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Original poster

Any pregnancies after stillbirth?

33 replies

Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 10:41

i think i have just got my bfp following an mmc and stillbirth. No live children.

I'm in a right state. We were ttc and it's been almost 18month since the stillbirth and 2 years since mmc so i thought i'd be ok but i don't feel it.

To make things worse ive really let my hair down this Christmas. a bottle of wine every night for about the last 7. i know it probably wont do anythng but due to my other losses i'm just so paranoid.

i also had a full head of bleach the other day Sad

already i'm wondering how the f i will cope with more heartbreak.

going to get some asda tests now as used ic and although i could see a line it was very feint and slightly grey so i might be getting well ahead of myself anyway.

OP posts:
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Quiettiger · 25/01/2017 16:26

Hi Ginger

I'm so sorry for your losses. In answer to your question, yes, you can have a stillbirth and MMC's and then a healthy baby. I know that for fact as I'm running late to pick up my 2 year old DD from nursery and I logged on specifically to answer you!

We lost our first DD to stillbirth at 33 weeks in February 2012 and then I had 5 MC (one of which was a MMC at the 12 week scan). Then DD2 arrived.

Many, many congratulations on your pregnancy. Speaking from experience, I'd say BE PUSHY about what you want, don't take no for an answer and make sure you are regularly monitored by the consultant.

But yes, miracles can happen. Smile

Blueroses99 · 25/01/2017 09:13

Hi Ginger and Sunny, how are you getting on?

I had my 12 week scan yesterday and all is looking good so far. I have my nuchal bloods done and opted to pay for the Harmony test so I can find out if anything is wrong (and find out the sex!)

I have my stitch booked in for 3rd Feb - when I finally did see the consultant, she was confident that the previous loss was most likely due to incompetent cervix so recommended that I have a preventative stitch rather than the 'wait and see' approach that the midwife had suggested. I am very relieved. I've had 6 scans so far and expecting to continue to be monitored closely. Apparently you need to be quite demanding to get what you want!

Itsalwayssunny · 04/01/2017 21:33

Ginger, congratulations on your BFP. I had a prem labour and neonatal death last year and I am currently 8+2 at the moment. I have my booking in on friday and I am hoping my MW can give me some info on support available.

Will you have consultant care and extra scans? I am under the consultant but they had no reason for my prem labour (at 23 +5) so they will monitor my cervix to check for incompetence but other than that no extra scans.

Unmumsnetty hugs all round to all of us.

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 03/01/2017 19:30

Thats good advice blue.

Ive asked one of the sands girls who their consultant was as she only has good things to say about them and im going to request the same one.

Rang gp today and requested a call from the mw tomorrow so getting the ball started there.

Im sure my local hospital was doing the nhs nipt trial so i am going to request that and keep my fingers crossed i get it. I think im a good case as my stillborn had a very rare disability.

Have you had scans now then? And everything is looking good? Its good that you are on the ball, hopefully they will stay one step ahead of the game and baby blue will get here safe and sound and healthy.

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teaandbics · 03/01/2017 07:12

Thank you blue.
Congratulations! Wishing a nice boring pregnancy for you too x

Blueroses99 · 02/01/2017 21:04

Ginger after the post mortem where it was found that there was nothing wrong with my baby, and diagnosed as incompetent cervix, the consultant talked about the steps that they would take to prevent another loss. He then wrote to my GP asking that in the event of a future pregnancy, they should refer me to the EPU and pre-term clinic. I was told that I should see the EPU at 7 weeks to date the pregnancy to ensure that the preventative cerclage could be placed at 14 weeks so I went to see my GP after the BFP and got the ball rolling. I also had 2 early scans at the IVF clinic as routine to make sure everything is ok but needed to get into the NHS system as early as possible.

I feel like I need to take control though - I've added my own Sands sticker to my maternity notes. The cervix issue can't be treated until early second trimester though so I'm just waiting... Although I'm with the same maternity unit, I'm going to be under the care of a different team, so I'm going to request a copy of my notes and share them with the relevant team, just so there are no excuses not to have them.

Tea I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 02/01/2017 17:33

Thanks tea you take care too x

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teaandbics · 02/01/2017 17:30

I'm ok thanks ginger. Yes, Christmas was pretty awful and I'm very glad it's over to be honest. Am really pleased that this Christmas has been a gentle and good one for you. Lovely news Flowers
Take care x

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 02/01/2017 16:22

I did wonder blue if they go through your previous notes? I am going to ring gp tomo and insist mw rings me as im sure they will fob me off with the usual 8 wk appointment or whatever it is.

tea lovely to hear from you. How are you? I imagine this has been a really tough couple of weeks. I remember last year and how hard it was. Fortunately this year was much gentler on us. Here here to a boring one!

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teaandbics · 02/01/2017 15:48

Hello ginger
Congratulations! You were so kind to me after I lost my baby boy in July, so I was delighted to read this and to find out your happy news. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you a nice boring pregnancy! xxxx

Blueroses99 · 01/01/2017 17:17

Ginger hope you had a lovely evening.

You would think that they know what to look for, but I've been referred to a pre-term surveillance clinic who are apparently the specialists in preventing pre-term birth but they need to make up their own minds as to how to treat me. When I spoke to them they hadn't seen my notes or anything so they wouldn't go with the recommendations made by my previous consultant. It leaves me in limbo for the next few weeks until I see them. The uncertainty is stressful Sad

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 21:07

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you snoop. It's not always bad news.

With my first i bled at 9wks and that was mmc. With 2nd exactly the same happened but he was fine until later on anyway

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Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 31/12/2016 20:30

I think your fear is absolutely 100% natural. Will you have extra support in place from epu etc? Aw bless your mum, mines exactly the same and they're right.

I ended up having 3 mc's but then I had my dd in May this year after private treatment. I got an unexpected bfp on the 16th December but I wasn't on my treatment and I've had a couple of wipes of brown discharge which has always been bad news for me. Scan on Wednesday to find out what's going on.

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 17:16

Thanks snoopy and blueroses

I remember you snoopy hope you are well!

blueroses a pregnancy buddy will be awesome. Im sorry for your loss. I spose its good they know what to look for?

I just dont feel excited at all. Have period type aches too so thats right in the forefront of my mind. I am just going to keep telling myself if you dont try you wont get a baby.

I think we have settled on me drinking a drop of prosecco with lemonade in the house then i will order nothing and coke in the pub and hope no1 notices. Either that or jus tell everyone which i dont spose is end of world as immediate family.

Told my parents this afternoon. They are over the moon. My dm is so old school she said ahh just drink we didnt used to even find out we were pregnant until we were 3month gone hahaha!

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KittyandTeal · 31/12/2016 17:14

Gingerbread I just wanted to say massive congratulations!

I don't have any advice for you but I'm wishing you a very boring and uneventful pregnancy 💐

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 31/12/2016 17:10

Hi gingerbreadmam, don't know if you remember me. We were on the ttc after miscarriage thread a long time ago. Anyway I just wanted to say Congratulations and I'll be thinking of you x

Blueroses99 · 31/12/2016 15:05

Hi Ginger I'm so pleased to hear your news. I am pregnant 8+5 after a stillbirth in July (both IVF pregnancies) and although I was in a happy bubble to begin with, I am really anxious now. The reason for my loss (incompetent cervix) could occur again without intervention and I'm waiting for the second trimester to find out what my ongoing care will look like. (It would be great to have a pregnancy buddy if you would like...?)

I have told a few people but been mostly disappointed that no one is getting excited for this one, everyone is being far too cautious. So we've decided not to tell anymore people for a while.

Tonight, can you stick to non-alcoholic alternatives such as N&T (nothing & tonic) or virgin mojito? If your DP keeps you topped up, you won't have to explain what you're drinking? (If that's what you are worried about, I may have misunderstood!)

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 14:13

It's family and we have already spoken to a fair few who know i am fine plus someone is travelling especially for the occasion so id rather not.

Thank you so much. I hope so too.

So sorry for your friends thats terribly sad.

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Swearwolf · 31/12/2016 14:00

Do you have to go out tonight, could you just tell friends you're not well and stay home with a nice hot chocolate?

Alb1 · 31/12/2016 13:56

ginger my local sands group have been a life saver since finding out, they recommended the best consultant to me (mine was lovely but this one is more experienced with pregnancy after loss) and put me back in contact with the bereavement midwife who I'd stopped talking to and she arranged my booking in appointment for me as I couldn't face sorting all that stuff out. So it's great that you have that support in real life

RandomMess · 31/12/2016 13:48

Flowers all of my friends who had a stillbirth (more than a handful sadly) have gone on to have live DC despite some of them have MMC along the way. Be kind to yourselves, tell the people who you believe will be most supportive.

Wishing you the very best for 2017, may it be your year x

Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 13:40

Also angel im very sorry for you loss.

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Original poster
Gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2016 13:40

Thank you.

I go to a sands support group and am due there tuesday actually so that will probably be helpful thank you.

Thanks alb i'll have a look at the group now.

I really dont know how we're going to get through the pub tonite.

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angelopal · 31/12/2016 13:14

Not a still birth but had a neonatal loss. That was 4 years ago and now have a 2 year old. It was a hard pregnancy due to worry. Have you ever used the SANDS forums. There is a group for next pregnacies. It really kept me sane throughout. Hope all goes well for you.

Alb1 · 31/12/2016 13:01

Maybe just give yourself a few days or weeks to get used to being pregnant again and let it sink in first, don't worry about making decisions. Have you seen the pregnancy after MC thread in the pregnancy topic? I don't get time to post on there much at the moment but there's lots of ladies who no what the early days stress is like, maybe go and have a read through or say hello on there if you feel it may help Flowers

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