Baby Envy

It's incredibly insensitive to post this thread in infertility. You state you have only been without contraception for a couple of months. The majority of women on here will have been trying for at the very least a year, most much MUCH longer and would give absolutely anything for a baby of either gender, I suspect that if you ever reached the point of desperation most of us have, all your thoughts about gender will have long gone out the window.

Is it possible that your strong aversion to having a boy comes from some fear/dislike of men that needs to be addressed? It might sound odd, but I used to dread the idea of a son due to horrible experiences (including rape). I thought any son would turn out sexist and not love me. Now I've addressed these issues (90% anyway!) I actually hope to have a boy in the future.
Maybe you need to explore why you so desperately only want a girl?

For someone like me though - If I do fall pregnant , do I find out the gender or not?? And why?

Why not concentrate on getting pregnant first, or if you genuinely don't think you'd be able to cope with a male baby stop trying to conceive until you're in a place where it wouldn't be such an issue?

My sister desperately didn't want a girl and then she when she had one she absolutely loved her.

I think it's common for people to build up ideas of what their perfect family would look like and worry about whag would happen if things turned out differently. I'd consider counselling to try and work out where this desire has come from and help you to cope if you were to become pregnant with a girl.

After you've been trying for years (as many people in this board have), gender preference tends to go away. I hope you wre successful with trying to conceive. A few months feels long but it's too early to worry yet.

Totally relate t this op. And gender disappointment is a real thing . A lot of people just don't understand it and can be really dismissive and judgmental about it. I had two boys and was desperate for a girl, I did all the nonsense Chinese charts and looked at the shettles method etc etc felt really low if others had girls . My third was a girl and obviously I was delighted but I can genuinely say 6 years on I love them all equally and would not swap the boys for the world ( if that makes sense) you aren't a mum yet but you will be so overwhelmed with love for whatever you have.
Don't get caught up in superstitious nonesens like if they've had a girls it's one less girl for me etc it's 50/50 every time regardless .

Your username is maybe saying something you're not op? Obviously there would be a 50% chance you would have a girl if you got pregnant but would you really not want a boy? I take it there are very personal reasons for this.
Would you intend to find out the gender?
I've known many people to say this and feel totally different, my neighbour has recently had a 4th boy despite really really wanting a girl and she is on cloud nine.

My dear departed grandmother always used to say "what's for you won't go against you "
I always asked her what she meant when I was a child and she said that if you're meant to have something then you will, I have understood it so much better as an adult and believe things happen for a reason.
Best of luck op :)

I expect that people aren't all having girls, it's just they're the ones you're noticing. When we started TTC, I swear EVERYONE suddenly had a baby or a baby bump, it was all I saw.

Out of interest, what is it that makes you prefer a girl over a boy?

I had a preference for a girl. Im now pregnant and Im having twin boys. It took me a little while to get past it but now i couldnt give a damn what sex they are. I think like me you'd realise it's really not important once there's a real live human to worry about.

I get the envious thing, it's hard. We've been trying for a while and I still find it tough to see another pregnancy announcement on Facebook (although I'm working hard at not getting upset)

Can I suggest that your desperation for a girl stems from your desperation to have a baby? Have you been TTC long? Have you had any tests done?
I think it's natural to have a preferred gender. Personally, I would prefer a girl but if I had a boy I would be thrilled. I think I see girls as being easier but I'm a nanny so that's just my personal experience of a small number of families.

It's normal to want a baby so badly it causes envy, you just have to find a way to work through it

Well I can't help with the infertility side but I desperately wanted a boy (for no logical reason, it was simply how I felt).

Anyway, as it turned out he was a boy. 10 months on I can say it makes no difference whatsoever.

Don't be so hard on yourself