TTC after miscarriage thread #4

congratulations clarity! May is clearly a lucky month.

brenna glad your appointment's come through. I find it reassuring to know that recurrent miscarriage referrals can be processed quickly as depending on what happens if and when I fall again, I may be joining you.

cheeky that's a really strong dark line now, I didn't have one that clear with either of my pregnancies. Hope it's a good early sign of a healthy pregnancy!

I've been soaking up the sun this weekend having read that vitamin D is good for regulating hormone levels. It's definitely left me feeling more relaxed and contented anyway. I'm now 2 dpo, temp shot up to 36.9 this morning which is very high for this early in my tww. Maybe that's just because of the warmer weather though.

I'm crampy and moody. Pretty sure af is on the way which would make another 24 day cycle. Feel very down today

Thank you everyone, early days but so reassuring to know I can get pregnant again especially as I will be 39 when this baby is born, if all goes to plan.

Cheeky - it's very bittersweet, I've lost all my pregnant naivety. My partner is so pleased but we are both saying 'let's wait and see how it works out' rather than 'we are going to have a baby'. I won't relax until I get past the 12 week scan when I found out about the mmc last time. I would definitely speak to your mum no one understands more than your mum. Pregnancy and misscarriage shouldn't be a secret in my view.

JPEG - don't give up, I found the cheap OPKs never worked for me and my temperature never had the sustained rise for three days. I'm not sure I did it correctly but I was starting to think I didn't ovulate at all. The only different thing we did thing month was using the fertility gel and DP starting the male pre -contraception vitamins.

Here's to more May or summer BFPs.

Go for it jpeg, normally I ovulate with the first positive according to my temps but the surge carries on for around 24 hours after I ovulate. For most people though the surge starts 24-36 hours before ovulation. I think I probably start during the night hence the ovulation (temp spike) the next day.

Just go for it jpeg. The egg can survive 24 hours after ovulation and it just takes the one sperm to meet the one egg!!

Thanks so much Amy I just took another one and it's clearly positive! This is the first time! Will I be too late if we dtd tonight??

JPEG my ov tests last month looked like yours a couple of days before I got a super positive. I've included a progression pic for you xx

Thanks 5tardusty I am going to take a few today! Shame bf is playing bloody cricket AGAIN all day! We dtd yesterday morning though so hopefully that's ok and the minute he is home I hope he still has energy left!! If I am... Two weeks today we are off to Italy. So I'll test before we leave!

jpeg you could be close to ov. My last ovulation spike came out of nowhere; the tests were very faint then one morning just went vv dark, it was unmistakeable. That lasted two days then back to v faint again. Your surge might be more gradual but i'd look for a very dark one to confirm.

I hope it's coming!

Sounds like a great idea Cheeky! I've just gutted our bedroom and on hands and knees washing floors! Don't know what's gotten into me! Also.... This is the darkest OPK I've had this month... Does it mean just maybe I'm close to ovulating??

That is so sad Kate. And makes me realise and appreciate all the blessings we have in our lives. She must love him a great deal.

I'm tempted to throw everything out the freezer and start again. Got so many odds and ends in there! I would have to tell a porkie to DH though and say the freezer defrosted...

Also hope you have a nice day with your aunt and uncle. That's such a sad story. What a strong woman she must be!

Oh dear Kate naughty boyfriend!!!

That's such a good way of looking at it. I'm not behind. They are all getting married so it won't be long and hopefully they will never experience this! But I'm doing the kids before marriage thing and they all think I'm crazy!! We aren't that young, all 29/30 but I'm the first to even think about having kids. I can understand why they don't talk about it with me as it I just not in their lives right now and they have no idea!! As soon as they start temping every day and worrying that I'm not completely lying still is my temp accurate... They'll understand!!

Jpeg I can totally relate to the feeling of isolation. I suppose a positive sign is that you friends aren't pregnant yet or have babies so you aren't 'behind' as that can make it hard too. But whichever way you cut this experience, it is hard. so I feel for you. It will happen very soon I am sure.

Good luck Amy. One thing I have learnt is bodies don't respond in the way you think they will, you think you are out and then boom! Hope that happens to you.

Off to see my uncle and aunt today for a big family lunch. My uncle has MS and is deteriorating. It is extremely sad. It hit him in his early 30s and so him and my aunt never had the option to have children. She has basically looked after him all her married life while she has seen her friends have families....

Meanwhile, my boyfriend who went out into London at 8pm last night is STILL NOT HOME! I got a sheepish text at 6am saying he was still out but that he would be back by 11.30am to go to my parents to see my uncle and aunt. Naughty boyfriend.

Congratulations Clarity!!!! So exciting!

Thanks everyone... Was just feeling really low last night and needed to get it out!! Cd23 and temp rose this morning but had negative OPK yesterday. Just wishing this cycle would be over so I can start again!

Clarity congratulations!!

I said in an earlier post that I had a good feeling about may, I knew we would get some bfp's!

I'm 6dpo today according to fertility friends and my temps. My temps have been really low post o this month and my ovulation pattern really wasn't clear at all but it's drawn my cover line and is certain it happened cd11 which is really early for me. I had pressure and pain in the left cd11-cd13. My temps have been around 36.3 but this morning they shot up to 36.71, will see how they go over the next few days but I'm not hopeful we did it this month, but I'm still relaxed and calm and won't be upset if that's the case.

JPEG I know how you feel, only two of my friends know how crazy I had become about ttc. The likelihood is they won't have any problems getting pregnant or staying pregnant and will never know or understand what turmoil we have to deal with which I'm glad about as if never wish this on anyone, but that doesn't make it any easier for us to deal with.

Last night I was dreaming about holding out baby, all I could see was this baby's cute face, looked exactly like my dd's but I didn't know the sex. Then I dropped the baby down a massive black hole. It was so vivid it woke me up and I was sweating like mad.

Biggest congratulations Clarity!!!! Great news.

cheeky you take the words right out my mouth. Hope you get some reassurance from your mum today.

Good luck for today 5tardusty - I saw a friend at the train station last week who was due a month before me & I had to quickly just walk the other way. Think she saw me but I couldn't stand the pain of it.

Xx

5star, I was in the same position last weekend. Saw both of my pregnant friends who were roughly same time as me. Both I'm close to and both didn't tell me as they feared how I would be, which sort of hurt actually. I had a good cry when I heard they were pregnant. Was happy for them but so sad for me. I was dreading seeing their bumps but actually it was easier than I expected.

Congratulations clarity, so lovely to see another BFP!

cheeky your mum must be a really strong woman- she will be a great help to you during your pregnancy. I hope that you are able to enjoy it soon.

I'm off to see a someone today who is due a few weeks before i would have been. We were really excited to be pregnant at the same time and i'm worried she'll keep her distance now for fear of upsetting me. I know her pregancy will be the hardest for me to watch, but i hope it doesn't spoil the friendship.

Congratulations clarity! Here's hoping everyone will follow suit. It is very scary. I'm going from
Feeling happy that I've fallen to feeling sad that I'm not getting excited, to feeling very anxious thinking the miscarriage could happen again, and then thinking about which is worse - miscarriage becoming apparent with bleeding (so I keep symptom spotting and knicker checking) to missed miscarriage discovered at 12 week scan which just broke my heart last time as I felt tricked. Then I keep looking at the test pictures and thinking what does it mean exactly? Nothing really. Just that I've not had AF yet.

I'm just up and down in emotions, it must be the hormones too. I'm trying to convince myself that however much I try to protect myself or give myself free reign, miscarriage will hurt just as much and there's nothing I can for really except try to look after myself best I can.

Think ill tell my mum today. She had 3 miscarriages after me and had all the testing done, but there was nothing wrong with either her or my dad. Then she went on to have my brother, she was closely monitored with weekly scans. Then she had another miscarriage and then was adamant to give me a sister and got preg again. She had a lot of bleeding at 12 weeks and it was classed as a high risk pregnancy/threatened miscarriage. She was sure she had miscarried but a scan showed everything was OK. The whole pregnancy was tough though (I recall as I was 11) and she was closely monitored again.

I think I've shared that story before; hope it can give hope to those who have had more than one miscarriage. Hopefully she can be a good means of support to me, having been pregnant after loss.

Congratulations Kate and cheeky. It's such a good month. I've also just got a BFP after 4 months of trying (felt like forever). I haven't posted for a bit, I was so demoralised this month. Infact we went away to a hotel and had loads to drink on Friday! I convinced myself that I was never going to conceive anyway. I woke up with period like pains in the night at 11dpo which stopped after an hour (no implant bleed though) and just took a superdrug early test this morning at 12 dpo. The line is obviously faint but similar to Kate and cheekys pictures (thanks for posting so reassuring).
I am also really happy and really scared, I don't feel pregnant and I'm almost scared to admit it. I'm very conscious that anything can happen and think about Brennas experience ( you are so strong getting through that Brenna). Have just worked out my due date late January probably not a great time to have a baby (cold and financially broke) but getting pregnant again gives me a lot of hope.
Fingers crossed for Everyone either pregnant or trying.

JPEG I know exactly how you feel. It is ever so lonely at times... Even though I am pregnant again now it obviously still hurts. Last week would have been my due date (I was due just after brenna) and I didn't get a single text off a single friend, not a phone call, nothing. I was in work all day which kept my mind occupied but that really stung as it felt like nobody cared.

JPEG it is a very lonely time. It's hard when people don't talk or ask, even though I see it from both sides. They probably don't know what to say. No words can make it better but I do find talking about it helps loads.

Amazing news Kate!!!

I've just been out for a lovely meal with some friends. But on my way home I just felt so sad. I spent the evening not drinking... Which I don't even mind... But what makes me sad is that none of my friends know what I'm going through, they don't know that during the meal when I went to the bathrooms I checked my cervix just in case, or that I had taken 3 OPKs today and was wondering how accurate they were.... And so on and so on. It's not that they don't care about me but none of them had kids or have TTC yet so they just have no idea. They know about the MC but no one mentions it or ever talks to me about any of it. Sometimes I just feel so alone in it all.

Sorry for the long message! Thanks to everyone for listening to me! X