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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

OP posts:
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Russkispy · 11/06/2016 11:13

Morning ladies,
A little update from. Went to my acupuncturist and I believe she sorted out my OV day as it was back on CD14. And consequently my cycle this time is 27 days which is my regular ones. Suffice to say AF arrived today after 2 days of brown spotting (my indicator of imminent AF). So I'm out this month. Disappointed but holding my head high. This battle is not over! It only started 😉

Sorry to hear about others' AF and good luck with the ones are still hanging in there!

See you all next month.

RS x

PS acupuncturist was very happy with my pulse and progress I've shown so far (eating her suggested foods etc) and she reckons I have chances to be pregnant within 3 months. Time will tell....

PowPowPow · 09/06/2016 12:27

Congrats guys! All wonderful news!! Smile

Loueeza · 08/06/2016 18:05

Hi Daisy! Wow, that's amazing news!! Twins!! What a dream!

Talking of dreams, I'm dreaming of getting to 20 weeks too - at 6 weeks and a bit at the moment and all seems good so far with plenty of symptoms. Started to feel a bit queasy today, which I can't help feeling pleased about...

I know that everyone goes through the nerves at this stage. Just got to sit tight and keep everything crossed! :-)

AnnieHoo · 08/06/2016 15:43

daisy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just nearly fell off my seat!!!! SmileBlushFlowersFlowers perfect news!!!!!!!!! Wow it's all so worth the wait!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Daisyboo1203 · 08/06/2016 00:37

Congrats loueeza! Hope you are doing well!

I had my 20 week scan last week. All doing well, healthy and happy. And...a boy!! And a girl!!!Grin

Rememberallball · 01/06/2016 18:31

AF put in her monotonously regular appearance this weekend just gone. Onwards and upwards and try yet again starting later this week!!

Loueeza · 31/05/2016 17:11

Thank you so much, Jessie and Annie! I'm thrilled to have got this far, whatever happens in the long run.

It definitely is nail-biting, but I guess there's no escaping that - just got to go through it like everyone else. I'm trying a new 'trick' of turning all the statistics on their head and looking at them in terms of chances of success. If you do that, things don't look so precarious!

Jessie, I'm dreaming of sitting with a sea view at 24 weeks, but for now will just take each day as it comes.

Congratulations again by the way... I'm so thrilled for you and can't wait for your birth announcement. You must be so excited now!

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 28/05/2016 18:03

LOUEEZA!!! hooray hooray!

You managed to keep your nerve till 17 dpo as well- what a trouper you are! That is an excellent line Grin.

You're in for a nail biting 6 weeks or so now I'm afraid. You might want to think about booking a private scan at 8 weeks - I got one as part of my IVF and it really helped put my mind at rest. I am SO happy for you, and very much hope that you find yourself exactly where I am in 24 weeks' time, marvelling at the wriggling creature headbutting your bladder. (And also possibly in Sorrento enjoying the view).

Congrats again. And double points for a natural BFP too Smile.

Hi to everyone else as well. Enjoy your hols Annie.

OP posts:
AnnieHoo · 28/05/2016 11:02

Waaaa!!!! Just popped on after not lurking for ages CONGRATULATIONS loueeza !!!! Grin exactly the same thing happened to a good friend of mine PG a few weeks after dye test. I don't think it's a coincidence xxxxxx

Sorry haven't read other posts I'm at airport off on hols down to sunny south coast of Englandshire!! Xxx

Rememberallball · 27/05/2016 17:41

Thanks Loueeza,

Still nothing this end. I did a Clearblue Plus test this am and bfn Sad think I'm cd29 today; 15 days post discharge so thinking I should have shown as bfp by now. I reckon af should be here any time now but don't feel as if she's on the horizon either!!

Loueeza · 26/05/2016 22:02

Thank you, Remember and Joey! I know I always felt the most encouraged when I read stories about ladies who'd got a BFP after a looong while trying, and now I hope I can encourage others too with my story.

The discharge could have meant something, Remember. I got that a bit about two weeks ago.

Rememberallball · 26/05/2016 20:05

Congratulations Loueeza!! Flowers Cake

I'm now somewhere around cd 29/30 (gave up making a note of af start date this cycle!!) and had 18-24 hours of brownish/pinkish discharge 14 days ago, which may or may not be anything!! I've poas every day for the last 9-10 days and all have been bfn. I'm not giving up yet though!! Have now got the lurgy so am staying home (on DH instructions) but am desperate for an frer or a Superdrug early response test to use. I might just have to force myself out tomorrow as, at the moment, my only options are Internet cheapies or Clearblue non digital tests!!

Joeypotter1 · 26/05/2016 19:22

Congratulations Loueeza. I hope all goes well. It's lovely to hear this type of news as it gives the rest of us hope that we might get a bfp too.

Loueeza · 26/05/2016 18:10

Thank you Totalnamechanger! I totally understand the feelings of apathy. You get to the point where you never really read into anything anymore. I had got my hopes up so so so many times, but always to be disappointed.

Rooting for you too, though! If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone, believe me!!! :-)

totalnamechanger · 25/05/2016 22:51

Loueeza - what an amazingly strong line!! This is stronger than my special 16 dpo one was three and a half years ago Wink I've also been rooting for you- was on other 40 thread but fallen off it (not through pregnancy but apathy) Always got my fingers crossed for the ttc #1ers and think the women on this thread are particularly brilliant Grin

Wishing you all the best

Loueeza · 25/05/2016 21:35

Thanks so much for the congrats, everyone.

It still feels quite surreal, like it isn't really happening to me. I do actually feel pregnant though. I feel like I've spent the last two days in the loo, and I've got strange shooting pains in my boobs.

Apart from the strange feelings and twinges, though, I'm feeling pretty good. Nervous still, but relaxing about the fact that there's nothing I can do to affect the outcome of this. :-)

PowPowPow · 25/05/2016 21:22

Thanks Russkispy I'm (semi)forcing Selenium and Zinc on DP every morning so good to know I'm on the right track. Grin

Cityzen74 · 25/05/2016 08:18

Congratulations Loueeza! Flowers Very exciting!

Russkispy · 24/05/2016 22:18

Of course PowPow. Google for Kent acupuncture health and look up for Michelle Mulliss. She's got a clinic in Faversham and Harley street.

It was actually 2 hours with her.! Sorry, lost track of time! We talked a lot about fertility etc, she was so good and helpful! I could talk and discuss things with her for hours! Acupuncture/needles were not painful at all! It was a few needles on my back, one into my head and forehead and a few into my feet. And the minute she did it my tummy rambled so loud! And a lot! She said it was a good sign, as everything is working! I'm waiting for her email with a list of foods. Also asked her about supplements I take and she said Selenium with zinc is more important for men than women! Maca root and spirulina are very important! Will keep you posted on the rest

PowPowPow · 24/05/2016 20:37

Wowzers! Massive congratulations also Loueeza. So chuffed for you. That is a really strong line. Yay! Grin

Ruskispy are you able to share where you go for acupuncture? I'm very interested in trying it myself.

crispiecrunchie · 24/05/2016 18:41

Wow Lou congratulations!! I always check back to this thread to see how you are all doing and cheer for everyone from the sidelines! Thrilled! Xxxx

SparrowSG · 24/05/2016 18:38

Massive congratulations to you Loueeza, that is a really strong line you have there. Will be thinking positive thoughts for you that all continues swimmingly Smile

Loueeza · 24/05/2016 18:05

Oh, and I have finally been able to answer my own question about whether you still get cramps etc. on a BFP month - YES, YOU CAN!

I had the same cramps and horrible feelings as I always do. Only thing that was different was that the cramps started REALLY early, and I had worse than normal period pains at the weekend - when I should have got af.

Still got mild cramps, but they're lessening. Generally just feeling 'periody', really. :-)

Feel like I'm never going to be able to sleep again - this is SO nerve-racking!

Loueeza · 24/05/2016 17:53

I've heard good things about acupuncture, Ruskispy! Can't hurt to try all these things - for me, doing 'something' has always made me feel better.

Now... I can't quite believe I'm getting my turn to do this, BUT - after my nondescript 'bumping' post yesterday, look what happened to me this morning. After 21 months and not a shadow of a BFP ever before, I can finally post my own real life encouraging story. Proof that it's absolutely worth carrying on hoping when it starts feeling like it's never going to happen.

I was shaking so much this morning when I did my test but the line came up almost immediately - and for now it's certainly not a squinter.

It's VERY early days of course (17dpo - I wasn't even getting my hopes up yesterday as I'd been there so many times before...) but whatever happens in the next few weeks/months, I'm just over the moon that we've been able to get this far.

Interestingly, I just had an HSG dye test last month, which showed everything normal, but does seem like a huge coincidence. Maybe it's worth a try if you haven't done that yet, girls? :-)

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
Russkispy · 24/05/2016 15:31

Just had my first fertility acupuncture, £85 and 3 hours later and lighter I've finally emerged, smelling of roses 😉 This price includes a consultation and first treatment. We talked a lot about fertility, ovulation, fertility window, foods, body chemicals, pregnancy etc really enjoyed the chat! She'll send me a list of food to incorporate into my diet. Will let you know. My 2nd appointment is in 2 weeks.
I'm currently on CD10, DTD on CD5, 7 and 9. She advised to DTD every other day from end of your period all the way through to CD21. Providing I'm usually 28-29 CDs. Which I am. Already changes in CM. "Science" continues till CD21 😉