Thread for the down at heart and lacking in optimism

Duchesse - drs are pants, there's no two ways about it. I mean, really

Impatience - I soooo know how you feel!!! I had this last month - I was a few days late, and I just wanted someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery so I could move on. And lo and behold, AF turned up and did just that. Bah, humbug.

Hello to all you other fellow curmudgeonly ones

OK, Miriam says EDD 8 September. Shall I put in my diary? I'll keep you posted. Am actually feeling a bit crampy now, although that could be my enormous hangover, because I ache all over ... So if I start bleeding you'll be the first to know, my understanding buddies.

I say it again: Thank God (ok, Duchesse) for this thread!

Impatience - you're pregnant, you're pregnant, you're pregnant. There that should do it!!

cedar12 - my dd is the same age and also keeps asking for a sister

I was lying in bed this morning, having always believed I had a 28 day cycle, and it finally dawned on me that I have a 26 day one usually. I always count 3 weeks from last day of period and that's when the next one starts.

How many bloody years has it taken me to work that out? Bloody hell .

Not sure what to do about it though.

Do I win the "most stupid of the day" prize?

An august baby - how lovely!!! Is that enough of a jinx?? Try talking about baby names - hey that was enough of a jinx to give me an ectopic...so NO don't start talking about baby names!!!

I need some jinxing help from you ladies who will understand. I am usually a fairly reliable 28-day girl. Today is day 38 and no sign of my period. Done about a million tests, all neg. Also no other signs except general fatigue, but then I'm working my socks off and sleep badly.

Of course anyone who hadn't had all the positivity drained out of them through repeated FTC (read Failure to conceive) would say excited things like Oohh you could be pg! I don't think I am. My cycle was weird this month: I started getting cm really early, and insem'd a few times but then had to go away and carried on having cm for about a week. I have no idea when/if I ov'd and typically this is the one month when I don't have full temp history because of travelling/being poorly/not sleeping etc.

So I might be pg. If so, it'll now be over 3 weeks since ov. Or I might not have ov'd at all or ov'd too late for my inseminations to work, so I'm just waiting for my cycle to end so I can get on with the next one.

I'm getting very fed up waiting, and there are little bits of hope that keep creeping up and poking me in the eye. Also I have drunk soooo much this month, so this just bloody well would be the month I conceived... The suspense is doing my head in.

So please jinx me. Can we please pretend that we all think I'm pg, so that my period will then start? Thanks!

Just did another bloody pregancy suprise suprise negative again. Trying for 2 years had an ectopic in this time though. Its feels like it will never happen. Only have one tube and did ovulation test last month and had no surge so not sure why i did test thought i might have done them wrong. Just broke my diet to and ate a packet of dd chocolate buttons. She is 3 1/2 and really wants a little sister, she keeps asking me to get her one.

Sorry... LOL...

Some reassurance - although I poo my pants and obviously insanely paranoid, I have never been attacked, raped or murdered...

Hope that helps...

Least you have you son there, how old is he?

a knife to bed? i would probably forget all about it and accidently stab my ds when he got into bed with me in the morning!

thanks for reassuring me there is nothing to be scared of by the way!!!! you are as bad as my friends i was talking earlier!......i was telling them how scared i was of someone breaking in, expecting them to say "dont be daft, you will be fine!" and instead they just agreed with me and started telling me horrible stories! i am really shitting my pants now!

What a bummer... It's horrid when you feel like you have wasted a month!

God you sound like me.... I hate being in the house by myself.. I poo my pants... I normally have loads of phones strapped to me and take a knife to bed... I hate it..

its quality not quantity of mucus by the way! so as long as its the right stuff i think youre ok!

oh rahrah! ironing boards! sounds like fun!
i am sitting here crapping myself everytime i hear a noise cos i am on my own and convinced that someone is going to break in and rape/kill/attack me or maybe just steal everything in our house. i am no good on my own!
i normally ov around cd25, i think its just later this month which is typical when i dont want it to be.
oh well....always next month! AAAAARRRGGGHHHH! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT TO ME!!!!

Nope always gloomy...

Some people do not ovulate every month. Do you normally ovulate? I am not sure if I've ovulated as the ovulation sticks that I used (cost me bloody £20 for 5) did not show a surge. I had a bit of side ache and mucus around cd13, but have had a pain in my side again today and some more of that mucus and on cd18. How much mucus is a good sign, I've hardly been getting any?

Anyway highlight of my weekend is that I went and brought a new iron and ironing board. I was quite excited by the new board,,it has good height, an extension lead and two racks for cloths.....wow life is exciting when your wishing away the days in between periods...

wow! nobody gloomy today? just me hey! my dh has gone away for work and left me for 10 days. really pissed off cos i still havent ovulated and i would have thought by day 30 i should have done! AAAARRRGGGHHH! feel like a fraud being in her but i AM miserable and gloomy and i fancied a rant!

Plus I need to catch soon, as don't want to risk getting pregnant and being due in November (as that's Bertie's month)... So would have to stop trying in March for a month. How quick has that come round! It's sod's law, when your not pregnant time flies and when you are it is so slow as you need to hang on to the pregnancy and be further gone than you are.

I was due on the Feb one, for torture and a step closure to my insanity move, I was looking through the thread.... Keep off those threads!!

Hi Pinkelephant and Rahrah,
I know this really won't help, and I remember reading about other baby-after- giving-up stories, and not feeling they were at all beneficial to me. But here's another one anyway - When I was going to antenatal classes there was a woman there who was pregnant after 16 years of trying and several miscarriages. Not much help, and I can't offer any advice. But I can tell you that when it does happen, you forget all those crap years that went before. So very crappy...
DH has poured two wines, cheers.

HI duchesse - thanks for your email address....are you sure you want me mailing you....lol

Hi PinkElephant

The midwife has suggested Sands, I have been on their forum and website, but I think it had a bit of a detrimental effect, as there are some people that have had multiple losses of different natures or their experience has just got worse....basically I read some stories and feel like there is absolutely no hope of ever having a live child. I think I just focus on the worse case scenario, because there are lots of women that belong to sands that have gone on to conceive and have healthy children.

I know sands have support meetings, but I think I would just find it too emotional. I am crying all the time at the moment and could not bare doing it in front of people I don't know.

What is NCT?

Another support group that they have suggested is CRUSE, that is a bereavement organisation.

Sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy, it must be very hard to have to wait....life sucks! (my favourite phase at the moment)

Hi calmontheoutside

You obviously can relate to what is being said on this thread and seem to be lack in adequate optimism for another pregnancy...So welcome to the hut.

I'm 31 and husband is 30, have been trying to conceive for 1year and half and then fell pregnant, but we lost the pregnancy at 24 weeks. (8.11.06 - had lots of heavy bleeding from 10 weeks), we are back to conceiving pretty fast, as panicking that it will take us years again to conceive and then been told we have a higher risk of M/C - they cant find anything wrong with me, but had another pregnancy that ended at 9 weeks with a previous partner. Really feel like children are a distant dream and lack the whole process has been taken away from us... it should be an enjoyable experience, but it has been truly testing for us...

Hi calmontheoutside I think i just crossed with you. Welcome to the page. I have only recently joined this thread as I'm feeling a bit sensitive and pitiful following my ectopic last week. It was our first pregnancy and we were so excited after 8 month of TTC. We are the same age as you and DH and at the moment I am wondering if having children is ever going to happen at all now. My life feels like its on hold until the summer when we can start TTC again. Good luck to you both.

Rahrah1 - I wouldn't worry about your midwife's feelings....I don't think she has any!! Talk about being as subtle as a sledgehammer. Do you think you are gaining anything from her sessions? Can she not put you in contact with other ladies who have experienced what you have gone through? Perhaps there is a support group related to the NCT? Just a thought....

Sorry, Hut of Glum. Although - just how many are you??

I shouldn't be here, but I took a peek in and am utterly drawn to your Hut of Glum. We are utterly happy still with our two year old DD, conceived after five years of watching every other bump in the street with despair, friends deciding to and just getting pregnant, MIL suggesting that she didn't like sex either but nowadays you can do something about it. She reckons she only had sex five times in eight years, the five times she conceived. Of course you shouldn't tell an eighty year old how much you love sex, but she so infuriated me that I was compelled to use the O word as an illustration.
During the five years we lost three very, very early on, weeks 5-6. The third time happened just before DSIL announced she was pregnant with their second child. Reading your stories brings back such memories of hope and then no hope... and forever watching other pregnant women and being jolly welcoming in hospitals to friends' babies and going home feeling so, so low.
We finally got DD, joy of joys, after IVF, first time. I'm sorry, am I allowed to be here?
On a more glum note, we have been TTC again for the last year, and I suspect things aren't going to be easy. DH of thirteen years is 40, I'm 35, we don't seem to try on the correct days anymore. Colds, hangovers, tiredness account for at least half of our ovulation missed opportunities... I feel that this time we've mentally decided that it probably won't work and that's easier to deal with if we haven't bothered to try...
People really don't know what to say do they? Our doctor when we moved to a beautiful remote part of Scotland, said of our troubles, 'I've never really had anything like that before here...' And the other doctor there shouted out through the door one time 'Have you got the infertility results for Mrs Calmontheoutside?' Small town/large village, open door to the waiting room...
I'm not downhearted this time, we have, as I said, had our very very good luck with DD. If it doesn't happen again, I won't be in the same sad place as last time. Don't get me wrong, I'll be looking out for AF until menopause (Don't want to think about that). And getting upset about it every month. But it just isn't the same as the feelings before DD.
Anyway, really, I hope so much that you get what you want. Too early for wine, but I raise my glass to the House of Glum tonight.