TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Oh Mrs. I totally understand. I hope you do stay with us and chat but I get it. I'd feed you a lot of cake if you were closer.

I am so sorry Kate. That is so sad. I hope your other cat settles soon. Thank you, I really love the dress.

How is your Nan doing Purple?

Bertie I am with Newshoes. I don't test until the day after I am due at the earliest, but I do want to know if I am having early miscarriages as well as the more info we have the better.

Welcome Newhsoes and Alb. I hope you get news that helps you move forward today Alb.

Sorry the witch got you Nitnat

I am struggling with not trying this month. I don't really know what to do with myself. I have loads to do but I just feel kind of lacking in purpose. I went sailing yesterday. I had a great day out, lots of fun with my pal and his daughter but I got bakc and felt really sad that we may never have family days out and get to teach our kids our hobbies and skills. On well. 1 month to holiday. I had a good cry before bed last night.

Oh shit I am so sorry nimnat. Next month. Join me in making this month our month!! Fancy it?! By the time my hormones are down, we should ovulate at the same time! Well maybe....

From tomorrow, I am starting a massive fertility push. No coffee, booze, lots of sex, lots of good food, walking every day to the station...
I have been naughty weekend but tomorrow I am going to be saint-like.

Amy v pleased your grandad is ok. Sounds like a very peaceful weekend together.

xx

Nitnat sorry af got you

We had a lovely day at my grandparents, enjoyed watching people skydiving and running up and down the meadow with my dd's. My grandad is surprisingly well considering. He went off roading with my girls in his mobility scooter down to the end of the meadow and almost blew the thing up. Was lovely watching them have some bonding time and the weather and views were beaut. It was lovely relaxing talking to my grandma, soaking up the sun.

I hope everyone is ok and had enjoyed the nice weather today.

Well AF got me today, was getting a little hopeful as usual, but then got the kick in the teeth. Cue a little cry on the sofa and wondering what if it'll ever happen. And of course on a Sunday so couldn't go in and get my day 1 bloods. Anyone know if day 2 is ok or should I aim to at least catch my 7 days pre AF one and get the day 1 blood next month? This is twice in a row I couldn't go to the docs because AF got me either out of the country or on a weekend and I'm not minded to keep waiting :(

So sorry about your cat Kate, we had 3 which we flew out to Australia when we moved there for a few years and 1 was sadly hit by a car whilst we were living there, so only two made it back to the UK with us. Always a painful loss.

And Mrs, thinking of you, whether you're reading or not, hope a break does you good, sometimes it just does get too much.

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather, despite our somewhat drought of BFPs here, I spent a bit of time with book and a cider in the garden today to recover some perspective and positivity and the Vitamin D is doing its work I think (and the cider, if AF is gonna come she'd better bring along the drinks...).

welcome new shoes also - great point you make about testing!

Alb welcome but sorry to see you on here - that must have been a very awful experience - sending you love!

Kate so sorry to hear about your cat, poor little thing, RIP

Bertie I'm with you on the testing..i think it's too hard not to when it's your body and you want to understand what's happening. I got my BFP last Mon and have done 3 tests since...all positive luckily but my DH thinks I'm bonkers keep doing them!

I think so kate got a negative pregnancy test this morning and the opks are getting slightly darker which is hopefully a good sign!

We get the test results back for our stillborn daughter tomorrow which I'm quite nervous about but atleast we will get to put a plan in place tomorrow for any future pregnancys to make sure I get any extra care needed.

amy I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad, I hope today hasn't been too bad for you

And welcome alb!!! Glad to hear you are ready to start trying. Have your hormones gone to normal yet do you know?

Wise move on the flowers. It pains me everytime I think about it. Poor poor Bear. What a way to go. Rest well precious. Xx

Amy I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad. Hope he is ok today.

We really do need some luck on this thread. It just seems like everyone is getting so battered by life.

We are off to a falconry centre to fly some wild birds today. Got a picnic and the sun is out so hoping to knock the blue out of my embrassingly pale skin!!

Have lovely days all. And sending you lots of love Mrs if you are still reading. We are here for you. Xxx

Hi everyone, not been around recently but have caught up on the thread and it seems a lot are having trouble at the min.

Hello to everyone joining us, so sorry you find yourselves here but all the ladies are so supportive and give great advice.

Mrs sorry you're struggling at the min. I really hope you find some resolve whether it be medical or just taking some time for yourself.

I'm cd12 now and have no sign of ovulation apart from some ewcm today. Last cycle I ov'd cd13 but I don't think I will this time. Me and DH haven't dtd for a few days we've both been wiped out with work but have a few days off now.
I'm taking dd's over to see my grandparents tomorrow. My grandad has just been diagnosed with skin cancer as well as heart failure, feel really upset and wondering when all of this bad luck will end. It's literally been one thing after another since November last year. It's wearing me thin!

Kate so sorry about your cat, poor soul RIP!

Hello alb and welcome. Sorry for your miscarriage. I hope that you find this thread as supportive as I have.

bertie i'm with you all the way on the stats - i love them! I wish i was this methodical for all areas of my life!

Hi again, iv been lurking all week but as my post-birth bleeding stopped a week ago I thought I'd start posting as I guess we are technically ttc now, although I'm not expecting at all to get a bfp this month so iv just started doing opk's to get use to them and figure out best time of day to test so that once iv had a period I can use them properly hopefully.

hopeful I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, that's awful, I have 3 cats myself and I have a huge bunch of flowers that have been sent as a present from my work colleagues sitting in my kitchen that's full of lilies, I'd heard they were poisonous to cats but didn't realise it was that bad, in going to go and pick out all the lillies now.

Welcome newshoes. Lovely to have you here. I am very sorry to hear about the miscarriages. When are you going to try again? Sorry if that is insensitive to ask when we have only just met!

Mrs I can totally understand why you want to take the pressure of TTC. Please don't give up though. Give your body and your mind a rest, but don't lose hope. I know it must be endlessly frustrating to have the spotting but surely a consultant can sort that out? Sending you tons of love and thoughts.

It is a real bugger this whole trying to get pregnant thing, and over the past year of trying it has given me some of the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, and at times as you know, I have wanted to give up. But I have figured out that I don't want to reach 45 and look back on these precious years and think I didn't give myself the best shot of having a family.

Maybe you just need a break. I think that sounds like what you are suggesting anyway, but I just wanted to extend a huge arm of understanding and sympathy but also lots of support if you need it. We are all here, and in the same boat, and if you need us, just say.

My MC seems to be coming to an end thankfully. The bleeding is now pinky and no clots so I am hoping it is on the mend. I am going to pop to town later to get a pregnancy test and test tomorrow. It may still be too early but my levels started dropping last Saturday so they should be pretty low by now?

Purple how are you lovely lady?? How is your nan?

Brenna I forgot to say how gorgeous that dress looked that you sent! I can see why you got the comments!

We had some very sad new yesterday. My dear cat Bear who I adopted from the RSPCA seven years ago (who had feline Aids & was the most precious sweet character, almost like a dog) ate a lilly in the garden which poisoned him and we had to have him put down. The vet said he would only have a 1% chance of survival and so it was the kindest thing to do. His little sister Karen is so confused at where he has gone. It breaks my heart.

So a note of caution, if you have cats, keep them away from lilies! They are deadly. Poor soul. Sleep well precious Bear, and say hello to all our gorgeous babies who are up there.

xxx

Hi. Can I join? I've been lurking on this thread for a little while but have decided to de-lurk to respond to Bertie

I'm ttc via IUI at a clinic using donor sperm (I'm single). I have had two attempts and got pregnant on both cycles but the first cycle I had a chemical pregnancy and the second I recently miscarried at 11 weeks

Everyone has their own approach to testing. For me, early testing seems useful. We gain information from it. If we test early and get a BFP, we know that the sperm met the egg successfully and that the egg implanted and that we started to produce HCG. We then know that up to this point in the process our bodies are doing what they're supposed to: the sperm is up to the job, we have ovulated successfully, our cervical mucus is good quality, and our HCG has kicked in.

For me it's reassuring to know that I'm fertile up to this point and can then start looking at what might be happening after this point that is causing me to miscarry.

Because of this, and the fact that I have no self-discipline whatsoever I know that I will continue to test early every cycle.

I do accept though that we add to our own personal rollercoaster by testing early though and for some people the disappointment of an early BFP followed by a negative might be too much to bear.

And the problem with early testing is that if the test comes up negative you tell yourself 'well, it's probably just too early' and if it comes up positive it may well not stay positive for more than a couple of days because so many pregnancies seem to end as soon as they've started.

I'm really glad that I early-tested on my first cycle because it is now in my medical records that I had a chemical pregnancy which is technically an early miscarriage. This means that I've had two miscarriages. If I have another miscarriage then I'll be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and maybe will be able to do something about it.

Can anyone tell me their thoughts on this? Just got all excited to DH about being in the two week wait and he was all "No, you mean the three week wait". He wants me to wait until I'm a week late to test!!

I told him no way. I will agree to wait until my period is actually due but a whole week?

It's because of what happened last time, he doesn't want it to happen again. Last time I tested on 11dpo (approx, because I wasn't tracking) and got a negative. Tested again at 14dpo/period due date and got a squinter. Next day another squinter but strong symptoms. Was not until 1 week late that I got a strong positive, but this turned out to be an early miscarriage.

I was fine with all of the testing and just curious, in fact I would have liked to have done the testing every day to see a progression, but he wasn't happy with that and didn't want me to. As I was getting strong symptoms I decided I wouldn't test for a few more days because he was so antsy about it. But it hasn't put me off testing early! And I definitely want to test when AF is due. Especially since it will be my birthday He reckons I agreed to wait to test until I'm a week late but I don't remember agreeing to this, nor can I imagine myself doing so. He also cited the fact that my cycles vary by up to 5-7 days anyway. Which is true, but since I use an app which calculates the average, I'm only ever 3 days late according to the app anyway.

Hmm. I don't know what I think about it. Maybe he has a point? I feel like he's squashing all the fun out of TTC for me :( The charts and tests and stuff is exciting. I am a stats geek. And I also feel like the faint positives after they should have been darker was a useful hint that something wasn't quite right and helped temper my expectations whereas a strong positive at 7 days late wouldn't tell me anything like that. I feel like the fact I was aware of what was happening with my body really helped me to cope with my miscarriage.

The other thing I thought is I'm temping anyway, so I should have a good idea based on whether my temps drop at the end of this cycle or stay up, and I could maybe agree to test (or not) based on those? What do you think?

Oh and one last point - cheap tests are hard to find here and the internet ones I had were absolutely rubbish and really difficult to read so I ended up spending money on proper ones and even the own brand tests are about €5+ each with clearblue etc being €7+ and digitals over €10. So there is a bit of a feeling not to want to "waste" expensive tests by testing too early.

Oh Mrs I'm sorry you feel like that but can totally understand. I often read things about people who tried for years and then conceived when they gave up 'trying' so you never know. Wishing you all the very best.

How close to Dundee do you live? I warn you now though that it is not good for the waistline. I am struggling with mine at the moment.

Good to hear Kate. Enjoy the evening.

Lovely Purple. Looks fantastic. Glad the bloods are down too.

Best of luck Mrs. I hope the Drs can do something.

I've spent the evening baking again. Lemon drizzle cake, rhubarb crumbles and I iced some choc chip cupcakes I made yesterday.

My bloods came back under 5 so hormone has dropped glad to hear the scan went well hopeful. Enjoy your night tonight!!

Insufficiently I've had one bottle of iodine, about 4 years ago now. Might order one to just top up!

Thanks girls. Just about to jump into this bath with a book. Have given myself an indian head massage with some oil and put a body shop face mask on. Unfortunately the spa had no availability so had to improvise!! Got a book to read and if I don't get into it, I have my kindle. DH got the soaps on.

And good luck with doctors mrs. I can't offer any advice I'm afraid but hope you get answers v soon xx