Thread 18 TTC#1 We have cats, courgettes AND cake

Thanks Alexia and yea, you guys are right. Its easy to say chill out, but much much harder to do. I guess its not really about trickery, so much as learning to re-wire our brains when they are obsessing about something. Its not easy, and takes time - and I'm nowhere near there yet - but I am trying. Jem sounds like you are doing all the right things, and even if it doesn't help you stress less about ttc at least it will help with job stress. I STUPIDLY came across the grads thread and had a peek (Miley just had her baby, old timey folk!) but it made me lose my zen completely - I don't recommend it.

I don't have much time but...

Jem I agree with the others that stress isn't good but to counter that I see SO many women get upduffed on FF who are charting, obsessing etc. One girl was having a breakdown about her temps and "being out" in her third cycle, she ended up pregnant that same cycle. Do what works for you and what makes you feel better about ttc. I've tried both ways and feel happier charting, doing opks etc.

Also if you want a quick sperm analysis look at Create Fertility online. It's only £99 which I think is pretty reasonable. That's where I'm sending DH soon.

for Hep and Skip. I know what you're going through. It sucks! xx

The stress thing might actually stress me out the most! I can't stop wanting this. My job is stressful and I'm naturally an anxious person. I'm trying to relax more and take control - doing acupuncture, swimming, yoga, breathing exercises... I've just signed up for a ceramics course! I'm not sure what else I can do.

I know what you mean about people saying fuck it and giving up but I just can't trick my mind or body into that. I can't stop wanting it to happen

Jem I second what FxSkip said above, but in my case replace the health/fitness with alcohol/no folic acid! I really do think it was my "f*uck it, I can't get pregnant so I don't care" attitude that finally did it!

SA does seem to take forever. When I had my first bloods about 3 months ago DH was booked in as well and the appointment is in 2 weeks time! We're debating keeping it, just in case something goes wrong with this one we are fully prepared for moving forward fully informed.

Hep getting dressed is a massive achievement, I'm still in my pj's! Go get an epic sandwich.

Stress is a huge factor. I've actually been seconded to a much less stressful role at work since January and I was really hoping this year was my year. My main worry is that soon I'm going back to my old stressful job where I have to work 10-11 hours a day, for less pay in an environment that is altogether quite unpleasant. It was really hard to enjoy DTD when you are freaking out about what the next day brings, deadlines, dealing with difficult clients etc. I'm getting worked up about it now just typing it.

Jem it will, but the sooner we resign ourselves to the uncontrollable nature of it the better. Think of all the BFPs we've had over the last few months year and most of them have been when the person was on holiday, ovulated later/early, wasn't trying, wasn't symptom spotting/thought they were out - basically not stressed about it. With the exception of potion-ers, the best solution appears to be to dtd whenever you want and shift your focus to health/fitness/whatever. I know its hard, and when it gets tough that's what we're here for. I found the link that someone posted on another thread really interesting www.annalsofepidemiology.org/article/S1047-2797%2816%2930240-X/pdf
basically stress hinders your chances!!

Alice I had bloods done at beginning of last cycle and results came back normal. She said come back at a year and we will take next steps. I told her I was at 10 months then - that was 26 July so she will think I'm a year at the beginning of October actually won't she? So maybe I will book in.

Did someone say sperm analysis takes ages on the NHS? I might look at getting it done privately. I'm worried DH's job might affect his sperm, and he is also rather partial to the booze.. Want to get anything amiss ruled out with him sooner rather than later.

jem

Cd 1, cycle 10
next AF due date is 13 October.

I've given up testing too skip - my mood has been far more stable this week as a result . Feeling quite calm about it this cycle, it's not a surprise. I just don't expect it to happen anymore.

fxskip ok, I wish you were upduffed too, but you are officially back on the metaphorical ttc horse. Really sorry to hear about your MIL . You are completely right about your comments r.e. everyone has shit to deal with.

GrumpyOldCat is fast asleep (and snoring). Unless its chicken, it won't wake him. Somehow chicken has a magic ability to make him 16 years younger (he is 18).

I have clothes on. I mean actual clothes for leaving the house. think i might take clothes to the drycleaners.....

Sk1pper don't feel bad, but its a good lesson in 'grass is always greener' or in this case 'life is always shitter'. I felt like my world had collapsed when I mc'd, and then my MIL was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Did it make what I had experienced any less painful? no. It is a lesson in finding things to be grateful for though. Nobodies experiences detract from anyone elses, and we only have control over our own pain and suffering.

Hep how are you getting on? Remember there is light at the end of this tunnel, just take each day/wobble as it comes - don't be hard on yourself. Hope you got a bad-ass sandwhich lined up and waved it in grumpycats face.

CD2 for me today - woohooo!! AF got me last night whilst visiting the fam at the hospital so I had to put a brave face on when I was secretly gutted I wasn't one of those upduffed-immediately-after-mc people. Today I am just relieved that I am (hopefully) going to stop bleeding eventually (some biblical 40 day bleed for me so far) and maybe even ovulate this month. FX. So...the average ticket for me (as determined by Ovia, Kindara, Clue and FF - don't judge me) is 10th Oct, but I am never testing again - I don't want to know.

How is everyone? sorry for massive post.

I think you're allowed to wobble on this one Hep :) I hope the week doesn't drag for you, it's cliche but keeping busy will stop you worrying about it so much. Though I thought symptom checking for AF was bad, this is a whole new level and I feel ashamed about my own personal worries compared to yours.

jem and for naughty AF. She's such a tease!

I guess we are similarly waiting for he spotting to turn into something else one way or another. Its another variant of the tww. Just get on with it will you

Thanks jem . just having a major wobble this morning and feeling sorry for myself.

Am gonna ring gynae after lunch to tell them I'm spotting. Hoping they won't cancel the surgery. I need that end date.

Hep the waiting must be awful. Get yourself a treat of your favourite sandwich ever to make up for naughty cat. Grill some fresh chicken breasts! With avocado and bacon in lovely soft bread and mayo for me

Kwick in my expert opinion that is a man with a moustache-beard wearing an eye mask 🤔

Still spotting feeling more crampy today so think AF must be imminent. I hate this new "ooh I'm going to spot first and wind you up because now you don't symptom spot as much so it's not as much fun when I come and break your heart into a million pieces"

The only baby photos I like on Facebook are from a friend who is 40 and has recently had the most beautiful daughter after 7 years and 4 ivfs, and from friends I went to school with.... I.e. same age as me! If they are still popping sprogs out....

Grumpyoldcat managed a sneak attack on the fridge this morning ( after finishing his breakfast). Guess i'll be having an egg sandwich today and not the last of the roast chicken...

Not sure if its just hunger, but feeling very achey around my lower tummy and hips....

Ffs, if I am gonna have main event before the surgery on Friday, can it just get on with it? Fucking stubborn dead bean.

Moose my OH saw a cheap cot when we were out shopping once and wanted to buy it 'for when we have a baby'. He didn't seem to get why I was so utterly against the idea, he just wanted the bargain.

Needless to say we didn't get it.

Obviously meant try to avoid*. I can't even type tonight Goodnight xx

Alice a much cheaper option would be charting BBT. If you see a clear, sustained temp shift it's highly likely you're O'ing.

Bluebird ugh, that's exactly why I try to Facebook

Yeah, I'm with Kwick getting your own scan is madness. There's a reason people are extensively trained to use them.

Although after an appalling day at work where a colleague "joked" that I was menopausal because I was too hot in a meeting, the certainty of ovulating is awfully tempting. .......

alice is there no where local you can get a scan?