TTC after miscarriage thread #4

Really sorry cheeky and Kate. I hope there's a happy ending for someone soon. The uncertainty is so hard. I feel for you both.
I really want there to be good outcomes for everyone on this thread. It feels as if we are all having such a difficult time. On one hand I suppose it confirms how common and normal miscarriage is but on the other hand it makes it seem even more unlikely that things will turn out well.
My chemical at 4.2 has really been like a normal period but slightly more crampy and clotty. It seems to be slowing done now so it feels like a normal 6 day bleed. Last time I had an Erpc as I couldn't face the thought of the pain or passing the sac. Emotionally this time i have felt disappointed and angry but couldn't cry ( even though im sure that would have been helpful).
My DP wants to keep trying but I know he is worried about whether that's good for me.
I really am going to try a more relaxed approach this month. (I say already thinking about my fertile period this weekend).
Brenna- park run was tough, 34 minutes but I felt better for it and am going to start a better diet this week and try and shift some of this post miscarriage, post stress-eating weight. ( that is once I finish the left over takeaway from the weekend for lunch).

Don't rule anything out yet jpeg. As Amy said your temps can be quite erratic. It takes at least a couple of minths to get to know your body and then it will throw you a curveball by being odd one month anyway.

Cheeky hope you're ok

JPEG your temp is still about the cover line, doesn't mean you're out. Some people have these erratic dips and rises. Have you looked at charts like mine on FF? My temp dipped right below the cover line today, pic included. I don't have any sign of af yet no cramps or anything so I don't know what's going on?

Cheeky it's also possible that you ovulated at normal time, and had sperm hanging around from when you DTD at the beginning. They can live up to 7 days remember though it's recommended to conceive with less than 3 day old sperm. Then it might have just been one of those things - chromosomal, etc - that it didn't develop properly, explaining the low HCG level. Fairly common, apparently. Or perhaps by the time the egg released the sperm was lower quality, which is why it didn't develop properly. I'm imagining some old tired sperm being "Noooo.... I came this... far...." on its zimmer frame

I would not worry just yet that this is a pattern, there's no evidence that it is. If it is reassuring though you could look at using ovulation pinpointing methods after your cycle starts again. With such an early one it was fairly quick for me. AF arrived exactly a month after MC and we are now officially trying again (yay!) but not fertile yet.

Hey guys. I'm ok thanks. Had cramps through the night and it was quite uncomfortable. Woke me up. However still not had much bleeding. Just upon wiping.

Feeling worried about why I ovulated so late this cycle. That can be the only explanation if we didn't dtd from cd 15-cd 28. We dtd on cd29 the night before AF was due and that must have been when the egg got fertilised.

I'm worried about ovulating late regularly , what if this wasn't a one off?

Yes hope work is ok cheeky

Any temp experts out there.... I had a temp dip yesterday at 6dpo and today. I'm assuming that's me out and af is coming early!!!

Likewise. I hope work goes fine Cheeky

good luck at work today cheeky. Thinking of you. xxx

• pretty sure we didn't dtd in between cd15 and night before AF was due.

Yes Bertie that's what I meant- as part of the bigger picture. The strange thing is when I've been racking my brains I've realised we dtd at the beginning of the fertile window (before cd 15 let's say) and then didn't dtd until the night before AF was due (Sunday 8th). I'm pretty sure we dtd in between although it's possible I've forgotten. I must have had a very very late ovulation and 'conceived' on that night but then it seems a miracle I got a BFP on the Thursday on an early response albeit a faint one. Coupled with the fact the hormone level must have been higher for me to get the 2-3 , I've just had a really weird cycle and body's tried to get pregnant.

Have only really had spotting on wiping yet. Don't have any pregnancy symptoms now though and the cramps are in my lower back. It's most certainly over whichever way it's happened. I can feel my body is trying to get rid but how smoothly that happens is another question.

Cheeky mine last month was like a normal but quite badly crampy period. I went to work. That was at 5 weeks. My niece at 5 weeks took about 5 weeks, on and off bleeding and cramping. She took a couple of weeks off work more for the mental effects than anything else. Then she decided to just go back.

I forgot to say happy anniversary earlier Amy. What a lovely surprise. Your DH is a good'un, That sounds really promising. Everything crossed for you.

Well 129 doesn't mean anything alone, it could mean you're 4+1 rather than 6 weeks as you thought. But as a whole with the other parts of the picture it's not a great sign, because I think you must have had higher levels on the 18th to get a 2-3 week reading at that point. Going by that estimate it seems clear that it's going down unfortunately.

Take care, I hope you have support. or if you feel ready.

Hi Bertie. Thanks so much for sharing that. It makes total sense now. I couldn't find anything to explain it. I'll share that link on the thread I started about the weeks indicator in the hope that it'll help someone else one day.

you are right though - 129 is really low and most definitely miscarriage. I am having repeat bloods on Tuesday but it's more to just confirm what we already know.

Cheeky It's horrible isn't it, sounds similar to what I went through last month. I was 6 weeks by dates but it was never quite right. I kept getting faint BFPs for ages even after I was late and then had low HCG level when it was tested (which is standard at booking in in Germany which I did at about 5 weeks by LMP). HCG was 99 which suggested 3-4 weeks. They couldn't see anything on a scan then and suggested I might have ovulated later, which is what led me to obsess over HCG levels!

I didn't take any digital tests but I did do some research on them because I was considering it but the cost was putting me off especially as I had access to blood tests etc. I was thinking maybe there was some hope for you but I think probably when you take the whole pattern with the EPU blood test into account (though they really should have done two) it doesn't look that good does it :( Sorry.

I will include this anyway as it might be helpful to you (first review explains how the weeks estimator thing works and the margins of error)

www.amazon.com/Clearblue-Advanced-Pregnancy-Weeks-Estimator/product-reviews/B00D05VGCS

And for comparison here is the most helpful HCG chart by day that I found.

www.babymed.com/is-my-hcg-blood-level-normal

You can see that there is enormous range even within one day which is why they say that only blood tests can tell you accurately what is happening because you need to be tested 48 hours apart and see how fast the levels are increasing or whether they are.

In terms of what to expect, I had spotting for a couple of days on and off (which was horrible because I kept feeling like it was okay and then being sad/anxious) and then it was exactly like a period for me. I normally have light periods and it was heavyish but I was only really needing one or two pads a day. I didn't suffer a lot with cramps. I was having pelvic floor pain towards the end (that stabbing "javelin in arse" pain) and I was really constipated and then made it worse because I was a bit scared to push when it was all happening I reckon if I hadn't been two weeks late I wouldn't have known it wasn't a normal period. I didn't see or feel anything resembling a sac in what I was passing but I wasn't really looking at the toilet paper etc. But certainly the event itself wasn't distressing or painful, only emotionally of course.

I think see how you go with work etc. I found the whole thing was okay, overall, but I definitely had a couple of days where I needed to hide under the duvet and do non demanding things and I was lucky in that my job allows me to do this. In terms of the actual bleeding it wasn't debilitating and it only lasted about a week altogether.

amy sounds promising! Also what a lovely thing for DH to do.

cheeky I didn't take any time off with my natural MC at 6 weeks, but then the peak was Friday night - Sunday night when I passed the tissue, and the pain calmed down after that and I just had heavy bleeding for the next week. I am someone who can tough out a crisis and process emotionally later though, I think you need to listen to your own body and emotions. Like you it's not easy for me to take time off and I tend not to if I can help it. Like you say, if you need time off don't be a martyr though.

JPEG mine were the same last time too, I should have guessed I pg but didn't even think as I hadn't had af since the July after coming off the depo injection. With all of my other pregnancies bar the last I had only dizziness nothing else. I'm not getting my hopes up though, staying grounded.
We had a really lovely evening. Back to reality now, I've just finished ironing. Having a hot choc, reading my book then off to bed.

Amy what a lovely surprise from your DH bet that was such a nice evening! And sore boobs is promising! That happened to me when I was pg. I couldn't even tough them! Keep us posted x

Cheeky & kate thinking of you both. I've got everything crossed for you both. Life can be so cruel at times and both of you don't deserve to go through this again

DH came in from work earlier and told me we were going out. Really surprised. So he takes me to my favourite place to eat, cheap but I love it. Even more of a surprise when we walked in and all of my family were sitting there! I was so shocked! We had a lovely meal and laughed our heads off playing Chinese whispers, my dad is really deaf so what started with 'daddy delivers the wrong shopping' turned into 'daddy has a big rubber'! It was so funny.

Got in, took my bra off only to find my boobs are so sore I can't touch them. They were fine this morning and they also seem to be fuller than normal. Now I'm not reading into this but I never ever have sore boobs. The last time I had sore boobs was when I was pg last time and I didn't know I was at the time, put the soreness down to work. I can't do that this time.
I'm 11dpo today, my lp is between 12 & 15 days so if I've not got af in 5 days I'm testing. To be honest though I think it will be a bfn as I've had so many symptoms such as nausea and dizziness since my mc I don't trust any symptoms I get at all.

Good luck cheeky hope it doesn't come to that but if it does just see how you feel as you may not want to be at work. I had medical management at the hospital at 9 weeks...I started bleeding at the hospital and was a bit crampy but was the in a lot of pain when i got home - the most awful cramps...never felt anything like it. Painkillers worked after a while.

fingers crossed missclarke

I hope work is ok cheeky and I'm sure it will be a distraction especially if it's really busy. Make sure you rest as much as you can though.

missclarke fingers x for you