First trip to doctors with dh - any advice on what to say and what to expect gratefully received...

Hi again,

No that makes exact sense! We were the same! I saw pregnant people everywhere...where do they all spring from? I tseemed all my friends were pregnant too at the time which adds to the despair. Dont give up hun, there is so much that modern medicine can do. I tried to remember an aunt who couldnt have kids, and her hubby wouldnt adopt...we are afr luckier than that whatever happpens! They can test for so much and fix so much....we are lucky to live now rather than long ago. Try to keep your spirits up. Also remember whatever they say about "averages" there are always people at both extremes who keep the average average! you know what i mean! So never say never....

I wish you so well! I relaly do...Just having been there I can identify where you are at...so good luck and dont forget Im here of you want an ear or anything!

I think telling you to not worry, is like trying to hold back the tide! I cannot ever forget how fraught, worried and so on I was and my oldest is now 13. Of course you are worried you would be inhuman not to be.I am not a patient person either. I became this crazy baby obsessed woman the whole time. but I have to agree with zzoey, its a good idea to try and do other things. Even if to stop your hubby getting mad with you! It can so easily take over your entire life. So plan little steps, holidays if you can afford to, but at the least romatic meals out, make him feel you still have each other. You will need this too.
Im a great believer in you will get there one day. having been sat in the Drs room and told I would never have kids, I have to...I now have 3 sons and I thank every day for them!
If I can be any help at all do not hesitate to ask...Im happy to talk to you or be an ear if you want to vent...
Write to
[email protected] anytime!
goodluck!

cityangel, regarding patience - dont know if this helps...
when i had a long wait to conceive -
I'm like you and not at all patient and i'm also a worrier so worried at once would Never conceive. looking back i wish I could have relaxed more. what did help us mostwhen we went through tests and treatment was just to get on with life - new job, exotic holidays. especially to do more of the things you won't be able to do when you have kids whether its long lie ins or moutaineering. when you get pregnant you can always cancel holidays or change your plans then.
so what i'm trying to say is - noone even a cons can tell you how long you will wait for your baby. my top tip is to make the wait whether its a few months or years as worthwhile a part of life as you can and not just a long wait like standing at the bus stop.
well, that's what i wish i could have done more of looking back
have 3 kids now and wish i hadn't spent 2 years worried sick
wishing you every luck with your journey

Hi again, sorry been absent a while but came back to see how you were doing.
I know you both went/are going to a different hospital than me, I went to a hospital in Bristol, but on the first visit we had a lot of tests! All the physical exams, blood tests etc were all done with the initial questionaires etc. We were told to be there for 8.45 to check in, I thought it would only be a chat but we didnt get to leave till 1 pm! So be prepared is my advice. Try not to panic too much. Im a terrible worrier, but they are all so sympathetic and somne of the nurses were wonderful! I got really chatty with some over the subsequesnt visits!

Keep us informed and I am certainly here if you need a shoulder, sympathetic ear or whatever! I remember so so well what its like.
you may email me direct..
[email protected]

Good luck!
Fiona

I was sent off for the tests - none are done there and then. They either have to be done on specific days of the month for you or you need to get the appointments booked in for the HSG/scan/sperm tests. In our case my dp had to wait nearly 3 months before he could get a slot to drop off his sperm sample - I don't know if that is normal though. The HSG and scan were both about 4 weeks until the appointment.
We then had to wait nearly 4 months for the appointment for the results though, so that was very frustrating.
Do bear in mind that they have a cancellation list so if you are looking at a wait of 4 months for your next appointment it would be worth putting your name on that.

Cityangel, I have just come looking for you to see how you are progressing and found this. It sounds like a good thing that you got yourself referred as the time it takes for the appointments to come round can seem like ages. Mid-april is pretty good going though.
I went to Barts too. I saw someone called Al Shawaf first time. He took a fairly detailed history of periods and previous pregnancies and asked about our lifestyle then he sent us off for a whole raft of tests (scan, hsg, sperm, day 3 bloods and day 21 bloods). Then we saw Dr Zosmer the second time when I got all the results of the tests.

Good luck.

Hi,

GPS will tell you you have to have been trying for a year. They will go through things with you ask about periods etc and check you are not some nut that thinks they can get pregnant through their tummy button! (yes our Dr sais she had met someone who had thought that!)
If you were older the Dr may start tests right away. In which case you get hormone injections. when the Dr has sorted the basic hormone level tests etc and got results if they cannot see something easy to sort by them they will refer you to hospital.
first trip to hospital is not fun. they take a full mediical history. full examinations for you and hubby or partner, hormone tests and blood tests for all they can think of. I remember with us it was a bit of an ordeal and lasted a morning. However when you get to that it does feel positive because you are DOING something. Know what I eman? Also you get to chat to a consultant who will give you some iudea of where you are headed and what you need to go through.

I have done the lot! and survived! now proud Mum to 3 great boys!!!

i wish you well.

Fiona

I can imagine some of the stress just lifted when you realised he was sympathetic and understanding! Hang on to him as a GP!! It is the first step along the way, but at least you are being pro-active!! I think the feeling of doing something is very important... in my terms it is charting my temps, I realise it is early days, but I think if I was just doing it every couple of days with no knowledge of ovulation, I would be a huge stress ball, this way I am calmer.

Keep us posted with everything won't you??

Best wishes again

That's great news!! What a relief it must have been to not have a GP that needed convincing! All the best, keep us posted. Although, I am so hopeful that you fall pregnant now that you have started the referral ball rolling!! Sometimes life is funny like that huh!!

Good luck!!

Glad it went well

really pleased to hear that CA
xx

I read somewhere you could seek help if you'd been trying for a year, or 'more than six months, if you are over 30 and feel that you are running out of time'. I didn't really feel that, but felt it gave me carte blanche to see my GP anyway - happily he is an eminently sensible man who realised that cycles of 53, 31 and 152 days (!) after coming off the pill indicated something wrong that wasn't going to fix itself in the next six months.

'Something' turned out to be an underactive thyroid, and then continued failure to ovulate even after that was fixed. So clomid it was, successful on the third cycle, ie before they start getting even more serious, phew.

Hi there Cityangel, there's lots of good advice here, and I don't have much more to add except my own experience. I'm 36 and I went to my gp aged 35 having being ttc for 8 months. I must admit I lied and said it was a year, I felt guilty about that, but hormones do funny things to you. my gp referred me to the assisted conception unit, but she knew the wait for an appointment was long, so she did cd1/2 and cd21/22 blood tests to reassure me (testing for oestrogens and progesterone, to confirm if I was ovulating. it did go some way to reassuring me. I also had a pcos scan done at my local hospital, which showed everything was fine in that department. It might be worth seeing if your gp can arrange something similar, which falls just short of a full referral and might give you a better idea of what's going on, esp if you don't feel like lying. I'm not sure I'd rely on the "get referred to the assisted conception unit and see if that makes me pregnant" method, although of course, three months after my referral, I did get pregnant!! Of course, that could just have been because I'd been trying for 14 months by then and it was my time! Good luck x

DP and i have been ttc for 7 months, i brought the subject up recently and he turned me away for another 5 months.......also i told him how i'd been using ovulation kits and he told me to throw them away and didnt agree with it! Just be careful wot u say.......

Lots of people I know have told the dr they have been trying for longer than they have as waiting lists are so long. I saw a notice in the hospital near me that they havent got any appointments until july! Good luck I am sure it will happen naturally but it dosent do any harm to be on the waiting list.

Hi Cityangel,
I went to the GP's after 7months of TTC. The GP was lovely and referred me for an ultra sound scan a month later to rule out PCOS (which was all clear) and was told to come back 2 months later and she'd start with blood tests. Not sure whether she moved quicker than usual as I'm 34 and said I was a little anxious about getting older etc. She did lecture me about not obssessing over OTK etc and said to BD 3 times a week between day 9 and 19. I booked into to see her as planned 2 months later and in the mean time fell pregnant. Sadly it was ectopic tho. Good luck