Hardly any sperm - in shock, please help me

Hi,
I have experience in this area and my hear goes out to you. I know what its like to be told about low (or non existant) sperm count. Our Dr was very insensitive and actually put it to us that "we would never have any babies2 so I went home and felt suisidal for a weekend., they pack you off with very little information.
I found Child very helpful. You can talk to people on the phone in the same situation as you, which is wonderful when you are really going through the mill. I must admit I leaned on them on and off a few times.
I am now way down the road. It took ages to get over the berevement that it is to realise you may not have your own kids, but we decided we wanted kids anyway we could. when I was at this stage ICSI was in its early stages, and they said my husband was not eligiable. So that left us with adoption or DI. I worried for ages that DI would not be the same, but a wonderful woman on the phone once said to me that this man gives you a magic bit of stuff and it makes your dreams come true. So I went ahead. I thought Id see the child looking different from my hubby and hate to see it, but this is so far from the truth! I now have three sons, all from the same donor. Most peopple do not know, but my kids to. Its funny how people see my husband in them, they have looks of me (obviously) but they also resemble him...so maybe its nurture? They pick up habits etc. My husnband also was able to inseminate me each time which helped. He can honestly say he made me pregnant. My children are magic, so please please please although it may seem insensitive of me, even if yours is worst case senario, it is really not that bad! I know you wont believe me, but i know the devistation I went through and now if I could tell myself then what I know now, I wouldnt have felt quite so bad!
If I can ever help you in any way please mail me direct. Im happy to offer support, and ear, help whatever....
The thing is to share the problem. We did. We always did every test on either of us together. It was "Our" problem, not mine or his. It makes you stronger and boy you find out if you are destined to stay together orr not. They say people who go through this are less likely to split up. I can believe it!
My eldest son is now 13 and I have another 2 or 10 and 4. So never never say never!
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Love and ball the best....

Hi kirton, good news that the op went well. I don't know very much about varioceles - but it does look as though the procedure usually restores fertility - so he may be right.

I can understand you're need to know where you stand though - and having investigations of both of us because we knew that my fertility was compromised was the best thing we did - it would have taken ages to find out about DP's subfertility if we hadn't. And although the chances are you'll both be fine, it is commoner than you'd think for both partners to have issues. And we ended up using the information to bring our attempts to conceive forwards as a result of the diagnosis. I was very conscious that my age was a key factor in any treatment - but I was a good 2 years older than you at diagnosis.

Persuading him to go for it is another matter though - could you put it to him as making sure that the variocele hadn't recurred?

Also, DH's sperm count is probably due to a genetic thing, so all we can do is work with what we've got!

Thanks Firepile and Booboobedoo. DH already takes zinc, selenium, Vitamin C, Omega 3,6,9 and various other things which I've forgotten. No harm in adding a few brazil nuts or oysters to our diet though is there

Zinc: oysters.

Selenium: brazil nuts.

That's great news about the quick treatment, Kirton - fingers crossed for next week.

Littlefish - have you checked out Zita West's stuff? From memory, zinc and selenium deficiencies are implicated in male infertility.

He had to inject menopur twice a week (think that's FSH), and HCG 3 times a week. He got it on the NHS due to his condition - it costs hundreds of pounds a week privately.

I think if the man has a sperm count, then the HCG alone should be effective (which is much cheaper), although it depends what he's deficient in to begin with.

When we were ttc, he drank very little, quit smoking and ate lots of red meat and oysters.

After I conceived he started drinking more again and stopped watching his diet. We've frozen some sperm for next time, but they weren't nearly such good qualilty, probably due to his change in lifestyle. ICSI for us next time, I think.

Booboodedoo. Do you mind me asking what fertiity treatment your dh had? We eat an organic diet, avoid alcohol, caffeine, sweetners and as many other additives as possible. We also both have acupuncture. I'm just always interested if there is anything else we could be doing.

Kirton - so sorry to hear you're going through this. Just wanted to share my positive story with you.

My DH has a rare condition that means he doesn't produce any sperm at all. He told me this a month after we started seeing each other. I'd always wanted kids, but DH is the lovliest man I've ever met, and his condition was not really a consideration for me when deciding on whether to stay with him or not.

Anyway, he had fertility treatment for 18 months, and got his sperm count up to half a million. I was pregnant four months later!

So 2,000,000 sounds great!

When you actually get round to trying to conceive there are lots of things he can do with his diet/lifestyle to improve sperm motility and form. I know it's tough, but try to stay positive!

Sorry for the delay - I have been working and trying to avoid feeding my MN habit...

I can certainly remember the sicky feeling as we peered into an uncertain future, Kirton. There's no way of getting round it - it is really hard.

I'm struck by the similarities in our attitudes, too. We didn't want kids then either - I only agreed to be investigated at all because I knew I wanted chilldren at some point. And I had always said that I wouldn't consider IVF - but being faced with the information that it just wasn't going to happen naturally, focussed the mind somewhat on timescales and methods.

Hopefully you won't have to go through this at all, though, because the operation will restore DH's sperm to normal levels. Do you know when the treatment will take place yet?

Hi Kirton, sorry things are so hard at the moment. I just wanted to give you some hope. Due to a number of different factors, my dh has a really low sperm count with poor motility and morphology. We were told ICSI/IVF was our only way forward.

After ttc for 2.5 years, we conceived naturally, without having to have IVF. It can happen!!!!!! Dd is now 2.2yrs old and gorgeous!

Hi Kirton.
One of my cousins had some sort of testicular problem a while back. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but he had reduced fertility because of it. He and his wife had a baby using ICSI, where a single healthy sperm is selected and injected directly into the egg. So, as long as your DH is producing some healthy sperm, there's a real chance that ICSI will work should you need to go down that road.
Good luck to you both, and hope DH's op goes well x

How are you feeling, Kirton? It's been a while since you posted, and I wondered how you were getting on.

Things sound like they were OK midweek, but it took me a while to get my head round what was happening - I was very up and down.

i just read back what i wrote and i'm concerned that it came across as a bit practical when what you needed was sympathy... it is shit when we realise that our fertility isn't as straightforward as we'd expected (or even as it is for the pregnant co-workers and family members you suddenly seem surrounded by). i do hope that dh's op works well, and am glad you are pulling togehter at an upsetting time.

Kirton, am so sorry to hear this news. I think it?s always a devastating blow when you receive the new that there?s a problem and that future children may be not as easy to conceive as first thought. However at least your dh has found this out before you have been down the road of ttc for years and so you can go into ttc knowing that things might not be as straightforward and can therefore mentally prepare yourselves for that beforehand. With some luck the operation will be successful and there won?t be anything to worry about. One thing that I will say though is that although I know your world is currently falling apart, it is very important that you are there for your dh at this time.

For men being diagnosed with a low sperm count can be more devastating that women. It somehow makes them feel less of a man if they?re not able to father a child, and it can make them think less of themselves.

My dh was diagnosed with a low sperm count in August, and for about a week I wandered around with realization that all my thoughts about not being able to have another baby had been realized, whereas before I?d still held this belief that just maybe it would happen. But my dh was devastated. He would never admit it in as many words, but he?s regularly said things like ?we can?t have another one because I?m a jaffer?, or that he?s ?shooting blanks?, and even said that he wouldn?t blame me if I decided to leave him and find someone who could give me a baby. (like I could just walk out on my marriage and find someone else ). Although I was hurting inside, the most important thing was for me to reassure my dh that I didn?t think any less of him, that I didn?t love him any less and that I didn?t hold him responsible for the fact we are unable to have another child. In reality I couldn?t even put pressure on him to have any kind of treatment. I did buy some vitamin supplements (fertility plus) over the net to try and improve things, but he reacted badly to them so I insisted he stop taking them. Ultimately, what he decided to do about things is his decision, and I respect that. It?s only now that he?s decided he wants to have things checked out further, I?ve never put on any pressure, I will support him in everything he does, but it?s his body and he has to decide.

Yes the future is about you two, and your ability to have a baby together, but for the now it?s about your dh and what he is going through.

Good luck xx

Kirton, I am sorry that you are feeling so sad. I remember how I felt when I found out that both my dp and I are subfertile. (We knew about me, and were having investigations because of that, but I just wasn't prepared for the news that my dp had low sperm count and motility too.) I cried a lot when I found out.

It was a horrible, lonely, all-consuming feeling of fear and uncertainty.

I think it is also very hard for men to be told that there is a problem. I know that my DP felt that he had let me down. I imagine that most men would struggle with the idea that their sperm was below average. Is your DH able to speak to you about it? Or does he not want to talk about it at all? I found that talking to my DP was really important, even though he found it hard.

But you definitely need to get support from other places too. If your DH really doesn't want people to know in RL, I'd really recommend getting support from an internet forum (the Fertility Friends website is pretty good, as well as MN). I know I really needed to talk about what was happening. And whether you tell people in RL or on the net, I found that people really were rooting for us. Our friends and families were very supportive. I was really surprised about how many people I knew who turned out to have had fertility problems of some sort.

I also found it helpful to think about some of the positives - in our case, we knew what the problems were, there was a treatment that might work (IVF using ICSI), and I was relatively young. It sounds as though you might be in a similar position on these points - with the option of the surgery (and Zita West) improving DH's sperm, too.

Good luck. We're here if you need us.

zita west is a genius, and there are things you can do to improve the calibre of the ones he's got. and if push comes to shove, there is icsi as a safety net.

Kirton:

Hugs for you 0. I have a male friend who is mid thirtees and he had a testicle removed due to cancer when he was 26 and after that he has had 3 children. My best friends husband had a similar operation and they told him 50% chance as well and they got pg 3 times after his surgery, so it worked well. I'm sure he will be fine and the surgery will do wonders. I'm sure the test results after the surgery will be a great improvement.

It only takes one determined little sperm to make a baby!

Lots of men with only one testicle manage to have children.

Try not to panic just yet.

Log on to The Zita West website - just google her - and she has lots of advice. There are natural ways to improve sperm count and quality.

That may help.

But if not - I have one DS who is now 5 and my DH has a verylow sperm count. My DS was conceived through IVF.

The only thing I would say is that if it turns out you do need IVF try not to wait too long as your age will play a part too.

Having said that I conceived DS when I was 36 but have just tried again at 42 and it didn't work. Down to me this time as am not producing enough eggs.

Good luck.