SQUARE ONE TO GRADUATES! Over here! Let's go find those BFPS!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Ladies, You have been the best!
Really struggling today. Boys been really sweet, and I enjoyed seeing them smile. It's all a bit odd, yesterday he dropped off dozen Roses, and my Christmas presents. Anyway can't bring myself to open them. Had a call from his mother who cried and said she isn't happy with him and cant make sense of it. I can't believe he actually went up north and left me here.. My friend is being wonderful and looking after me. She goes back tomorrow, and I'm going to visit my brother tomorrow for a few days. Keep busy.

Durez- sorry no not nose bleed I mean I've been bleeding AF for 6days. It's heavy still- maybe it's the stress.

Merry Christmas you lot! This past year (nearly) has had highs and lows and I really have appreciated the support... Love to all of you and your family for being amazing women!

May have already been on the cava...

Merry Christmas girls!! 🎄
Likewise tee you girls have kept me sane this year! Really hope we are enjoying pregnancies together next year 🍼🍼🍼

Have a lovely day all 🥂 footy I hope you are having fun with your best mate and the boys xx

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. You've been a bigger part of my 2016 than you'll ever know. Thank you for being there, here's to lots of 2017 bfps!!

Wishing you all and your families a very merry Christmas

Foot hope you are ok. Thinking of you .

No nose bleeding is not normal. However just up now to do the horses and got bright red on the tissue 😢 Only on CD19 so really early AF it looks like.

Thanks, yes I need to focus on myself and the boys . Still bleeding - never been this long. 6 days. Usually 2-3 days. It's bright bright red. Do u think it's just stress? Bad cramps with it.

Still can't sleep much I just keep waking up. Thoughts racing through my mind. Frustrating ! thought santa's whisky would have helped but no.,

She does indeed sound like a keeper. I have such respect for you footy already, but you've been dealt a shit hand and have handled it so well, all things considered! You have so much to be proud of!!!

Your boys and you are your focus and it's great that your mate came down!!! Gives you something else to focus on!! Make sure she feeds you!!!! Oh and I HIGHLY recommend a Christmas Day walk in the countryside (if you have any near you!).

Plans for the future comes LATER! - talking to myself there as much as anything, as I still haven't decided whether or not to go back to my job in Jan... Starting at new place at the end of Feb.

Cd 21. Had a temp spike yesterday (ov has been around cd 19/20 for the last couple of cycles), but then it plummeted today... so undsure if I have a pattern yet or not.

Sounds like a few Bfps are headed our way....

Hurrah for best friends! She sounds like a keeper! Really hope you can enjoy Christmas as much as can be expected. Don't put pressure on yourself to regain immediate structure with the boys, give yourself a break! Christmas is always unstructured at the best of times anyway, so no harm in some temporary unlimited screen time and naughty foods while you're picking up the pieces he shattered! xxx

My best friend has arrived at my house all the way from Ireland with a bottle of gin! She has abandoned her plans with her sister to be here to support me. I feel so blessed to have such good friends.

Only told her yesterday! Hope u all have a wonderful Christmas.

Will fill you in later; but nothing much has changed after seeing him. I'm not in a good place to discuss our future so offered not many words. One day at a time, and he made his decision so he can humble himself to tell his family what he's done.

DuRez, is nose bleed normal for you?? I only get a nose bleed when pregnant?? You have been spotting which could be IB??

Very strange as don't really have bad periods at all, always been very fortunate and breezed through them.

Roll on the next cycle when it starts!

Thank you ladies for your positive thoughts.

Tee - it's so sad isn't it, we'd have been almost 23 weeks. That's a good resolution and I like your positive thinking. I've got a busy time with work when I get back so hoping that'll take my mind off of it and it'll just happen!

Jam - good on you with your timing fx you got it nailed!

Durez - fx you aren't out of it yet I hope they are sticky bean pains and not AF.

Mim - when I fell I had such strange dreams, hopefully it's a good sign for you! fx

You shall be having your Christmases before me as we are 8 hours behind so Merry Christmas everyone. Those waiting for the test results I have everything crossed and hope to see a few bfps between Christmas and new year! x

Tee my nose has been bleeding all day yesterday and this morning. Been a bit of a pain.

Oh blimey girls you have been busy, I've missed a lot of messages! Been getting prepped for 2 days of hosting our 2 sets of family! Think I'm all ready! Just need to put presents under the tree when LO goes to bed, set table and peel spuds!! So excited!!

Footy have you met him yet?? I bloody hope he had an apology. How can his family entertain him over Christmas knowing what he's done (assuming they know now), I would expect them to give him a good talking to! I'm sure he will be thoroughly miserable if he goes ahead with those plans.
Oh Beagles I have been there!! It's sooooo frustrating! I told DH as much last night too. He keeps getting majorly amorous outside of ovulation. Week before ov he was like a dog on heat, then again this week he's been pouncing as soon as I step into bed, but FW I got rejected 3 out of the 5 attempts I made! If he's ill I have zero chance of action.
Kiki sorry you feel down. I can totally relate; we should have been 12 weeks today! Just trying to distract myself with Christmas. I definitely feel positive about starting a new year though. Resolution = bfp!!
Mim no symptoms here unfortunately, waiting patiently for hot skin or bloody nose. Due AF next Friday, 9dpo today. Are you testing today?!! Got everything crossed for you, you've waited so long!!
Argh second guessing is so frustrating Jam. Definitely temp 2017 if no joy this cycle. I definitely notice CM turns more white after ov, even if there are still some signs of ewcm. Keep up DTD just in case!
DuRez FX you just tested too early and AF stays away!! Glad you've finished up early.

Hello everybody else sorry to those I missed!! MERRY CHRISTMAS all if I don't get a chance to check in tomorrow xx

That sounds lovely durez, especially the puppy! 🐶

For the first time in 6 years I have finished work at lunch time on Christmas Eve (I have a horse stud so there's no such thing as Christmas!) and am drowning my sorrows with a lovely glass of Malbec, with the fire roaring and my puppy by my feet!

Spotting seems to have stopped for now, but feeling a bit like AF is almost here. In some ways wish it would just happen so I can stop checking etc.

I have been and bought a test so did one this afternoon and BFN. Silly, I know but was worth a shot 👍🏻

I still can't decide if I've ovulated or not. Boobs are less tingly and a bit sore, I'm a bit more emotional. Don't know what's going on with cm - yesterday had some EWCM. I don't know if being under the weather has interfered with things. I haven't had as much ovulation pain as I usually do. Will just have to keep fingers crossed it's happened. The positive OPK came at the right time I guess. DH home in 2 hours .. I will be ready to leash! X.

Happy Christmas Eve ladies

You sound like such a lovely caring mum footy im sure your boys will have a wonderful Christmas despite their dad's behaviour. I really really hope he's got a good apology for you my dear. Big hugs to you.

Keeping everything crossed for you mimi I hope those are the right cramps and not af. Enjoy the wedding!

How are you tee?

Hope all our pregnant ladies are doing well. Radders I hope your family are okay, I can imagine Christmas might be tough for your folks this year. I hope you and your oh enjoy it with bump.

Sorry durez I hope you can push TTC to the back of your mind and enjoy Christmas for now.

7 days late Young?! Oh my goodness. Are you using a sensitive test?

Oh beagles your rotten husband that is mean. If you explain how much it means to you do you think he would get on board?

Ah Kiki it must be overwhelmingly sad at times hon don't feel bad for feeling low or talking about it. That's what we are here for. I hope you feel brighter for Christmas - there is a new year ahead full of possibilities!

Footy I know what you mean. It's yonks ago now but my dad told us on Boxing Day he was splitting up with my mum and he moved out on New Year's Day. I think I was 11 ish and my sister 14. We were really upset at the time but we both still love Christmas so not too scarred. (Our parents had real issues so not suggesting you guys will actually separate). We like those films for a bit of escapism but yeah not real life and can be really upsetting if you're feeling raw x

Morning all

Sending more hugs your way foot.you can indulge in all the cake and chocolate .hope things work out the way you want hun.

I had a horrible night. Severe cramps, I woke up 3 times to take pain killers and no bleeding yet to top it off l dreamt I was about to poas and l started losing some mucus plug (like during labor ) then I got my clear bfp . madness. It must have been the pills lol.

Sending you hugs too kiki .sorry you are feeling down. It will never be forgotten but it will get better.

Sending you hugs beagles .men are just selfish. Agree with foot,if only they could be turned into women for a few days, their behavior would definitely change. Enjoy the holidays non the less.

young ,sorry you are in limbo.l have had a few cycles too when I was late and got a bfn . only time will tell so fx.

durez any news today? Fx it's ib.either way, enjoy your Christmas.

earth glad you enjoyed your relaxed afternoon.

jam good luck in the tww. It's a good thing you managed to get some conga just before. Jump oh on his return today

tee any symptoms dear? When are you due your af?have a wedding to attend today and can't seem to shake the feeling af is imminent. Come already old hag.

Mimi any news? Are you late yet?
Hope it's good news for you. Thanks again for your support.

Apologies if my posts are rambled I just can't sleep much so feel exhausted!
He wants to see me today and the boys. He wants to give me my presents! Not sure how I feel about that ?but the boys want to see him. Part of me doesn't want him to see me like this - honestly look a mess. Swollen eyes dark circles, pale. House a mess. But other part thinks let him see the damage he's caused. I honestly believe he will be back, and this is some gruelling punishment to cross him and question his opinion. He will have to explain to his family that he left me and boys and I do trust they will tell him he's a fool and will be cross with him. He hasn't told them yet. Although yes I want him back I do think we'll never recover from this. The pieces might stick back together but the cracks will still be there. I feel I can't trust him anymore but desperately love him and want things to be right.

Jam, thanks for your words - yes I know he's selfish. I married him knowing that so I work around it usually. I swing from anger to devastation throughout the long hours of the day. I want to punch him, I want to hug him- I've had enough of him to I want him. I can barely sleep still and have lost weight already so I don't think that is helping my state of mind. I've been through lots in my past and always want to fix people's problems but now I just don't know where to begin.
Boys are ok considering. They have stopped asking questions and hug me if I cry (which I'm trying to not let them see, but the tears just roll out sometimes when I don't expect. They had McDonald's yesterday, lots of snacks and endless no limit time on their tablets so they are ok. Finding this the biggest challenge is getting back into my tight routine with them as all infant to do is hide under a duvet for a week.

Anyway hope you are in a good merry spirit now your good work is done. Enjoy Christmas and your bread sauce!