TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Good luck... You never know! Sounds like you have a good plan if not so that's good. Hope your consultant can get things moving quickly for you.

Thank god you are in teaching with strong unions! They should be scared. It's not only illegal it's awful management!! Let me know what happens? Bloody hell...

I will test on Tuesday I think as them I'll be 11/12dpo and it should show up on a FRER. If I was a betting woman though I'd put money on the fact I'm out. Tonight I'm going to email my consultant for an appt to get the ball rolling on alternatives. Xx

I think lots of CM is a good sign Kate? Not 100% sure though. When will you be testing?

I'm a teacher and had taken extra responsibility for a year which I was assured would continue if I was doing a good job, which I was! Then I come back after a week off for the MC and on the Thursday the advert went up without anyone even talking to me. Unions say I have a good case but because I still want to work there I'm not going to bring a case against them, they say they are now discussing the possibility of a different job for me on the same money... They are scared!!

I can't believe that Jpeg about your work! That's shocking!! What area do you work in? I really hope you sort that out!!!

Remember when I said I was gonna avoid symptom spotting.... Well, scrap that, does anyone have any advice on what CM should look like if you have conceived? After ovulation mine went creamy and then sometimes cottage cheesy (gross, sorry!!) for a week. And now, which is 8 or 9dpo it's gone more watery, still creamy but not as much and just v damp and watery. Does this suggest that my estrogen levels are rising and therefore AF is on its way? I'm due on Friday so 5 days away from my fate basically. Anyone got an insight?! The last two times I fell pregnant I wasn't clued up about CM etc so have no idea. All I can say is that I've had more creamy Cm this cycle than any of the previous three but it's concerned me that it's gone watery. Boobs are big but not sore, get v tired but I do with my period, bloated but do with my period. CONFUSED. Xx

I agree with what every one has said about work... After my MC part of my job was advertised without asking me. They clearly did it because they thought I was going to get pregnant and leave them in the lurch. Had to get unions involved etc and still don't know the outcome but they cannot discriminate against us for wanting a family!

The sun is amazing today! I'm currently reading in the sunshine while my Bf and his brother put our new bbq together! My temps have been pretty much the same for 4 days... Hoping for a late dip... Or thinking this month is a write off!!

Ah makes sense Amy. I need to chill out. I'm only 26 yet. The purpose of applying for a new job would be to try get my current employer to salary match. I don't think I would actually want to move really. Trying to keep options open though.

Hi all hope you're all ok...

Brenna thinking of you

I agree with what everyone is saying about careers and babies. When I fell pregnant with dd1 I was in the middle of studying for my degree. I had also started a part time placement. I had to tell everyone as soon as I found out for health and safety reasons as my job can be risky at times. I took 6 months out and went back part time and continued with my studies. I qualified when I was 4 months pregnant with dd2 and started a new job which I left when I had dd2. I started this job when my youngest was 2 1/2 and went in guns blazing full time and got a promotion then dropped my hours from 42 to 30. I was reading about maternity pay, I'm sure you have to be in your job for 26 weeks before you qualify for maternity pay if it's a new position and they're not allowed to discriminate against you if you're going for promotion and are pregnant, they also cannot take that position off you if you fall pregnant after. I found getting in touch with a union a big help with information also CAB are great if you're not part of a union.
I'm in a dilemma also as the maternity package where I am at the minute isn't great. 6 months full pay then nothing, I know though if I ask my manager she will pay me half pay for 12 months so I can spend time at home with a new baby.

I had a massive temp dip this morning which I was expecting with this beaut weather. Have a lot of cm, dtd last night don't think it's DH's I think it's mine (different colour to sperm). I'm only cd10, according to FF I ov'd on cd13 last cycle. Will see what my temps do in the next few days but I am wishing I had just one opk to check the strength of the lines! Determined not to buy any more

I'm glad your DH is board hopeful, it helps to be on the same page. Wishing you all the best of luck with everything.

Thanks for your inputs Mrs and hopeful. I'm glad I'm not going mad!

Don't feel like I can talk to DH at the moment. It's not him, it's me. Since our tiff a few weeks ago (when I had a rant about his family), things haven't been the same. I just cannot be bothered with him at the moment. Enjoying the space I'm having to myself and the clear headspace.

Thanks Mrs... Yes I've got low AMH - before we started TTC they said we'd find it impossible to conceive naturally but we did twice very quickly. However although my own doctor has never said this directly, I've read that AMH can also increase the risk of MC too so I guess that's why I've miscarried.

I have just lost faith in my own body tbh. The thought of keeping going month after month and not getting anywhere except getting older... Or worse getting pg then miscarrying is too much to bear. I want to take proactive steps and take control. If IVF is a way to do that then great...

How are you? How is everyone else today? Have you all got the sunshine?! Xx

Thanks so much ladies. Still don't believe it and am caught between thinking positively and risking a broken heart again, or being cynical and expecting the worst. Decided yesterday to go for the former. Gulp.

Good advice from Lucky, good luck Cheeky.

Masses of good luck to you all ladies, I think you're all fabulous xx

Thinking of you Brenna

DH is on board. We will have to take out a loan but that's ok. It would be worth it. I'm going to book an appointment with my consultant for next week and talk it through. At least it gives me something to focus on rather than obsessing about my current symptoms or lack of.

I think that sounds like a great plan. I agree that you shouldn't put life on hold or stop your career for wanting a baby - it makes me so mad that we have to make so many sacrifices for wanting a family. There are laws around discrimination, and your employer cannot renege on a job offer if they discover you are pregnant. It's illegal. The bigger thing to consider is how the increased workload at your current place will effect your body and conception chances. Also a payrise or at least knowing you are being paid fairly will do wonders for your happiness and stress levels. These things have a habit of eating away at you I find...so working on your CV and talking to other people is a great idea I think.

The sun is gorgeous today!! I've also hatched a new plan. I've decided that if we don't get pg this cycle I'm going to talk to my consultant about IVF because I have this strong sense that my eggs as they are just aren't up for getting pregnant and I may need some help. I'm going to talk to my DH about it this morning xx

Thanks for the replies ladies, I do feel like I'm being pulled in different directions at the moment.

If I was to fall pregnant next month (AF is due tomorrow and I'm out this month) then I would be due in around Feb time. They announce promotions at the end of Jan. I would still get maternity pay as I'm in a permanent job. Although we would manage financially we wouldn't be able to save really. It's a few issues at hand here - a) I know my salary is lower than market rate and that's increasingly getting on my nerves now as I know people less experienced are being paid more b) lots of work coming our way and I know they need me and they will totally over work me albeit with the view that I will be promoted come Jan c) could be put at risk by announcing pregnancy before Jan (I don't think I could hide it beyond 4 months although legally I don't think you need to tell them until later) and salary increase with promotion probably still won't bring me into line with market rate.

So my plan is to work on my cv, get it to some agencies, look for jobs and apply. If I get an offer somewhere then hopefully I can get my current employer to match it (which I think they will now that they really need me (not because I'm special, but because I'm more experienced). That would be the best outcome overall as I do enjoy my work, it's just the salary thing that's annoying, more out of principle than me being grabby.

cheeky sounds like you're in a tough position with emotional pulls in different directions. I can relate to where you're coming from. My take is the one definite is that life won't stand still while we TTC and opportunities will come up. I'm trying to live my life in a way I'll be doing what's right for me based on the info I had when deciding. I can't be sure just now when I'll fall again, or how many times I'll fall before I get a tenacious bean to hang on in there, or whether or not I'll need medical help to make that happen. So I'm still going about work as if I'm not TTC, it helps me to have something constructive to focus on that I can influence, since I can't control TTC outcomes. If you did fall before jan, what would happen with work, would you still be ok for mat pay? When would you need to tell them under company policy? Even if you are preg then but not too many months in might you be able to have the promotion without disclosing pregnancy?

Morning everyone...

Cheeky it sounds great that you have something to focus on and you sound really motivated! I'm in the same situation in terms of job and I've decided to just keep going with the work promotion etc as if I do get pregnant that will have to come first, and if I don't I won't want to regret not going forward at work. It's a hard decision though.

I've decided I hate OPKs! I have now had almost a week of flashing smileys on clearblue and have also used the cheap ones and haven't got a positive once. The lines never seem to get darker. I'm going to stop using them! Pretty sure this month is one where I haven't ovulated. It's cd17 and I used to ovulate around cd12. Now I guess it's a waiting game.

Least the sun is shining

Just catching up. So sorry Brenna :( mine is fast approaching too and before I was desperate to get pregnant before that but now I just feel a sadness full stop. Especially seeing my two very close friends yesterday for the first time - one was due two weeks before me and the other two weeks after. Since it's my first it would've been so nice To go through it all together.

I tested a couple of days ago (twice) and definite bfn. AF due tomorrow and can feel it on its way!

Working on my cv today to try and focus on getting a new job or at least put my existing employer in a position where they consider matching a higher salary. Ive always known I've been underpaid but finally feel like I've got the motivation to do something about it. I think I mentioned a few days ago they've told me I'm on track for promotion in Jan which I've been aware of for a while but now they actually want me to run my team as a lot of work is coming our way and managers are moving away to look after the new stuff. it's left me in a tricky situation as to whether I should hold off TTC - don't want to be worked very hard just to forego promotion because I'm forced to announce pregnancy (if I fall quickly). Jan is a while away yet.

Oh brenna thinking of you on what must have been such a hard day.

I've been in the garden all day being very productive which has been great as haven't thought too much about TTC! I've now downloaded fertility friend and I'll give that a go. Thanks for all the advice everyone.

5tardusty hope you have a lovely time at the theatre.

Thinking of you brenna

Oh brenna . Thinking of you.

Missed dtd last couple of days due to tiredness and drunkenness but i'm not ovulating yet anyway. The days sort of feel like theyre dragging and slipping by at the same time at the moment. Dragging because i'm so keen for (preferably) ov or period, but slipping by because every day is another day i'm not pregnant! I know it's ridiculously impatient.

Seem to be getting never ending slippery cm, but never seems to reach ewcm. Consequently the apps are telling me i'm fertile every day..... Opks say different though.

Off to the theatre tonight which will be lovely and spent the day stripping wallpaper so keeping busy and distracted!

Good luck to all of you and hope you are enjoying this weekend.

Kindest thoughts are with you brenna be compassionate with yourself and do whatever helps you today

jpeg I'd say it's too early to interpret your chart. You're looking for a temp rise of at least .2 sustained across at least 3 days and then staying up after that until either your period or BFP. I'd see that on mine at the end of the fertile window, with ovulation happening on the last day of it, and a rise after that. I have Ovia but treat whatever it says with a big pinch of salt. Because Ovia now has both my pregnancies and MCs on it I feel I want to keep it going. Fertility friend sounds good but I think I have enough obsessing going on as I am.