TTC after late miscarriage, neonatal death, or stillbirth?

Hi again,

Our DS was born very prematurely at 23 weeks 5 days last july. We have been ttc for 6 months now. I've lost count of how many times I have poas! Good job we have ICs really.

I had counselling for 10 weeks two months after DS died and it definitely helped me. We had no reason for my early labour so the prospect of another pregnancy is so scary.

Hopefully we can all support one another through ttc and pregnancy.

So sorry for all those who have also suffered this awful loss.

I found sands (google them) so so helpful in the early days. The clear blue monitor did drive me a bit insane as I became obsessed with or, however like someone said it does help with "knowing" more accurately when your fertile days

again I think your doing the right thing. We made an unofficial complaint just with a head midwife as we just wanted the team there educated and to no what happened to make sure no one else went through it, and the lady made loads of promises about justice and then we never heard from her again, like she just walked out of the door that day and forgot about us. So now we have to make a formal complaint for our daughter, and also about how the initial complaint was dealt with, I dread to think how many families could have gone through the same thing but not had the strength or support to get justice

again it was the same for us, she had to have a name, be registered and have a funeral which we found very helpful to be honest, everybody is too afraid to mention our daughter at all so it's nice that her existence in the world has been recorded and the 'system' still treated her like a person.

Are you planning to complain about your care OP? Our daughters death could have been prevented too, although it sounds like it was a different situation to yours. How long ago did you loose your baby?

Morning ladies

Ah the rage, I know it well. I have a 4 yr old DS so have to do the school run, go to the playground, the soft play etc and listen to people talk about how exhausted they are, how they are so fed up at being up in the night, someone even told me I was lucky to have only one and not have to run around so much. I didn't tell her how 'lucky' I am.

I did 5 days of labour to bring William into the world all 9lb 4oz of him and he was perfect.

The one thing it has shown me talking to women like you ladies is that women are incredible and can survive the most horrendous of traumas and strength is something to be celebrated.

My experience has cost me friendships because I cannot deal with others peoples shit and others because they cannot handle what's happened to us and avoid talking to me.

Anyway.....and breathe....

Like others have said another baby will not replace William but we need somewhere to put the love we have for him, we need something to help heal our hearts and a sibling for our son would help with that I think.

My cycles have been all over the place so I'm hoping they will stabilise soon. I've actually bought a clear blue ovulation kit just to check I'm ovulating. I figure this is going to send me round the twist so I might as well be armed with a bit of knowledge about my cycle.

I'm so sorry to hear of all our losses, it's so terrible that babies die and that we get left behind to deal with the aftermath

Sorry to see so many sad stories on here, my DD was stillborn at 35 weeks just over 3 months ago. We decided to TTC straight away but no luck just yet, I flit between being desperate for another baby and terrified of having to go through it all again, were very lucky we also have a DS who's almost 2 though

Fetal hydrops not feral (bloody predictive text)!

Hi Again
I went for my 20 wk scan and they found he had feral hydrops, I had to wait 2 weeks after scans to give birth. I totally understand when you talk about problems that seem so small compared to having to go through labour and then a funeral. Unfortunately I was in labour for 3 days and it was horrific.

Everyone seemed to get pregnant soon after I lost my son and I found it very hard not to be bitter.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be pregnant again but of course it not to replace, I just felt getting pregnant was the only thing that would help to heal me.

I started trying again after my first normal period, it took a few months to return, but I was so stressed I think it stopped me falling.

Unless you've been through it people just don't understand, it takes a long time to heal, but the fact you can get pregnant is a very positive sign. Try as soon as you want, there are no rules

Our first daughter was stillborn at 32 weeks, she had trisomy 13 and we always knew that stillbirth was the most likely outcome. It was horrific. We had ttc her for almost 5 years and we're desperate to be parents so ttc again literally as soon as we could. I got pregnant in the first month and the baby is due in 3 weeks. It'd tough. This baby does not and will never replace our first. He or she doesn't mean we don't miss our daughter every day and wish that she was here. But - we also want to be parents and this pregnancy has eased that longing. Fear and worry in this pregnancy have been high and are getting more so the closer we get but we have been medically well looked after

Sorry for your loss, I lost my baby boy at 22 weeks and then had a mmc six months later, I tried everything to get pregnant as soon as I could, I actually became obsessed with ttc.

I tried the clear blue fertility monitor but it made me a manic, in the end I fell again 18 months after my last mmc. It's very stressful when you've suffered loss. I have 2 dd now aged 4 and 11 months, both of them conceived on holiday!

Even when I finally did get pregnant I spent the whole 9 months stressed.

Hi againplease

I'm so sorry you lost your son. I lost my DS2 to stillbirth the day before my ELCS at 39 weeks 5 months ago and my DH and I have decided to try and get pregnant again. I'm utterly terrified so happy to chat and share if you want to.

We did try on my last cycle and due to stress my period decided to show up a week late just to taunt me. Am desperately trying to keep calm about it all but doubt that will happen.

Hello... So sorry for your loss I'm sure someone with a sadly similar experience will be by soon. I'm not in the same boat as my miscarriages have been earlier but can relate to the feeling of wanting to reach out here. I've found it invaluable and i hope you will too. Best wishes xx