Relaxed TTC Feb/March/April 2016

That's great Loki. Sounds like you've got the right mix of career and spending time with your dd there.
We all have to have some sort of ambition whether we have kids or not.
I don't know if I will go back full time eventually but we shall see. I know I do want to work though.

I do work full time but I'm a teacher and head of year and head of department. (hence the reason I didn't list 'wealthy' as well as career driven!) After the next baby I want to make the leap to assistant head. However, I have all of the school holidays to spend with my dd. I can be home for 4pm and do my pkanning when she goes to bed which is a real help. She is 4. I went back 4 days when she was 10 months and full time when she was 3.Its a juggling act but a rewarding one.

I've been really poorly this week and the thought of having a child has worried me a little as I've felt like I can't even look after myself! I've hardly managed to move out of bed (hence why I've suddenly taken to mumsnet)
It's a little daunting to think someone will be totally dependant on you and even when you're feeling poorly you got to keep going...

If you're career driven do you work full time? How old is your DD?
I have the ability to work my way up and I will be getting a promotion in February. I have no intention on going back full time though. I just wish the company would take me back part time but chances are very slim

I am a very career driven, quite successful, thoroughly modern woman, travelled the world and all that blah. However, I can say that the best thing about my life is having my dd. She has given my life meaning and value and I'm a better person because I've got her. As for labour - I bloody loved giving birth! Felt like superwoman! Ignore the negatively. There will always be tough times in everything you do, but overall, if you want kids, you will never regret having them.

thanks loki17
I have been discussing the responses with DP And we have had a really good chat about it all tonight. We have both agreed that we are a little silly waiting to be engaged. He said that it will definitely come and probably before having a baby in any case but there isn't really a reason to wait but he is happy to do what I want to do.
I do want a baby more than being married definitely. One person's preference in the order of doing things is not necessarily another persons.
I'm going to finish this pill packet and then take it from there. So exciting!

I agree with stumbly, it is really nice to hear such lovely words about it all. You do hear a lot about how difficult it all is which no doubt it is.
That's great you have booked the appointment and you got it earlier than on the NHS. I'm sure it'll be worth paying for.

What kind of exercise are people doing? I'm thinking I need to start something that will strengthen my core. I have done 30 minute shred before which I think I will do again as it really works on all the muscles.

I got married before having my dd for one reason. Looking back, it was daft and totally selfish, but, at the time, I wanted a honeymoon not a family holiday. Getting married was lovely, but less of a commitment than a mortgage together and way less than having a child together! Having my dd was life changing in the best possible way. so much better than a wedding or honeymoon. Waiting until after i got married now seems daft to me.Those of you who are not married - do not even question it. Having a baby is ten bazillion times better. Children enrich and enhance your lives in every way. My SIL had DN first and got married second, her dd was her bridesmaid and it was brilliant.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Been eating pretty well, but did have wine last night as FIL was over so it would have been rude not to

Sticking to my one coffee per day, its not as difficult to do as before, luckily the free coffee at work is crap.

Been googling how to increase fertility and it seems the main way are good diet, no alcohol, little caffeine, healthy weight and exercise.

Does anyone have any other pointers, though? I know you are supposed to avoid soy and Vitamin A.

I'm really trying to prime my body for conception, cut out the processed rubbish.

Made beef stock last night so will make a huge pot of lentil soup with that tonight.

Isthatpoisontoo, I definitely see where you're coming from on that. I guess it's a sign of more commitment but just because you have a ring on your finger doesn't mean the commitment is any more or less. I don't know what it is really... You have definitely got me questioning it!

I don't know if it's partly thinking he's asking me to marry him because he wants to rather than because he feels he has to as we have a child together... Although saying that out loud that's bizarre too. And a child is more commitment than a marriage as its for life.

I have a friend who is engaged, when finding out she is pregnant booked the wedding for one year after the due date.
I have another friend who wants to be married before getting pregnant and that's that. She's not engaged yet.
And another who doesn't really want to get married.
So all very different!
Thanks for all your opinions etc X

I'm married and we've been together for 9 years this year. We have been putting children off for a while but now we've both been in our jobs for quite a while and have a nice home (plus we're 30 now) so decided to TTC.

I know plenty of people who aren't married and have children. It really makes no difference.

Hi everyone, hope you're all well. I've done a full week after today of my healthy eating and I'm feeling pretty good. Weigh day isn't until Wednesday but I'm feeling confident I'll lose as long as I stick at it x

Radders I'm engaged but it isn't important. For me, some kind of commitment was needed before TTC, although that didn't have to be marriage. I just want to know I won't be doing this on my own! We thought about waiting a year or two to save for a wedding, then just decided to have the wedding we could afford ASAP. I realised I wanted to start a family more than I wanted caterers and a silk dress.

I don't get this waiting around for someone to propose thing, though. I mean, it's a question that both of you already know the answer to, right? If both of you know that you intend on marrying each other, why do you need to wait for him to voice it?

Stumblymonkey, I'm in similar position. I have only been with DP for 13 months. Been living together for about 9/10 months as we both owned our own house so he moved in with me and we rent his out.
I came out of a 5 year relationship and met DP in less than a month. I know he is the one for me.

I think people expect me to want to be married first but for reasons you said also I'm just not fussed. Having a baby and having our parents around to see their grandchild grow up is far more important to me at the moment.

Make sure you pop in on your support group each day stumbly, I'm sure it will be a great support. X

Hopefully the acne won't happen again radders.

I don't mind quitting the booze or caffeine but there's quite a few foods I miss when pregnant. I am gonna make the most of not ttc yet when I go to a party at the end of this month. The rum will be flowing haha X

I have been very lucky, fell pregnant 1st cycle with both my children, quite a surprise both times lol. This is the reason I'm really wanting to lose my weight before coming off the pill. I'm aware it could take quite a bit longer this time around but after being caught first time twice I have to plan around it happening again x

I'm married, but I do know a lot more parents who are not married than are....bad English.

stumbly I'm also coming off the psych meds, not for bipolar though. Clonazepam, for anxiety, the Internet appears to have mixed opinions on whether it is OK or not so I need to read the leaflet and see my gp, but I'm expecting it to be a no. Argh. I'd rather give up caffiene, booze and nice food anyday, but we all have our own crosses to bear.

Wow that's amazing that you got pregnant first cycle! Bet it was a shock for you. They do say sometimes it happens that way because of a surge in hormone.

I can't wait to finish this months pill and then stop to see how my cycles go. I'm a little nervous they will take a while. I came off the pill a couple of years ago and I seem to remember them going back to normal straight away but because I wasn't tracking it I can't really remember. I suffered from really bad acne though after coming off the pill. My back is scarred from it. So I'm not looking forward to that again.

I'm married but don't think it makes a difference. I was pregnant on our wedding, didn't plan it that way lol. Had the wedding planned for April, decided on the new year before to come off the pill thinking it would take a while to fall pregnant and we wanted to start trying after the wedding. Well, I was about three months gone because we got pregnant 1st cycle lol.

I have more friends with children who aren't married than who are though x

I'm married but I don't think it matters, I know lots of non-married couples with kids.
Checking in has reminded me to take my folic acid!

Is everybody else married or engaged? Is there anyone who is neither?
I'm not too fussed about being married first as I'm nearly 30 so feel like conceiving is my priority but I do want to be engaged really. Me and DP have discussed this and are in agreement but it's so difficult not knowing when it's going to happen! I'm becoming one of those annoying girlfriends who keep talking about it and don't want to pressure

Poison, I went about 7 years without seeing the dentist at one point 😳 thankfully I only needed one filling. Now I go every six months though. I do think it's easier to lose when not on the pill but I want to at the very least get under 12 stone before ttc . I am sensitive to a lot of synthetics and allergic to latex so although there are a few condoms we can use it's not a case of just popping to the shops for them. Also I find them a complete mood killer lol. I'm sticking with my diet plan so confident that by the end of March I'll be stopping the pill x