Relaxed TTC Feb/March/April 2016

Hello,

Please can I join?
I have a two year old DD and k think we are almost ready to start trying for number 2, it's a financial thing for us, but the spreadsheet is looking good for a March onwards conception!
Diet has started in earnest!

Welcome newbies

Alice I couldn't help but laugh at that 😂 . One flaw in your plan though, saliva kills sperm! X

My DH and I were talking today about having sex more and I came up with a disgusting but genius idea, I'll give him a BJ, spit into a cup and Turkey baste it where it needs to go! Gross, but you can't argue it won't get the desired outcome

I came off the pill at the end of August and we aren't using any contraception so technically we are TTC already, but not having much luck (in actually having sex and subsequently falling pregnant).

Hi guidinglight welcome to the thread. Sorry to hear you are having difficulties, when are you supposed to be starting Ttc?

Don't worry about the wine, it sounds like you are very healthy overall and one bottle over 3 nights is definitely moderate!!

Not meaning that last bit to be doom and gloom by the way! It's obviously great to be organised and know what the plan is, but I'm just going to take a more laid back approach this time .

Hi everyone

Well my healthy lifestyle is going okay I guess! I eat a varied vegetarian diet anyway with lots of fruit and vegetables, have been trying to eat the minimum amount of sugar (with a few afternoon tea break slip ups!). Caffeine reduction is going ok although I am still having around 2-3 cups a day, and I didn't have any alcohol this week or weekend, hoping to continue that over January although I do have a dinner to go to next weekend so will have one or two. Everything in moderation. Haven't started the prenatal vitamins yet as we aren't Ttc until early March and those things are expensive!

I do feel pretty good with the healthy eating and am sleeping well too. Have been doing a bit of exercise but could definitely do more. Need to build up energy lol

As for maternity pay, I only get stat pay which is rubbish but will start saving as much as possible in advance! Not sure how long I will take off yet, almost too scared to start planning as I had it all planned out before my last mc and it didn't work out.

Hi all can I join? I'm 32 and DP and I are trying for our first. I think I'll be in for a long, bumpy road due to an irregular cycle. My DP works shifts which isn't ideal as we often don't see each other for days on end and he has erectile dysfunction which also doesn't help.

I'm finding it stressful as the anxiety to 'perform' doesn't help DP's issue and I think he often puts off having sex because that's better than trying and failing. I then end up feeling massively rejected (it was him that mentioned TTC in the first place) as I feel like even though he wants a baby, he can't bring himself to try. I don't know how to discuss this with him. I came off the pill in August but we've only managed to successfully have sex once since then.

I made the mistake of telling my two best friends we are TTCing but they don't know about our issues as I don't want to break his confidentiality. I told them because we were organising something that potentially I would have to drop out of. One keeps asking me how it is going (she's just being nice) and I find that hard, but I'm hoping that as time goes on she'll realise we're having difficulties and stop asking.

I'm taking pre-conception vitamins, and just tracking my cycle on an app on my phone. I realise that my post doesn't exactly fit into the 'relaxed' part of the thread as I'm anything but relaxed but I don't want to get into temping or anything like that as it will just increase the pressure. I don't smoke or eat any of the foods you're not meant to eat during pregnancy anyway so haven't had to change any of that. I exercise 5 times a week, but nothing too strenuous. I've cut down my caffeine to just a couple of drinks a day and have a bottle of wine over 3 nights at the weekend. I keep thinking I should cut the wine out too but I really enjoy a glass of wine with dinner at the weekend - I would stop as soon as I found out which would probably only be a couple of weeks as I do keep track of when we try and periods.

Sorry for going on so much, got nowhere I can turn in real life.

Hi all, can I jump in here?! I'm 27 and my husband and I just ditched the condoms. We have a lovely son (who is 3 in a couple of weeks!) I'm a super healthy eater and I'm vegan (non-preachy judgy though ;) so I've got a pretty good handle of my vitamins etc and won't be taking any others, although I'm going to take the vit B/folic acid complex twice a day now, as they're water soluble I might need a top up later in the day!

When we had our son, it was a total shock. I was on the pill, smoking, drinking, working too much.... so the ttc thing is very new to me, and a quick Google looks like it's a minefield!

My pregnancy was horrific, I almost ended up in a wheelchair because of SPD (probably because I was in bad shape when I fell pregnant) which didn't go after baby was born, until I started exercising a lot and lost a lot of weight. I start feeling the weight in my joints if I only out on a few pounds so if I'm going to carry another baby I really need to start looking after myself properly!

I broke a rib in the summer though (I pole dance for fitness!)and I haven't got back into it, not regularly at all- Although, I've lost 2.5stone by eating well so my bmi is at 20. I'm feeling good to go!

Are your partners doing anything to prepare? My husband eats terribly! He isn't vegan like me and eats a lot of convenience foods! I might start sneaking vitamins into his dinner because I know he won't take them, haha!

stumbly I'm the opposite, doing well but have had quite a beery weekend! I'm eating lots of veg though.

Hi everyone, so exciting that people could possibly conceive this month! I've had a big sort out today, got rid of a load of stuff that was just stored away taking up room. We are getting some new shelves and storage boxes next month to tidy the girls room up a little. Want all this kind of stuff done before I'm pregnant so I can relax x

I Best Buy some vitamin b6 then. I think I will take that and folic acid.

I don't do any exercise as in put time aside to do any at the moment. I work in an office but I am up and about all the time there, not stationary all day. I need to do some exercise to work on the core though as I have no tummy muscles whatsoever and need to improve it for my back. I think my back is going to suffer carrying a baby as I have suffered with it since I was 12. I also don't want to find it difficult getting back into shape after pregnancy so need to start getting in shape now to help afterwards!

Radders I do look skinny, but I eat really well (paleo without the red meat), don't smoke or drink alcohol or coffee. If I was exercising more and was off my psych med, I'd be fine. Seems like such a tall order tho, to do all these things. Psych med I don't take often and would stop as soon as I was pregnant, its the exercise. But then I walk quite a bit, take 8 flights of stairs at work, do an hour of cardio a week....how much do you aim for? Ugh.

Something else jumped out at me reading back, how people focus on the negative aspects of childbirth etc. I think you always hear the worst stories, but so many women do it everyday and it just becomes part of your experience.

Radders, I am married but it was just a natural step for us as we had been together since we were teenagers and wanted to wait until we were late 20s before having children, getting married for us in our mid 20s was just what we wanted but I don't think it makes a difference with regard to having children. If you have a strong relationship and can work together in raising children, it makes it a lot easier, I think your marital status is irrelevant in that.

Re. Maternity leave, I expected to be back at work this month after having DD (13 months) but for a number of family reasons, I haven't gone back and will be staying at home for a bit longer with her. If I am not pregnant by Sept, I will go back part time but if I am, I am just planning to stay off until the next one is 12-18 months. DH is in the military and spends a lot of time away so me staying at home at the moment just makes it easier on us as a family. I am running a business from home 2 afternoons a week when DD is in nursery, and I tutor privately one evening a week (primary teacher) which is enough to give me a bit of variety.

Alicescarlett - how exciting!
I don't mean this in in disrespectful way but are you quite thin or would you say healthy weight?
Reason I am asking is because my BMI is in the healthy range at 22 but I do feel like I'm not healthy, could lose some weight and need to exercise more. So although it says that about BMI I do think it is down to the individual and lifestyle too.

I can't quite remember mine either, I did read the handbook but can't remember now but I know they don't give us any perks.

Maternity leave is tricky, I work for the NHS, so I know its not too bad, but its not made clear what it actually is on my contract so I need to ask HR.

I've exercised twice this week...not very good. My BMI is now 17.8...which puts me off exercising because I know a low BMI isn't good for conception.

Just bought 120 folic acid in the Holland and Barrett penny sale, bargin. Got my preseed through off ebay today and Ovia is telling me my CM means I'm coming up to my fertile window, eeek. I'm not going to tell DH to hopefully reduce his performance anxiety.

Stumblymonkey sorry if you are repeating yourself but what vits are you taking?
I have folic acid which I've started. Not sure if should take anything else?

Hopefully it will kick off for your DP soon... It takes time doesn't it.

My maternity package is the minimum required so that's a bit pants. I haven't decided how much time I will have off. If my company offer me part time to go back earlier then I may consider it. Will have to see nearer the time.

I'm not going to be able to afford 12 months this time either. I am lucky that I work in the public sector so get 6 months off on full pay. We can probably just about manage 3 months on stat pay after that but the 3 months on nothing was a killer and took all our savings last time so the plan is for 9 months. I work 3 days a week since ds and will carry on with that, fortunately ds qualifies for his free hours in a year so we won't have full costs of two at nursery.

Raddersmrs: I shoot weddings and about 50 per cent of them involve the couple's various kiddos, and it's always really lovely. It's a really exciting thing for little kids to see their mother all dressed up!

I think some people get some kind of thrill from telling others the horror stories of child birth. Yes, son women have a really bad time of it but some women also have fantastic Labour and birth. I've had one ok birth and one really positive birth. Am not gonna lie it hurts but it's also a very rewarding moment in your life. I would recommend water birth, had it with my second and found it really good.

I worked as a chef before having my children. As much as I loved my job and enjoy cooking I don't think going back to chef work would work with young children, the hours are crazy and its often late finishes. Tbh a job in a school kitchen would probably work best for me when the children are older. I'm planning to go to work part time but not until the children are all over 3/4. My husband works hard to support us and gets a good wage but we have to budget, I don't mind though. We don't go without and have a happy home x