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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Thread for the down at heart and lacking in optimism

380 replies

duchesse · 28/12/2006 19:33

I probably shouldn't do this, but...lovely though the ladies on my current ttc threads are, there are times when I feel I need a break from the upbeat atmosphere.

My story- 38, going on 39, three children easily conceived in my 20s, ttc number 4 for 3 years before finally achieving a pregnancy that ended in foetal death at 12 weeks and miscarriage at 13 weeks (Oct 2006).

Frequent lapses of hope. I simply can no longer believe that it will all be OK, that this month will be the one.

Now contemplating stopping trying.

OP posts:
eclipse · 10/01/2007 23:13

LatenightOwl, I was watching the same thing. Right there with you. And Greedy, hang on to that spliff if she's not even going to inhale. Pass it the other way. Happy to pass what's left of the gin though. Bubble of tonic as a token nod to sobriety??
Impatience, are you perve officially or has greedy just taken against you? If you are Perve, how come? I'm so jealous if you truly earned that title.
Definitely here as a voyeur this month as abstaining from ftc'ing, unless biology has changed since I studied it.
ura21, sorry you had a rubbish day. Keep starting positive and optimistic messages but then delete them for fear of losing my place on the bench of melancholy. But lurking in my subconscious I'm trying to send you positive vibes, just don't tell anyone.
duchesse, hope all goes well in court ofr your sister. Come back soon and keep us all in line.

LatenightOwl · 10/01/2007 23:01

here you are Ura (hands Ura the bottle of gin) take a swig of this and chill out with us - plenty of armchairs here with knackered cushions for you to curl up on - welcome to the hut of doommmmmmmyou can sleep the night here if you want I think all the others have gone!

ura21 · 10/01/2007 22:43

hi all af arrived this am, early too, so no wasted tests, but no hope either. have had enough, had to serve three big pg ladies (each with a toddler in tow too) at work today within about 10 mins of each other. feel like a failure. why can't i do the one thing my body is designed for?

LatenightOwl · 10/01/2007 22:35

Hi folks,
good to see all are keeping to doom and gloom, a safe haven at last!
AF came today for me - I was convinced I had a BFP all last week (thats why I sort of kept out of the hut - cos had a slight bit of hope) but no - just wishful thinking cos Ive got an IVF appointment next week and I kept thinking if I get a BFP this time, I can spend the money on baby rather than trying to make it and then I keep reading about clinics just doing it to grab as much money as poss and I feel really crap. Crap programmes on TV too of people buying expensive houses and then gosh women of the house just happens to get pregnant - I tried not to be sick I am soooooo fed up and need a very strong drink - any neat gin going girls??? Greedy - pass the the splif,I promise not to inhale .....
So what's this about long cycles then? Im a bit thick when it comes to human biology (but having to learn quick with the GP's in our area ) a mate of mine used to ovulate but not have AF's - is this possible or do you think she just blinked and missed them? I ov practically every 20 days and have been trying since year dot so can well and truely join the FTC club and have horrible AF's (tmi??) - Where's my drink gone (stares into the bottom of the glass) god Ive drank it already - any one for top ups???

pesme · 10/01/2007 21:06

ok, i have been lurking on the 'other' threads for a while but i am soo COMPLETELY F**KED off. my af was 5 days late which it never is and then it came and i have been trying for 1.5 years and i am sooo sad and really want another baby aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

greedyforbabies · 10/01/2007 21:03

sorry...i know 'x x' is a bit out of order in the hut of gloom i will never do it again....i just love old perve and don't like to hear her sad!

greedyforbabies · 10/01/2007 21:02

oooohhh! a spliff would feel a bit naughty, cos i haven't for so long......but i am sure i could cope! you really sound like you are in the right place tonight on this thread perve! not a good day hey? if it makes you feel any better i have had a lovely day! (what a bitch hey!). i am sure tomorrow will be lovely for you and hell for me! reckon af must be around the corner for you....thats good though isn't it? then you can start from cd1 again. you didnt get any inseminations in recently did you? you must have ov'd late mustn't you? when was your last insem? is there a real chance that you could be pg or not? i know you have done 7000 tests already! ...........not sure if saying af is on her way is a good thing or not.....think i will just stick to being nasty to you....its easier!!!
WOW listen to that ramble! ok perve, lets just hope you have a better day tomorrow and get a good nights sleep tonight. x x

Impatience · 10/01/2007 20:44

Actually greedy I'm really p'ed off and just screamed at ds to go to sleep. Slept really badly last night, worked really hard all day, have spend the last couple of hours doing bill shite and being stumped by incompetence and ds is just refusing to go to sleep. Poor love, he's mainly just singing to himself, but I can't go downstairs till he's asleep and I just want to salvage something from the day that hasn't been slogging my arse off. I'll be in bed within the hour. F'ing marvellous fun this had been today.

Thanks for asking!

So yes, made it through day 40 with no bleeding, but perhaps my extreme unreasonable snappiness indicates something's on the way...

Sorry you're stuck in no-sperm-land. How tedious and annoying. Someone pour me a very large drink and I'll roll us a huge spliff.

rahrah1 · 10/01/2007 20:44

Yes, the tragic ones...

I hope your ovulation lasts for your DH to get back, how about in future you get him to leave some for you, you can turkey base it when needed...

God I hope my DH is not away during my ovulation, I would be well pee'd with him. But it's always sod's law.. (I think I will take charge of his diary!)

greedyforbabies · 10/01/2007 19:53

rahrah - what sort of real life stories do you read? the really tragic ones do you mean? i would if i got the chance/ didnt waste all my spare time on here!

just to keep you all posted on my world record attempt, i am now cd33 and not an egg in site! how crap is my body? i am now hoping i dont ov for another week until dh returns from his travels! but you just know that know i dont want to ov i probably will!

how are you perve? did you make it to day 40? i hope you celebrated in style...the big 4 0 is worth celebrating!

rahrah1 · 10/01/2007 19:18

Does anyone else here read the weekly magazines with true life stories in to make them feel better? How sad am I...

Original poster
duchesse · 10/01/2007 10:46

Prof Lesley Regan and some other fertiity specialists are on Woman's Hour at the moment- nearly at the end, but you can listen again through the computer.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 10/01/2007 09:21

Hi all, I'm away for a few days looking after my second sister's kids while she testifies at her psychotic ex's trial for harassment. Wish her luck that he gets an anger management order at the very least. Oh, and her stuff back.

Back on Friday, probably.

OP posts:
eclipse · 09/01/2007 21:18

Hi, All. Don't get to the computer too regularly so just popping in to see what's what and to check any whiff of optimism is being monitored closely. Ready, are you still skulking happily behind that door?

Impatience, I'm sure you're right that a few months off bd'ing won't make any difference in the grand scheme of things. I can save the wasted hpt money to spend on holiday cocktails, or at least I could if I could just stop compulsive testing to confirm the immaculate conception. Next time I'm about to do it, I'll 'fess up in the hut and you can all mock and jeer and see if you can bash some sense into me.

greedyforbabies · 09/01/2007 20:41

PUSSYCAT! you beat me! my longest cycle ever is 65 days! i thought i was the world record holder, in fact i nearly phoned Noris Mcwhatever hes called to tell him to put me in the guinness book of records. Then i realised he would probably need to verify my cycle length for the world record attempt and i couldn't face showing my bloody knickers on live TV saying "yep, this is it, finally on day 65 my period has arrived!!!!"
anyway...if you are that irregular and your body is as crap as mine then the blood could be anything!!! i frequently get spotting throughout my cycle at random times!

BUT! on a more positive note (sorry, look away gloomy people!) i have always had a weird body and cycle and still managed to concieve 2 beautiful children!

Ready · 09/01/2007 19:55
Grin
Ready · 09/01/2007 19:55

Ok.. so this is why I shouldn't really come into the hut of gloom... Yesterday utter despair, plenty of feeling sorry for myself, mood swings, strops and tears. Today, optimistic, upbeat and raring to go!!! It makes no sense!!

pussycatmomma · 09/01/2007 19:04

sorry cross posted.
I went to my gp before about irregular cycle length, i once went 68 days (beat that impatience!! ) at other times i can go as little as 22. Gyny has put it all down to pcos. I dont really want to go to hosp any sooner because i feel as if im not giving it a good enough "go" after the drilling, but tbh, i am getting so impatient and hacked off, things just dont seem to be improving.

pussycatmomma · 09/01/2007 19:01

duchesse....thankyou sweetie, but i think you are mixing me up with someone else? I (fortunately) have never had an ectopic pregnancy. Pregnancy of any kind for that matter. In april i am just going back to gyny for appt, no scan that i know of, just for a "how are you doing, what are we doing next" appt.

Original poster
duchesse · 09/01/2007 18:59

Sorry Pussycat= confusing you with PinkElephant re ectopic- having one of those days... Still, the going to the quack thing and talking about the blood could be a good move. Either that, or you might have ovulated- if you have polycystic ovaries, it might cause some bleeding if you were to ovulate completely, I;d imagine. Go quack quack and see if they can do a scan would be my advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 09/01/2007 18:56

Pussycat- the sites I just visited seem to suggest that mid-cycle (not "breakthrough"- that was me not thinking straight- it's what you get while you're on the Pill sometimes) bleeding can happen where hormones are out of balance. Having said that, other sites seemed to suggest that it should never be considered normal, and maybe you should go to your GP with it- if nothing else, you can act really worried, and they should be able to get you in to the hospital sooner than April for a scan. Maybe you haven't passed everything yet... It could equally be lochia from the ectopic site.

OP posts:
Impatience · 09/01/2007 18:51

Duchesse, I thought the jinz was working: felt crampy and thought period was coming, but all signs have b*ggered off again now. Did another test this morning which didn't even have an evaporation line. It shall be the magic 4 0 tomorrow - never had a cycle that long before!

I feel cheated that this was the one month in nearly 3 years that i didn't temp chart. I have had high temps since last weekend, but if only I knew when they'd hiked I could know when af due. Bloody typical! Grrrrrrr

Impatience · 09/01/2007 18:46

Oh Pussycat, I know just how you feel! Even with far less persuasive symptoms than yours, like feeling completely normal!

Say you ov'd on the text book day 14 you'd be 10 days PO which isn't too early for implantation... So it could be. But I aint sending you balloons and flowers yet 'cause we all know how this is likely to turn out... Keep us posted though, and if we have to push you out of the hut with a congratulatory soft drink all the better!

pussycatmomma · 09/01/2007 18:14

thanks duchesse. ... although i think all my cycles are anovultory, i dont think i am ovulating at all. Havent heard of breakthrough bleeding before. Can you give me an idea? I was diagnosed with pcos last may and apart from ovarian surgery (drilling) i havent had any treatment/am not on any meds to help me ovulate. Got to wait till april till next gyny appt and it is killing me.

Original poster
duchesse · 09/01/2007 18:10

Probably" just breakthrough bleeding, Pussycat- maybe you're having an anovulatory cycle. They often end in a period anyway, despite the lack of ovulation. Only way to find out is wait a week, and in the meantime, stick to virtual drinking... ;)

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