TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Morning all and welcome cuckoo, so sorry for your losses.

Cd5 here af had almost stopped. Feeling a bit disheartened this cycle, like I really can't be bothered to keep this up anymore. This is my 3rd cycle since mc and I keep thinking to myself that I should be happy with what I already have and just stop trying altogether. So we've decided to just dtd when ever, thrown out all of my opk's given the fertility monitor back to my friend and if it happens, it happens. I'm going to carry on temping and recording my af with fertility friend but that's it.
It'll probably take ages for us to get pregnant but I don't really care at the minute because I've got this overwhelming sense of dread at the thought of being pregnant again right now. I've made an appointment to see my therapist and my gp has taken bloods etc for a full mot last week, hopefully I'll get the results from that in the next few days.

I'm sure we'll all be pregnant and have our babies in our arms at some point in the near future though, but for now I'm going to just lurk here if that's ok?

Hi cuckoo and sorry for you losses. I can't give you any advice myself but as everyone has said I'm sure someone will be able to! Good luck with your appt xx

Hi cuckoo Sorry you are here. I don't have any advice I'm afraid either. I wonder whether they may do blood tests to check your FSH levels or AMH levels? That will give them an idea about what type of help if any you may need. I'd just keep trying if I was you. My consultant says every egg matters so it's important to try and catch every one! You have to look after your happiness though obviously and do what feels right. Could you push for an earlier appointment?

Hello cuckoo and welcome. Can't offer any advice myself but i am sure someone will know more than me. I love mumsnet for a place to vent and get all your obsessing out!

Hi all, been lurking with intent for a while but think it's time to say hello! Must say I've really appreciated and admired the positive advice and lovely, supportive vibes from this thread. Have a brill DD who's nearly 2 and been trying for another since Nov last year. Had two m/c since Jan, seems thankfully I can still get pregnant easily enough but lost both earlyish at 6.2 ish. Now been referred to consultant as older at 42 nearly 43. Wondered if anyone might know what to expect at first appt? GP was great but on phone so didn't really have time to talk and I was just in pieces anyway. Appt not til early June so might just carry on trying but wondering if a break is what body needs... We'll see... Hope everyone had a good bank hol anyway xx

Oh god, fairygodmother I had no idea that you had been through all of that from your previous post. I am so so very sorry for your losses. That must have been so very difficult. I am incredibly sorry. I hope you get an appointment soon and the cremation goes as smoothly and as peacefully as possible. How sad. But you sound like an amazingly strong woman. I am glad you found us. Sending you lots of thoughts. xx

Hi all, thank you for your advice and appreciate the warm welcome.

Jpeg Not officially TTC but not preventing either as I have PCOS and the only way I've got PG (and lost 4 times) is through help. Clomid & IVF.
Brenna I was thinking implantation/ovulation as the bleeding is non-existent today but I feel 'periody'. When I use OPKs it shows ovulation about day 20.
Kate I was induced and had 14 hour labour. Midwife said a few weeks ago that my uterus felt back down to normal size but could again be a bit dislodged although it was more red/pink so newer blood I would have thought I am supposed to get a 6 week check but no-one has told me whether this will be booked by midwives or GP. I asked for a scan as that's what happened with an early MC but was told that it should happen alongside the check We will see a consultant when we get post mortem results. I am asking my midwife tomorrow about the cremation date so will also ask about the 6 week check and this weird bleed/spot and the fact that I feel like I am coming on but not.
Mr I have a bereavement midwife that I can contact.

Ooh great. Thanks! OPKs? Xx

Hi all, just thought I would let you know... Nipped into my local tesco today and clear blue digital were £2.36!!!

We're doing every other day right thru the month at the moment, but when i get back on track and can spot ov we'll do every day and maybe twice on ov day . All i can do this month is watch out for ewcm. None so far but it's clear and slippery which is consistent with pre ov so i'm just sitting tight atm.

I am not being v healthy atm. Was determined to shift a stone when i mc, to try and get myself in top shape for pregnancy. Unfortunately we seem to have been doing a lot of socialising and subsequently drinking and eating out. I have started exercising twice per week again but need to step this up now i've stopped bleeding.

Must try harder!

I know it's easy to say ladies but the best thing is to try and relax about it all.

Afternoon everyone... I am avoiding coffee now which is so hard. But stupidly had some Diet Coke today which obviously has caffeine in! I'm such an idiot. I really need to try harder with my diet, feel like since the MC I have put on so much weight and let myself go a little!
Maybe I should start dtd every day?!

Hopeful - yes! I felt in control and informed with my mc and although it was upsetting I don't feel traumatised by it. Sorry to everyone who's had bad experience with HCPs :(

I would not worry about hot chocolate. I think chocolate only has small amounts anyway and it's only a small amount of chocolate in HC as well.

Apparently DTD every day is okay unless you've been told your partner has low sperm count, then it's worth waiting for them to build up.

I'm going for everyday for the next few cycles, when it's possible but the two times I conceived we did it every other day, just three times. So who knows?!

I've got a question! Should I avoid hot chocolate as a caffeine source? I drink lots of the highlights stuff.

Hi Fairy

I am sorry for your loss. Did you have surgery or was it a natural MC? It could just be your uterus contracting back to size, and as it does that, it expels any leftover blood? When is your next appointment at the GP or hospital? You could ask for a scan maybe to see what is happening?

My biggest lesson from both my miscarriages is that they are considerably less emotionally painful and distressing if you are given information and feel in control of the process. It was only when I saw my consultant and had a scan, two long months after my surgery for my second MC, that I started to heal emotionally - as finally someone was able to explain what was happening and why.

Before then I was given conflicting advice and batted away by the EPU which left me confused and fearing for the future. I am not blaming then at all, as I know they are v busy and under-staffed, but being given information and then being able to make decisions based on that information has proven invaluable for me.... So what I am saying is, push for a scan or an appointment if you don't have one already as that may help the physical and emotional side.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I bled during ovulation the first cycle after my miscarriage. So it could be that, or it could be a fairly early period.

Hi Fairy and sorry for your loss. When I had my MC I had a break in my bleeding and then it started again, although it was a few days not 11. Have you started TTC again? Could it be implantation?

Hi,
Not sure where to post so here goes - I had a late miscarriage just over 3 weeks ago. I bled for about 12 days. Yesterday (23 days after mc) I had some light bleeding onto a liner but nothing when I wipe. This morning I woke to some period pain but still nothing. I am thinking it's still quite early for my period but who knows.
Can anyone give advice?

Hi Kate. Yes, it is the same hospital, so I just need to nip over the concourse. Which is nice and handy. Your day sounds lovely.

It won't matter if you leak some as long as some stays in.

Thanks all - I'm ok. I now need a GP appointment to interpret the scan (the sonographer didn't know for sure and didn't want to give inaccurate info) I guess it'll be a gynae referal. Can't get GP appointmemt till mid May. I could try for an urgent but tbh I wonder whether time might be a good thing in this case. I'm happy to wait the two weeks (I know a different type off ttw than I would like

Haha - laughed at 'poor knackered boyfriend' good luck with the ttw kate!

Mrsunsure - from what I've read it doesn't matter so much. Sperm are very effective at swimming upstream so the legs in the air thing isn't essential. Having said that if I can, I'll lie still for a while after dtd, but don't worry if I don't have the time. A quickie with spillage is better than nothing I'd say!