TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Congrats whatshername! Wishing you wel

Have not logged in all week due to busy week of work but hope everyone is doing well. Will take some time to catch up on posts...

Got my period yesterday after an anxious 2ww. This is my third cycle since my mmc in Feb. We only started trying again last cycle so trying my best not to be too disappointed. Obviously I am disappointed but guess it wasn't our month.

Does anyone find it a bit harder to talk to other women who haven't experienced miscarriage, about your mc experiences? There's been many a time in conversation that I've felt like only those who have been through it can truly understand. Maybe I'm just feeling sensitive about it? I feel like I'll never be that blasé or unaware of what could go wrong again. Sorry if I'm not making sense but it really changes pregnancy for you doesn't it.

Anyway must soldier on. I really could do with some chocolate and wine with this period pain I have right now!

Congratulations whatsername. What fabby news.

Clarity - my boss and his wife had six miscarriages and they were both checked over. Don't think it is just the woman just because you can get pregnant. There can still be chromosonal stuff from the swimmers as far as I know, also 12 yrs is a long time, very shortsighted or Gp to say things like that.
Can you see another GP and specifically state that it is to talk about fertility stuff? At mine there is a guy who did a two year stint at the gynae ward of the hospital, he is very good and as you say a bit more specialised in this area.
I would try and ring the EPU anyway just to talk to someone.
All the best.

Brenna - I will make myself get up and do park run this Saturday for sure. Feeling fat doesn't help me feel any better and definitely does not help make me feel sexy in the bedroom.

Been to the GP, he told me what I already knew and said that I can have a referral if it happens again. But then said he thought it was pointless to refer me as I am getting pregnant so there are no obvious problems. Seems a bit contradictory to me as presumably that's the point of a recurrent miscarriage referral. I think he was less convinced because I have a 12 year old. He also said there can not be any problems with my partner if I am getting pregnant, is that even true? Is it always a fault with the woman if you can get pregnant? Surely they test men for a reason too.
I think this is why you need expert help as GPs only have a broad knowledge unfortunately you can not self refer to the EPU in my area.

Congrats whatshername wishing you a happy 9 months.

Brenna & clarity I cannot run to save my life! My ankle gives way literally within feet of my house and then I can't walk properly, I really admire people who can run.

The skin breakout if at its peak I think, I resorted to buying freederm spot stuff from asda last night after work. I look like I've had no sleep for a months, my face is like a teenagers and my hair is lank and full of grease despite washing it yesterday. This is the worst lp I've ever had! I'm allergic to my own hormones I think.

Congratulations What. So excited for you. I hope this is the one. You really do deserve this.

I have my running kit at work Clarity just in case I get the urge to start that again. Like you i have done a l ot of eating since my first miscarriage and I am heavier than I have ever been and quite ashamed of myself. I'll run if you do

Congratulations- whatshername, don't worry about all those things, what will be, will be. We do need to live our lives too particularly before we know.
Thanks for the advice ladies, trying to be more positive today. I know these things have happened to many of us and we have all got through it.
You are right about hobbies Brenna im trying to get back into running regularly but have found that I have been stress eating a lot since my first miscarriage which actually makes me more feel down and frumpy.
I do want to keep trying- can't give up now but I think i need to keep things in perspective and stop planning my life around 'if I'm pregnant' or ' if we have a child'.
From now on, no temps, no OPKs, just regular sex around the right time and fingers crossed. I have probably learnt a lesson about early testing at 12dpo but that said I still would have tested the morning AF was due and got a positive.
Onwards and upwards. Good luck to all.

Thank you. After a miscarriage at 13 weeks and a chemical I am so terrified. I took the test to stop the crazy 'am I/aren't I' thoughts. I've had practically no symptoms at all. This was the month I decided to stop putting my life on hold. I went out last Friday and drank, I haven't taken my pre-conception vitamins because I was fed up of them making me feel a bit nauseous. I bought sushi for my lunch today (which I obviously won't eat now). I can't believe it has happened and I'm just hoping that I might be able to be hopeful soon. Ahhh I'm a mess!

Wow!!!!! Congratulations whatshername that's so amazing! You deserve it! Wishing you a happy 9 months! Xx

In shock!

So sorry you're going through this clarity. I had a lot of bleeding with dd1 at the begging of my pregnancy. I had one bleed at 4 weeks which was like a light period, I then went in to have another bleed at 7-8 weeks and I had a scan at 9 weeks which confirmed that dd's twin was disappearing hence all the bleeds. DD is a grumpy 8 going on 18 year old now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a positive outcome for you too.

so sorry clarity sending positive thoughts and hoping it doesn't turn out to be mc. can totally understand how you're feeling....just so tough not knowing if and when and the constant waiting.

Hugs to you Mrs. I am tryingt o get my life back to 'normal' for before we started to conceive. Having my hobbies to look forward to helps with the positivity. I am climbing on a tuesday night and I have promised myself that I will start riding again soon. I haven't done that since my last horse died about 5 years ago.

Clarity your description of what's happened with the positive tests then bleeding sounds like what happened with my second MC. I went to my EPU and found it helpful to talk to them about it rather than my GP, as they're more expert about MC. They gave me a blood test for HCG which confirmed MC, and also advised it would be logged as a second MC so that if I'm unlucky enough to have a third I can be referred on to a recurrent miscarriage consultant, and I will also be offered an early reassurance scan at 8 weeks (if I can carry a pregnancy that long that is). On a practical note, I was told pads were better than tampons for MC bleeding due to infection risk with tampons, but then my bleeding was also too heavy for tampons then. Hugs, I feel for you. Also hugs to you Mrs I know how disappointing AF is. It sounded from your posts like your body has settled more this cycle with the clomid so hope next cycle will be the one for you.

Sorry Clarity :( I know it's shit but in some ways one step closer to getting answers I suppose?

So sorry Clarity. Huge hugs.

Sorry clarity. Id still contact the GP. You have got a positive test so they should do bloods to confirm either way.

Thank you for all your support it really does help when you feel so alone.
I text my partner but I'm kind of dreading him coming home and having to talk about it.
Been through one tampon already, this now feels like a normal period. I'm so angry about it, I can't even cry yet. At the moment I feel like I want to just pretend this ever happened (all irrational). I know this is the end of the pregnancy, I can just feel it but thank you for your optimism Brenna, Mrs, Miami and JPEG. At the moment I can't ever envisage me and my partner having a baby. I'm sure the anger will subside.
Thanks again, so good to have others to sound off too. I think I will see the GP next week, although it's 'only' the second time I want to make sure i flag it up. I'm not even sure I would tell my partner if I got pregnant again. I feel like such a failure when it ends and he gets his hopes up.

Clarity I do hope everything is ok for you. When I started bleeding lightly with my MC I posted on the glow app community and sooooooo many people replied saying how they had bled in their pregnancies. I know that might not help and j can imagine you are feeling really anxious and down but fingers crossed you get your hcg done in your blood tests and everything is fine.

Sorry af got you mrs fingers crossed for next month!

I had a break from dtd last night. I'm so not used to dtd this much!! I'll go again tonight just in case. My cervix feels lower but still soft and still have ewcm so must still be fertile.

Sorry to hear that Miami and Brenna. That must have been really tough. I would defo do something to treat yourself - this business is really rough on us

JPEG I've never tracked ovulation but I do think I ovulate late. I know they say there should be a temp drop but there could be other variables so I would just focus on dtd every other day. It's more difficult to relax when temping and OPKs and that can sometimes stop the body conceiving.

Clarity sorry to hear that but I back what Brenna says. It could be something or nothing although can appreciate how tough it will be. Try not to worry (I hate it when people say that) and do bed rest if you can. I would still go to the docs. Even if it's bad news it will be recorded on your records and that's important.

Hi clarity.
Sorry you are going through this, it just be so difficult for you. If it helps in any small way at all loads of people have bleeds at 4, 8 and 12 weeks (when AF is due) before the progesterone is gone so high that every part of your body realises you are preggers. It is very common. Definitely worth checking your levels I think, both your hcg and progesterone as there are fixes if they are the problem (or at least a try to fix, won't help if still other underlying problems). But I suppose at least then if you have to have an argument with a doctor to get tests it gives you something to focus on other than the worry. My sister has had 4 healthy pregnancies and felt like getting AF for the first three months with all of them.
I do hope you are ok. Try to stay calm and best of luck with it.

Hi Clarity. Sorry you are going through this. The sainsburys ones are less sensitive and will be fainter, so don't worry about that. The cramping and bleeding may be something or nothing. I had that last month and it ramped up and turning into a miscarriage, plenty of other people get it and it turns out to be nothing. Unfortunately there is not much they can do if it is. Last month I just went to bed for the 2 days I was cramping and bleeding and hoped it was going to pass if I rested.

I hope it is ok for you and just one of those things - I have one friend who bled through every successful pregnancy (in one pregnancy several times she was hospitalised the bleeding was so heavy) and miscarried the ones she didn't bleed in if that helps.

Hello all,

As you know got my BFP this week at 12dpo ( supedrug) which was quite clear, did a test on day 13 and 14 too, these were different tests from sainsburys but they were really faint. I was a bit worried so i bought a digital which also said pregnant and made me believe it was real. Today my actual period is due and I've started bleeding lightly and feel a little crampy. Do you think this is the end? Is it worth even going to the GP?
So disappointing as last time I had an early bleed which stopped and then started again at 10 weeks leading up to the mmc. I can't go through that again if this is going the same way. Or maybe it's just a chemical.
Feeling sad.