TTC for 10 months or more, and now we're moving onto thread 4! Ten plussers welcome!

I hope it goes ok Lucie and you don't ahve tot have the injection.

Rebecca I have just realised I didn't say thanks for your concern upthread. So rude of me thank you very much.

Bleeding completely stopped last night (although I did get a tiny bit more this morning after we DTD. Only 3 more days until I can take a test and check it is all over fully.

Thanks MPP, just off to the hospital now. Lovely way to spend our long bank holiday weekend! I think the reason is probably because there is still some embryo left over and it's still chucking out hcg but will update later when I see what they have to say x

I have to go back to the hospital today to see the doctor. I know they are going to try and force that injection onto me which I don't want. My levels are still really low so I don't know. I just want it to be over but then on the other hand I don't want to take the really toxic injection.

Lucie? That's so annoying. What's the next step then? Xx

star 😂😂😂😂

Stealth!! Erm, I can totally understand why you can't believe it, but it is totally happening and it is GOOD news. Nothing you do or worry about will affect what happens so you may as well enjoy it and maybe go home, write off today and start again tmrw.

Brenna, all the hugs and good wishes. If it is indeed over, I hope that it is quick and straightforward and you get your referral asap.

Lucie, wtf? Surely this means there is something left? How can it go up like that if not solely to torture you?!

Omg, stealth it was so funny. I was also very bemused - he was 3 days old and I was going... Have I been breastfeeding him?
my partner: Yes.
Am I breastfeeding him now??
Er, no.

WHA?? X post lucie. How is this happening??

Hi ladies - am having an absolutely shocking day at work and therefore working myself into a stressed frenzy about everything, including the fact that of COURSE I'm not going to hold onto this pregnancy because why would that happen. Someone give me an almighty slap and tell me to get a grip please!

lucie annoying that you don't get the clarity, but good that you have a treatment plan. Also good that you might be able to squeeze in a frostie in June.

star, sorry but bahahahahahaha. That is hilarious. Dreams are so weird.

brenna

banana was going to say you are the queen of the wheatgrass! Bleurgh.

Beta has gone from 107 to 148 in the last week

Sorry I will reply properly to everyone, owe a big personals post to all you lovely ladies

lucie I did fresh wheatgrass shots before the last cycle, although I'm sceptical as to whether they actually do anything at all. There's no evidence whatsoever that they do in fact reduce FSH, apart from anecdotal Internet lore, so it may just be a load of infertility woo

However, I will obv throw anything at the problem and if nothing else I reckon it maybe falls under the category of 'if it tastes this bad it must be doing me good!'

I think the theory (if it does in fact do anything) is that as a phytoestrogen it may artificially suppress FSH, so a bit like a v v v weak natural version of estrogen priming

Anyway, I tried em. Bought frozen shots from the big juice company Ltd (or something like that), tastes like lawn cuttings but it's the most convenient way.

Oh what my life has become that once it was sambuca shots and now it's frigging wheatgrass!!

Obv stop when you start stims - if it does indeed work to suppress FSH you don't want that while you're stimming!!

Has anyone done wheatgrass before IVF?....Banana? I've been told it's worth trying as meant to lower your fsh. Not that mine is particularly high but someone said it may be worth a go if I'm not responding as well. I don't know if fresh, frozen, powdered or tablet is best though?

I'm sorry you are still bleeding and have no cause Lucie.

Star I am too early for a scan. I'm still bleeding although it has slowed down a lot from Tuesday. I doubt there is any hope at all really. I am to wait until the start of next week and do another test to make sure it has gone negative. If it hasn't then I have to go and get scanned.

Hey sammy, sorry about the baby bomb - they are hell. Glad you're feeling a bit better and I understand you not wanting to see pregnant friends. I'm seeing my best friend trmrw and would really like to cancel so I don't have to pretend to be happy or be rude and ignore her pregnancy! I had a meeting yesterday and a woman from another dept turned up clearly about 8 months pregnant. With her first I was all: ooh congratulations! When are you due! Etc. Yesterday, I didn't even acknowledge her massive belly once. I actually don't care how much of a bitch I am now.

Stealth, what good news. Glad to hear all is progressing nicely and the progesterone dropping is nothing to worry about.

Banana, glad all went well with the hysteroscopy and there's an explanation for ur ongoing saga. Hope the soreness has subsided now and the after effects of the anaesthetic. Fingers crossed your hcg is 0 and you can get going in 2 weeks.

Brenna, I'm so so sorry you're still bleeding. I can't believe what hell you ladies who waited so long for a bfp are still having to go through. Do you think there is still chance all is ok? Can you get scanned anywhere?

Lucie, sorry there was no explanation for the mc but I guess it is true that they are very common. It's just so cruel after everything you went through to get here. I can't believe you're still bleeding - did she say anything abou when that might stop so you can crack on with your Czech plan?

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. The anxiety continues as I reach 8 days from my appt. Last night I dreamt we had a baby boy. We were really happy and loved him but he looked like morph from Hart Beat. I eventually said that I was worried that he has a head like an alien and no nose, and my partner was like: yeah, he's fucked!

Haha! My first infertility anxiety dream??!

Had my appt, as I thought she couldn't say a lot. Thought this was a very early miscarriage and unfortunately just one of those things. She said they had expected to get more eggs as my AMH and other hormone levels are not too bad but she said maybe that's just the way my ovaries are. She said next time they will change my protocol to Gonal f only and put me on 350iu instead of 300iu and also do antagonist with cetrotide rather than the short flare with suprecur. I don't think any of it will make much difference as I've tried various protocols over the last year and had exactly the same with all of them apart from our very first cycle when I responded fairly well and got 7 eggs with 6 fertilised. Maybe after that my body got used to the drugs and just doesn't respond to them as well now I don't know. I have a treatment planning appt booked in for 19th July and provided all is back to normal with my cycles we should be able to start on my next cycle after that. That leaves me a bit of time to do either a frostie in Czech or the mini IVF in an attempt to get another frostie to add to the collection so at least I have that bit sorted in my head now and know NHS round is likely to be August. Just need to stop this bleeding now and get things back to normal and then I can think about June / July. Had another beta done and they will ring me with the results this afternoon so hopefully that will have gone down some more.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Got it. Was just wondering whether you knew of a clotting issue or something.

Ah sorry stealth. I haven't had the level 1s. I was going to have them done in Czech as it's only around £100 for all of them but as I'm having all the immune treatment anyway I haven't bothered as I don't really see what it would achieve although it would be interesting to know.

I meant more the level 1 immunes type tests lucie (sorry I can't remember if you had them already).

Good luck today x

Banana, so glad it all went ok and he managed to get a little bit more out. Hopefully that's it for you now and the betas will fall quickly. If you were only 80 odd on Tuesday it should definitely be around zero by your next appt I would have thought. Will be interesting to see what mine are today. They were 107 a week ago.

Brenna, so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't rush back to work. Hope you are able to take it easy over he weekend.

Stealth, I didn't have any tests done on the embryo if that's what you mean as they couldn't find it. I imagine the appt today will be to go over my next protocol which is likely to involve switching to Gonal rather than Menopur. He will probably say the same as everyone else that miscarriage is very common and it was unlucky etc etc.

Brenna - I'm so sorry for the bleeding, and for your bosses announcement. It sounds like he was as nice as possible about it, but I'm sure it still stings. Look after yourself lively. If you need another day off take it.

Stealth - the only plus side to using the bs k entrance for the pessaries is not having to lay down for half an hour after inserting them! No one wants to lay on the floor in the work loos!

Banana - I'm so glad you have such a lovely consultant. And glad he found something to explain this never ending saga you've been going through. How quickly would you expect yours numbers to get to zero now?
Hope you're feeling better after a good nights sleep. Xx

Sorry for me me me, will reply properly tomorrow - I have read your posts and send hugs to you all (especially Brenna)

Everything went OK today - hysteroscopy with curettage sounds so much more elegant than D&C with vag cam.

The good news is that there were indeed some teeny fragments of retained tissue, so minute that makes sense they didn't show up on ultrasound. Consultant said he might have got them first time round if he'd given the bowl a damn good scraping clean - but as I've said before, that would have left my lining in tatters, which would have been a disaster.

He said he took quite a while because he wanted to be really super gentle, even with the camera, so it was definitely worth doing - now everything's had a clean and polish hopefully will get on track. Everything looked in decent nick apparently, he's done the biopsy which will serve as a turbo scratch - dunno what the lab look for but anyway it'll get the once over

Follow up for 2 weeks when he'll scan me. If hormones are normal and ovaries are quiet then we can crack on. Will email secretary to see if I can come in for a beta or two in the mean time.

Feeling pretty sore (was a surgical rather than diagnostic hysteroscopy) but relieved nothing sinister. Just achey and with post anaesthesia blues!

Xx

Sorry lucie I missed your post. The consultant is ok with it as he says the important thing is my hcg level, which is high and doubling as required.

I've done a bit of frantic Googling research and it seems that I really shouldn't be too worried. 27 is a perfectly normal level of progesterone so even if it didn't go up I would be able to sustain a pregnancy. I have to remember that with a medicated fet you don't have a corpus luteum to generate progesterone so it really is just about monitoring and managing dosage of the pessaries. Plus it's possible that one of the tests caught me at a peak/trough moment of absorption. And the doctor has now mandated that all cyclogest has to go up my jacksie, so I've officially graduated to bum bullets . And, yes, at lunchtime too sammy! Hopefully all will be well when I next go back for my test on Thursday week, but yes it is stressful - I was hoping this might be it til our first scan.

brenna sounds like you are having a horrid time of it. Glad you seem to have a sympathetic boss, even if he has the worst timed baby news ever.

lucie will be v interested to hear the report from the follow up. Did you have any tests done?

Brenna, I'm so sorry. I can't think of anything to say that isn't useless but wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

The bleeding was heavy and clotted all day yesterday and moderate all day today. I really think it is all over. Even worse I went back to work and popped my head around my boss' office door to let him know I was back and that it wasn't good news and he told me that he and his wife were expecting a baby in July. He was really apologetic about telling me then and there but he knew that others of the bosses knew and he was worried that the rumour mill would reach me. They hadn't said before as they lost one last year and his wife didn't want to tell anyone until after the anatomy scan. He was so upset telling me like that but I managed to keep a smile on my face and say congratulations and reassure him that he was allowed to have good news, then I went back to my office and cried. I kind of wish I hadn't gone back in today now. It was all a bit raw to deal with stuff like that. However I would have had to throw out experiments had I not. This evening I am crampy and sore, plus achy from this cold I have and totally and utterly exhausted to the core. I am on short days this week though as the boss wants me to try and take it easy.