Thread 9. TTC#1 The thread where we unanimously delete Ovia.

I've missed loads!

Glad we have cervix poke only once a day rule, I've been doing it this cycle, more for getting data into FF and being able to ignore Ovia than anything else. The more I use FF the more I actually want to uninstall Ovia

I could not have a water birth, sitting there in all that poo and blood and, goodness knows what else, urrgghh.
I'd love a homebirth but I can't get over the slightly increased risk of harm to the baby if it is your 1st. MLU for me! Pretty much anything other than being strapped to a monitor on a hospital bed, is fine.

ever

Keep your chin up, you are doing just fine. Perhaps a relaxed approach is the best for you (probably best for all of us!), take it easy and don't put any pressure on yourself

Jem, sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. I totally understand where you're coming from. I used to go out with someone who was a bit similar to your OH (though probably much worse as they were generally just negative about everything ) and it can be such a downer when you're feeling excited about something. I now have a very happy-go-lucky DH but still often feel I'm the one trying to come up with new things to do and make life fun (organising trips etc.). Luckily though, he's happy to along with my crazy plans. On the plus side though, you clearly know him very well and know how to approach matters to make him comfortable. That is great and you probably work really well as a couple, complementing each other. Even if it takes a while to get him going! Don't worry, we're here for ya and rooting with you!

Jem I totally understand. I wish there were sticks for men to pee on (I think they'd enjoy it), or 'sperm ferning' (instead of saliva ferning - does anyone do that btw?) but they are a bit detached from the process I think. I am so glad we have this forum, seriously stops me going mad(der!)

Mog I'm a midwife, so I've known what I would sort of birth I would like ever since I started midwifery. I would love a home pool birth with my DH and possibly my mum there. My friend is a doula, she does postnatal though and I think I would have her as a doula after to help with bf etc.
However, I know the best laid birth plans can go awry, so really that's what I would hope for, but if I needed to go I to hospital or needed more pain relief (which worries me as I get horrendous period pain, so I'm either going to think I'm just in the early stages and end up giving birth on my own or I'll be crying out for an epidural after 1 hour lol), then so be it.

jem I'm glad I can vent on here too, DH doesn't completely get that theres only a few days each cycle in which pregnancy is a possibility, the only people that know we are TTC is my mum, my best friend (who is due in April and had mutiple miscarriages before getting her sticky bean, so she is very understanding) and a colleague at work (didn't want to let my entire team know as they would be second guessing everything I do lol).

I have to go and pick up my new glasses in a bit, now I can add rubbish eyesight to my list of things my body cannot do normally.

Sounds like it's really hard work Ever😞 I have to remind myself that it can take up to a year...but I want it now! So I keep struggling! OH is convinced it'll take ages which feels frustrating then any time I get excited or hopeful! None of this easy. Sending you lots of love xxx

Thank you all. Glad to hear that I am not alone. Yes, cycle 3 of trying. But everyone is different and different circumstances and I know that I would not try for over a year for sure. So knowing that most couples take six months to a year doesn't help me at all.It would be too difficult for me and too exhausting, plus I struggle with severe depression and anxiety on and off.
I also kind of know that is not going to happen for me, I can feel it. Even if I time everything perfectly.
Yes, maybe it is the hormones talking. But I feel exhausted and I am the least patient person on earth.
Moggi no, it makes me want it less. I am very much one of those that believe in karma and things happening for a reason, and I think that if it had been meant for me it would have happened already. So pretty much inclined to give up.
I think it would have been different if my partner had been more involved.

Oh skip I didn't know that! I feel it's too early for it to be morning sickness probably maybe so I'm hoping it's not a bug!

jem it's so awful that you feel alone in it. Please give him a kick up the jacksie from me.

elle I haven’t hon. To be honest I think he’s having a bit of a crisis with the whole thing. He’s very risk/change averse in general. Finds making decisions about even everyday things difficult. The thought of having a child and becoming a parent terrifies him – but he really wants kids. And he will be such a great dad, he’s a lovely man. I feel like I’m having to coax him along each step of the way though. It’s a bit exhausting and a bit lonely, as I want someone else to feel the excitement and initiate DTD and look forward to conceiving with me. I’m very very glad I have you lot to talk to about this, as I’m not really talking to anyone IRL about it.

You cycle share with me I think? Are you feeling ovulatory?

mog the control thing is so true. It also has always seemed to me like the kind of experience that you go along with – it’s ancient and its instinctive and our bodies were made to do it, so going along with the ride seems to make sense.

Really hope I haven’t offended anyone by saying three months doesn’t seem that long to me. I can completely see how it can feel like a lifetime when it’s so wanted. I’m only on cycle two this month – and really really want it to happen already.

Ever, I totally get where you're coming from. We are at a similar stage and I think we're probably going to take a couple of months off from TTC (or at least actively TTC) for a few reasons. For me though, I feel like I'm wasting away my life at the moment in two week blocks always waiting for AF or FW to appear. It's pretty miserable isn't it?

Morning all, miley sorry (not sorry) you are feeling rubbish (Really happy for you actually, since morning sickness is usually an indicator of a strong pregnancy)
Ovia just helpfully chimed in with '42% of Ovia users report feeling calm during the TWW'. Well, Ovia, let me tell you something. 38% of Ovia users must be full of sh*t. Just kidding, I'm super calm, obvs. I'm crampy, irritable, tired and my nips are swollen - AF due in 4 days (apparently) so just want the witch to hurry on up. In other news, OH was talking about going away to work in London, but then said he'd want to be here if I get upduffed so he can look after me. I cried - super calm, like I said...

elle we're lucky that my grandparents are retired and love dogs but don't want one full time so if my OH is on a shift that clashes with my work pattern he goes to his grandma's house. Which is heaven for a dog as it overlooks a lovely river and forest area! Plus my granda gets easily bored retired a year ago at 69 years old so gives him something to do. There like best pals!

I feel it's been such a long time since we had anyone testing!

Nausea is setting in so had to skim past anything with the word 'cervix' in so apologies if I've missed anything but I just can't stomach it.

Thanks for your comments girls your definitely right DH just doesn't understand how small the fertile window is! We DTD tho so fx just in the TWW now

Good luck to everyone else in the TWW xx

sucha glad it's not just me, I think about it far too much! But I do feel a bit silly to be thinking that far ahead. I figure this whole ttc is prep for being a mum ie lack of control. Apparently with giving birth you have to let go of your ideas of your perfect birth cos you might not get it. I'm sure mothering in general is like that too. Ttc is certainly about not being in control from what I've experienced so far!

And yes you're right if course, cycle 3 is still early days. But it feels like a lifetime already to me. And it's easy to loose perspective ie when all your friends and relations seem to get preggers in the first month. Only person I know who took longer was my dsis, who took 6 months. Or else she's the only one who's been honest about it!

I would love a dog but DH isn't at all keen he does have a point that we are out too long, do you take dogs to work with you or do they stay at home?

We used to have a cat invader in our last house too-he used to come through an open window and come upstairs to the bedroom, or make himself comfy on the sofa. He always ran away if we went to stroke him though!

Banarma any takers...of the question not the blob.LOL!

Starky your OPKs look totally different to mine-both the ones I've done in the last 2 days have no visible line at all (cd 7 and 8). My peaks aren't quite as dark as yours either. Next month I will try to be organised and save a collection to share!

Ni I chuckled at you scooping your cervix dry! That's dedication! anyone else struggling to unclench?

Welcome Yvonne, that sounds frustrating . Hope you manage to dtd today

Starky and Co5mo-how do I learn to knit? I am desperate to give it a try!

Jem have you made DH watch the sperm race? Mine refused to look at the sperm people as he said it was silly but did listen to the sound and has finally twigged that timing is everything, yay! Whether that will make a difference in practice we shall see.

Hugs Evergreen and moggy, it is tiring. trying not to think about what if it doesn't happen. I am turning 35 this year which is the age that things start to get harder apparently trying to concentrate on getting as fit and healthy as possible and not letting my mind go there if you know what I mean?

Yes Jem, cycle 3 means you're on your 3rd month of trying.

mog I've thought about it from time to time. I think as a woman who wants kids it's going to cross your mind. I quite like the thought of being in a birthing pool, it looks quite zen on one born every minute.

Excuse my potential ignorance but does cycle three mean you've tried for three months? I could be wrong here but that doesn't sound like very long to me. I don't mean to disregard any feelings at all here. I'm under the impression it takes most couples more like 6 - 12 months?

lisa Max is enormous too! He likes to lie along DHs legs - he stretches from his ankles to his hips

That's so funny yours hop into the basket

*ginger, not finger.....

Ever that thought has crossed my mind before too (I'm cycle 3 too). Hopefully it won't get to that stage, but if it ever got to the point where I needed to have ivf, them I would probably give up, mostly because DH has a daughter already, it means I wouldn't be eligible for it on the nhs and there is no way we could afford to pay for it.
I'd consider adoption, but I think I could be happy without children, I'd just get more animals (because 2 dogs, a cat and 2 guinea pigs isn't enough already lol).
My feelings may change of course.

SuchaJem - Max is adorable! I also have a black cat and he's my little baby panther (though he's actually enormous and heavy - not fat, just very tall and long!)

My cats LOVE going into their baskets for the vet. As soon as the baskets go down they are straight in and like to sleep in there. They don't particularly like the vet so I think they're just not bright enough to have linked the two things together....

Jam - your bunny is lovely! Bilbo is so cute!

Ni - Phoebe is beautiful! And completely agree about the hairs - my finger cat moults on my ALL the time. You put on some clothes in the morning and realise he's got into the drawer and sat on them...

Lols at buttercream boobs!

I know this is a conception thread and its bit early to be talking about this but does anyone ever think about what kind of birth they'd like? For me a home birth with a pool and my momma and a doula would be right up my street, if everything was ok for a home birth. And if I could afford a doula, probably have to remorgage first, or dress the baby in bin liners for first year of its life.

Oh I forgot dh. He could be there too and be as much use as a chocolate teapot
Ha, not discrediting him, he has his uses like getting me upduffed although did he get that memo?! he's rather old fashioned, 30 going on 70, and i bet he would rather hide in the pub til it's all over!!

Gorgeous fur babies all. I really want a dog! Have been promised one once we get a house!

My DH is already gearing himself up for "intense shagging week" as he has started calling it! I think we are going to have to have an intense shagging 2 weeks tho as I'm still not sure when I ovulate

Sorry for my typos!

Completely with you ni and yvonne on getting principles of ttc across to DH. I'm 9dpo and determined to DTD every day this week. DH is less so. This lead to quite a crap argument last night :(

miley milo is very handsome. That really does look like jizz though!

Loving all the pet pics :) we are so varied with our babies bunnies and chickens.

starky here's hoping baby stark will be more coco than nacho

fxskip I've never heard of a Bombay before! Maybe he is a Bombay? He has got very luxurious fur.

Sorry you're feeling so crap ever perhaps after the bitch has gone and your hormones settle down you'll feel more positive. If you're still feeling old this perhaps you could take a break from it, or just take a more casual / relaxed approach for a few months.