says (loudly and repeatedly) that's what happened to them or someone they know, I bet there are a hundred who were totally relaxed/weren't trying and they didn't get a BFP.

sorry to hear about your ectopic Flash. I have acupuncture on a weekly basis too and highly recommend it to all TTC.

Hope the TWW flies by for you Pyjamas - I'm wishing it away for you.... can't wait to get onto the next cycle already.... so pissed off that I've had to kiss my egg good bye this month without dtd.... like January isn't depressing enough!

xxxxx

All of you taking a more relaxed approach I will definitely be aiming at that (and probably failing!)

I was the same with all the stressing, watching what I ate in TWW, trying not to drink etc and it just made me feel more stressed. I've decided to carry on as normal in this TWW, no temping, drinking if I want to, same exercise etc and I already feel a million times better at 5dpo compared to previous months. I asked our consultant about whether I should stop drinking in TWW and she said carry on as normal as it won't make any difference. Her advice was "drink like a European, don't binge like a Brit". Taking her advice!

Its nice (although not nice if you see what I mean) to know that other people feel the same. I'm so afraid I'll have another ectopic, but have to remind myself that if I do, I know that the natural conception road is closed and then I can move on to the other options.

I think I'm more terrified of getting a bfp then not at the moment, as I think I'm going to be so terrified until I find out its in the right place. But I know I just have to relax. I'm doing acupuncture though, which reassures me that I'm keeping things 'balanced'. God it's bloody hard isn't it!

I love you ladies .... just reading through the threads makes me feel less lonely and normal, as I feel exactly the same as you guys - the stressing, the only thing on my mind, the too much exercise during the 2ww.... and then on top of that, I've got my biggest stress - don't get enough sex! Oh doesn't want to try properly until May so in the meantime, I'm having to try hard to time the tackle, knowing i only get one shot.... and its a facking long shot this month.... dtd cd9, ovulated cd14.... haven't dtd since cd9 as we've both had flu, so I'm fairly confident you can take me out of the 2ww and pop me on the february bus.... least i'll get to sit at the front with you Missy xxxxxxxxxxxx

I think so many of us are in the same boat and its so hard to be told 'relax and it will happen'. I found the first few months hard, then got into an acceptance phase around cycles 6-9. Then had a melt down around 10/11 due to it being Christmas/birthday/lots of baby bombs.

Now I'm into the new year I'm trying to have a new attitude. At some point this year i WILL get pregnant and I'm a great believer in fate and feel that 'my bfp month' is already predetermined, I just don't know when it is. Therefore each month AF arrives I will just shrug it off on the basis that we just haven't got to the right month yet.

That's not to say I won't be doing what I can to pressure gp/ investigate fertility diets etc but just trying to accept that it's not the end of the world if it's not 'this month'.

peaches sorry its been getting to you so much. I'm the same in that TTC dominates my mind, from the last thing at night to the first thing I think when I wake up. I'm not sure how you can lessen that, when its something you want so much. Definitely get onto your GP - it at least gives you some sense of control back.

flash I know exactly what you mean! I feel guilty about not exercising enough. But then I worry that exercise during the TWW might be too vigorous, so I don't do any. I feel guilty about drinking, but then I think I don't want to put my life on hold. The one that winds me up the most are the people who say "Just relax and it will happen". That makes me feel about ten times more stressed! And guilty that its actually been my fault all along! And it might very well have no impact at all.

Argh needed that rant, sorry!

For everyone who is massively stressing I've been there. I actually think the first 9 months Ttc were the worst. In the almost 2 years I've been trying I've been trying I've developed a zen attitude. I just remind myself that worrying about it won't change the outcome. Each month the outcome will be the same whether I'm relaxed or a basket case so why live like that? Once I was able to accept this then it got much easier to just live my life as I did before Ttc. I have my moments but not so often. And remember...most of you will be pregnant with 6 months to a year. All easier said than done...I know.

*cant not can

Flash, I definitely felt a bit like that at the start but I've had months where I've done everything perfectly and it hasn't worked so I'm taking a much more relaxed attitude now. In my view, the things that will maximise my chances are the stuff that I should be doing anyway (getting enough sleep, moderate exercise, eating well, not drinking too much) so I do them for me. This is hard enough without all that additional pressure and I think that any benefits gained will be so marginal that the stress of that pressure will probably counteract them. I agree with you Peaches though that it's really hard not to want to try and control it especially if you're the kind of person who is used to be able to solve problems.

Sorry too that you had a bad experience with your GP last time Peaches, hopefully they'll be more sympathetic this time. My SIL is a GP and she has the worst bedside manner in the world so nothing surprises me anymore...have you made an appointment yet? (I haven't!)

So sorry about AF Missy

All

I'm a total stress head, hate not being able to control my body and my health so much so it has led me to really bad anxiety...my resolution this year is to take a step back, live in a the moment and to stop with the 'what ifs' and 'I need to do this to make this happens' ...it's not easy but stress and anxiety about stuff can at the end of the day make you physically ill in itself and can impact on TTC and many other things to do with your health and body.

Now I've only been TTC for 4 months so who knows this time next year if it's still not happened I might be totally freaking out but for now I'm going to relax about it all, if by summer nothing has happened I'll visit my GP and I might do a few OPKs just to figure out when exactly I do ovulate!

No harm in keeping fit and healthy but definitely not going to start obsessing over this I think it will personally do me more harm than good.

Might be easier said than done but that's how I'm starting my year!!!

Good luck to everyone else can wait to see your BFPs xx

Missy -

Flash - definitely, but my GP said it was that kind of thinking that can stop it happening. He told me to stop doing all the crazy shit I was doing (my words not his) and live my life normally over Christmas. As it turned out I still got my period but who knows, maybe next cycle.

missy sorry AF got you

Is anyone taking bromelain supplement? I'm not sure if I should be taking it all the time or just after ovulation?

missy

Thanks mouse that makes me feel better

I don't feel pregnant or sign of period.
No sore bbs or usual acne. Extremely bloated, few cramps and constipated. Apart from that feel fine!
Trying to forget it until the weekend and just get back to work.

flash yes! I was totally fixated on the do's and don'ts in the run up till Christmas. It was my tww and my birthday and I felt I just couldn't relax, volunteered to drive so as not to raise suspicions about passing up drinks, planned out food etc.. for Christmas based around what should and shouldn't be consumed. To be honest I feel it's getting on top of me now and I'm totally over thinking everything. But as you say, the minute af arrives know I think right back to that glass of wine, extra cuppa etc.... In reality the stress I'm putting on myself is probably doing more damage than anything else! Personally I'm the kind of person who, when faced with a problem needs to find the solution, fix it and move on. The truth is ttc simply doesn't work that way

kathrino have to admit I did laugh at your post. Same reason I never called yesterday my GP never even mentioned my mc at my last appointment (which was only a few weeks after it happened). I actually had to say to him do you realise I've just had a mc, he said yes I seen it on your notes! I was like we'll surely you ask a patient how they are? So god knows how my request for tests will go down . Not letting go him put me off though. Hope you get on better than me.

Also, I know this is probably just me being paranoid, but does anyone else (especially anyone who's had trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant) feel like if they don't do everything absolutely perfectly that it will be their fault if it doesn't work? I'm obsessed with trying to take everything, eat or not eat everything etc etc.

Hi Skip! No worries, the thread is moving pretty fast so it's easy for posts to get lost! Fingers crossed that 2017 is a good year for us all - we bloody well deserve it!

So stats are: Flash, 28, TTC No. 1, 1 ectopic, I'm calling it cycle 2 as we haven't tried since the last time. I'm really the Feb bus as we missed the boat this cycle, so next test date for me will be around 5th Feb. I feel like I'm in a super long 2WW just waiting to get started!

Morning all, Flash how could I have missed your post?!! welcome back, 2017 WILL be your year lovely.

So I'm missing ages and cycle numbers from Flash, Supper, Poochy and Eva to help with Skips stats, also any other relevant info such as mcs, tests or anything that is relevant to your story if you want to share it. If not, its no problem so don't feel like you have to tell me your life story just to be here :(

We're running at 19% grads, with 9 testers in the next 7 days so hoping Decembers luck rolls over, and keeps on rolling over