TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Alb don't apologies for long posts. We are hear to listen. That is so very sad. You sound incredibly strong. I can't imagine being as calm as you sound...

Pink, welcome. Hope it's a sticky bean for you. Have you been TTC for a while? I had a mmc in January (discovered at 12 weeks and was approx 9 weeks when it stopped growing). I was lucky enough to fall preg again fairly quickly but unfortunately going through second miscarriage at 6 weeks. The bleeding seems to be easing up now and we will continue to TTC. I'm on track for promotion in January and the cycle I fell preg, I was considering putting TTC on hold for a few months so I could announce after promotions. But then I realised I was preg and was cautiously excited and couldn't give a toss about work. I am going to leave it in natures hands again though and not put TTC on hold. See what happens..

Hi girls really sorry to hear about your losses I really do feel your pain! But please dont give up your dreams will come true and you will all will be blessed with your rainbow babies.

I had a silent miscarriage about a year ago i found out at my first 12 week scan baby stopped growing at 6 weeks we were absolutely devastated dreams were shattered, it took me a while to get over it fully you never forget but the hurt gets easier as time goes on!
What kept me going was the fact I had my little girl to look after I suppose that made it a lot easier, ive just got a bfp a year after my miscarriage and ive got to say it's not easy the emotions are so whelming terrified the same thing is going to happen again:(

Im just trying to take each day as it comes went to scan last week to find out im only about 4 weeks pregnant and nothing can be seen but a 3mm sac I just don't feel lucky enough to pregnant again I don't know where it's going to go but what ever does im totally prepared for it good or bad ,it's so hard to he excited right now I feel like if I am tempting fate, I really hope you all find the happiness you want and you all get BFPs soon and can join me on this rollercoaster of highs and lows , sending you all the love and luck xxxxx

kate and cheeky I'm so sorry to see your both currently going through miscarriages, it's such an awful time

cheeky I went to a routine midwife appointment and the heartrate was 340 so I got sent straight to hospital were we discovered she was in severe heart failure and had hydrops and I had a lot of excess fluid as a result, they tried to save her by giving me medication but we were too late and she died the next day. If we'd have found out a few weeks or possibly even days earlier she'd have been fine. My bump was huge and so sore, everyone commented on it but it never occurred to me something might be wrong, and I reported a change in movement to the midwife a few weeks before and they told me it was normal, they were so wrong. Iv not found anyone else that's had the same thing happen to them tho, it's incredibly rare and very unlikely to happen again thankfully.

Thank you all for being so welcoming. And sorry again for my long post, I get carried away on here cos I don't get to mention it in real life, know one nos what to say so they've all vanished apart from 1 or 2 people. I promise all my posts won't be this long

Sorry everyone, I think bring preggo again has made me a bit sweary .

Cheeky post away, we've all been through that bag of w@nk. It's probably good to share with ladies who aren't all at the coalface of mc, and be reminded of the light at the end of tunnel.

Cheeky I'm glad you post. We have to be here for each other.

I'm on the pregnancy after mc thread. It's quite quiet and there are a few people from this thread so it feels familiar.

So sorry to hear alb1. Still birth is my worst nightmare. Did you know anything was wrong if you don't mind me asking? Good for you trying to look forward again. Also in awe. You never forget or replace xx

No dont mind at all, but I'm not sure if people mind me posting during my miscarriage as well, I'm quite negative at the mo! Promise I'll try to be more positive.

Hi Whatser, I'm scared of every twinge too and not ready for any of the pregnancy boards. I think I'll lurk here until my first scan at the end of June, hope you guys don't mind.

So sorry, Kate and for all those struggling. Hope nobody minds me still posting here. I'm struggling atm. So scared of every twinge.

Alb welcome to the thread, these ladies will take great care of you. I'm so sorry for your loss and am in awe of your strength to get back to ttc.

Thanks Jpeg, I'd like to say all the bd-ing done this cycle was magical and special like in the movies but after over 2 years of ttc and several MCs, doing the act is the most important thing, how romantic, eh?

Oh Kate, sorry you're going through this. Feel free to cry and throw things, even scream if you need to (unless you have paper thin walls). Just do whatever gets you through the day right now. I don't know if this is relevant to your situation but we were going to go to the implantation clinic at Coventry next cycle to take part in a NHS research project looking at the womb lining and the part it could play in early miscarriage. Sorry if it's not relevant but I found planning things helped a bit with my mc.

The brown spotting is continuing, hopefully it's nothing but it's really taking the shine off my bfp.

Oh hopeful. I echo jpegs message. That's so very sad and frustrating. I hope it doesn't drag on for you and now that you know for sure, you can begin to deal with it properly. Being in limbo was very hard as well. Take it easy and spoil yourself.

We were invited to a wedding this evening but really didn't feel up to going. Have sent DH on his own now. It's his friends brothers. I just could not be bothered with putting a smiley face on, let alone getting ready. He wanted me to go but I just couldn't face it. I said a couple of horrible things to him. I know I'm hurting and taking it out on him isn't helping but what can I do. I was up this morning when the cleaner came but literally been sleeping since 11am. Body really needed it. So I'm just going to continue to stay in bed (might get up and have a shower though) and order a takeaway. The story of my life at the moment.

Oh kate I'm so sorry... I had everything crossed for you and really hoped for a positive ending. I hope the MC happens as quick as it possibly can and I hope you are well looked after. Throwing shampoo bottles sounds like a good start to get all the anger and upset out. It's so important that we don't keep it all in. I'll be thinking of you, get lots of rest and don't work if you need to be at home, recover for as long as you need.

Welcome Alb1 I echo jpeg I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't want to bring you down when you have only just arrived Al cos this is normally a very positive thread (!) but I had my worst fears confirmed today.

My HCG is going down (I knew it was this morning as my tummy was suddenly flatter), and so a MC is imminent. I am trying to see the positives - we were only 6 weeks and we knew from the start it was doomed - but it is incredibly incredibly painful.

I am so glad I have the bank holiday to recover before work again. I am angry beyond words and feel so cheated and frightened about what is round the corner. But the crying and throwing shampoo bottles at the wall doesn't seem to be helping so I need to find some strength from somewhere.

I am hoping that I will start bleeding in the next few days and so I should be done by next weekend, but who knows if that will happen. All I know is that if we do try again, the no OPKs and sex every day method seemed to help so I am hoping that may work again. I am not sure if I even want to try again. I think my eggs may be done tbh. My consultant won't say that but I think they are. But while i am still ovulating it feels stupid to not try. BUT then is there more heartache in store as those pregnancies would never be viable.

God knows. But thanks for all your support and kindness over the past few weeks of this nightmare. When I rejoin you I will be positive and strong again. I promise.

Happy bank holiday all xxx

Welcome Alb1 and I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I don't really know what to say, what a truly awful experience you have had an what a strong person you are for picking yourself up and trying again.

Just treated myself to a pre holiday pedicure and bikini wax [ouch!] af has ever so slowly started to show her face, slight bit of spotting, just in time for holiday! Feeling better after my cry this morning, more dtd this month, boyfriend said he is up for every other day [of course he is] it's me that will struggle that much but needs must

Also... Congrats mimi

Hiya, just wondering if I can join you? I probably won't post much to start with as we arnt actively TTC this month, but arnt preventing either, but iv been doing abit of lurking this last few days so wanted to introduce myself.

We had a MMC around 8-9weeks in 2013, then a lovely DS in 2014 who is now 20 months, and then my daughter was stillborn a month ago at 35 weeks. We want to try again as soon as possible, obviously not to replace our baby, we just feel we want to get started sooner rather than later. Only just stopped bleeding from after birth this last few days, and I'm not sure I'm ready to DTD yet (had stitches) so we're expecting it to take a few cycles at the very least.

I found these threads really useful when TTC and pregnant with DS having ladies to talk to that understand the worries, but didn't use them as much with DD as I felt more confident but now I'm back to square one with all the worry about what will happen sorry for the very long first post!
It's lovely to see some BFPs here too, congratulations mimi

IC sorry you're feeling like this.... It's so so hard isn't it. I have been in tears this morning and then I think why am I crying when there are so many people out there worse off than me. We will get our BFPs eventually but I know how unfair it is that people get pregnant when they don't want or deserve to! Make sure you do go on that weekend away and try to have a lovely relaxing time!!!

I'm so pleased for you mimi!

Aw insufficiently it's so difficult isn't it. I know it doesn't help
But I try and think of people in worse situations to me. I know someone who didn't conceive for 9 years and there were no issues identified so she just waited and waited and now they have a beautiful baby. She had so much strength. I saw a guy crossing the road yesterday, clearly had something wrong with his legs and it made me feel so sad, some people are born with conditions that make it impossible to have a family. They never go through this up and down roller coaster but they cant even dream. Ordered a takeaway the other day and the guy didn't have a hand. It was so difficult for him to open the delivery bag so as soon as I realised I quickly stepped in and he was so grateful. I was sobbing after I closed the door. Especially when DH said the guy was probably just grateful to have a job, albeit a delivery driver.

Not sure if that helps but it's these kinds of things that help me put it into perspective.

IC sorry your having a tough time , I know the frustration of how easy ttc comes to some people. Hope you manage to enjoy your weekend away (I'm sure it'll be more fun than staying in bed).

Kate the uncertainty of early pregnancy is the worst, I'm here for hand holding.

Bertie thanks for the offer of hand holding, I think I may need a lot more over the next two months!

So I took another test this morning with fmu and a stop watch so I could be sure it wasn't an evap line. And I got a BFP! I would like to say I'm over the moon and all that but this is my 4th pregnancy in 2 years, so I'm cautious to say the least.

Thanks jpeg, have a great time in Italy, I could murder a holiday right now..just difficult to get away with mil in hospital. Sorry you think AF is on her way!