TTC after miscarriage thread #4

So ladies I have tentatively good news - I'm pregnant again with a clear pink line this morning. My instinctive response is to be delighted and happy, even though I've had 2 MC in the last 7 months and logically know how precarious my BFP is, my heart can't help getting excited. Wish me luck, I need it!

Thank you. We had a lovely evening out for dinner. DH work his whole kilt outfit like he had for the wedding.

First appointment at the RMC today. Wibble.

Kate we are seeing Bruce in Dublin on Friday this week. Love him. Can't wait. I hope it is good news for you on that day.

Amy and brenna thanks for looking at chart and letting me know what you think. It sounds weird and maybe just wishful thinking but I thought I had ov pain on cd25, I suppose I will have to wait and see. Feeling v crampy now so think it could be AF now. Feel relieved if it is, really not liking sense of no control.
Good tip on fertility friend for charting Amy.

That is a beautiful thought cheeky. I am not religious but need to believe there is some sense in all this loss and that is a beautiful idea, religious or not. You do sound truly remarkable. Hope you find comfort v soon.

Good luck for tomorrow Lucky!

And thanks to you all for your thoughts and words. No bleeding yet, just lots of very eggy wind. Sorry my darling husband!! My scan is on Friday 3rd, the day we see Bruce Springsteen (MY HERO). Hopefully Bruce will prove to be my angel.

Hope you are all having lovely evenings.

xx

Aww Cheeky. that is a lovely thought abut the babies dragging you to heaven. My Dad and my oldest sister both loved babies and were family orientated. Both are now dead and I can't help feeling like my babies have gone to them to keep them company and will make them very happy. I'd still like to keep a couple for myself though.

Miami, it doesn't look like you have ovulated yet to me.

Replaced? Lol that was meant to say relaxed but it could be replaced with a new me not a stressing POAS addict!

Hi all hope you're all doing ok.

Sorry cheeky hope you're ok.

Kate have my fingers crossed for you still. Are you bleeding at all?

Miami I looked at your chart, I think you o'd on cd24. Basically when temping, you look at the previous 6 days temp before the rise to establish ovulation. Seeing as the following temps are all higher than the previous 6 days cd24 looks most probable. Plus you had a pre o dip the day before too and from af to that day your temps gradually got lower. Your cover line would be about 36.33. My temps are generally around 36.4 up to 36.7 but it varies. I use fertility friend because it does all the working out for me, don't have to keep guessing.

Af is pretty good for me at the min, I'm actually enjoying being on, sounds weird but I kind of feel a sense of relief. I have been replaced this last cycle hoping to carry it on this time too. No opk's just taking my temp.

Ah right. I think there is a BBC documentary coming up, or has already been one, on the truth about e-cigarettes. I think it concluded that they are pretty safe. But maybe check it out if you haven't already?

My fella vapes and I must admit I have worried about the chemicals in his system and whether they could have passed to me. But the research does seem to suggest they are pretty safe.

Tired tonight. xx

Medical name for cot death. There is an increased chance of cot death if either parent smokes and particularly if you smoke in the house and then it gets really risky if you co-sleep. I co-slept with DS and would probably do so again because it's so helpful for breastfeeding. I know people usually give up smoking or think about cutting down/giving up when TTC so I was wondering if people had thoughts about vaping. I won't be doing it in pregnancy, I do occasionally have a go on DH's but I don't really get nicotine cravings unless I'm very drunk. He sometimes does it in bed which I don't mind but I don't know if it's a risk for babies? He vapes with nicotine so if he was going to stop he'd have to cut down on that to begin with, which to be fair, he is already doing, I just can't remember if he said he planned to stop completely.

What are SIDs Bertie?

Oh that's not a bad price at all! Perhaps internet is the way to go then.

I have this thermometer... (See pic) just type in bbt thermometer in Amazon. Pretty cheap and so far think it's accurate. It measures to 0.01

bertie that's a good aim!

Cheeky it's fine to temp if you wake often at night. I just started this month and I'm not getting much fluctuation which is good (at this stage) I was worried that I'd mess it up by wearing pyjamas/not wearing them/it being hot outside/hanging out of the duvet/cuddling DH etc and I wasn't sure if it would be worth it but I've tried and it seems okay.

I just use a cheap digital thermometer orally (Think I got one from Boots in the UK) which shows down to 0.1 of a degree. I've then used that same one on DS if he's ill under the armpit. The proper BBT thermometers show it to 0.01 but they are really expensive and I am not that bothered about it to want to invest the money, it's just curiosity really. The only thing I'd do differently is I'd buy one with an illuminated display as it's a pain trying to get my phone as a light to read it when I'm half asleep.

I've also been thinking that I'm hoping/expecting to be pregnant at new year (stage of pregnancy as yet unknown!) which will be nice when we meet up with our friends. Friend said she doesn't like drinking while she's breastfeeding so she will probably abstain with me, will be nice. We always used to be very naughty and encourage each other to smoke that won't be happening this time!

On that note, does anybody have any thoughts on vaping? I don't use one as I prefer the real thing (but have given those up too) but DH uses an e-cig fairly often at home. I don't really worry about it but do you think it's a risk for SIDS etc? I think he said he is planning to stop using it at home but not sure whether I should be asking him to clarify. He is already running around insisting that I eat and hydrate so I think he'd take my wishes into consideration. I know there isn't really any research on it yet.

Thanks for the ideas lucky. I think I'll get stuck into a book soon. Been watching Luther on Netflix and that's been a good distraction.

Jodie DPO = Days Post Ovulation

Jodie yeah this is my second miscarriage. First was in January discovered at 12 weeks (stopped growing at around 9 weeks)

Dpo is days post ovulation! I never know when I ovulate though.

No AF yet for me so testing tomorrow morning if no show by then. I am a bit crampy and nauseous, but that could mean either PMT or pregnancy.

Relaxation-wise I recommend mindfulness if you haven't already tried it. The idea is to learn to notice what's going on in the present moment without getting all caught up in it automatically, and that this helps resist the trap to feel sad about the past or worry about the future. It helps me. You could look up the headspace or smiling mind app if you have an iphone for some exercises to try.

The other things that work for me are getting lost in a good book and exercise - hill walking in particular calms me, running helps me let off steam. It also helps me to meet up with friends who don't talk about pregnancy and babies, and the occasional spa day helps. I also like having regular pleasurable events planned, like holidays, going to people's weddings, city breaks etc so there's always a non-pregnancy contingent good time just round the corner.

I've not read any books on miscarriage cheeky, I've found the best info is this thread so far, and elsewhere on mumsnet in the info sections. You sound like you're being very strong and brave in the face of a rubbish situation xx

so sorry cheeky is this your 2nd mc? such a horrible time so go easy on yourself

I'm still feeling hopeful for you kate and hope you can get +ve news soon, glad they're monitoring you

happy thoughts and positive vibes to everyone else too - hope that's right mrs that we're all on here talking about our pregnancies at christmas

brenna my bf would love that too...it's a potential bday pressie idea, thanks!!

xx

ps...sorry for think question but what does 'dpo' stand for?

Lead balloons lol!!

That's useful to know jpeg. What thermometer should I use?

Next time it could be fine. It's like a job or a partner. You only need one. One perfect conception. One healthy baby.

I'm planning a massage once the miscarriage is over. Hoping to go for a night away soon aswell. Change of scenery and all that. The month of Ramadan is fast approaching so that will also keep me busy. My first due date is 19 July and I'm planning a day of pampering to remember my baby. I've booked the day off work. I figured it would be best to tackle it head on. On a personal level I have strong faith and in my religion it says that miscarried babies will drag its parents to heaven and I love that thought. We believe we will go to heaven or hell based on our deeds. Also believe that when something is taken off you, you are granted better in its place. It's these thoughts that keep me going. At the end of July we have a family wedding and in my head if I've had period by then and feel ok, I can start to think about TTC again. By then should also have an idea of what's going on with work/promotion. I also want to start the 5:2 diet again and eat clean. Would like to lose some body fat as well because although my bmi is now in healthy range, my body fat % is really high. I've not really exercised much since my op 5 years ago. I've got a rebounder at my mums but made space in my bedroom for where I thought a cot would go (sold my chaise longue on gum tree!) so I might bring the rebounder up and use that in the meantime. It's meant to have such great health benefits.

I know the journey will be an emotional roller coaster and I'll have good and bad days but I need the above to give me some focus otherwise I'll just go nuts.

Definitely the way to think about it mrs... I need to try and relax more! For me it sounds stupid but cleaning sometimes relaxes me... Weird!

cheeky I wake in the night loads, I get up at least once and I toss and turn from about 3am... I still temp every day at 5.45 and think it does affect my temps slightly, in that they are a bit rocky, but I can still see overall rises and falls. I use fertility friend which I really like. You are so strong and positive! Glad they were nice to you and gave you hope... Next time it could be completely fine, having the MC doesn't necessarily mean it will affect next time. And that's great they will take weekly bloods.

I was SO STUPID today and took a pg test... I'm only 8dpo but I almost wanted to see a BFN so I would stop fantasising about being pregnant. My boobs are like lead balloons... Could be af though!

Yes indeed Mrs. That's the spirit. Every cycle is a new chance. Eat well exercise well and sleep well. When we do have a baby we won't remember these times. It'll all be worth it.

Just catching up now. Sorry for my short post earlier it was because work was extremely busy. It kept my mind busy which was good.

Thanks for your kind words. I think I feel better now that I know. I've also started bleeding properly so at least there is progress. It feels better knowing that I am moving forward albeit in this manner. The midwife I spoke to was nice. I asked if she thought there was a common factor between my miscarriages and expected her to say no, she did sort of but then said that its quite unusual to miscarry at 9/10 weeks but people that miscarry later in their first trimester often experience an early miscarriage because early miscarriages are very common. She didn't promise me it would be fine next time and didn't minimise the anxiety I said I would prob face. So I liked that. It's important , for me at least, to remember that the journey to a baby might not be straight forward. It might happen again, it might not. I've got every chance of it going well though. She said I can get an early scan next time at whichever point I feel best so that was also reassuring. I'll be going to me GP for weekly bloods as well next time, like they promised me now. It won't change the outcome but at least will help my anxiety.

Hopeful I've got my fingers crossed for you. You really deserve this as does everyone on this thread. Is this your third pregnancy? The waiting is definitely the hardest though.

Bertie that sounds good - reconnecting or even just connecting with friends is great.

Insufficiently I drove to the Hosp but this is bus driver just smiled at me when I was turning. It felt like someone was understanding my pain, in a weird way.

Mrs - I was hoping for a baby this year too but we could still be heavily pregnant by the end of the year. There is hope! Don't lose it.

I've decided I would like to temp but I often wake up during the night so not sure if that messes it up?

I don't think I want to POAS so OPKs can do one.

What do you guys do to relax? Any suggestions? Also has anyone read any books on miscarriage?