Christmas is here but it's not the turkey that's getting basted... with symptoms to spot and festive cheer, Prty and the gang are getting BFPS this year!!

I have nothing still Neetie! Just milky white cm! Spotting always starts off light for me and then turns into AF but all I had was pinkish spotting on/off for a day and a bit... Now nothing and no symptoms either! It's day CD36!!! WTF?! Scared something is wrong. Actually just want AF to hurry up!!

Feeling for you flowers day 29 still no af still getting BfN and still same colour when swabbing. Only difference is brownish creamish almost gloopy substance when wiping......

Also blood test results weren't back when I called earlier

Hi all. Another crap day here. Spotting stopped last night. CM very light but white/clear. Stupidly just did one of the FRERs I got. BFN. Now worried something is wrong as no sign of AF and no symptoms of either

Well I am well confused here, still getting brownish/creamyish on swabbing but no af ...not a thing and now day 28.
Have decided that if nothing by sat (day 30) will test again.

Flowers your making me tear up here

Exactly Prty, rationally I know that's exactly how he would be, unfortunately the rational mind seems to go on holiday when TTC

I just put time constraints on myself because I feel like I am behind all my friends... I am not, I have childless friends and single friends, but the ones who do have kids are mostly on to #2. I also worry about my parents too but for different reasons... When I thought maybe I could be PG yesterday morning all I could think was how happy my mum would be. She is about to have six months of chemo, post op for bowel Cancer. It has been the biggest scare of my life, I am so close to my parents (esp my mum) and the realisation that they won't be around forever really hit me. I get scared that I will be too late to give them a grandchild and that though breaks my heart.

And the worst of it is the constraints are really all in my head. My BF knows I am TTC and has reassured me a few times to not let her wedding put added pressure on me, that whatever happens we will work around it and it really doesn't matter if i am pregnant or not at her or my brothers wedding, its all just me trying to perfectly plan things (yea, goes that always works lol).

Realistically I know, the only one that is really important is the work/dad one, but even at that I know if I told my dad what was bothering me he would say for me to worry about myself and to leave his plans to him.

One of my big problems is I put so much pressure on myself time wise (don't we all).

1. Time constraint #1 - I am maid of honour for my BF in October next year so ideally I want to have had baby #1 before that.
2. Time constraint #2 - Mt brother is getting married in May next year so ideally I want to have had baby before that.
3. Time constraint #3 (to me this is the biggy) - I work for my dad and one day (in the not so distant future) I will be taking over his company. Once self employed ML and all that will not be just as simple so ideally I would like to have a baby before then. But more importantly, I know my dad and he won't retire if he thinks I need him to stay around and if I have a baby he would see that as me needing him to stay at work to help me out. He ideally wanted to retire at 65 (18 months away) and I don't want him to have to change his plans for me as he has already done that so many times before.

So I have put myself under all the usual broodiness induced pressures and then added to that the timetables involving other peoples life's and the result is the ticking time bomb that is me in the TWW!!

..... it feels good to let all that out once in a while.

They told me not to call for results, they were automatically referring me to a clinic so apparently I get results when I get the appointment, god knows how long that will be especially since it seems we have to wait for DH to get his sample done as well. Had day 3 on 29/12 so its feeling like a very long wait. Nurse did tell me if I am getting impatient to ring and they would try and hurry the appointment along for me, so maybe when AF comes next week (FX she doesn't) I'll give them a call

Moooorning!

I agree with you guys. I had my 21 day bloods done last week and will be going for the next lot when AF kicks in properly tomorrow (still spotting). I dread getting the results (I've actually got to call for the 21 day ones today!) but it can only help move us forwards.

I also dread OH going for his SA - I do not think he will handle it as well as me and considering how crazy I have been over TTC and my massive monthly wobbles, THAT is saying something!

Exactly Prty that's the best way to look at, even if it turns out to not be the news I want, at least its a step further on the baby track. DH has appointment next week to organise his SA, don't think he sees it the same way I do, male pride and all that malarky

Thanks Prty

On the worrying that something is wrong front, I my day 2/3 and day 21 bloods done this month, so while I'm glad I might finally get some answers am also panicking that I'm not going to get the answers I want. It's a bit of a catch 22, I want them to come back all clear, but if they don't at least I will know and can move on to the next stage

Pah!!! That's the worst thing, I actually felt quite relaxed about it this month! I wasn't pissed when OH was tired during FW and I was even feeling positive about blood tests. I didn't log when we DTD or chart any symptoms. It was only when I realised things weren't happening as usual that I began to wonder...

Hippy I actually meditate everyday and am a massive believer in visualisation, positivity, mindfulness etc. It is so hard when TTC because, as Kitten says, there is no rhyme or reason to it!

I feel damned if I do and damned if I dont! Plus there is alway the worry that...Something Is Wrong

Ha ha mrs - I wasn't offended - it's true - it is tragic!! I've devoted so much time and research to it and it's made not a scrap of difference - I've tried vitamins, different positions, everything. I honestly have run out of ideas! I've become resentful of everyone who gets pregnant and doesn't even need to try. There are babies being born to women who started ttc after me and we're still at it! They'll be having their next ones soon at this rate.
I was having a rant to a friend the other day, first time I've mentioned ttc to anyone other than dh in months and months (everyone thinks we've given up!) and she said I just need to relax!!! Really???!!

Hi all! What a shitty day we're all having! So sorry about all the blumming AF arrivals. It's so funny It's so NOT funny, when you get your period after a BFN, or buying a test. It's almost like a release of tension. If only it wasn't so hard not to get worked up by it all. I am feeling the same as all of you, that all this monitoring, analysing, etc, just adds to the tension, and who knows, messes with our cycles...? On a similar note, I was going to say to Flowers it's so easy to get superstitious about TTC, and our thoughts etc... But I think we should let our thoughts happen. It's only natural we get excited at the thought. In The Baby Making Bible, she says that she really believes in the power of visualisation, and that visualising can help you ovulate, create healthy lining etc... So why not think positive thoughts! I suppose it is the disappointment when AF comes. But what I'm saying is don't beat yourself up for getting your hopes up. It's so natural!
neetie so sorry about your sister!
snowy - Welcome!

Thanks kitten

I meant that I am the same and nothing has made any difference - just the situation - not that you are in anyway tragic!

Ha ha! I shouldn't laugh Kitten but wow when you put it like that! It's tragic really