Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Thread 9. TTC#1 The thread where we unanimously delete Ovia.

909 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 30/01/2016 17:06

Symptom spotters, tww - ers, slightly hysterical hormone laden ladies! Regs, lurkers, intermittent posters! Our raison d'etre is 'am I pregnant?' Depending on how much Ovia (Whybird/Ovibitch) has pissed us off/messed with our fw she is either the oracle or a sanctimonious charlatan.

Just a warning, we move FAST! Our threads last on average, about a week before they're full.

Thread 9 , Welcome one and all! Group of weirdos, wee hoarders, covert opk or okp, depending on what your autocorrect decides addicts with a side business in CM management!

We do not judge, we enjoy TMI, we i encourage waiting to poas nobody listens and all the grossness you can find from a group of intelligent, articulate ladies. Fart stories make us laugh, stories about cervical mucus, pooing, cysts and nausea equally welcome.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kat, I have been dubbed the resident piss stick queen loaaaaaads of bfp'ers who keep us positive! We don't have rules, we love a good symptom spot, we try to stay grounded and not be hysterical sometimes we manage it aswell

We like acronyms, we make some up: PET = Proper expensive test. We love the d(h)...which can of course mean 'dearest' or 'dickhead' why, what were you thinking?

Thread 9. TTC#1 The thread where we unanimously delete Ovia.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
31
StarkyTheDirewolf · 03/02/2016 17:38

fx I know I'm lucky my with dh, out of me and him, he is much more tactile and cuddly. He knows that if I say no, I'm not feeling it, to back off. He doesn't mither, but when I'm struggling I know I went off sex massively. And with him being a bouncer, if he kept his "game balls" we'd probably never have sex! Not sure entirely how his training for this comp will effect him but he used to box and he said it never had an effect on his sex drive. I met him just as he retired that's definitely a good idea about your testing schedule too. I've been going off my longest cycle too, ovia telling me to test in 9 days! Af isn't even due till at the earliest the 21st!

jem my dsis has a horse, but I'm not allowed to give him sugar lumps because it makes him naughty and nippy! Grin Im also banned from giving him mints because he just follows me around the paddock whinnying and ignores her instructions!

miley I know I'm going on about it, but I honestly can't recommend cbt enough, it really does make a difference. Anxiety sucks balls! And I think that's where my aversion to testing comes from, because if I test, I will get anxious and study the test, and then get into a routine of testing and worrying. Where's if I don't, I have no control over it, and it has no control over me! Obviously I have no control anyway but making the decision to "let go" has made me much more calm about it!

Dtd today, immediately after I felt terrible! Knowing the death count going on in my vag! It felt like when the Orcs were invading helms deep and all the little elves and goblins and men were like "nooooooo" and there's my uterus with a Gandalf beard going "yoooou shall not paaaass!" So, in short, I probably need professional help.

OP posts:
Moggysinger · 03/02/2016 17:30

Awww sucha your cat is super cute!! I am a mad cat lady and have always wanted a black cat, I have one big fluffy black and white fur baby but I would have more if I could get away with it!

I heard the horses and sugar cubes thing too, was it from the film black beauty?!

fx i hear ya on the dtd ttc front ... I find our libidos have fluctuated massively over the years dh and I have been together depending on what's going on in our lives. i find it hard to practice what I preach but I have always found that communication is key! Even if it is embarrassing or difficult to discuss. I kind of wish that it wasn't the way to make a baby tbh and that it could just stay as a separate, fun activity forever! But it is the only way we're going to make a baby therefore am aiming to dtd every other day and am determined to keep it fun this month! Grin

FXSkip · 03/02/2016 17:25

OMG my little catten LOVES dreamies - if they aren't immediately decanted into an airtight jar he just shreds the packets!! Is Max a bombay?

Yes to pet pics Grin I wish we could accurately put cat purrs into words - like when someone is upset and 'you'll be ok' doesn't cut it, if you could just purr at them and not be deemed insane. I'm sure I've mentioned before (a hundred threads ago) that we have a surprisingly high prevalence of anxiety disorders on this thread, but I absolutely attribute that to the high level of intellect.

SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 16:40

Here’s our little furry baby, Max.

He’s got a vet appointment this afternoon. DH just text saying it took him 20 minutes and half a pack of dreamies to get him in the basket. Hahahaha.

Thread 9. TTC#1 The thread where we unanimously delete Ovia.
SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 16:36

Good god that dog is adorable

SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 16:34

Snow “If you're busy with work and family and life in general, combining that with knowing you have to dtd within a certain window, it's stressful”

This is so true. I want to DTD every day from now until at least Monday ideally, as I’ve got EWCM. I know DH is going to feel a bit uncomfortable about this, but I just want to feel like I’ve given it the best shot we can.

starky I see. I thought at first you might have a horse, but then I thought – you don’t give horses sugar cubes do you? I’ve no idea where that thought came from.

It’s incredible how common anxiety is isn’t it? Second your advice on waiting for it on the NHS. I was seeing a lovely counsellor from around July to December last year, and it helped me a huge amount – got me off the wretched antidepressants.

Mileymoocow · 03/02/2016 16:13

starky I've suffered with GAD since big 7 years old. I'm ok at the moment but I'll bare in mind cbt if when it flares up again. Mine turns into an eating disorder much like yours turns into ocd. It's so shit having it take over your life so I'm so glad you've managed to get some relief from it

StarkyTheDirewolf · 03/02/2016 15:55

Ooh my gooooood and also squeeeeeee! Frank is sooooo cute! I love him!

I was so dubious about cbt, I didn't believe in talk therapy until I had my first lot 4 years ago. And then I started backtracking about 6 months ago and was referred for a refresher course. I've not been on medication for 3 years, the gp gave me some when I went back but I have always been reluctant to take it.

I cut out alcohol and carbonated drinks, and have been careful of my refined sugar intake, sweets with gelatin are terrible for me, and msg makes me bonkers.

My dad is we think, although undiagnised high functioning aspergers and my dm is a perfectionist, I've got all of their worst traits rolled up into my personality!

I know I'm probably going on, but a good cbt practitioner will help more than I can tell you. I can relax for the first time in months, I had a constant knot of worry in my diaghram, I struggled to go out of the house and couldn't mix with people at all! It was horrific living at that level of hysteria 24/7. It's not "therapy" as such, but abiut putting one foot in front of the other and gradually realising that the world won't fall apart, and that, even if it does, there's very little one individual can do about it, and what they can do, is learn coping strategies. I still have occasional bad days, but I can manage much better now. Flowers

OP posts:
Eudaemonia · 03/02/2016 15:53

omg frank is so cute! I think more cute animal pictures would make us all less stressed and therefore more likely to get pregnant.

FXSkip · 03/02/2016 15:51

Thank you everyone - Starky, elle, jem and any I've missed, for your honest responses. Its another 'competitive bullshit' thing I think - other women I know talk about how their husbands 'constantly pester them for sex' and how they 'cant get enough' but I wonder if they mean that because they never initiate? If I didn't, we'd dtd once a week - BUT OH wont do it if he's playing rugby (he thinks Game Balls are a thing) and I don't like it if we are hungover so that can often rule out entire weekends.

Anyway, I have taken Starky's advice and decided that, although Ovia is predicting AF on the 8th Feb (and therefore testing then) I am going to wait until AF shows up, or test on 20th Feb as this will be in line with my previous 39 day cycle. So, Kat please change my testing date to 20th Feb? Thanks muchly Smile

Pugmummy87 · 03/02/2016 15:41

Thanks Stark
I will let him know that, I think he is a bit dubious that it will help, but it got really bad during the summer and that's when he went back to the gp and asked for a referral to mental health services as the medication just didn't seem to be cutting it. He saw a specialist back in October who recommended cbt and also suggested the cutting out carbonated drinks etc.
He's struggled all he's life with it, plus a ? Autistic spectrum disorder , which he finally got a diagnosis of high functioning autism several weeks ago. So I'm hoping he will benefit from it all round.

I'm sorry but I have to share this rather cute picture of my pug Frank who turned 1 yesterday.(hence my username) I made him a cake too lol. Most definitely a crazy Pug lady.

Thread 9. TTC#1 The thread where we unanimously delete Ovia.
StarkyTheDirewolf · 03/02/2016 15:21

Eudaemonia the waiting is expletive horrible! And especially in your position I think the stress and worry is tenfold, because each cycle means so much. Forgive me, I don't have a lot of knowledge on donor iui and ivf. Flowers

OP posts:
StarkyTheDirewolf · 03/02/2016 15:17

pug I've got an generalised anxiety disorder (which, when I'm struggling, develops into ocd tendency) I have found cbt a MASSIVE help. I've just completed an 8 week course, and my life has brightened tenfold. Anxiety is one of those things which I think hit most people at some point in their life. I never believed cbt could work, but it does. If only because it's an unbiased outside person to talk to. Small steps and easy goals make life more manageable. I would heartily recommend it to your Dh. It takes a while on the nhs but it is so worth it. And I think waiting till the 17th is a fantastic plan.

planeteer I feel awful sometimes when I come on and I'm all "calm down dear" but, I honestly believe it's better to wait and see with testing. Our bodies play tricks, pms symptoms and pregnancy symptoms are so similar it's virtually impossible to call. And I don't think getting worked up about it helps, it can be a hinderence, because our bodies feel the stress and clamp up!

jem if we have sugar, like proper sugar, when my Dh makes me a cup of tea I'm lucky if I don't go into some kind of diabetic shock I'm not diabetic because he puts in so much! Where's with lumps, it's easier, as he can count to two! Grin

OP posts:
Snowdog37 · 03/02/2016 15:16

It's tough even with sex on tap, I've found. If you're busy with work and family and life in general, combining that with knowing you have to dtd within a certain window, it's stressful. I love my dh and I really enjoy our sex life but even ttc doesn't stop me sometimes feeling like I'd rather just have an early night! My aim is to dtd at least 2-3 times between 0-3 and 0+1 that way hopefully there will be some swimmers where they need to be. And hopefully dh won't be so worn out lol he can enjoy some none ttc sex too so he doesn't feel like I just want him for his goods.

Eudaemonia · 03/02/2016 14:32

Thanks Stark! That countdowntopregnancy website looks good. I like the calculator- makes it all nice and clear. I know I should wait. It's so hard not obsessing over it though!

The most difficult thing for me is knowing that each new cycle is a very expensive new opportunity. There are only going to be a few more of them because I am having donor IUI so even though success rates are very similar to just trying for a baby normally I will be encouraged down the IVF route after only 6 goes. Of course the expense makes it very easy for me to justify splashing out the cash for pregnancy tests but all it does is make me more stressed I think.

I sometimes feel quite envious of people who have ready access to sperm, it feels like a lot of pressure to know that I don't get many attempts and for all I know the timing might be off because I ovulate earlier/later after the LH surge than usual. On the other hand it sounds like feeling like you have to DTD at the right time is pretty unpleasant for a lot of people so at least I avoid that bit.

ElleSarcasmo · 03/02/2016 14:26

Pugmummy good work! I would be more inclined to trust the smiley face Smile

Eudae as annoying as the 2ww is, I think you just have to sit it out, unfortunately and wait until AF due. Starky said it better than me!

Skip, I agree with Jem, having to initiate it doesn't mean you should be worried about the relationship. It always slows down in a long relationship and goes in peaks and troughs, our sex life has definitely suffered when I've been stressed and it sounds like your DH is? I finally made DH watch the great sperm race (thanks whoever posted it), so hope it's clearer that we really do need to do it on those exact days -we are weekenders for preference Wink

Glad you had the temp drop Snow! Sounds like you have put in a good effort this month!

SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 14:06

I meant to add to the less but good sex bit - until now! Grin

SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 14:06

starky sugar lumps?

pug “When DH and I first got together we were at it like rabbits. Then life sort of gets in the way and it had become less frequent. Which never bothered me that much as the sex we do gave is very good and we are quite a loving couple in other ways.
DH 's libido is affected by his anxiety disorder , which has actually improved over the last couple of months since cutting out carbonated drinks and cutting down on caffeine, he has his first cbt session next week, so I'm hoping that less anxiety will improve libido more. He certainly hasn't complained this week anyway.“

This sounds very familiar! Ditto on having less but good sex.

I hope the CBT helps your DH. I’ve been through a few rounds of it for panic and anxiety, and found it extremely helpful. A more sustained and longer term help than anti-depressants too, which I’ve now finally weaned off for TTCing 

Planeteer · 03/02/2016 13:57

Starky am sending a large number of baked goods and a big thumbs up for that last post. You are totally right, and it's a huge help having you here to occasionally bring sanity back into the mix! Thank you, you are a Star

Pugmummy87 · 03/02/2016 13:42

Starky you are the pissy stick Oracle.

I am also holding out until AF is due which is the 17th. I figure if I did ovulate Saturday then that will take me to 17dpo and it's either gonna be a clear bfp or bfn. If I only ovulated yesterday or today, that will make me 14dpo and again hopefully would be an obvious bfp or bfn on the 17th.
We will see, it's out of my hands and down to luck now, done our best (might squeeze in one more dtd today and then let poor DH have a few days rest!).

Such When DH and I first got together we were at it like rabbits. Then life sort of gets in the way and it had become less frequent. Which never bothered me that much as the sex we do gave is very good and we are quite a loving couple in other ways.
DH 's libido is affected by his anxiety disorder , which has actually improved over the last couple of months since cutting out carbonated drinks and cutting down on caffeine, he has his first cbt session next week, so I'm hoping that less anxiety will improve libido more. He certainly hasn't complained this week anyway. ☺

StarkyTheDirewolf · 03/02/2016 13:10

Welcome mrsminty !!

Coffee, shoe polish, teabags, sugar lumps, (ignore me, I need to commit this to paper before I forget when I'm out shopping!)

Eudaemonia frers have a sensetivity of 10 iu (most other tests are 20-25, the digis are 50) so are more likely to pick up earlier the hcg in your system if it's there...

However, you may not have produced enough to create a reaction of two lines, you may have only just implanted, (hcg is only produced after implantation, and then it will take a few days to cause a reaction, even if you had an implantation bleed, which are rare, only 30% of women have them) or of course, the most rubbish reason, you're not pregnant this cycle.

At 10/11 dpo it could go either way, but there's very little point doing expensive tests before af is due, for the most part it's just a massive waste of a test and money. Ic's can claim to be as sensitive as frers, it's not true, they are unreliable. Some are, some aren't, and of course, you'd never know if you had a good batch or a bad batch. But are definitely better for your wallet if it's just that you need to wee on something. I'm the same with opks It also depends on how long your cycle is. Mine can be up to 10 days "late" without actually being late. But assuming you're tracking your ovulation, 14/15 dpo is the best time to get an accurate test (with an expensive frer anyway)

Some people (like our choc ) don't produce enough of the hcg to register on a test even weeks into a pregnancy, but thats incredibly rare (she's special is our choc ).
www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/pregnancy_test_calculator.php this is a good calculator, it gives you a solid look at when's best to test including percentages.

Sorry if that felt like a lecture! We've had so much good luck and positivity on our thread, but I feel like we also have to be quite mindful of it not taking over our lives. Which it's so easy to do.

So, for me personally, I've had to be realistic and honest, especially on here. It's SUCH an emotional journey, and I decided last month on cycle 1 that I wouldn't test, partly because it's a waste of money, but also because if I start testing, ill get obsessed with it, and I've seen so many of the girls on here test for a week before af was due, wonder and have evaps that may be positives, then have af arrive and feel like they've wasted a fortune and are so disappointed.

I've got to keep my feet on the ground, because if I think I'm pregnant every cycle and tested, and then I'm not, then I'd be more disappointed than if I just waited and af arrived. Don't know if that makes sense but thats my logic working! I have an irregular cycle and I don't ovulate every month don't think my right side works so the odds are not in my favour! So I have to be very realistic about my chances. And I'm only on cycle 2! But the wonders of having a cycle mean, every time is a new go! Which is pleasing! In summary, waiting is better but if you can't, ic's are the way to go. 😃🐘🍰

OP posts:
iwillbemrsminty · 03/02/2016 12:32

Thanks Such and FX, lovely to meet you ladies Flowers Hoping I can join in with your stories soon when I have had my AF and Opia starts being more helpful as at the moment, she is just guessing! I'm mindful of the fact that I am 35 in July and DP in March and we need to get a move on!

SuchaJem · 03/02/2016 12:10

Hello mrsM

Fingers crossed for you snowdog

fxskip I initiate most of the time with DH too. I don’t think that means you are TTC to fix the rellie at all hon. All those things he said about stress, family illness and tiredness are completely libido killers. Have you talked to him about how you feel about this?

Just discovered EWCM when I nipped to the loo at work. Actually wondering if I can get DH to meet me at lunch for a quickie. Where though?!

Snowdog37 · 03/02/2016 11:23

As of today's temp rise I'm now either 1dpo (Kindara) or 4dpo (FF) Not sure which one is actually accurate but I'll take either! Hooray!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Jeeeeeeesus. That was a hairy couple of days thinking I'd actually broken myself. Looks like we dtd hopefully around the right times...

I fall asleep listening to music. Dh and my Favourite Sleepy Music is currently anything Pink Floyd. I like podcasts but never think to listen to them.

Now to start trying not to obsess.

FXSkip · 03/02/2016 11:21

Welcome MrsM please fee free to ignore my venting (that goes for everyone)