TTC for 6 months+ thread #1

Zoe sorry to hear that you got that stressful news. I have seen loads of posts on here of success stories where a low sperm count has been improved to excellent/above average with lifestyle changes. I have my DH on the men's pregnacare conception/fertility vitamins too. Get him to try them along with cutting down alcohol and coffee, no hot baths/laptops on laps, boxers not briefs, healthy diet. At least you know it is something probably fixable. Fingers crossed for the re-test in 3 months to show a great improvement.

How is everyone getting on?
I am absolutely not on the chill boat myself. I'm on the driving myself utterly bonkers boat. AF due tomorrow and BFN this morning. But I have no spotting yet, which is so rare for me. And a triphasic chart, temps still high. So clinging on to hope that she won't show up tomorrow despite a massive skin break out and moodiness. Don't want a seventh go on the merry-go-round of disappointment!

Kat I did the same shopping thing with buying a dress for a friends up-coming wedding. I thought I'd best leave buying the dress until the last minute to accommodate a huge bump. Not needed now, bit of over planning! Plus there's be quite a few old school friends there who are pregnant or will have just had babies...

All that said, I'm still on board the chill boat.

Sorry to hear about your news Zoe. I read somewhere once that making sure you wash vegetables/fruits before eating or cooking them boosted fertility? There were two groups all trying to conceive and the ones who washed had a noticeably quicker percentage! Can't remember where I read this though so I have nothing to back it up.

We use the his and hers pregnacare preconception ones from Boots or cheaper via Amazon. Boots do their own his and hers as well which are same (just cheaper) - you both get all the vits you need :) (folic acid included!)

I always have to remind DH though - he is terrible at remembering! They cost around £11-15 though but definitely worth it!

'Men's conception vitamins.' Darn predictive text!

Hi lily, no he isn't. Where can I get them from? And are they just called 'pre conception vitamins.'

Thank you so much for your post, that is so helpful.

Hi ZoeFitness - is your DH taking the men's conception vitamins? They can make all the difference and they say need to be taking for 3 mths to help make a substantial change on swimmers. Worked for us :)

Aww thank you Kitty. That made me smile. I wish you luck and lots and lots of healthy swimmers xx

Oh zoe, I'm sorry that wasn't the result you were hoping for.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice. I can only offer hugs and a sympathetic ear. You're slightly ahead of us. I had my bloods done last week and DP has an appt this week to ask for a SA.

Hopefully some others can come along with some words of wisdom.

Hi guys, just catching up. I hope that your all well and persevering through this Ttc madness.

I'm having a bad Monday! DP had his sperm results back this morning - not good. The result was 'lower than optimum' and he needs to re test in three months. He hasn't had a detailed report back yet so I'm just waiting on the doctor to call him. I'm really struggling with it not being in my control and obviously thinking the worst ATM.

any advice would really help! X

Yes sorry kat next door neighbour. She's all gorgeous and glamorous too, as well as pregnancy glowy!

lucky I'm really hoping that after the disappointment, getting a bfp will be even better than it would have been if I hadn't had to wait!

Ooooohhh next door neighbour??

Re not having mulled wine... I didn't buy a new winter coat this year that I wanted because I assumed that I would be too pregnant to fit in it!! Lol! What a funny! Now eyeing up summer clothes and thinking... Fuck it I may as well just buy it. But then if I am preggo ever there's not going to be much chance of fitting into it ever again.

P.s. What's ndn ?

I'm sure you're right lucky. A bfp is a bfp no matter how long it's waited for and will be amazing.

Kat I've been the same with with working hard to get what I want in life. This has certainly been a wake up call for me.

bluebird I agree that some of the enjoyment has been taken out of pregnancy. Still, maybe that will change when I get my BFP and all the excitement that I initially had will come back.

I had the same with alcohol. Not that I drink much, but I remember thinking things like "I'll probably be pregnant over Christmas so I won't be able to have any mulled wine, oh what a shame!". Thinking back on that makes me laugh/cry now! So I now have the week around AF to have a glass if I want before stopping again in the hopes it'll help.

Bluebird I'm with you on the not changing job, I can't think of anything worse to do right now! No additional maternity pay, having to get to know new colleagues and boss again- not fun!

Kat I totally agree with the effort factor. One month everything was timed perfectly, I'd taken all my folic acid and vitamins, dtd loads over ovulation, no alcohol, and no pregnancy!!

When I was working in the nightclubs I used to drink every night, and I mean every night! It went with the lifestyle, but I was single and looking back, probably quite unhappy! I cut down when I met Dh, and now ill have phases of not drinking for months on end, interspersed with having a couple of glasses of wine every now and then. I can't take the pace anymore! I think I've seen Dh drunk once in the 3 years we've been together!

I'm cd 11..or 12...but I'm still quite chilled about it at the moment. I had a weird moment last night with my mum, told her ndn was pregnant and she was really pleased but then there was a sort of pregnant pause excuse the pun and I don't know if it's because I'm sensitive to it at the minute but it was really weird and it was almost like there was a "but I'm not pregnant! " moment which went unsaid and then she changed the subject really quickly.

Bluebird Ikwym. I've always managed to do everything I want or get everything I want... I passed my exams I got my degree I got my job.... It's like you work hard/really want something and you shall get it. TTC is a whole different thing. Really putting in effort (OPK/temp/special diet/whatever) and/or reallllllyyyy wanting it have absolutely no relation whatsoever to if you will actually ever conceive or not ! So frustrating!

Lucky I don't think you're an alcohy, I think society these days seems to encourage quite a large amount of social drinking and it's become the "norm" - all evening/weekend social activities that adults do seem to revolve around alcohol. I used to drink more than I do now but unfortunately I have a few glasses and I'm tipsy. Which is frustrating because 2 glasses in you just get the taste for it, right?!

Hi lucky welcome to the thread. I agree...I'm so bored of Ttc. And I hate when people say just relax, go on a holiday or change jobs. I've been on 3 holidays over the last year and nothing! And I don't want to change jobs because you'd then have to stop trying for a while to still qualify for mat pay. And I think changing jobs is more stressful than staying at one I sometimes like/sometimes don't.

The thing I find the hardest is how people who haven't had to wait long just really don't understand because it was easy for them. And even if I get preggo now I still think some of the shine of the process is gone now. Never thought Ttc would be anything but exciting. Didn't think it would be the hardest thing I've ever done!

Hi Kat. This is going to make me sound like a complete alchie but I'm like that with drinking. I keep declaring that I'm going to give up but then get despondent and think fuck it I'm not going to get pregnant so why deprive myself of another pleasure.
No don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking back jäger bombs or anything...its just a couple of glasses of wine at most every now and again, but now DH just rolls his eyes when I announce that I'm not drinking. Ha! Here's to us crazy ladies raises glass to toast

Hello lucky ... Hoping this cycle is lucky for you!
Ikwym about cycles of chill/crazy. Mine are normally... Over AF...begin to chill. Remain chill until CD7. Then start obsessing about OPKs even tho I said I wouldn't. Then feel stressed until AF arrives again. Then chill for a bit. However this time I'm really going to chill the whole cycle. It's no good being stressed.

Ha LovelyFishy - I totally go through cycles of crazy TTC lady and chill. At the moment I am more chill but I feel the craziness building.

I can understand the fear part. Somehow being unlucky is better than there being something wrong!

My DH has been pretty chill about this so far, except that one month I wore him out slightly over ovulation days! If I'd've said I didn't want children he wouldn't have minded, but since having children is such a big deal for me he's happy to try. But it definitely leaves me as the driving force behind this!

Mancomb I started of chill for a few months, then went a bit mad with sticks, now back to chill again! If there's no results in the next 2 cycles I'll revert back to crazy stick lady again.

Hi Bakingqueen. Thanks for the welcome. Sorry to hear AF arrived for you.

My DH doesn't say much to me but I know it bothers him too. We've had lots of friends falling pregnant with apparent ease and so have lots of new borns to visit and DH can't get enough of holding the babies. He's so good with them - it breaks my heart seeing him with them.

I've had to give him a bit of a kick up the behind to go and get tested - typical head in the sand scenario - I think he's scared of what it could reveal.

We are trying to stay positive. That's partly why I waited a year to initiate tests rather than the 6minths for over 35s. Each month I thought, maybe this will be our month.

Hello LuckyBlackKitty - welcome! This definitely sounds the right place, a fed up but positive thread!

AF hit me today, so I'm trying to stay positive about next cycle - in between the crazy lady tears and putting the vino in the fridge for tonight.

How does everyone's DH/DP cope with the roller coaster? We've become quite good at being kind, but it's so easy to just stress at him xxx