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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

965 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 07/03/2016 22:50

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
Original poster
StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 15:18

fx it's mainly down to the amount of lads who we've known who take clomid and pregnyl to jump start their balls after a cycle of steroids. It's sad but they're really easy to get hold of! Dh won't take them thank fuck he's an absolute pussy when it comes to injections (watching him have a tetanus was one of THE funniest things I've ever had the joy to witness, he nearly fainted, it's the tiniest needle possible! He came with me when we first got together to have my depo jab, he sat to sit outside in a cool breeze once he'd seen it was an intramuscular! )

kwick I've never been pregnant before but I'm very interested to see if he manages to sniff it out! I'm not due af till the 21st -24th so we've got a while yet! How are you doing today?

OP posts:
Canters15 · 08/03/2016 15:17

Hello!! Can I dip my toe back in here? I was on the thread at the start, but it was going sooooooo fast and there were sooooooo many early days of trying bfps that I retreated! Soz. Am I forgiven?

Anyhow. Canters, age 29, currently TTC no 1. On cycle 4-5 depending on how we define things, and currently 8dpo. Hads chemical on cycle 2/3, but otherwise no luck so far.

Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 15:11

islandgirl why are you taking royal jelly?

Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 15:04

starky has DH smelled you preggers b4? I do want to encourage the cray-cray but when is af due?

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 14:46

Thanks everyone - really appreciate all of your support. I have decided to scale back the amount of time I spend working, as some of it is optional but I think I'd rather not have the money right now. starky I really love that your DH is into it to the point of illegally hustling hormones. I doubt my OH even knows that hormones are involved, let alone knowing what clomid is.

My cat is one, Hep, he's either found a new home (fingers crossed) or he's stuck in a chimney, or worse. I did put the litter box right next to the open window, but I am scared it will fall out and distribute cat litter all over everyones doorsteps!! Thanks for the advice though

petite don't be fooled, we've pretty much all gone loopy here. Lol guys, remember in thread 1 when we said we were going to be super chill about the whole thing.

tinypapertiger · 08/03/2016 14:36

Haha, petite I love that idea! I wish we could all do that together in this group! Someone needs to invent teleportation, and quick.

petiteange28 · 08/03/2016 14:24

Thanks Bryson and Tiny. So nice to hear it's not just me slowly going loopy (my husband thinks I am already taking it too seriously - particulary when I bought him a present of Wellman Conception Blush).

My best friend and I have started a monthly meeting first week of the month where we basically drink copious amounts of wine once we have had a BFN (I think I got that right - this is my first time on Mumsnet so getting used to the lingo).

tinypapertiger · 08/03/2016 14:10

And welcome petite!

tinypapertiger · 08/03/2016 14:06

FX god that sounds like an impossible lifestyle. How do you do it?! You must be wonderwoman! It sounds like maybe your DH needs to share the responsibilities a bit better, like by making you dinner for when you get home?

For us, I find 'spicing up' is all about the talk. Nothing turns me on more than DH talking to me about what he likes, and what we could do together (sorry, poss TMI?). Sexy lingerie gets me nowhere, really, as getting dressed/undressed is never at a sexy time, and by the time we're getting undressed for DTD we're already well on our way, iykwim?

Cailler Woo! I'm really excited to have found someone else in a similar position! I think I'll be joining you for the crash course in pregnancy-German, if I ever manage the pregnancy bit. I also dread something bad happening during the process, and being surrounded by medics talking over my head and understanding nothing. It would be terrifying. Luckily DH speaks better German than me, and I am still studying and improving, so I guess things can only get better. I'm sure Swiss doctors all speak excellent English, though. So you should be OK. I hope the same applies in Germany.

I've been here nearly a year now. How about you? I've also heard good things about the German healthcare system and childbirth especially. (The only downside is the cost - give me the NHS any day.) I'm just so bloody impatient to actually give it a go now! I want to get my money's worth, you know?

And starky fingers crossed your DH is onto something this month. I really hope so. That nose of his is priceless!

Brysonette · 08/03/2016 14:04

I've now invested in opks as I actually have no idea when I ovulate.
My dh finds even every other day too much for him so every, roughly, three days it is! He finds dirty talk hilarious - not exactly the effect I'm after Hmm.

I feel like you petite - when we started when I was just 34 I felt fine about my age but at 36 (nearly 37) and not much luck I'm panicking a lot now Sad If this cycle doesn't work, its off to the GP I pop since the mmc was almost a year ago now!

Original poster
StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 13:59

fx there might be something to that you know. They are so convinced that they have super jizz that it knocks their confidence when it doesn't you don't get a positive pregnancy test 20 minutes after dtd the fist time. Mine started googling how to get hold of black market clomid in cycle 2! I told him if he starts buying fertility aids off 'Dave-down-the-gym' ill castrate him myself! I am preparing myself for a single baby, not sextuplets a la Jon and Kate plus 8! You rant away, mate! This is our sage space for being irritated by dh's (dickhead husbands!) Flowers

OP posts:
HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 13:58

fx i missed this. how old is your little mog? there are various tricks like leaving his/her dirty cat litter outside your house to try to attract them back .... i'll see if i can find the list of advice.

Original poster
StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 13:50

Hand thus, my next round of Google search is born jem

'Can my husband smell if I'm pregnant?' 😁

fx oh noooo! Have you found little mog?
ever Flowers

OP posts:
FXSkip · 08/03/2016 13:48

Starky I love the sound of your DH. You need to be writing a blog for sure!!

I wonder if mine feels a little deflated after his 'superjizz' didn't upduff me the minute I came off the pill. I really can't get him to talk about how he feels though

Thanks Jem, I understand the logistics of getting him turned on. My point is that I get up at 5.30am and don't get home from work until 9.30pm. In the 8 hours I am home I need to make dinner, get my gear ready for the next day, get clean, get my fancy knickers on, get the tunes, spend time bigging up his ego not to mention actually doing the deed, and then try and get enough sleep to have the energy to do it all again - its just unfair, that's all. I know we all face challenges, so sorry for ranting!! Its the way we have engineered our lives so now we need to get on with it and make it work somehow.

petiteange28 · 08/03/2016 13:43

Petiteange28
Age: 35
TTC #1
Cycle #3

AF due at the end of the month with annoying 31 day cycles meaning the process is even longer!!!

Only got married in December (after being together for 5 years) and desperate for a minion!

Already driving myself mad after only 3 cycles....I'm an only child and don't want an only child myself (I hate it) but am worried that being 35 and only just starting I am leaving it late to have multiple minions!

GAH!

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 13:33

IMAGINE if your DH could detect pregnancy stark. We'd all have to borrow him for our TWW!

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 13:32

fxskip posted above but I find the following aid quality DTD

  • sexy music playlist
  • different times of day (before dinner is good, I hate sex on a full tummy)
  • trying to up dirty talk - surprisingly effective!

I did buy some new bits of underwear too which have helped sporadically

Original poster
StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 13:19

Dh would make a crap woman. He is a male symptom spotter! Twice yesterday he came up near me and inhaled and went "you're not ovulating anymore, but you do smell different, PREGNANT!" Then, I was in the shower "your boobs are massive, you're probably pregnant" then whilst musing to himself out loud "I couldn't have shot more up there if I'd tried, you're definitely pregnant" a little while later I was having a warm moment (I sleep strip, so had managed to unbutton my PJ top, take it off, and put it back on, but back to front) I woke up sweating my bollocks off "if you're having g a hot flush, it's probably because you're pregnant! "

Needless to say, he still hasn't accepted that his balls are not in the right frame of mind to make quality sperm!

OP posts:
Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 13:14

Welcome inspector and lucky

ever so sorry to hear about argument with DH.... I really hope you can sort things out.

fxskip sorry to hear about your kittycat.

islandgirl99 · 08/03/2016 13:00

Ni I take:

  • a pre-conception vitamin
  • EPO up to ovulation, flaxseed oil after ovulation
  • royal jelly (2 a day)
  • cassava root with folic acid (2 a day)
  • maca root
  • ubiquinol (CoQ-10) which is an anti-oxidant that can increase egg quality, especially in old women over 35

I only added the royal jelly, cassava, maca & ubiquinol to my routine shortly before ISW this cycle, so I'm already telling myself that if it hasn't worked this month then maybe next month will be the one cos they'll be fully in my system by then.

Anyone know of anything I'm missing?! Or have any experiences to share, positive or negative, on any of the stuff I'm taking?

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 12:36

Ever I just saw your post and it struck a chord with me. We take on so much of the responsibility, so much of the pressure and suffer the majority of the disappointment on our own. Its so hard not to become despondent - I myself tend to lose it with OH as I can't see why he isn't up for DTD all the time, blaming myself for being too fat, or not sexy enough, or I haven't showered him with affection enough even though I work 12 hour days and maintain the house singlehandedly, why can't I be bothered to give him a back rub with a tiny thong on after I've cooked him yet another meal and tidied up all his crap and paid for him to go on a nice holiday and organised his whole life for him and- happy fucking women's day, right?

Then I have to stop myself. Take deep breaths, and remind myself that if and when I am blessed with a baby, it will be because we both wanted it and we enjoyed the experience. I don't want to live knowing that I had to force/bribe/guilt trip my OH into upduffing me. In the meantime, I continue to work on my patience, and find ways to make our sex life more enjoyable for both of us, ISW or not. Thats not to say I always succeed, but I am working on it.

If you don't mind sharing, what have you tried to try and 'spice' things up?

xx

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 12:02

Hi kwick and Skip welcome to SP!

Ever trying to avoid TMI, but my OH and I find there are some positions that are a lot easier/less-painful to start with .......

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 11:54

Morning ladies, checking in. Again.
Skip
TTC #1
Cycle 3, CD 26

Not feeling pg, so keeping myself busy planning house renovations and holidays like its my job, waiting for AF to come and round off a shit month. Weepytits advance warning - My tiny little babycat went missing yesterday, and I have had to spend the morning at work in floods of tears phoning round to see if anyone has found a tiny little body that may have fallen off the roof. I am devastated.
Congratulations to star, holly and peaches and a huge hug to harriet.
Kwick I am thinking of you as you trudge through the TWW.

Feefeefs · 08/03/2016 11:51

Name feefs
Age 28
CD 8
TTC #1
Cycle 4 Envy

Kat I agree with SP! That's exactly how it feels.

Ever I had a similar situation last night (thankfully not ISW yet) I just could not get into it and DH picked up on that and couldn't really get into it either was all a bit of a failure. I was pretty annoyed afterwards. I think this all puts a lot of pressure on everything. I wonder if your OH is afraid of hurting you? If that's what holds him back?

Cailler · 08/03/2016 11:24

Tiny your post just cheered me up no end to see someone in almost the exact same position as me. Same age and same cycles lengths too! We are in Switzerland (the German speaking part) and my German is pretty basic. The doctors here are amazing and all speak brilliant English and I was given a list of English speaking midwives and gynos when I moved here by my husband's work. However what scares me is the idea of being in a hospital where the staff may not speak English and if something goes wrong I won't understand and I'll be trying to read their faces. Whenever I am lucky enough to get upduffed I am going to do a crash course in all pregnancy related German words. I might get the word "epidural" tattooed somewhere just to make sure!! How long have you been in Germany? I've heard great things about the German way of handling pregnancy and women's health in general. Apparently they are big advocates of natural birth and you get tons of support, particularly with breast feeding.