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Conception

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Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

965 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 07/03/2016 22:50

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
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Laurenowls · 08/03/2016 17:46

hepkestrel had my implant taken out 9th december so everything should be back to normal...
But don't really know what is going on with my body... Sad

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 17:46

doesn't make any more fun though ....

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 17:46

sorry lauren misread your email! you said your last AF was on the 2nd feb, i miss read it. You are not too long in limboland then.

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 17:45

Hi Lauren
that is a long time in limboland! Have you just come off the pill? I assume you are having BFNs?

If you have just come off the pill, it can take 6 months..... but you might want to ask your GP.

Laurenowls · 08/03/2016 17:42

Laurenowls checking in after a long while :)

Ttc 1
Stuck in limbo land as af hasnt shown up since 2nd feb so god knows whats going on

islandgirl99 · 08/03/2016 17:26

kwick apparently it can improve egg quality and overall fertility, balance hormones and there are some studies that say it could improve uterine lining which can be good for people (like me) who have been on the pill for ages as that can potentially thin the lining, the study isn't 100% though.

I'm not aware that I have any problems with either my hormones or my uterine lining, but I'm open to trying anything to help with egg quality because of my advancing years and figure it can't hurt.

Hope you're getting on well btw, was catching up on your previous messages, fx for you!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 16:51

It's hideous isn't it feef it was one of many many reasons why I left him in the end. He was refusing to use condoms, I was refusing to have sex with him. I was like "how can you not possibly see that you're potentially affecting MY future and heath!" He thought he was safe because he used fresh needles from he exchange but couldn't grasp what what he was injecting couldn't possibly have been "medical grade" because proper labs don't misspell words on the packaging!

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Feefeefs · 08/03/2016 16:43

It is insane what some people will do starky! I used to work in infectious diseases and our biggest group of new HIV/HEP C infections where bodybuilders using "bathtub" labs injectables and sharing needles.

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 16:35

hi trizzer

if you tested on dpo8, then its worth testing again in a couple of days... fx for you!

Confusedcat1 · 08/03/2016 16:33

Seriously, whats with all the men not comprehending the basics that are 'to make a baby you need to dtd?!!' I mean it's not rocket science! Why do we have to coerce them, aren't men supposed to want to do anything to get laid????

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 16:31

kwick and fx Its ridiculous, my ex used to do it and I could never understand it! But amazingly both clomid and pregnyl control the production of testosterone so if a man has been taking synthetic testosterone steroids to increase muscle growth/mass, he stops producing it naturally. When he stops taking testosterone, pregnyl and clomid jump start the testes into natural production of healthy sperm again! It's bonkers, but clomid is prescribed to men by doctors, not 'Dave-down-the-gym' to increase their sperm count with HRT. Pregnyl is injectable but you can procure illegal and by my reckoning, bloody dangerous clomid in tablet form. So when stacked with pregnyl, the balls go wild and start producing spunk by the bucket load!

A lot of lads also take HGC (or human growth hormone) to increase their recovery time from in the gym. A side effect of this is the quality of sperm is also increased.

Sadly, this is all available after a few mouse clicks, it's either stolen from laboratories or made in illegal makeshift labs around the country by amateur chemists.

Disclaimer - I spent a long time listening to my ex and his mates, they all took gear and swapped their stories of what works etc. Obviously their main goal was for muscle mass, quicker recovery and getting beefed up. Thankfully Dh doesn't prescribe to the same mindset.

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Confusedcat1 · 08/03/2016 16:31

Welcome back to the madhouse canters

Pugmummy87 · 08/03/2016 16:29

I am cracking up laughing at the thread description. Good job Stark!

Moggy Most booking appts with the midwife are done around 8 weeks (that's when I aim to see newly pregnant ladies anyway), to give time for the scan request forms to reach the hospital and to send out a scan appt to you (our 1st scans are done between 11+2 - 14+1 for dating and screening purposes) and also for you to have booking bloods done before 10 weeks too.

Are they just busy? It is a busy time for bookings!

Ever I'm sorry you are having a crap time with DH. It took me a while to get it through to my DH that having sex once per week (if that) was not going to get me up duffed. I think he understands now, although I now tend to be the one to initiate it when I think I'm ovulating, still working on getting him to the every 2-3 days throughout the month. But we are certainly dtd more than we used to.

Fx are you married to my DH?! This is why I ended up going off on one at him on Sunday, because I end up doing everything. And he is also pretty nonchalant about stuff I may have achieved too (I think that's down to he's autistic traits though). Upsets me at times because sometimes I would just like some validation!

I have been getting crampy like pains on and off this afternoon (I think I might have wind though Blush) and my boobs feel heavy, no sore Nipples though which is my usual luteal phase symptom.

Cailler · 08/03/2016 16:24

Tiny we've been here almost six months so still learning, possibly still a little naive about what it will entail to do all this in a country where we don't speak the language but I guess we will just take it as it comes because we won't have a choice and can always ask for help if needed. Plus there's always Google! I'm looking forward to getting my money's worth out of our health insurance too! I'm sure that we will both be fine when the time comes, the Germans and Swiss are not ones to panic.

Peaches8Posies · 08/03/2016 16:21

ever I hope you both have a good talk and get things sorted. I know blokes are a bit shit at expressing feelings like us but it's vital you feel he's totally on board with the ttc plans. Fx crossed xx

Peaches8Posies · 08/03/2016 16:18

Hello ladies
peaches
Just got bfp on cycle 3
Excited but more terrified!

starky love the intro. If your OH can smell pregnancy you guys will be millionaires within the year. TV deals, stateside appearances the whole shebang haha

fx I got tired just reading your routine! Hope your little kitty shows up soon, I feel your pain I would be heartbroken too.

Welcome newbies ☺

harriet so sorry. You must both be completely gutted! Take care of yourself xx

Trizzer · 08/03/2016 16:11

Hello everyone, I'm very new here, so trying to get on board with the lingo so here goes...

I'm Vikki
32
TTC #1
Cycle 10
CD 26
DPO 8 days

I've had some PG symptoms this month that I've never had before, I've been bloated, very hungry and I've had some abdominal pains yesterday and today, now this could just be something I've eaten but I've also noticed that my breasts aren't sore and I always get sore breasts usually from ovulation to my next AF.

My app said AF is due on Friday 11th but I ovulated 3 days after the app predicted so it's more likely AF is due on Monday right?

I've been using opk sticks and and app and certainly DTD just before ovulation according to the results on the stick.

I'm a type 1 diabetic so TTC has been pretty difficult and it's taking its tole on me. My partner is also visiting the doctor today to arrange a sperm check.

I've just done an early response PG test and got a BFN which I was expecting so early but I'm about to see a nurse regarding diabetes preconception so thought I better test just in case. I think that's everything about me, sorry to ramble on!

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 16:04

Apologies fx I thought you were looking for tips on spicing up DTD! Your schedule sounds intense. I take it you’re not able to try and get home any earlier than 930 a few nights a week, to have more time for ttc?

tiny with you on the talk! Really works for me too. Agreed with lingerie – can take it or leave it really myself, but I think DH likes it.

Hello petit, I love the idea of a BFN wine evening! Get some cheese involved!

Hello canters jump back on board

I’m at work and I think I might have just had my first OPK. But I don’t have the rest to compare it to, and I’m sitting at my desk so I can’t sit staring at it like I want to. I feel like my handbag has a bomb in it or something! DH isn’t home until tommorrow morning!

Canters15 · 08/03/2016 16:00

Thanks starky! Hows tricks? Honeymoon was amazing thanks. Though seems like such a long time ago! We ate all kinds of weird food, soaked up culture and shagged in a hot tub on top of a mountain I would love to go back one day (was in Japan, for those curious).

Hiya kwick! Glad I'm not the only one who can't maintain thread monogamy Wink

Soo.....men take clomid?! Ive heard it all now!

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 15:53

ps Tiny we do this right here on this very thread! we all snuggle up on the couch, usually watching some gad-awful chick flick, with wine, chocolate, biscuits, cake, bellinis - the whole shebang. You just nudge in when your AF shows up in her red limo of doom, and we all cuddle an appropriate amount Wink

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 15:53

Thanks tiny I actually think I just want OH to say those exact words to me, but even when I achieve what I consider to be pretty major stuff, he is nonchalant. 'Oh, you just ran a marathon while studying for 2 exams and raised £15k for charity? Nice. Whats for dinner?' Angry

FXSkip · 08/03/2016 15:51

Holy shatballs starky I thought you meant he would buy it for you - I had no idea men took it ShockShockShock

HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 15:47

starky thought i had cramps this morning..... then i remembered the pilates from yesterday. ouch!

I am really rubbish at symptom spotting!

Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 15:26

I am having a lazy day at home.... Next work call at 4pm and the I am interrogating interviewing someone at 5.30pm... But right now I am watching movie Blush. How are you starky?

Injecting female hormones into males sounds extremely dodgy... Can that be safe?

Hiya canters!!!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 15:21

canters welcome back bud! How was your honeymoon? No forgiveness necessary mate, you haven't done anything wrong! 😂

I have cramps, I can't work out whether it's a gyppy tummy, or trapped wind!

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