Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

I know starky is so sad, most of the kids he has have been abused to such an extent or have autism and severe mental health issues. Or both. A "normal" family home would never work for them. They are the last step often before secure and almost none go back to their families they usually go on to supported adult care. Unfortunately a large percentage come from adoptive parents. They are obviously the expect to the rule, but I think DH would struggle to get his head around adoption because of it.

Apologies that it is the Daily Fail, but here is an example www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2483685/Ive-refused-IVF-fiance-father-reveals-heartbroken-woman.html

Starky that seems really unfair about not being able to adopt/foster because of DH's past record. People make mistakes, seems very unfair to dismiss someone who could give a child in care a home just because they may have done a few idiotic things when they were younger.

Thanks elle and cat they see it as starky says that you already have a family with children, even if that child isn't biologically yours. I think you can appeal and apply for special consideration for funding, but I'm not sure how successful that is.
It is unfair, but it is what it is and I completely understand in a health service where money is very tight, they have to draw the line somewhere.
It's the cost of the drugs that push the price of ivf up.

Hahaha, when DH and I were dating I was babysitting a half Chinese baby. And I asked him if when we had kids it could be a halfsie... And he said "not if I have anything to do with it...unfortunately "

Why does your partner having had a child from a previous relationship disqualify you from ivf? That doesn't seem fair on the partner who has no kids.

I have been away.... How much have I missed???

Pug that seems so unfair to you.

Skip that is interesting, I haven't considered adoption before at all. My friend has just adopted siblings-it is a lovely idea giving a home to a child. Is it difficult to adopt from China?

Haha at the cheese Starky

Have a lovely time Jem

fx I don't think you are judging anyone who has ivf at all. Unfortunately, DH and I wouldn't be eligible for ivf on the nhs as DH had a daughter from a previous relationship and there is no way we could afford to fund it ourselves, maybe iui at a push. But adoption is certainly something I would consider if I was unable to have a child.

Sadly in my role I some women repeatedly have babies time after time and each time they are taken into care, potentially suffering from withdrawal symptoms if mum was a drug user. Breaks my heart.

Hahahhaha!

I nearly burst out laughing halfway through earlier. It just seemed so absurd to be shouting at each other one minute then reluctantly shagging the next. Hahaha.

starky lol!

starky I've thought about adopting from China too. DH has two beautiful Chinese cousins - the little one is also his goddaughter. They are such lovely girls, it's quite incredible to think how different their lives could have been.

So after telling my poor DH "today is the most important day!" Every sodding day this week we had possibly the worst shag of our lives this morning. He went into work mode - very serious and concerned by the time - I got emotional and said if we don't do it today it won't happen /drama and cried so we had a very unhappy shag. If this results in a child I'm going to feel bad for it.

Anyway at the airport now, glass of fizz in hand and will be in Cape Town tomorrow morning. Let's hope my little eggo is fertilising somewhere over Africa tonight.

I totally agree. I think adoption is a beautiful beautiful thing to do...but I've worked in schools and children's services and the poor kids can be so damaged that it can be more than foster carers/adoptive parents can handle. I don't think there's anything worse in the world than a child having to be returned to care because the new parents just couldn't deal with the behaviour the poor traumatised kid comes out with. It's so damaging to be "rejected"...but so many new parents don't have the support and training to deal with the difficulties. We would both be open to adopting, but I don't know if we'd be able for it.

CD7... About 11 days to ovulation. Why does this cycle feel like it's dragging on and on on!!!?!

I what you mean starky as much as I would have loved to have gone into social work, veterinary care or anything that involves caring for vulnerable people or animals, but for me the psychological impact outweighs everything.

That's interesting fx.

I always think I would like to adopt too but DH works in residential care and is strongly against it (for us) I think he has seen the consequences of it going wrong all too often.

Ha ha starky your chinese baby dream doesn't surprise me at all! Thanks for your kind responses, I was nervous about posting as I didn't want to spark off one of these huge MN rows you see (ahem, AIBU - I'm looking at you)

It was a feeling that I developed after 2 things happened - the first month we didn't conceive where I went a bit mental, and meeting a family where the 2 brothers had been adopted at a critical point - the eldest was just about to reach the unadobtable age and they would have been split up. I slowly started to make peace with the fact that we may not conceive, and that might just be a blessing for a child facing a potentially bleak future. Then, I suddenly felt a whole lot less pressure. Having said that, we are on cycle 3 and I am aware that my feelings may change!

this reminds me..... kwick how are you doing ?