TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Yeah hopeful, back on Tuesday. I just want this over with now. Work is really really busy at the moment, a good distraction but also difficult to take time off at the moment. If it needs to be done it needs to be done though. I won't be a martyr.

It's just difficult to plan when you leave it to happen naturally as it could take a few weeks.

Exciting Missclarke! Hope it is your month! xx

Bless you, good luck for work cheeky. I really hope it is as smooth and pain free as possible. Are you back at the EPU on Tuesday did you say? xx

I had my MC at about 8 weeks but baby stopped developing around 5. For me it was a long drawn out process for various reasons, but in the end I had an ERPC under general anaesthetic. I'd do the same again. (I went through what I thought was the MC before but didn't pass everything.) The ERPC was quick efficient no side effects.

On another note, I've had light cramps and started spitting today (about 10DPO and 3 days before periods due.) Did a cheapie test and got BFN but hoping it might be implantation.

Thanks girls. Miami I was 6 weeks along.

I had medical management when I had the mmc at 12 weeks so I know a little about that. I don't think I want that again and natural will probably be the option to go for but ofcourse you don't know when it will hit the peak. Can't really take weeks off work and just sit around waiting. I work in the financial sector in a really busy job.

I think I'll probably go into work tomorrow and carry on as long as I can and just take time off if I feel I need it. Can self certify for a week. Hoping it won't come to that though to be honest. At the moment I've just had a tiny bit of bleeding.

I totally agree with Jpeg and Miami. Take some time off. You never know what may happen and it is much better to be around your home comforts than having to deal with the unpredictability of being at work and having to put your 'game face' on. Be kind to yourself, rest, internet shop, watch TV and nourish yourself. xx

cheeky mine was when I was 7 weeks and it wasn't actually that painful, it was horrible but not painful. I took the week off work and bleed fairly heavily for that week, although nothing much more than a very heavy period, I was cramping on an off and was pretty uncomfortable. I actually can't remember it that much anymore but I know I was waiting for extreme pain as I thought that's what happened and it never arrived. Everyone is different though. I would definitely take some time off work if you can. Just to rest and if you do do things naturally I certainly didn't want to be at work whilst I was bleeding heavily just in case.

Cheeky. I am so sorry for you that this is happening again. I am afraid that mine was at 9 weeks and I went for medical management so my experience maybe not that useful for you.
With the tablets there is a gradual build up and obviously you know that it will happen so are a bit more prepared for it.
There is a really useful thread on mumsnet/ or netmums about the practicalities of dealing with miscarriages. I read the whole thing to prepare myself for mine. Loads of people in that with many different experiences.
How many weeks are you (sorry I can't recall)? Depending on how far along it may be that you get a more period like sensation, in which case if you are at all up to it you could probably leave work as it starts. But, give yourself a break, if you can't face work then don't. You have to listen to your body in this case and unfortunately go with it!! All the best.

It's all so personal I guess cheeky. What job do you do? Are you bosses supportive? I would say that you should take a week off, to let yourself heal in every way. Any doctor would give you a note for that but of course it depends whether you can do that at your work?

After my chemical - 4 1/2 weeks - it was just like a very heavy crampy period but I managed to go to work (stocked with LOTS of pads to change every few hours) and just had a mega quiet life outside of work for a few weeks to recover properly. However with my other two - 8 weeks and 10/11 - there is NO way on earth I could have gone to work due to the pain and emotional distress.

If you are 6 weeks, I imagine it might be OK but I would still take a week off.

This is obviously if you are miscarrying, which you may not be. I still have everything crossed.

xx

My mum came over today and was great. DH has been good too. It's definitely feeling better than last time since I wasn't as far gone. Getting to 12 weeks was heartbreaking last time.

My biggest concern right now is what to do regarding work and what to expect physically. Can anyone help? Will I need to take time off work? If I go down the natural route I don't know when it will happen so do I just go with the flow and then take time off when I need it? Will it be really painful and heavy? I know everyone's different but would really appreciate some insight. Sorry if I'm on the wrong thread for this, don't want to unnecessarily drag it up for people either

Fingers crossed for you kate rise sounds promising. Sorry you're going through the uncertainty and worry.

cheeky just go with what you feel, there are no rights or wrongs. I often have a delayed emotional reaction myself but also found I was more resilient second time round as I knew what to expect and was less far into it. Hope your DH is being supportive? X

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your kind words. I'm not in any pain or bleeding (yet) but it is just the slow rising HCG that they are worried about. Apparently that is the way they diagnose an ectopic. But slow rising HCG can also mean a non-viable pregnancy BUT in 15% it is normal. So we are praying for a miracle basically.

Cheeky all my thoughts are with you. I am always here if you need to talk. The only consolation (and I say this knowing I may well be about to face the same) is that we aren't that far gone and it should resolve itself pretty quickly, and then you can get yourself under an amazing consultant or doctor? As I say, I say that very lightly because I know there is no real consolation. Pregnancy gives you hope and to have that taken away is just very very cruel. There are no words. Hope your mum is being a comfort? And your DH?

Lots of thoughts to everyone xx

I really hope that your wee bean is ok Kate. i have everything crossed for you and Cheeky.

We are due a good few sticky ones. So many bfps and very few have made it in the last couple of months.

It is extremely luxurious Lucky. I am not used to it (more used to camping for a weekend away). I am off out now to see if I can buy a dress for dinner on the saturday night. Hardly anything I own fits these days

Thanks Kate.

It's a couple of things that indicate it's a miscarriage to them- I never got a strong BFP when AF was due (got a strong one 6 days later and that was an early response). The weeks indicator is known to be inaccurate but if anything, people get 'stuck' rather than it going in wrong direction. It's pretty unheard of for it to go in the wrong direction. Now to add to it, I've had spotting and my symptoms don't feel as strong. At the beginning I felt light headed, dizziness, out of breath quickly, nausea and heightened smell. All I feel now is the backache and heightened smell but less than what it was.

Let's just say I ovulated late - so I'm a week behind ie 5 weeks instead of 6. 129 falls into that range but at the lower end.

You are right though, it could be ok. My gut is saying otherwise though. On a positive note I've not really had anymore bleeding. It was just the 'gush' I felt yesterday and there was maybe a tablespoons worth of red/brown watery discharge. My wee has been a little tainted since and when wiping there's been a tinge too.

Again the lady on the phone wasn't very hopeful.

kate I am so so sorry if that is the case. Are you in pain? Is that why they think ectopic? Your hcg rising is a good sign so fingers crossed the little bean is trying to pull through!

cheeky been thinking of you. So sorry that you're going through this again. The not knowing for definite I found the hardest thing. I hope you're being well looked after x

Cheeky I can understand why you are worried but that doesn't sound like a definite miscarriage to me? Why are they so sure? The cramps and backache can be a normal sign of pregnancy and bleeding is v common, and it doesn't sound alarmingly red or heavy?

I obviously don't want to give you false hope. I have to keep reminding myself of that. But the one thing this past few days has taught me is thing can change, doctors can be wrong and nothing is certain until the final whistle.

Sending you so many thoughts and hugs. We are in this together xx

Kate it's the first blood test I've had done this morning but given the clear blue week indicator went the wrong direction and I've now had some spotting it's more than likely its a miscarriage. Had the HCG level been higher they would've offered a scan but the number is so low. I don't feel pregnant anymore. The symptoms arent as strong ..

Thanks Jodie. I hope and pray too. I felt very wiped out yesterday. I could barely leave the sofa and kept falling asleep so I am hoping that the little bean is trying to fight back and stay with me.

I fear the worst if I am honest but I am pleased I have such a good consultant. At times this week I have thought that this may be the end of the road for me. The last two years have been far too painful and I am not sure how much more I can do. But the boost in numbers today have given me some hope... at least I will be able to get through today without another meltdown.

How are you all?? xx

Hi hopeful. Sorry I posted my update without responding to you.

Here's my story:

LMP- April 9th

AF due - May 9th (30 day cycle)

Tested on 9th and 11th - bfn

Tested on 12th with early response- faint BFP

Tested on 15th with early response - strong BFP

Tested on 18th with clear blue digital weeks indicator - should've been 3+ but showed 2-3 (traditionally 4-5 weeks). Didn't think too much of it as I thought I ovulated late.

Tested on 21st with clear blue digital weeks indicator hoping for 3+ but instead got 1-2 (traditionally 3-4 weeks)

That was yesterday morning. Panicked all day but read so many threads where people said they were inaccurate. However by last night I had some brown/red watery discharge. It wasn't much but I've had cramping since before AF was due and backache this past week.

Sounds like it just didn't implant properly...

So sorry to hear it might be etopic for you. When is this going to end. I feel ok but worry I am holding it together and am just going to explode.

Really hope it isn't Kate, been thinking of you and wondering how you were getting on, hope you get some good news x

Cheeky you poor thing. Why did you go to the EPU in the first place - because of bleeding? The only way to detect a MC is if they go down. Have you had other HCG tests done before now?

My constant said to me that while they are still going up there is still hope, even if they aren't doubling.

I am so so sorry if this is true. I have a feeling I may be joining you soon too. My heart is breaking everyday with the waiting...

xx

The hospital phoned and said the HCG level was only 129. They'll repeat on Tuesday but most definitely a miscarriage.

Thanks for everyone's support and Input.

Hope the bleeding doesn't drag on now, I've not had much bleeding at all yet.. It was horrendous last time but I was obviously further on.

Hi everyone. How are you all? I will read all the messages later but I just caught your posts cheeky. What has happened?! I am so sorry. Are you sure that is the case?

I am having a nightmare myself. My consultant thinks I may have an ectopic pregnancy. It hasn't been confirmed yet but my bloods last week showed that my HCG is going up very slowly. Miraculously though, I had another blood test this morning and it has had a massive jump today (officially 5 wks today). The nurse was in shock that they have risen so much but we are still far from out the woods. Life can be so cruel and it has been a very painful few days.

PM me if you want to cheeky.

Sending lots of love to you all xx