Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

965 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 07/03/2016 22:50

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
Canters15 · 09/03/2016 00:00

God can you imagine if you had to name your baby by conception location?! If I get pregnant this month I will be giving birth to.....a malteaser? (Fertile week spent in Malta and I'm pmsing and craving chocolate!).

Starky, pole fitness intrigues me but I always see pics of girls hanging upside down and I think if I did that I might fall off and die.

Crampy womble tonight. Let it be implantation?!??!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 23:27

She said her dps were hippies jam It was one of those instances where you can go "oh, that's interesting! "

Aww jam that bloody gnome! He's an arsehole! Whispering things and making you have symptoms! I've got zero symptoms, I keep pinching my nipples to see if they hurt, obviously now, they hurt, because of pinching though, not pregnancy!

ni as much as I hate to admit it, Dh has pulled a blinder! It's awesome stuff!

OP posts:
Ni4444 · 08/03/2016 23:20

Fingers crossed Jam! Try to get a good night's sleep...Maybe borrow some of Kats Bieber dreams ew totally grosses me out...hes too young!

Stark I'd totally give that a go if there was a class in my area. Useful skills in many ways! 😉 I tried bellydancing once and loved that too.. Just couldn't be arsed trekking an hour each way on am evening for more classes bloody London

Tonight I have been drinking wine, eating cheese and hotel chocolat and watching Grace and Frankie with my Mom 😊 (at what CD should we stop the cheese?!) But I did take EPO, iron, multi vits, do lots of walking and yoga too!! Balanced diet!!! 😀

Jamjar12 · 08/03/2016 23:09

Haha Stark, I wonder if she changed it to that or just had an awful mother?!

So I think I'm about 5dpo. My boobs feel very heavy and my nipples feel bruised and super sensitive. Very gassy, which is quite unusual for me but I just keep burping constantly. I also just cried at a rerun of Downton Abbey and then when I was getting ready for bed, my DH and I were joking about and I literally just laughed so much I sprayed a mouthful of water everywhere and then laughed hysterically on the toilet by myself. Walked back into the room with DH and was like, what the hell is going on with you?! His joke really wasn't that funny but I feel like my mood is literally bouncing all over the place today! I'm telling myself it's too early for symptoms but the irritating gnome is whispering stuff in my ear, damn him.

Ni4444 · 08/03/2016 23:09

Suchajem it's true you probably have around 36hrs...if it feels too stressful how about going into work saying your doc apt was rescheduled to later, then leaving work early to come to dtd instead (if your OH isn't working today he'll have had time to have a snooze and refresh for you!)

Stark love the photo. Sounds like fabulous stuff for us long haired knotty creatures!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 23:09

This is a bit of an out there post. But had anybody ever thiught abiut doing pole fitness? I'd completely encourage you all to have a go if there are are any classes in your area. For toning, weight loss and confidence it's honestly brilliant. And it's good fun. You will ache in areas you never knew had muscles in but it's ace! Not for the already upduffed though! Can't stress that enough! But it's amazing for strengthening your core which helps massively when you do get upduffed.

OP posts:
Ni4444 · 08/03/2016 23:01

Still catching up but Ever how about focusing on getting your mojo back? I know a lot of people on here have said that their libido increased since coming off the pill...I think mine has decreased! It's so sad cos we had amazing sex for the first year together!...until we moved in together actual (absence makes more than the heart grow fonder!!!!) but I do believe that a lot of not feeling wanted or attractive or confident right now is because I'm not exercising. When I'm working out I feel sexy and strong and confident. Is there anything you can do to help you feel better about yourself? I'm getting there slowly not a winter person so I was bound to veg the last few months but I've done yoga the last two days! I'll get there in a few weeks...months...!!!

IrregularCommentary · 08/03/2016 22:59

Ok, bear with me here - I'm seriously behind!

Congratulations to the new BFPers - our stats must be through the roof now. All of you thwarted by AF this month, sorry ladies, but please have a gutful of wine, pate and soft cheese for me!

Harriet, I'm so sorry to hear that, take care of yourself.

Jem, I'm good thanks. Got my scan letter through today in fact and it's on April 1st when I'll be 12+4. Perfect timing as DH and I are both off work that week so we'll hopefully get to enjoy it more as well. Better than rushing back to work straight after!

Ni4444 · 08/03/2016 22:50

Thanks for the vits info Island

Canter Welcome back! Honeymoon hot tub sex sounds fab!

Stark if your DH has indeed sniffed our your upduffedness you need to insure that nose of his!! and then hop in the car so he can save us the cost of a Frer!

...catching up. Can't believe we're 6 pages in already. Lots of pages usually means a BFP...fingers crossed!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 22:29

I actually met a stripper once who's name was Bubbles jam we all thought she was taking the piss until she produced her driving license and her actual name was actually Bubbles!

OP posts:
Jamjar12 · 08/03/2016 22:25

Lol Kat, maybe you're a closet Bieber fan!

Gosh Elle, we'll all need a cold shower if you're going to be waving photos like that in front of our faces!

Moggy, goodness me yes! If you haven't seen Poldark, watch some of the British Being Human. Love an angsty vampire ;) I'm sure Hep will agree!

Ever, I totally agree with Tiny's comment about needing to have an open conversation with your fella. This is way too much to shoulder alone! I'm sure I'd be going mental if my DH didn't keep me sane.

Lol at your DH Stark, he's clearly very enthusiastic. Bless men and their faith in their generals! Wish we had the same!

Good god Fx, you must be shattered!

Canters, a hot tub!!!!! Wow! We spent a lot of time in a hot tub on honeymoon but didn't DTD in it! Imagine if you'd got pregnant, you could call her Bubbles or Ariel! Haha. Although they sound a bit like hooker names... Oops!

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 22:17

Thanks girls. We've made up over text. I need to not be so hot headed and not get so stressed about all this. You're right - it's not good for our rellie or for baby making.

Fx for a better day tomorrow and a darker strong OPK! Have got the first sign of EWCM now and some twinges on my left hand side, so there are things a-happening.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 22:12

I'm glad ever 😁

It's not just the dtd though, I think they don't have a clue about how mentally and emotionally draining it is! I've no problems getting Dh to dtd he literally can't believe his luck it's been more of the 'and after ifs' he's struggling with. I brought up yesterday if we get to autumn/winter and have had no luck what will we do and he went "well, nothing, we'll just keep trying and then accept it" to which I replied "fuck off mate, you're going STRAIGHT down the clinic to jizz in a cup!" Obviously I'll get my beard looked at too but accept it, fucking accept it! Kiss my arse! I'm having none of that! 😁

Sorry you're feeling rotten miley all for a good cause and that. You poor bugger Flowers

OP posts:
Confusedcat1 · 08/03/2016 21:50

jem my positive was much darker than that. I think it's not worth fighting with him over, it will just make Ttc even more stressful and the more stressful it gets, the more it impacts the relationship negatively and the harder it is to get upduffed! It's by no means easy but I kind of decided to try see it as 'we are in this together and if we don't manage it this month we will another month'

evergreen dont decide or do anything while you're angry, lovey xxxx Flowers

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 21:46

I'll test again tomorrow starkers and see if it gets any stronger. Ideally it would be a proper positive tomorrow and have a good 24 hour crack at DTD tomorrow to catch her.

If it doesn't work out this month then perhaps next month I'll keep more info to myself and just keep up the DTD without rhyme or reason.

Love the shampoo pic :)

Fx for you both lucky I hope it's just been a case of timing or lack of luck for you.

Evergreen15 · 08/03/2016 21:37

Starky that shampoo pic cheered me up a little GrinGrinGrinGrin

Evergreen15 · 08/03/2016 21:35

Jem I hear your pain. They dont understand the stress that we go through Sad so you are lying to work to get dtd and all he has to do is freaking bang you?! Oh my!!!!
OH is at work and we were supposed to talk and this is fw so I am so bloody mad right now I might actually just tell him I want out.
Do they think that it is not a chore for us to have to dtd on demand as well???!!!! I am fuming right now. No way I will get upduffed this cycle either.

LuckyBlackKitty · 08/03/2016 21:29

Jeez you lot get through your threads quick. This is going to be a commitment to keep up Wink

Jem - you asked way back when our test results are due. I've got about a week and DH is currently awaiting an appt for SA after initial Drs appt.

Sorry to hear you're having trouble getting DH on board. It's tough. We've missed some months due to illness on both parts and DH being 'too tired' / 'headache'. It's tough. I think that's why it's taking us do long (she says hopefully, not wanting the tests to reveal anything). I hope you find a way with your DH to get on the same page and manage to dtd when needed.

A couple of you were talking about Royal jelly. I had been taking that, along with macca, EPO, multi vits and folic acid. Honestly, I almost rattled. I got DH taking a bunch of pills too but lately I've just reverted to folic acid.

I hope this month brings lots of BFPs for everyone!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 21:15

I wouldn't say that's a positive yet jem I'd say that's a peak though and you'll probably get a positive in the next day or so. It's horrible having those kind of conversations. It's a tricky one, I'm not really sure what to suggest other than just generally upping your dtd-ing so he doesn't realise when you're in fw? I stopped telling Dh in a bid to take the pressure off, but then he developed spidey senses!

Me too feef I had a run of about 3 genuine arsehole back to back, makes me wonder what kind of voodoo magic they were using cause no way would I take that kind of shit now! Grin

Ill take a picture of it, it's amazing!

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
OP posts:
SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 21:09

Maybe he is worried about performing as soon as he walks through the door 😔 But it's not exactly easy for me either - I'm lying to work, getting in late, and also having to DTD on demand.

Le sigh. Maybe I'll just go to work as normal and wait until I get home to DTD. The last time was yesterday morning, which I'm hoping is keeping me covered. I can't help but feel a fresh batch in the morning would be ideal, if eggo is imminent?

Mooseville · 08/03/2016 21:06

sucha bloody men!!! Seriously, you'd have thought the idea of a greet home shag would be appealing. Fingers crossed you make up with a big smooch and a shag when he gets home....
As for the OPK, that was about the darkest mine went and then the following day it was back to negative. You've still up to 36 hrs though, plenty of time!

Canters15 · 08/03/2016 21:02

Such a, sorry about the argument. I can so relate- DH is working away in Europe during the week at the moment. Last fertile window I got an amazing positive opk just before he was due to leave and the pressure to perform meant he, um, didn't. He seems to have an uncanny knack at not wanting sex on the most crucial day but hates knowing when I'm ovulating. I'm like what do you want me to do, bro?! Catch 22.

Feefeefs · 08/03/2016 20:57

Offt starky glad you've seen the back of him! You're DH sounds a much more sensible man! Also what's the name of this shampoo!

Ever I'm sure you are very attractive! I doubt it's to do with that!

Ipatches I bought the clear blue opks and it says you can use fmu! So I'm using them.

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 20:55

also is this positive please?

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 20:53

Argh. Just had a horrible row with DH over the phone. I've got a positive OPK and he's on his way back from Miami tonight, landing first thing tomorrow morning. I've told work I've got a dr appointment so we can quickly DTD when he gets home. He's just said on the phone "this is what I don't like. It's too regimented".
I'm ashamed to say I lost it. Too regimented? What my body? Human biology??? How many times do we have to have this conversation??? I really think how they teach boys about conception in school needs to be looked at! I think he thinks a condom breaks on an impromptu shag on a beach and that's it.
Argh. I hate ending phone calls like that especially when he's got a long journey home.
So frustrated :(