40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

Thanks Letsdothis41. I'll keep you posted! I'm currently trying to polish a turd and think of all the ways in which a 4 week delay could be a good thing: Lose a few more pounds, do more exercise, get my head around the protocol, do more research, another month of supplements, I've waited this long, what's 4 more weeks, etc etc......

Hello all, fuzzy i have everything crossed for you and am following along with your news I hope AF stays away!
Ababs Fingers crossed for you too this month!

I now on Cycle 2 and Cycle day 13 and got a positive looking OPK this morning, not a strong line but definitely visible!

Thanks ababs. I'm not worried. I've given birth! And tbh I'd inject myself a thousand times a day over the emotional pain I've been in. It seems a lot of people who lose children don't register physical pain in the same way - I don't know if your threshold goes up or if it's just not registered as a big deal. Weird, but a lot of us seem to notice that. My biggest worry now is that I woke up this morning to the kind of AF cramps I get when I'm going to start that day. It would be crazy early, even earlier than my shortest cycle EVER, but it will mean I can't start the protocol until next month. I really hope it stays away for just one more day. I know 4 weeks isn't a big deal, but next month is the anniversary of losing my son, so I really hoped to avoid it clashing with that. I know I can't change what happens, but I REALLY hope my body doesn't let me down. STRESSED!!!

Massive congratulations furryminkymoo! We must be your lucky charm! H&H 9 months

Sooooo, spoke to the clinic today, and as long as AF doesn't decide to be a complete bitch by arriving tomorrow, I'm starting ivf this week. I'm booked for my injection teach on Thursday. They're putting me on a short protocol, so straight into ovarian stimulation. My AMH came back at 7.4, which I think is ok for an old bird. Yikes! It's actually happening!!!!

Pies, really sorry for your latest news and everyone else for your losses and BPN's.

This thread is such a positive support, I only joined recently and you are all lovely. Thank you.

I have a BFP, trying for 2.5 years. I think you lot helped.

I have had late periods then last month I had a big bleed on day 18, lasted 4- 5 days. I test when AF would have been due, then later and got BFN's but then if that Day 18 bleeding was the AF then I would have been due Friday. So I tested earlier and BFP.

Oops boo to decrepit eggs too

pies I'm sorry - have a big virtual hug

Boo to everyone who has af - yay to positive IVF meetings

I'm on cd 6 and not sure I should be keeping along this path. I just don't 'feel' it's ever going to happen for me. Perfect timing and dtd during the entire fertile phase makes no difference even when my body does bother to ovulate...

I'm on CD22 (7dpo) as well Jibberoo, and feeling about as pregnant as a geriatric nun. It was our last shot before ivf, but it obviously wasn't meant to be. We're in the north west of England so we went to Care in Manchester. We went there based on our own homework but also 3 personal recommendations. One of those friends went to Care Nottingham, but it's the same company with the same clinical directorate, so the expertise will be comparable. We went to an information night before we made a final decision, which is free, so you can shop around if you like. I'd recommend it, not least because knowing the route and being about to visualise the clinic takes away some of the anxiety on consultation day.

I have to say I've been feeling pretty lousy since the consultation. The combination of being told my decrepit eggs caused the miscarriages, lots of talk about my advanced age, and the fact that DH produced his sample while staring at a big boobed woman half my age, has all seriously dented my self-esteem. I've been told enough times that it's an emotional rollercoaster, but I stupidly thought after everything we've been through that nothing much could bother me. Turns out, I'm a big mard-arse (as they say around here) after all!

Pies so sorry. Sending you big hugs.

Abs, sorry for you too, let's all pray for next month.

Fuzzy, your consultant sounds brilliant. Which region are you in? Starting to realise that ivf might be our only option even though I'm hesitant to do it. Will try one more cycle naturally and the look to book an initial consultation to find out more.

I'm on cd22 but know there's virtually no chance this month. At least I won't be crushed when af shows up.

Sorry Pies, cross posted! Yes, he said 50% is as good as donor eggs, so he was happy to go for it. We were very relieved. Donor eggs would be ok and we're prepared if we need them, but obviously we'd love our little boy's biological sibling if at all possible.

That was my feeling too, Pies. I asked them how long it could take after the bleeding got heavy, and they said it could still be weeks. As well as being really intrusive, it was just so upsetting to see, and a constant reminder of my loss. Also I knew that going through a mini labour would be hard given my past trauma, which I'm 100% prepared to go through for a baby, but not a mc. I was surprised to see that the pregnancy wasn't even close to passing despite the blood loss. My period after the d&c was very light, which I guess is why they advise to wait a month to let the lining thicken up again, but it arrived 33 days after the op. I felt like everything got back to normal really quickly.

Over 50% odds of success sounds really positive, MrFuzzy. I know what you mean about wanting to know what is going on with your body.

Thanks for the kind thoughts, ababs and fuzzy. I'm taking it easy right now. I'm about 8 1/2 weeks, so I know I will likely need some sort of intervention. If I need that, I would go for d&c. I think the emotional side of a long drawn out process would be very hard to take. Also, I think you need to wait to ttc after the medical management and time's ticking. Getting right back to it helped last time and I think it would this time, too.

ababs I'm with you on the d&c. I got to 9 weeks with no sign of it happening naturally. The odds of anything happening to affect future fertility are rarer than the mc not completing & meds not working. Plus I didn't think I'd cope emotionally with it. My scan yesterday showed that my womb is fine, so no damage was done - I had mine 3 months ago.

The consultant yesterday was very frank about our chances, both naturally & with ivf. With the combo that he recommended, the percentage goes up to 52%, but he said we are only going to be in the window of opportunity for that up to me reaching 43. After that, he said donor eggs really are the way to go to get the same kind of percentage. He said that a previous live birth is a very good predictor of ivf success, as it proves that my body knows what to do with a good embryo. All of that said, the odds at 43+ are NOT zero. Just less than the optimum window. We paid £1050 for yesterday's consultation including all of the tests, which are incredibly thorough. I think even if we hadn't decided to proceed with ivf, it would still have been worth it, for knowing exactly what our natural fertility is showing. It's either that or keep stabbing in the dark (no pun intended) every month with no idea what's going on in our bodies. Worth it, in my opinion, but I'm one of those people who likes facts and hates uncertainty.

Oh Pies, that's so sad. I'm so sorry. I won't say 'I know how you feel' because no one really knows how anyone else feels, but I've been in your situation. I bled heavily for several days but my duff pregnancy was still going strong after scan #4, so I opted for a D&C. It really wasn't anything to worry about, and it was actually a relief to get it over with. Totally painless in my experience, physically, and emotionally preferable for me personally. Either way, it's an utterly shit state of affairs, and I'm so sorry that it's happened to you. Sending you my thoughts and understanding.

I'm sorry to report that it looks like I'll be rejoining you all. I went into the epu on Tuesday for some bleeding that started with spotting on Sunday. The doctor said that my cervix was closed and booked a scan for yesterday. The scan showed that the sac was too small for my dates, but there was a fetal pole. I have to go back next Thursday to be scanned again. The midwife said that it was big enough that we 'had to give this pregnancy every chance.' I of course spent quite a while afterward googling, and remembering that the hcg rose really slowly at the beginning, etc. But I've had lots of bad cramping and really heavy bleeding since then, so I think I have accepted that this pregnancy is over and my best outcome now is probably to hope that next week's scan shows that the natural miscarriage is complete and I don't need a d&c. Sigh. I'm trying to give myself a pep talk about a bfp being a good sign, etc.

That sounds like good news (in the context of needing an ivf consult at all, of course) Fuzzy. I hope having a plan is encouraging.