Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

Hi Apple, we've only been ttc again for a month and I'm finding that stressful enough. I hope it all works out for you.
I'm still having bereavement support after my mmc and have been told to try to pretend that we're not ttc, to take pressure of ourselves. It's so difficult though.

Can I join? Looking for ttc friends! My story very similar to lots of other posters. Married last year at ripe old age of 39. Started ttc in Sept, pregnant by Nov. Couldn't believe our luck but sadly mmc and erpc in Feb at 12 weeks. Now on month 5 ttc again. Very stressed and anxious..... Had amh etc tested last year, low (7.7) but normal for age, probably much lower now though. Decided to head for ivf in autumn if not pregnant again by then. At the quoted success rates of 5% per month trying naturally I am not feeling too optimistic but throwing everything at it!

Thanks so much Loueesa. Your story is a real inspiration and does help to keep me going. Feeling a bit more up and looking ahead to next cycle. Glad to hear things good for you. Are you past the dreaded 12 weeks. The wait must be horrendous. Flowers to everyone and welcome helbelle.

New here - hello everyone!
I'm 41 next week, met my DH at 38, married last October We started TTC in January and we're pregnant by March. First pregnancy for both of us. Unfortunately, had a mmc at 11 weeks. Devastated beyond devastated, but dh is very optimistic about future pregnancies. Me, not so much.
Periods returned regular and normal, so we're trying again.

wotsits! So lovely to hear from you here, although I'm so sorry you're feeling really down right now.

I know that nothing I can say will necessarily make you feel much better (I remember all too well those days of eyes welling up with tears on my way home from work). BUT, I hope that it might help just a TAD to keep my story in your mind. It actually took us OVER 18 months if you include our messing around with the one cycle of IVF we did, and, uncannily, we also couldn't dtd the month I did the HSG, which I remember also finding very frustrating.

The HSG did in fact seem to be the magic bullet for us the next month though (unless it was just coincidence, which it could have been). I also had a raging UTI that month, wasn't feeling well at all, and dtd was the last thing I felt like doing - but that was the magic month.

Another thing I'd say is that when you're able to look objectively at others' situations, you do have a lot more hope for others than you do for yourself, and I definitely think you still have a chance. It's a small chance each month, but all those chances add up to a decent chance overall.

Just for fun, I asked the midwives last week if they got many women in their 40s, and they said LOADS.... the oldest natural they'd had was 48! They'd even had a few in their early 50s with donor eggs through IVF. And that's just some random NHS somewhere in the UK.

Oh, Wotsits, I know all too well how painful this all is, but if you possibly can keep on in there. Keep trying for a while longer, do lots of things you enjoy, try to stay positive and healthy, and let's keep our fingers crossed.

Please keep us updated!!! Crossing EVERYTHING for you too! xxxx

P.S. I can't remember what you said about this, but I was taking COq10 supplement for quite a few months - don't know if that helped with egg quality too? Was also taking DHEA for a while, but stopped after about 6 months as I wasn't sure about taking it long-term...

Not posted on here for a long while as needed a break. Been lurking though and willing everyone to get there and enjoyed hearing of successes - especially Loueeza who has similar story to me - i.e. trying for months with nothing and finally getting there. Hope you're ding well Looueza. I still hope for me but am at all time low. August sees me heading towards 44 and after 1 1/2 years of trying feel I should face reality. Had an HSG on Friday and was holding out for trying this cycle and partner came down with a back injury so combination of that and the pain killers has stopped any dtd - have never felt so dark about it all. My great grand mother was 48 when she had her first so you just never know but office for national statistics has only 700 births to women aged 44 . Sorry to be negative just have to get tonight's gloom out somewhere.

Hi Russkipsy, I talked again about IVF abroad but I think it will be a last resort for us at the moment. He still thinks it's better to try in this country first.

Anyway, I went to see the doctor at my local IVF clinic today. She said although it was a low amh result, it was a normal result for a 40 year old. However, it will mean that IVF is my only option and I'll be given a higher dose of medication as well. The first cycle will be with my eggs (15% chance of success) and if that doesn't work then the next time it will be with donor eggs which I'm fine about. We'll probably start treatment in September so in the meantime we'll keep on trying and use the SMEP plan you suggested.

Hope all is okay with you and thanks for the chart you posted.

Not sure if you've seen this chart before but thought I'd share it...

I agree, abroad will be. I have cheaper. I've had all my test and DH's test in Riga, Latvia, at the IVF Riga clinic. I grew up in Riga (born in Russia) and the staff was so caring and helpful and the IVF Doctor is the best! We Frozen DH's sperm in March, for our plan B. And that would be an IUI. I'm in 8dpo right now and can't tell whether there's a possibility of being pregnant this cycle. It's a week befor AF and I think there's a slight tenderness in my boobs. People on this site say, don't trust the boobs(haha) but mine never really let me down when it came to AF. Hmmmm will let you know how I'm getting on.
Joey, hopefully your partner can see that overseas treatment is much cheaper than UK. Everything is cheaper outside of the U.K., I believe

I think cyprus works out cheaper, and then you can have extras than may increase your chances.
Nearly 24 weeks pregnant with twins thanks to Team Miracle, Cyprus! Eek! Scary and exciting!!!

Jessie, how are you doing??

Hi Russkipsy, my partner is happy to have children and is only slightly older than me at 41. He already has 2 boys of his own and is a very hands on dad. It's more to do with the cost that puts him off. I mentioned that we could go to Greece or Cyprus as it has good results and can work out cheaper but he wants to stick with clinics in the UK because he thinks that they will be cheaper.

Glad you had a nice sunny holiday and hopefully the SMEP worked for you. I'm taking the tablets to get my period back and then I can hopefully start the SMEP plan too. I've got my meeting with the IVF doctor on the 11th when we find out what she can do to help us.

doesn't your partner want kids? is he older or younger? I hope he's on board with you for having a little one.
I'm in 6dpo and nothing significant or anything to report, for that matter.
We just got back from hot summer break and hopefully, fresh air and sea water did us good and we're successful this cycle! And hope the SMEP plan worked too!
Back to the acupuncturist on the 12th. Kind of missed my treatments.

Thanks Russkipsy. Once my period comes back (there's a possibility that my body went into shock with taking the higher dose of clomid) then I'll give the plan a go.
I went to the Bourne Hall Clinic in Colchester, which is about a 10 minute walk from my house, and they have clinics all over East Anglia. I spoke to the nurse which was mainly gathering information and I'm seeing the doctor in mid July to talk about what treatment they would suggest for me. I left £200 lighter but feeling positive that they will hopefully be able to help. I've heard lots of positive things about Cyprus and Greece but it's convincing my partner is the tricky bit. I hope all is going well with you and the smep plan.

Are you in London? Is your clinic a good one? I know there's a very good IVF clinic in Greece, with the highest success rate.
I've attached the SMEP plan for the ones over 35.
Hope it goes well tomorrow.

Hi Russkispy, I'll have a look in Holland and Barrett the next time I'm in town for the tea. I'm 40 so I'd be looking at the slight adjustment when it comes to the SPEM plan.
I called my local IVF clinic and I'm going to see the nurse tomorrow and then have a follow up appointment with the doctor to talk about my options in July. I wouldn't rule out abroad but might as well find out what they think my chances are.

Joey, buying artichoke tea in Holland&Barrett.
The SPEM plan is basically to start DTD from CD8 every other day till OV day, then 3 days in a row, skip one night and do the last DTD.
That's a formula in their book for the ladies before the age of 35.
And there's a slight adjustment for the ladies after 35 (applicable to me).
Not sure your age, Joey.
Would you consider IVF abroad or in the UK?

Well still no AF but my consultant has given me some tablets to kick start it, if it doesn't come in the next few days.

The visit to the hospital wasn't great. I was told as soon as I sat down that my amh result (3.84) was very low which was to be expected at my age and my only option was IVF. So next stop is to book the appointment at the clinic and hopefully they can help me.

Hi Russkipsy,

Artichoke tea? Where do you get that from? I hadn't heard of the SPEM plan before you mentioned it but seems a good way of making sure you dtd enough times to achieve a higher chance of hitting the jackpot. I'll give it a go.

I have to admit I'm going slightly crackers here. After getting brown discharge a few weeks ago and waiting for the inevitable AF, it still hasn't come. It CD 42 now. I've just taken a pregnancy test and got a BFN. I took clomid this cycle so all I can think of is it has messed my cycle up. Whatever the reason, I want my period back. Luckily I'm seeing my consultant tomorrow so I can discuss my lack of period and also what I should do next whether it's to keep on trying to conceive naturally or start IVF if my period ever comes back that is.

Happy holidays!

I hope everyone else is doing fine.

Hi Joey,
Haven't tried the stout but drinking an artichoke tea! Quite expensive but very nice taste 😉😉
Away on holiday with DH and today is CD12 and DTD is in full swing.
I'm following SPEM plan this cycle. Have you read about it? Fingers and toes are crossed for me 😉
How are you getting on?

Thanks Russkispy for the list. I'll give it a go and see what happens. Have you tried the stout yet?

I'm glad Loueeza that everything is still going well with you.

Hi Jessie! I'm fine, thank you! Trying my hardest to actually enjoy this rather than constantly looking for something to be wrong (managing well at times and not so well at others... lol!)

My symptoms keep coming and going, which can be a bit unnerving (did you get that??). I threw up for hours on Tuesday night, then I've been feeling pretty much fine since then.

At about 7.5 weeks now. The time is going SO slowly!!!

How are you????? :-)

How is everyone else? :-)

since I've haven't conceived this month, my acupuncturist is still concentrating on my points for OV and preparing me for my next fertile window. She sent me a list of foods to incorporate into my already balanced diet, and so she suggested these:

Nourishing Yin
GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Barley
Spelt
Alfalfa Sprouts
Artichoke
Asparagus
Kelp
Bean Sprout
Potato
Seaweed
String Bean
Sweet Potato
Tomato
Spinach
Pea
Water chestnut
Yam
Apple
Apricot
Avocado
Banana
Lemon/Lime
Mango
Blue Berry
Billberry
Strawberry
Pear
Persimmon
Pineapple
Pomegranate
Watermelon
Beans
Aduki Black bean
Kidney bean
Lima bean
Mung bean
Soybean (black)
Tofu
Pine kernel
Sesame (black)
Sesame (white)
Walnut
Fish
Crab
Coconut milk
Pork
Rabbit

Nourishing Blood:
GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Rest, particularly in afternoon
Avoid fatty, sweet or salty foods
Diet rich in fresh vegetables, green leafy Vegetables, grains, beans, meats and seafood
Use red meats and seafood especially with the shell
More pungent foods
Less sour, sweet and bitter foods
Barley
Corn
Oats
Rice
Sweet Rice
Wheat Bran
Alfalfa Sprouts
Artichoke
Beetroot
Dandelion Leaf
Kelp
Kale
Leafy greens
Spinach
Watercress
Apricot
Avocado
Date
Fig
Grape
Longan Berry
Mulberry
Aduki Bean
Black Bean
Kidney Bean
Squid
Octopus / Squid
Oyster
Mussel
Beef
Liver
Pork
Egg
Nettle
Molasses
Soya milk
Stout

Hi Joey
She emailed me a 12 pager of foods categories. At the moment she told me to eat from 2 categories : Nourishing Yin and Warming Blood. Are there any ways I could send you the whole lot? Is there a way of sending this to your email? Or some other sort of privacy? If not, I'll cut and paste it into here tomrrow morning

Hi Russkipsy, I have also had brown spotting this week and so am now waiting for the inevitable af. At least I know it's coming so when it finally arrives I won't be so disappointed. If it's okay with you, are there foods that your acupuncturist suggested that you could share?
Good luck with your next cycle as you never know what might happen. I'm spending Monday with my best friend, who's also 40, and her two month old twins. Fingers crossed.