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Original poster

TTC following an ectopic pregnancy

913 replies

PinkElephant · 01/01/2007 18:35

Hi, My DH and I have been TTC for the last 8 months and finally found out I was pregnant before christmas. Since then I have been in hospital and have been treated for an ectopic pregnancy. I was given a hefty dose of Methotrexate which has made me feel rotten and should induce a miscarriage soon. We can't start TTC for 3 months now which is really hard to take as it took us a while the first time - but everything will have to be on hold until the summer now. Has anyone experienced this?

OP posts:
lissielou · 05/03/2007 10:12

its the 21st i had surgery to remove my ep and tube so can i ttc straight away?

cedar12 · 05/03/2007 10:10

Thanks Pe, hope your af arrives on time, I hope mine hurries up to it will be 6 wks this week.
Ive looked into ivf as well lissie its so expensive isnt it. I hope the appointment goes ok, i will have my fingers crossed for you. When is it?
Ive got to go and try and finish painting the hallway now I will try and log on at lunch time.

lissielou · 05/03/2007 10:01

not too bad. worried about specialist, i know my remaining tube is in a bad way so dreading it. dh and i were talking about ivf and maybe using his graduate loan to fund it, but thats 3y away ffs!

cedar12 · 05/03/2007 10:01

Thanks Lissie I think I will give relate a ring this morning. I just want to get back to normal.
How are you?

Original poster
PinkElephant · 05/03/2007 09:59

Cedar - poor you - you sound so down today. TTC puts so much pressure on you both that its bound to make you feel like that. I think the men get a bit frustrated as they don't know how it feels emotionally and physically although I'm sure they try to understand, but they seem to be able to pull themselves together a lot quicker than us girls.

How are you today Lissie?

I'm waiting for AF to arrive this week so that I can go ahead with HSG xray next week. No sign as yet

OP posts:
lissielou · 05/03/2007 09:49

oh cedar, think counselling is prob a good idea tbh

cedar12 · 05/03/2007 09:46

Feeling really crap me and dh had huge argument about everything last night. i think we need to go to relate or something having been having problem on and off since 1 st ep almost 2 years ago now. Going to try and talk tonight and I know its silly but I just think if we could have another baby we would be fine. We just arent comfortable with each other anymore and blame each other for every thing not very helpful when you need to be doing lots of baby making.
Are life is on hold and I cant bear the thought of dd going to school in september
Thanks for all your support and sorry for the moan. I hope you are all feeling ok. Positive thoughts from now on I promise.

lissielou · 05/03/2007 08:26

cedar i know exactly how you feel. my SIL is due v soon and im so jealous, ive been a wreck this month coz my 2nd mc wouldve been due and everyone i know seems to be popping out babies easy as you like

period is on its way, got that feeling and im so sad about it. i know its daft but part of me was hoping that the docs got it all wrong and somehow there was still a baby in there. clearly not

Original poster
PinkElephant · 04/03/2007 19:29

Oh Cedar - I'm so sorry you feel so sad. You're safe on here, I feel exactly the same... and I'm sure the others do too

OP posts:
cedar12 · 02/03/2007 10:08

Feeling really fed up today, when I dropped dd off at playschool this morning one of the other mums who I havent seen for ages is pg. She looked all glowing and happy this is her 4th and it just happened. Its not fair I hate feeling like this, its not her fault but why cant it be this easy for all of us as well sorry to be so miserable.

cedar12 · 01/03/2007 08:24

Might give the charting thing ago but I am not very organised. I think that like you I ovulate later than I thought so it might be worth a go. I have try the ovulation tests and I dont think they are that accurate.

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 28/02/2007 13:16

cedar12, honestly, even if you decide not to chart your temperatures it's a worthwhile read. as i say, the charting thing's not for everyone.

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 28/02/2007 13:15

the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust recommends three months, for the drugs to process through your system and also to heal internally and emotionally. i seems like a long time but it does fly by and you only realise afterwards that you needed those weeks to grieve...

Original poster
PinkElephant · 28/02/2007 13:14

Keeplaughing - It takes three months for the methotrexate to get out of my system apparently. Roll on April....
Cedar - Its so true - nurse make the worst patients!!

OP posts:
keeplaughing · 28/02/2007 12:11

thanks will x fingers for you. by the way, why 3 months? is that cos of the drugs? my gynae said it was ok after first period

cedar12 · 28/02/2007 12:09

Pe my ep was 5 weeks ago this thursday so I am probabley just being impatient. The only way to get anything done in the nhs is to be a night mare patient. Being a nurse also I think we are the worst patients ever
Aitch just ordered the Toni Welsch book from amazon all this charting sounds a bit confusing.

Original poster
PinkElephant · 28/02/2007 11:51

Keeplaughing - love the name . I know, the majority of the time I'm positive and upbeat about it and then there's the element of doubt that comes rolling in thinking I'll be that small percentage who will never be able to have a baby at all. I also worry about the age barrier and wish I was just a little bit younger with more time to play with but I'm sure we all wish for that

OP posts:
keeplaughing · 28/02/2007 11:16

Pink elephant, try to keep positive. I had ectopic and lost a tube but periods started again normally and fell pregnant again 3 months later (and i was 38) Know its easy to say but try not to get too stressed about it all, it's the worst thing. I also found out that an awful lot of people had had ectopics that i knew, and things worked out ok for them too. Incidentally you're not a nightmare patient, it's your right to get best and quickest treatment poss, unfortunate you have to be pushy to do it sometimes

Original poster
PinkElephant · 28/02/2007 11:02

Just chased up my appointment with Consultant and its Friday 13th April - OMG hope this is not a bad omen

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkElephant · 28/02/2007 10:52

Aitch - thank you, this is what I thought and has put my mind at rest. When I spoke to the Radiographer to book the appointment she told me that I would not find out the results and that I would have to wait till my appointment with the consultant. Soooo unhelpful!!
Its so true, if men had to do this not only would there be exams but also SOP's, competancy frameworks and appraisals!!!!
Has anyone find the magic of trying has gone since having these problems. This was my first pregnancy and all I feel is complete numbness at the thought of being pregnant again - of course I'll be thrilled but just terrified what will go wrong next. I just know this is going to be a very long journey

OP posts:
PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 28/02/2007 10:40

PE, i think, from what i've read women say about HSGs on the EPT website that it's pretty clear if there's a problem straightaway. i think they tend to show you the dye running through, and also if there are any wee blockages sometimes they can push the dye a bit and release it. it can be painful, though, so take painkillers in advance.
and the toni weschler book should be mandatory for all girls at puberty, i think. i'm a clever woman, and yet somehow i didn't know a lot of the things she explained about my own body. i tell you, we'd all be made to sit exams in it if men were the ones having babies.

i used the software to calculate my temps, tbh. couldn't be faffed with all that line drawiing stuff. you have to pay for it, or there's a free version at fertilityfriends.com (or .co.uk, can't remember). i had PCOS, so that is supposed to make the temps more tricky but i never found it so.

some people stress out about temping, but i think it depends on your personality type. at the time i felt so wildly out of control with my body that i liked having something to do, something that seemed like a positive move. but it does make some peopel feel worse, so jack it in at the first opportunity if that's the case.

Original poster
PinkElephant · 28/02/2007 10:26

Hi Lissie - I'm good thanks but starting to get a bit twitchy about the HSG. Am really worried about the result and keep tormenting myself that if there is a problem then it will be ages till I get sorted out as the NHS is so crap. They keep moving my appointmnet for the HSG and the Consultants secretary keeps forgetting to make me follow up appointment so I'm loosing my patience with them all now. I just can't believe they won't give me the reults of my HSG there and then and I have to wait for the Consultants appointment. AAAAAAHHHH!! Surely they can tell me something??
Cedar - How long has it been since the ectopic? My first AF afterwards was about 2wks late, I had no idea when it was supposed to arrive to be honest. But it wasn't anymore painful etc. Hope it comes soon for your HSG to be arranged.
Aitch - God you sound like you've had a rough ride too. Yes I am so pissed off with the NHS system that I will be demanding antibiotics at my GP surgery. I'm going away with work straight after my HSG and there is no way I'll gamble an infection. It's the only perk of being a nurse - I'm so demanding!

OP posts:
cedar12 · 28/02/2007 08:38

Doing ok lissie except I think my bloody washing machines broken. All my clothes havent been getting rinsed properley and has given me thrush. So a great start to the day!
I still havent had a period since ep and for once I wish it would hurry up so I can hopefully make an appointment for my hsg.
I hope your day gets better lissie.
Aitch thanks for the book reccomendation I am going to try and get a copy of it.

lissielou · 28/02/2007 07:27

im like you aitch, fab at getting pg, but rubbish at keeping them. saw the doc yesterday whod told me i was mcing 2w before the ep was discovered. just said to her, i told you i was still pg! struggling a bit today. how are you all?

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 27/02/2007 20:44

for the record i used the toni weschler book and took my temps, so i think that's why i was good at getting up the duff. i ovulate really late as it turns out so i dread to think how long it would have taken if i hadn't known that.