TTC after miscarriage thread #4

And I am so glad the pain is manageable. Hope it continues and you can put all this behind you v quickly xxx

cheeky I can TOTALLY sympathise. Some, literally a few, of my friends have been amazing but the rest have been pretty absent. I don't blame them as they don't fully understand but it would be nice if they at least acknowledged how f*cking painful this is for me and my DH, which they don't seem to really.

That is why these threads are invaluable. I think you are all amazing!

xx

Oh cheeky I'm so sorry your friends have been like that... Mine were exactly the same, the one token message then no real mention of it. I guess purple just don't understand, but that's no excuse. They should be visiting your or at least calling to see if you are ok.

I understand you not telling mil... I wouldn't either!!

I hope the cramps go away soon!

Just leaving work and feeling so tired today. The bleeding feels like a period albeit heavier but like Brenna said the cramps are brutal. I've been keeping on top of the painkillers and not letting myself suffer. It's not been as bad as it could've been overall.

I told my three best friends (whose parents are my parents best friends and we've known each other since we were babies so they are pretty much family really) that I've miscarried again. One of them doesn't have kids but the other two do (one of which who is due her 4th child on July 4th - 2 weeks before my first due date and she didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until she was 25 weeks because she was apparently worried about me). Anyway i told them via a group what's app and they all replied saying oh no sorry to hear etc but nothing since. This was on Tuesday.

I feel quite hurt actually. I told them because they are like my sisters but not one of them has text since asking how I am physically or mentally. They acknowledged it but that's it. I wouldn't have bothered telling them if I knew they were going to react like that - I've had much much better support and comforting words from strangers on here. People who have read messages from me for the first time have sent kind messages. I get they might not know what to say but they could've just said how are you, thinking of you.

I feel a bit foolish because we decided not to tell mil as she gets all worried and is still talking about the first miscarriage and I know DH might be a bit hurt had he realised I've told my friends when I've been harping on about not telling people.

Wishing you the best of luck insufficiently! It's a scary time, desperate to get preg and then when you see the line the anxiety takes over :(

Hopeful I hope you are ok, thinking of you xxx

JPEG it ain't over till it's over!

My DH is like that too Insufficient.

Superdrug get a good rating here:

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/brand-chart.php?hptbrandid=47

Hey everyone. I don't think I'll be using the early responses after my experience this time. I would prefer to get a proper positive on a test wth sensitivity of 25 once AF is overdue.

I'm saying that now but let's see what happens! I think your right. I'll probably not prevent but not actively try once this bleeding finishes. It's so demoralising going back to contraception don't you think?

Well ^ stupid autocorrect

Ic I've never had proper positives on cheap tests. I never used them with dd because we caught first month so I just bought frer and then CB digital. My friend gave me a load last time and I was getting BFN on them after cb digital said 1-2. This time CB digital said 2-3 then I bought some super drug cheapie tests (2 tests for £3.49) so I could see a line. I did one in the evening and one the next day with fmu and although the second one was darker, I didn't get a line as dark as the control on either. That was Saturday, today cb digital says 3+. I'm 5 weeks today so freaking out about high levels of hcg but that is another story. Sorry. I'm not helping you to avoid Super drug am I? My dh is exactly the same - always says I should wait a week after a missed af to test. How exactly does he expect me to get through that week? He means we'll but he doesn't get it!

Hope it's implantation miami!!!

I am 10dpo... I have now been cramping every day since ov. I'm also sooooo moody and up and down. Last night I had a go at my bf for no reason... Temp massively dipped today too... Guess the witch is on her way!!!

Oh also your dp is only trying to protect yourself and himself from the trauma of it all, but of course you have to test before you are a week late. How does he expect you to be able to do ANYTHING without knowing one way or the other.
I shouldn't but am getting excited for you. Hope the witch stays away and it goes well when you decide to test.

Cheeky DH works away a lot so we decided that missing a cycle would make me even more stressed. I took the tablets to instigate the mc so I was quite stressed out about retained products but I relaxed hugely once I got a bfn on the 16th May and then my body started to seem like it wanted to ovulate. Also when my temp finally went down to below 36.4 so I could see that temp wise my body also was trying to play ball.
So we haven't been super dtd or anything, just haven't been intervening to stop conception if that makes sense.
Go with how you feel.
ic I suppose it could be implantation. Last time I didn't have bleeding at that point (at every other stage but not during tww). I did have a temp dip last time at 9dpo which I read up on and thought reflected implantation. If it is I will take it as a good sign that it is a different symptom. Although my sister has already warned me to not symptom compare/ hunt as it just makes you mental.

Sorry Miami, that was very recent. I hadn't realised. Did you miscarry naturally? Yes I agree! There is absolutely no pattern and on top of it , it differs for different people too! are you TTC or are you waiting a cycle? I don't think I'll be waiting more than one cycle. Would like to TTC without even waiting for a cycle but do you guys suggest that's stressful in terms of not knowing /waiting for potential period or pregnancy? Last miscarriage I got my period exactly 5 weeks after and they told me it should arrive between 4-6 weeks.

Cheeky mc was 26th April. I was at 9 wks by that stage. Weird things happening today. My temp has gone up, so this can't be AF?! From what I understand of temping anyway. If I did ovulate on the day I think I did then today is 7dpo. I had light spotting when I wiped last night and what could only be described as cervical pain, which is why I thought it was the witch. Temp only gone up to 36.51 (so still lower than previous cycles post ov). No wonder there are so many chat rooms and books about miscarriage, there is no pattern is there? Just a big mess of crazy hormones playing tricks with your body and mind!!

Miami can understand you are feeling down. New cycle = another opportunity to conceive. When was your miscarriage?

Amy thanks for that little pep talk. As you say, can't let miscarriage define us xx

Congrats to lucky & missclarke!

Miami sorry af came.

Kate I hope you're ok.

Brenna glad your appointment went well and you have a plan of action.

I can't remember who was saying about pregnancy after mc earlier in the thread and the feeling that it will never happen. Once I also felt like that, that I would never have a baby after I lost my twin boys. I did, my DD was conceived 8 months after I had the twins and apart from the initial stress of losing her twin I had a good pregnancy. My second DD was conceived 13 months after having dd1. I have had miscarriages, recurrent ones for no known reason but it can and will happen.
I am quite a positive person, I try my upmost to stay in this place I'm at now as at the deepest of my sadness 10 years ago I was not me. My experiences of mc at various stages have made me a much stronger person, but I don't let them define me. Obviously I get sad and think 'why me?' At times and I remember each and every baby that could have been here now. I try to make these in to happy thoughts, think about them as little people, who they would look like and if they would be like my dd's. My babies are with my nana, grandad's and my little cousin up there now as our guardian angels. I know they're happy and watching over us.
I used to go to spiritualist evenings a long time ago when my dd1 was a baby, I had been going for a few weeks and was dues to go again. I was angry that I hadn't been picked out for a reading and shouted at the hand and footprints the hospital had given me when I had my sons. I said 'all I want to know is if you're ok! Why won't you tell me if you're ok?!' That evening I got picked out. The gentleman said my name clearly 'Amy' just shouted it out, he said 'to the question you asked earlier, yes we are ok!' I never went again!

Thanks cheeky. I had been expecting AF but still has completely taken me by surprise. Suddenly emotionally am a wreck again, not quite as bad after the mc, but still not good. Just feels so sad. Anyway sorry just feeling sorry for myself now. I am sure I will be fine tomorrow.
Good luck with getting hold of consultant and figuring out what the appt is for. Hopefully all a positive step for you.

Congrats Miss Clarke!! You were on the July thread same time as me weren't you? So pleased for you.

Hopeful - I'm so sorry your going through this. And don't be silly about being negative. Feel free not to respond if you don't feel up to it but remind me of your story please? I know you were considering IVF before this pregnancy and it was a nice surprise. It's not over yet! It's tough when your in limbo and you are being so brave. See what the consultant says too. I Hope he gets back to you...I think gut feeling can be right and when you 'face' up to your subconscious thoughts it can feel like a weight is lifted. Don't lose hope. Virtual hugs.

Insufficiently - hope it's good news for you. Good luck!!

Miami sorry to hear about the witch.

JPEG I'm not sure what the appt is for yet. I don't really get it. Will give them a call tomorrow. It would be great if it was a referral. Part of me feels the miscarriages could be something to do with not having 80% of the pancreas and spleen. They told me at my op that it wouldn't affect fertility though but perhaps it's left some weakness.

And the witch has arrived!!

Congratulations missclarke!!! Definitely positive.

kate I think you are being so amazingly strong and also have such a good attitude about such a hard situation, letting nature take its course sounds like a good idea either way. And it sounds like you have a plan IF this pregnancy is not successful. Make sure you're taking good care of yourself

cheeky I'm glad you have been given a referral, that's really good of them and also hopefully it gives you something to focus on. Glad the cramping isn't too bad but sorry about the bleeding.

brenna glad your appointment went well, it's great you are getting all of that support.

Definitely a line missclark congratulations.