Thread 21 TTC #1 - The one where all our cycles went haywire but we DID NOT GIVE UP

I'm hoping this feeling disappears as soon as I have a baby in my arms Sk1pper it's been a long road and at times I've been so upset or feeling like it will never happen. I think my low point hit when we stopped summer 2015. I cried myself to sleep for a week before I decided to stop being such an idiot.

It does make your heart stronger though. I've actually felt ok this time around. I'm not sure how long that will last but I firmly believe positivity breeds positivity and happiness is a choice we have to choose.

Did another silly thing last night. Turned on the washing machine without the liquid pod in. Seriously I'm losing my marbles haha

Kwick - I echo what everyone else says of course. I think you are one of the most positive among us and I really love your humour - everyone on here deserves their BFP but his has gotta be the one for you. It's just got to be xx Though I will miss you if you go...badly.

Mouse - woah 8 years is a long time to have this feeling for, I'm amazed you even managed to postpone it - there have been times we should have stopped TTC for one reason or another and I just couldn't bear to loose a cycle. I am a huge believer in everything happens for a reason, so you'll have your BFP soon enough and the. You can forget about all this.

Does anyone even think we'll remember the struggle once our kids are born?

Binky - there's still time, still got my fx for you.

So last nights joy was that I woke at 00:30 to pee and then couldn't get back to sleep Had what I think is heartburn (never had before) and nausea driving me mad, so gave up and got up. Whilst watching SATC box set and doing 3 loads of washing, I obviously spent ages reading about early signs of pregnancy etc etc, and then of course decided to take a test- BFN. hardly a surprise but FGS come on body! Guess will see what happens with AF next couple of days

Miranda- hear hear!

Kwick and mouse FX for testing. Come on BFPs!

I think what's great about this thread is that everyone is so honest about their feelings so it makes it really easy to share how you feel. I've only been on here for a week or so but it's helped so much knowing you're all there to talk to 😊 can't wait for you all to get BFPs!

Defo rooting for you all especially you guys mouse and Kwick as you're next up by the sounds of things. This forum brings me sanity and friendship in a very bleak at times world. Thanks for all being here. Pom poms ready!

Kwick I really hope yours turn to positive next week. I tested early too, I know, don't know why I bothered. Boredom.

I think I'd be really sad without you ladies. I almost dread being around other people now at parties or gatherings and tis the season!!! MUST. STAY. POSITIVE.

I suppose, background for you all, closest friends and family knew we were TTC in 2013. A few things happened in life and work which meant we had to stop. I left my job in early 2014 and then took 4 months off. We decided to wait. So I went back on BC.

In 2015 we started TTC again. I was off BC a week when we again, had to stop. This time an opportunity arose which meant we had to wait until 2016, but realistically it would give us a better environment to have a baby in. So again, we had another break.

I suppose I'm just a little tired. It's all we've talked about, all I've thought about and something we've wanted since we got married, 8 years ago. I know you ladies understand. It's why I love venting to you all, I feel like my thoughts are safe here. I don't feel that so much in other threads.

PMA for lots of Christmas BFP!!!

Aw so hope it's BFP for you kwick sending positive vibes.

Fanks jam
My feet are like ice... gonna watch I'm a celebrity from med I think to get warm.

Deep breaths kwick really keeping everything crossed for you lovely stay calm and positive this week

What 20 minute wait for the opks?

My official test date is 2 December but I may have started testing already
My AF will not arrive until I stop progesterone - which I will only stop taking if I get a bfn on 2 Dec.
I am trying to stave off my increasing feeling of sadness and remain hopeful but starting to test so early is a tactic I use to better handle a BFN - I start by using opks, and then move on to cheapie HTP strips.
The "funny" thing is I am quite apprehensive about getting a BFP - not sure I could handle another MC...
Fuck I wish this was not all so hard!!!
Also feeling very apprehensive about going back to work tomorrow and have to keep telljng myself: "stress does not impact TTC/breathe"

Thanks for the list geeup

binky I so hope you get a bfp!!

The only symptom I have is sore boobage - which could also be AF...

So who is the next person to test? We fricking need a BFP!!!!!

That's a fab list gee I will refer back to that when if AF comes

Good luck and lsfx for all TWW ers

Evening everyone. No testing for me, going to try and hold out until AF is due on Saturday and will test on Sunday morning if she doesn't show. Not feeling too positive due to my super early ovulation this month, although only 9dpo today.

Love that list gee there are lots of things to be thankful for. It's hard to read of people getting BFPs on cycle one but everyone is different and we will all get our BFPs in our own time. Everything happens for a reason.

Gee that's a great list, I will definitely be looking at that again 😊

FX for you Binky that's all sounding promising, really hope it's good news for you.

Thanks ladies that's really helpful 😊

Jam hope your TWW goes quickly, fx for you

geeup - we've had similar days, spent a good hour or two today clearing the leaves in my garden. I made perfectly sure the tree was bare before I did it...a nice tactical decision to wait. My neighbour seems to be out there doing it every week!

Binky - I have everything crossed for you. We need another BFP, it really lifts everyone spirits.

I've just twiddling my thumbs waiting for AF to sod off. I actually hate this bit more than the 2ww. And annoyingly my OH is super flirty and touchy feely, hope he's like this in a weeks time!

geeup - we've had similar days, spent a good hour or two today clearing the leaves in my garden. I made perfectly sure the tree was bare before I did it...a nice tactical decision to wait. My neighbour seems to be out there doing it every week!

Binky - I have everything crossed for you. We need another BFP, it really lifts everyone spirits.

I've just twiddling my thumbs waiting for AF to sod off. I actually hate this bit more than the 2ww. And annoyingly my OH is super flirty and touchy feely, hope he's like this in a weeks time!

Well done mouse with your strength despite silly people. Hope that you've had a lovely day nespresso-ing and eating cake I agree, I wish I could make you all have BFPs right now. Star you have the right attitude- it WILL happen for us

Wanting let's hope the dreams come true!

Miranda I'm no expert with OPKs but my method was from cd8 (I'm a 32 dayish cycle kinda girl) I'd do one a day, late afternoon when I knew I could be roughly consistent doing them. Then, as the line started to show, I'd up to 2-3 per day depending on my schedule. It meant I only had a handful of days where I'd have to work out how to do a middle of the day one. I also stuck them all in a notebook so that I could get the gist of what was going on. Good luck!

Autumn walk sounds lovely London. Good luck for surviving the 2WW- it feels so much longer than the rest of the cycle doesn't it!

Gee tea in bed is what Sundays are made for! Hopefully though you won't have many to enjoy until you have a little one invading the party Your list is a great idea- when you're so desperate to get pregnant it's easy to forget all the wonderful things we all already have

As for testing gee and skipper, I will be this week if no AF shows up on Tuesday. I'm trying not to symptom spot, but I have felt increasingly nauseous the last 2 days, and haven't been able to face my usual copious cuppas (i had to have a green tea earlier as my decaf tasted so off). I also feel very swollen low down in my stomach- not bloated like I normally get at this stage (ie no gas ) but no boob aches/ sensitivity either. Also a bit breathless doing nothing weirdly. We had a good go at DTD this cycle due to holiday but I think I'm setting myself up for heartbreak!

Things to be grateful for while we wait for our bfps:
Unbroken sleep
Lie ins
Tea in bed
Peace and quiet
Adult conversation which is uninterrupted
Long showers/baths
Going to the loo on our own
Buying stuff we like without feeling guilty/self indulgent
Wandering round the shops without whingey kids and ginormous buggies
Being able to go out whenever you want because you're not in a routine and don't have to be "back for a nap"
Going to the pub/dinner/anywhere without having to arrange childcare
That's made me feel a bit better anyway!

Like skipper said, anyone testing soon? Am day 4 (day 2 of third round of clomid) and it's soooo boring. Feels so long till I ovulate and can start testing for something.
Been out gardening all day which was good. Hope the leaves are nearly finished falling as am knackered from picking them all up! Seen lots of babies this weekend and does remind you how much hard work they are! DH and I enjoyed our lazy lie in this morning and tea in bed!

Star I'm a total OPK obsessive you probably do not need to do them that much! I can quite easily do them at work so I do. I think you'll be fine if you wait until you get home from work.

Mouse bless you. I felt like that when I first started trying. I think I felt most desperate about 6-7 months in. How I feel more of a kind of dazed resignation and acceptance that it's just not happening. Hope it's not long for you.

Oh Mouse bless you. Do not read those threads. Yes there's are lots of people where it happens straight away but there are lots like us who take some time to get there. But the important this is we WILL get there xx

Anyone testing soon?

Star I did one a day, got 4 strong positive days on my OPK. I think until you see whats best for you once a day will be ok. It's your first cycle using them after all.

Well, what was meant to be a day out with DH has turned to me being home alone, his friend taking him to footy (which I absolutely don't mind about) so I've had cake, 2 nespresso coffees (1 decaf lol) and set up my new printer. I'm about to print this weeks schedule for my planner and stop reading threads on here from people getting BFP after 5 mins of TTC.

I have no idea why I'm letting it get me upset. I can't believe I'll say this, but some ladies in this thread deserve it sooooo much more. I wish we could all get our BFP right this second.

Mouse that's terrible of ur friend. Why people think this stuff is their business is beyond me. You did so well to hold it together.

Miranda I'm doing opks for the first time this cycle. I'm CD 12 & have just had a very faint line. My cycles are 31-33 days.
Jam oh I thought once a day would be enough to test. I don't want to test at work & the instructions don't recommend using FMU so I'm not sure how I'd fit in more than 1 test. It's so faffy, do you wait 20 mins before testing as per the instructions?

Miranda i would agree with kwick on the OPK s. I do them three times a day from about day 10 to 17, knowing I get the surge on day 15 pretty much every month. I'd give yourself a bigger window to start with to make sure you don't miss it.

I haven't watched the Crown yet kwick but definitely will be!

Had a lovely autumnal walk in the woods today and felt quite reflective. Think I'm 1 DPO and my hormones are shifting. Better buckle up for another TWW ...