TTC no 2 for older mums

I'm not TTC anymore (hence the name) but since you asked for TTC no. 2 for older mums experience - I got pregnant with no. 1 at age 37 after trying for 9 - 12 months (unbelievably I can't remember the exact stats now) and no. 2 aged 40 after 5 months. I know exactly how it feels ... and getting wound up is the worst thing of all. If you are seriously stressed, I would advise a couple of months deliberately NOT trying. Avoid sex at your most fertile times. Then book a fabulous holiday somewhere exotic 9 to 12 months hence from when you start trying again. Very very good luck to all.

hi i,ve been ttc2 nearly 3yrs

this does give me hope as i,m sure i concieved this way with our 1st over 5 yrs and feel now i,m producing too micu of the stress hormone

I would like to point out that spontaneous ovulation is responsible for 85% of pregnancies, and explains why trying just doesn't work.
Spontaneous ovulation occurs when you are being naughty with your partner. The surge of hormones causes and egg to suddenly be ripened and released when you don't even know about it, so it doesn't matter at all when you do it. Also, the hormone (is it cortisone) which results from stress and worry, adversley affects egg production and quality. So, statistically your best chance is having a few large drinks and some you know what.

oh claraq, you make me feel better!

I had actually come back to apologise in case my earlier message had caused offence to anyone. Plenty of people conceive late 30's early 40's. I tend to forget that, as I tend to spend a lot of time supporting those at the very far end of the conceiving spectrum.I'm not a medical practitioner, but over the years have learned from hundreds of hours of research.
I feel for anyone in the conception phase, it was utter agony for us, that lasted 12 years. Every single month, we did everything we could for months and years, all to no avail at all.
I would like to point out that spontaneous ovulation is responsible for 85% of pregnancies, and explains why trying just doesn't work.
Spontaneous ovulation occurs when you are being naughty with your partner. The surge of hormones causes and egg to suddenly be ripened and released when you don't even know about it, so it doesn't matter at all when you do it. Also, the hormone (is it cortisone) which results from stress and worry, adversley affects egg production and quality. So, statistically your best chance is having a few large drinks and some you know what.

These things are fine for people who have no medical problems. (for those that do, don't waste valuable time, get onto waiting lists) Also, don't forget to get your Foresight vitamin programme on the go, to boost fertility and prevent preggy loss.

OH dear, I'm going on again!

I know what you mean!!! The different twinges you feel in your body are incredible especially when ttc! I wanted to book a holiday for 1/2 term oct 2007 but I SHOULD BY BE PREGNANT THEN. Its always the same - everything is on hold.

Blessed
Well you must have plenty of patience if you have been trying for 2.5 years. I can't stand it when AF arrives every month and you have to wait another approx two weeks until you can even start trying again and then that wretched wait until you know one way or another. And during that time you start thinking every little twinge is one thing or another (either period coming or pregnancy!) when it is probably just a twinge!!! Last month I was certain I was pregnant so this time am really trying not to get hopes up. Hopefully will know this time next week. It's just frustrating as I don't really feel like making any plans for holidays etc - you just feel like your whole life is on hold. It would be easier if I knew I couldn't have another, but this probably isn't any reason why I can't. I am just ultra impatient!!!

Thanks mmk! clarq we conceived within 2 months of trying for our first one so we naturally assumed that when ds was about 18 months we would try another (sounds familiar). This ttc stage is lasting a long time! Sometimes I used to want the 'feeling' for another child to go away - but it hasnt.

MMK
I just read your earlier comments - don't feel silly being pregnant at 45, as 40 is the new 30 that's really not that old!! ;)

I decided to go for egg donation as I'm over 40 (well over 40!)
In Kiev, (best clinic in the world) total cost is I think now £2,300. (IVF is much less, but they are very honest about sucess rates after about 38)about half UK costs, and much, much higher sucess rates.
I started looking abroad because waiting lists and costs are so high in this country, and sucess rates are low. I first looked at the USA, but far too expensive. Then I spent hundreds of hours on the internet, searching international clinics. Interestingly, one of the top London clinics now send patients to the same clinic we went to, but they have to pay a lot more.
It is good that your consultant is honest, all too often people are given the idea that it will be fine. I know dozens of people who have been through 10 or more IVFs,then they turn to egg donation and get pregnant first time.
A lot of clinics here define sucess in their over 40 age group as a pregnancy, not actually in terms of live births. There is often quite a gap in the real figures.

It was good for us, because we wanted a child more than anything in the world. Some can't get their head around the idea, but those that do, have their dreams come true.

Hi
I am 38 and am also trying to concieve No2 - had my first (a daughter) when I had just turned 37, she is now 18 months. We did not have any problems conceiving her, but this time am on 4th month of trying and no luck yet. I don't know why but it just doesn't seem like it is going to happen this time. Silly really when i have not been trying too long! If it doesn't happen I will be happy with what we have (a fantastic, healthy and happy little girl) but I hate being in this limbo of ttc!!
My AF is due in just under a week - I'm sorry I don't know all the lingo but I used a home ovulation kit to make sure we got the dates right but I am still not too hopeful!

Congratulations!!! How great! What kind of treatment did you have? IVF? And, i hope you dont mind me asking, how much did it cost? Plus how did you know about treatments in different contries? The consultant at the clinic said, because of my age, there is only about 10-15% chance if we have treatment and he sounded very discouraging when he said it.

We tried for 12 years before going abroad for treatment. First we went to Spain, (not much good) then to Kiev (best treatment and clinic in the world!) Got pregnant at 43, and also on our last visit, 31 weeks ago!

After years and years of agony, frustration, stress, money, hassle, grief and sadness, we discovered that treatment in the UK is not as good as elsewhere!
We got different opinions from every UK place we went to, so in the end, we just decided to take matters into our own hands.

I feel a bit silly being pregnant at 45, and having a 2 1/2 year old! (but he is totally gorgeous)

What is fsh and lh?

I've been the fertility clinic at the womens hospital and have been checked. They said my left tube is blocked but since I've got one ds I decided not to have it unblocked. My eggs are fine. My dh did the sperm test and it was just below the average - but he hasnt persued that further! I think, until I joined Mumsnet I've been pretty ignorant of my body and different things to try. I had seen opks in the shop but they are too expensive! But now, for the very 1st time, im going to buy some of ebay which i wouldnt have done before!

Well, I am 38 and have been trying for 8 months, I am getting frustrated and scared at all the statistics as well but from reading on here how women 40-43 are getting prego I feel much more relieved. Have you had your fsh, lh, levels tested yet. Mine were in the 2-3 area which completely shocked my doctor because they were so low, by the sound of that I thought I'd be pregnant faster and here we are at month 8. I think you really have to get involved with getting to the doc and my dh wont do a sperm test, he doesn't want to know and wont get it done until it's been a year he says so in the meantime I am feeding him lots of vitamens and such just in case Look at he woman from desperate housewives having twins at 42, there is hope for us

Is this thread still running? I'm 40 and I had my first ds at 36. We've been trying for 2.5 yrs. We've been to the fertility clinic and apparently I have a blocked left tube and my dh low sperm count!!!! How we got our ds God only knows! Still I've dec'd to try opks. I haven't tried sooner since they cost so much.

If you concieved the first month of trying then that's hugely positive. Please don't believe everything you read in the Mail - I write for it so I know!

I got pregnant superfast at 40 (one attempt only, ladies and gentlemen!). And when the midwife asked how long I'd been trying, I said 'oh, about twenty minutes', and made her blush to her roots!

It is always possible to conceive quickly. It's quite normal in fact. If you have only been trying for a month that must have been a very early m/c indeed - surely around the time your period was due? Not sure why you think it is more difficult to conceive a second child than to conceive at all, I don't know of any studies that show this. In fact, they show the reverse. That you are more likely to conceive later in life if you have already had a child. Obviously if you have your first child at 38 and then want another three years later, then yes, you will probably be less fertile. Fertility does fall with age, but is hugely individual and the vast majority of 39 year olds who have already concieved will still be fertile. I'll bet you'll be here in the next few months announcing your pregnancy!

really, I think you need to stop worrying! You have proved you can have a baby by having no.1 and you've been trying for just ONE MONTH! And you seem to think you conceived already (why do you think you had a m/c btw?) And you are ONLY 39. Really, I honestly think you are getting yourself in a panic for no reason. FWIW I had my son at 38 and my dd at 41.

Hi, I am 40 and ttc no. 2. I was 35 with my first but have now been trying for a year. Really getting impatient with the whole process.

Just catching up, can I join in. Much as I hate to admit it I probably come under the older mum heading now I'm 37. We have a wonderful ds and have been trying for no.2 for over 3 years now.

I too often think that I need to remember me as a person not just a mother, but I cannot get away from the need to have another one and I know ds would be a wonderful brother.

I really try not to think about it but after so long knowing cycle dates becomes second nature so always aware of what could be going on in my body.

AF is due Monday or Tuesday, were are you guys at?