April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

I have my eye on a couple and am takng DS to try some out next week. I don't think he would like a tandem one. He likes to be able to see and I think it is unfair on the one who is on the bottom.

DH was just saying before that I haven't had any of those strange moodies I had last time where I hated him for weeks. 🙂 There is still time. He has been watching the football and I have had an early night. Bit of peace from him.

Yes that's the one lulu. It doesn't fit through a normal size door, but I tried putting ds in and dragging it sideways and it was quite light, but that was on a laminate floor so not sure how easy it would be in a shop or anything like that if there was just one door. It's only £109 in mothercare at the moment, it was £99 in smyths though the other week. It seems quite easy to manoeuvre though.

Ducky, is that the Joie aire twin? I have been looking at that one.

I never thought of that cupcake, bet ds will do the same to dd how did you find it getting through doors? I haven't used it yet because it only came today.

Is it your appointment and scan next week?

How is fil doing lulu? Good that sil has stopped feeling sick! Must be horrible to have it that long. I LOVE the name grace. That's dd's middle name

Oh cupcake the holiday sounds great! I love uk holidays and they're my only option as I'm terrified of flying and incredibly sea sick. I was considering taking the dc to Disneyland Paris but I don't think it's a good idea taking them out the country on my own for the first holiday!

Have had a few problems recently as I don't have a double pram, just a buggy board for ds. He keeps running off when we're out and about so I brought a joie next to me one with the pink and blue seats. Ds is very excited but he insists the pink seat is for his Spider-Man toy and defiantly not dd. I have a very small car and it's a very tight fit. Can't see out my back window though!

DH's names list is now
Ellis
Grace
Clementine
Evangeline (Evie)
Mia

I like all of them.

How many weeks left Cupcake?

SIL has stopped feeling sick- at last.

FIL has a chronic illness that flares up and takes weeks to settle back down. It is very debilitating when it happens. DH says it is quite a bad episode. That is why DS and I stayed at home - the last thing FIL needs is Ds fleeing around being noisy at the minute.

Hope you have a great time Cupcake. I don't know what we are doing. We might just stay at home this year or go to a cottage in Uk later in the summer. DH fancies Cornwall but it is a bit far I think. It is about 7 hours from up here.

Well, it wouldn't do for anyone to think your DH wasn't a good dad would it?
He wouldn't want that. He'll have to pay a good bit of maintenance when you get divorced won't he? I hope so.

I think you two both cope incredibly well and deal with two of the shittiest men I have heard of.

DH has been to his parents this weekend - FIL not well. I have felt a bit lonely but reading you two has made me give myself a talking to. Anyway, DS is in bed, DH is on his way home and I am eating a frozen yoghurt.

Cupcake he's an idiot I just do not understand why they won't see their own kids!!! Pisses me off no end!

I don't know if I mentioned, but before we were married (v)stbxh had inheritance of 50k, he used that as a deposit and I signed a trust to say if we split and the house was sold he would get it back. Because we got married and had kids that agreement no longer stands, if I say so. But I am a good person, and I wasn't in it for the money at all, so I agreed to stand by it when we split. Although at that time, I didn't know about his affair, and how evil he would be and what little interest he would have in his own kids. In all honesty, I'm hoping that if I stand by that, he will have his money and leave. I'm still feeling so controlled by him. Less than I was when I was with him, but still so controlled as he gets to demand when he sees the dc. He obviously isn't bothered about the kids, and as upsetting as it is, he doesn't care about dd in the slightest, if he was bothered he would want to see them more than an hour a week, if that. I think he's just doing it for show.

He's already prioritised his new girlfriend over the children so many times.

And what winds me up, I can't just drop everything and go out, I lost all my friends and can't make new ones as I don't go anywhere. He can. He goes out every weekend, he got a girlfriend, he's sat in our house and has everything his way. He's having a great time. He obviously fell out of love with me a long time ago, if he ever did love me. But he still tried to make me feel bad for leaving him.

Sorry for rambling on... again!

They can lulu, but I don't trust him to have them alone. Dd does not know him at all either.

I went to mediation. There's 95k left on mortgage, the house has been valued at 150k. I have said he can have his 50k back, as long as I get a minimum of 10k, as my current debts from moving and buying furniture stand at almost 5k, then I'll have my legal fees of 1.5-2k. So that would cover my debts, legal fees and then I would have some to put in the kids accounts and hopefully take them on holiday. I haven't been on holiday since I can remember. Think I was about 15 when I last went and ds would absolutely love to see the beach.

The mediator asked us what a realistic selling price is, I said 160 at a push due to the state, stbxh said 170. He said say it sells at 165, what are our current thoughts with the money, h said 'I will have my 50, and we'll split the rest 50/50.' I went mad. Not a thought for the kids, and he just wants as much as he can get. If I took it to court I have been advised he wouldn't get his 50k back and the whole amount would be split 70/30 to me. So me saying he can have his 50 is extremely generous!

He said he wanted to see the dc for an hour a week when he asks I said I want maintanence, he said he couldn't afford it, he also admitted he has spent the dc christmas money as apparently 'I looked at him like I didn't want it'. He forgot about the times I repeatedly asked for it, especially when I had to go buy ds new shoes the other week.

After spending their money taking his girlfriend out, and saying he couldn't afford to pay me maintanence, he is out with his girlfriend and her friends tonight celebrating his birthday, so far he has treated them to a meal and drinks in the pub, then he's throwing a big party at our house. I drove past earlier, he has brought so much booze he couldn't carry it so has brought back a trolley which he had dumped in the front garden wtf is wrong with him.

What he's forgetting, he's too greedy with money to pay for a solicitor, therefore it will be my solicitor typing up all the agreements so I will have the final say of who gets what.

He also confirmed in mediation that he had the divorce and has read the reasons. He said he isn't happy with the content but isn't going to challenge it. It's being sent to the courts on Monday and I think then it's just waiting to go before a judge.

I could be divorced pretty soon

Ducky - can't mediation sort out the access and the maintenance? He must pay for the children- it can be taken straight from his salary.

Oooh is doing your hospital bag still exciting? I found with ds, I packed it and re packed it hundreds of times making loads of check lists and stuff but with dd it was just lobbed in and I took the bare minimum

I have just ignored his text. I shall be seeing him later at mediation. I'm nervous. My dm is having the dc. Hope she gets on ok, ds is very much a nannys boy and as soon as he sees her holding dd he demands she gives her to me and picks him up!

Cupcake I do not miss the Brixton hicks! So exhausting! Do you have any more scans now? Who will be with you for the birth?

Lulu, he hasn't got himself a solicitor, he's far far too tight for that. He just wants as much money as he can get his hands on. That's all he's bothered about. He'll probably blow the lot on himself and his girlfriend! Poo for lunch!? how long will dh be having off when the baby is born?

Whenever I have been to the house stbxh post is usually unopened on the side, so I have no idea if he has actually read the petition. I would be interested to know if he did or not, as it would put me at ease knowing he did, as in my mind that would be him accepting what he has done to me. It had about dv in there and his affairs. He's not mentioned anything to me, I didn't know he had it yet until I spoke to my solicitor today.

Can I ask some advice. I have probably mentioned before, but stbxh doesn't drive. He's sat in our house, not cleaning it and refusing to move things (on the advice of the estate agent to get asking price), was happy to see ds and I homeless, any time he has asked I have got dc ready, in the car and down to see him using my petrol, all he had provided for them is about 2/3 max tubs of formula and a couple of packs of nappies. He has his girlfriend there and is always out partying every week without fail aswell as taking his girlfriend regularly out to meals etc, yet when I have asked for maintenance he has said no. Am I unreasonable for ignoring his text tonight demanding to see them Friday? I can't stand him but feel like such a bitch. And when he's with ds it feels so forced with him, he pays practically 0 attention to dd, she doesn't have a clue who he is.

Fx he does not reply Ducky and it just goes through. Then you will be rid of him. Has he even got himself a solicitor?

DS came to see midwife with me today. She asked him was he looking forward to having a baby sister and he said 'No'. She asked him if he is a good boy and he said 'No' . She asked him what he had for lunch and he said 'Poo'. All the while he was smiling. Then he ran round the room with a car in his hand makng car noises.

Cupcake, I am feeling very lively and full of energy for some reason. I pushed DH for 4 miles today along the seafront and we had an hour in the park playing. Don't know why I am so energetic and not tired. I was up at 5.30am because I was wide awake.

Oh lulu I had the wind issue too!! Very glamorous!!

My ds is currently saying dude after everything haha

Stbxh has until Friday to challenge the divorce petition thing. If there's no contact from him by Friday the solicitor is sending it to the courts to wait to go before a judge to finalise the divorce fingers crossed!

And have had terrible wind today and yesterday - lots of it . Another of the less dignifying aspects of pregnancy.

DS loves his room. He wants us to go away and leave him alone in it. 'My big boy bed'.

Today he spoke to MIL on the phone and she asked him what he had done today and he said 'a big poo'. That is DH's fault.

'Poo' is one of DS's favourite words at the moment, that and 'Oh poop'. DH h started to say 'Oh poop' instead of 'Oh shit' if DS is there and something goes wrong and DS is copying him.

I am 26 weeks and 2 days- only 13 and a bit weeks left.

Names at the moment on DH's list are:
Evangeline 'Evie'
Isobel
Elinor
Clementine 'Clemmie'
Mia

I lke 'Evie' and Isobel and Clemmie.

I wanted a waterbirth with dd, my midwife said it would be fine, another said no way, then my lead consultant said it would be fine and I saw a different one when she was off who said no chance, so I think it just depends on who you see!

Hope they sort it for you! Is he big on his growth chart?