Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

Beautiful! Those gorgeous cheeks!!!
Congratulations and all the best for the future
(Looking forward to joining your gang soon....nearly 33 weeks pregnant!! )

He's so beautiful Jessie. You both must be exhilarated and exhausted. I can't believe it's come round this quickly. I always found this thread and your attitude so refreshing though I'm (still) ttc #2. I really hope the good news continues for everyone else in the same boat.

Wishing you every happiness as a family of three.

Hi ladies, haven't been here for a while as it wasn't anything worth reporting.
Cycle #4 - Another BFN. Keep seeing my acupuncturist twice a month. She recommended to add Aspirin 75mg to my never ending collection of vitamins/pills list.

So, today is CD10 and of cycle #5. Still sticking to SMEP plan and started using Conceive Plus lubricant.

And thinking of plan B, C and so on.

I'm thinking for next cycle to go for IUI. I'll already made preparations for it. And if this cycle doesn't work then I'll be flying home to get it done. It's in Riga. The actual insemination is only €285! My DH's sperm is already in their freezer. I'll probably need a couple of examinations prior to the actual procedure. But the whole lot won't cost more than €500-600!
And if I'd go for London clinic, I was told it would be around £1500-2000! Insane! Even with the flights it would cost much less to get it done there! Plus they know me there and I could see my dad and brother.

So, we'll see what this cycle brings.

Hello Nybliss and welcome to the thread. What a lovely first post from you. I know what you mean about being shy about posting but I find this a really supportive and safe place to be able to share some of the darker sides of ttc and keep on a positive track.

I don't know anything about IVF I'm afraid so can't be much help but am sure someone who does will be along to post soon and will be able to give you lots of advice.

I'm 43.5 like you and I took lots of inspiration to hear from someone in a similar boat to me. Fingers crossed for you and for everyone.

Hi everyone,

I've been reading your posts and feeling inspired. It's really heartening to hear your stories of success and heartbreaking to read about your difficulties. Being a somewhat reluctant internet user in my personal life (trying to limit time at the computer), I hadn't appreciated what a powerful place it can be for support. And, though the internet is anonymous, I still tend to be shy about posting.... But here goes.

I'm 43.5 and have been trying to have my first child for the last 5 months with my partner who is about to turn 46. Hardly a long time, but we're also feeling the pressure of time. We don't have any identifiable fertility issues, except for my being old(er).

I've read the statistics for pregnancy at my age, but also know it only takes one egg. I wonder if anyone has any insight or advice they can offer regarding our situation:

We tried one cycle of IVF in May 2016: at start, 8 follicles; AMH 3.6; FSH 13.1
High stim dosages -- 225 iu Fostimon/ 225 iu Merional for 9 days; and Zomacton 4mg on alternate days
2 eggs collected, revised down to one that was excellent quality at day 2, but then it didn't develop, so nothing.

Our doctor said that I didn't respond as she would have hoped on the stims and that it might be better to try IUI with mild stimulation. Because we were going on holiday and couldn't try IUI immediately, we decided to try at-home insemination/natural conception and track my ovulation with ClearBlue Easy and the cheap LH surge strips. The stats on success for at-home insemination are about the same as IUI, and the whole process is almost stress-free :-) Two tries but so far nothing yet.

We're struggling to decide if it's worth 'experimenting' with IVF again, despite my not having responded very well. We're fortunate to have money we can use to try again, but don't know how to evaluate if it makes sense.

Have any of you seen big differences in your response to IVF from one cycle to the next? My doctor can't adjust the dosages higher because I was already at the max. Any success stories or thoughts on at-home insemination? Thoughts on IUI with mild stimulation?

We'd be really grateful for any stories or advice, as well as links to other threads.

My warmest wishes to all of you.

It's so exhausting wotsit. I'm lucky in that it seems quite easy for me to get pregnant, I just hope I can hold on to this one.
Everything crossed for you.

Congrats Helbelle, exciting times. Glad you're on the up Karry

BFN for me today. Very down about it. 43.5 and 16 months of trying now and nothing, not a sniff. Had HSG last month so was holding out. Exhausting isn't it. Planning next cycle and trying to stay positive and focused.

Thanks cityzen. It feels too good to be true again, but I'm staying positive and resting up. Fortunately it's school holidays so I have that luxury!
I hope everyone is well and fingers crossed for good news for you all.

Congratulations Helbelle - what lovely and exciting news. I hope that you are feeling well. I think it's only natural to be scared after your mmc but I hope that all goes well. Do keep us informed.

Karry I'm glad there are more good days than bad at the moment and I hope you have a relaxing month.

I had my first MMR jab on Friday which means I can't ttc for this month or next month if I get the booster. I've been ovulating this weekend so it's really hard knowing I can't do anything about it but that's just how it is.

I went for a scan which was OK. I had a retest of my fsh levels and they had gone down to 9.6 from 12.7 so that was OK. The nurse doing the scan wouldn't say what my amh results were so I suspect they are really low but I'll just have to wait until my next appointment I suppose to see.

Hope everyone is OK.

Thanks cityzen and helbelle75

Had a bit of a grumpy day today but overall more good days than bad. The rest of this month will be spent just taking it easy :)

Xx

It appears so cityzen! Have done several tests and they all say yes. Very excited and trying not to be scared after the mmc. I feel fine symptom wise, tired, a little queasy.
So sorry about your miscarriages karry. Good idea to have a regroup and try again when you feel ready. We've been trying again since our mmc but in all honesty should have waited. Now feels like the right time.

Helbelle - have you got a BFP? That is very exciting! Hope you are feeling well - let us know how you get on.

Joey - thanks for your advice about the fsh level. That's interesting. I am waiting to get my amh results so I'll see what they say. The nurse wasn't actually that bothered about the fsh (well she didn't seem to be) but just said I had to get it tested again but thinking about it she was quite insistent on the amh test. Sorry to hear you've been feeling down about everything. I hope your cycle gets back to normal soon. Do you know when your second cycle will be? Does it depend on your period coming? Sorry if that's a daft question.

I've got a scan tomorrow to check that my tubes and ovaries are OK. I had one when I was miscarrying and they said everything looked fine but I suppose this one will be particularly looking at my ovaries. Hope they tell me then and there if all is well or not.

Karry welcome to the thread. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. It's awful isn't it? I really hope you have time to grieve and then when you feel ready to ttc again you get your bfp.

Hello Karryk. Welcome to the site. We really are a friendly bunch.

I have to admit I've been a bit down lately about the whole ttc. The provera kicked in and I had a chemically induced period but as to when I get my next normal period and my cycle goes back to normal. Who knows?

Cityzen74 - what apple said about fsh levels are right. I had an fsh level of 4.2 but it's the amh result that's the important one. When I got my amh result, which was pretty low, I was told quite quickly that my only option was ivf and my second cycle would be with donor eggs. My fsh result completely forgotten.

Hello ladies :)

Hope you don't mind me joining in also. Thank you to russkispy for telling me about this thread

I turned 39 in June. We started Ttc in June '15. I had a chemical pregnancy in August and then fell pregnant in September only to have a mmc in November. We then took a break during which time I had some private tests done which threw up some immunological (killer cells, subclinical hypothyroidism) issues. We started Ttc again in April this year, fell pregnant in June but have sadly just miscarried again.

Now we're taking a bit of time to just regroup and focus on ourselves. Planning to try again in September if my cycle goes back to normal and take it from there.

Wishing everyone much luck and love on what's proving to be quite a bumpy journey! X

I was naughty this morning and a did a test. Just a strip test one, but it had a faint line on. Fingers crossed then e gets darker over the next couple of days and AF doesn't make an appearance.

It's for to chat on here as no one irl really gets it. AF is due on Saturday - or any time now as my cycle was shorter than usual last time. I have all kinds of strange pulling sensations and don't feel great at all, but don't know if my body's still sorting itself out after the mc.
Fingers crossed for everyone.

Thank you cityzen and apple for kind words and sorry you've been down too Helbell. Sorry I had such a moan, we're all in the same place after all but it was good to get it out.. Am day 6 of cycle now, so am gearing myself up to a tiring two weeks of dtd. Having very weird rumbles in my tubes already which is strange and I'm worrying it's connected to the HSG. Good luck everyone for the next few weeks and fingers crossed there's a bfp or two or ten - it's about time we had one.

Apple - thank you very much for your response. It's really useful and helpful to know that your consultant wasn't that bothered about your FSH being 12.5. I'm waiting for results of AMH so we'll see how that goes. I'm sorry to hear about your MMC. That must have been awful for you.

I like the idea of focussing on the process. I am waiting for AF this week (well obviously hoping she doesn't turn up but...) then have to have blood test on Thursday and the MMR jab. Then once AF arrives I have to arrange a scan to check everything ok with ovaries and tubes etc. Then once that has happened waiting for next appointment at hospital. Hopefully after that we can start.

"wotsits* - I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I do understand and sometimes it just feels as though I just want to give up when AF arrives yet again. This forum is really supportive and the other over 40s thread too.

Helbelle - glad you are feeling more positive and sorry about your loss as well. We are probably due our periods about the same time so fingers crossed they don't arrive! We have also been thinking about adoption. We get one try with IVF and if that doesn't work I think we will go down that road too.

Sending best wishes to everyone.

HI everyone, been having a bit of a 'down' time, feeling more positive today though.
I used opks this month for the first time. My period was shorter than usual last month, which is very unusual for me, I've always been 28 days, but I guess that's normal following the mmc. Anyway, it was a useful exercise, as they at least showed I was ovulating and we managed to dtd every other for 10 days around that time. So fingers crossed, just another few days to wait and see.
Same as you Apple, we've decided to set a deadline, but to start the adoption process rather than IVF. We've said December, and we're going to some information evenings over the next couple of months. I've always wanted to adopt, so this seems the next logical step for us.
Very best wishes to everyone xxx

I'm here. Joined this thread a few weeks ago, checking in again. Will keep my eye on it!

Wotsitsmaltesers - stay strong and do what you need to do to get through this, let yourself grieve if you need to. I really felt for you reading that post. Get as much support as you can. I only started using these forums recently but one thing that has really struck me is how amazing and supportive all the woman here are to each other. You are an amazing person and you will get through this. Thinking of you x.

Cityzen74 - only had my fsh measured once, about a year ago and it was 12.5. GP wasn't concerned, higher than it should be but it bounces around and you might have just gotten an off month (every so often I get really short duff cycles and it was measured on one of them). 12.5 is not terribly high. My amh has been measured twice in 3 years and was fine ('average for age') both times. Went for a consultation at private clinic and Consultant there was also not terribly bothered with FSH result either given that the amh was normal. I would definitely get your amh tested as well, they seem to put a lot more weight on that. Also, bear in mind its only important for IVF. Other thing I was told by same Consultant is that none of these tests are tests of natural fertility, the only test of that is your birth certificate! Blunt but true. Got all those tests done nearly a year ago and I've been pregnant in the interim (ended in mmc).....so still trying.

Helbelle75 - you are in a similar position to myself, my mmc was one month before you. I am finding ttc again quite stressful, mainly as I know I don't have years ahead of me to do this. Great bit of advice I read somewhere was to focus on the process as opposed to the end result and I'm finding that really helpful, so we've set a deadline before we start the IVF process. I feel as long as we are moving forward one way or the other we are progressing. I really don't want to do IVF but I'm too scared to leave it too long. How are you getting on? x

Just giving a nudge to see if anyone out there. Feeling very low today. Af has arrived. I knew it was a dud month as only dtd twice as partner hurt his back. Was really holding out as had an hsg just before. 16 months of trying and nothing ever. So exhausted and run down by it all. 43 and a half this month so feeling like it's game over. I know it can happen but the reality is just so so stark. Only 750 births to women aged 44 in a given year. 750, and god knows how many thousands and thousands are trying. Sorry I am so negative I need to find a way of letting go of the dream . The thought of more sex fills me with utter dread and now it's a four week, never mind two week to see what happens this cycle. God I never knew I could feel this sad and helpless.

Hello all. Welcome to Apple and Helbelle This is a very supportive thread.

For those who don't know me I am 41 and been ttc for nearly 2.5 years now.

Sorry for not posting for ages. I've had a bit of a rubbish few months. I got my bfp in May but sadly had a miscarriage at nearly 7 weeks. They thought it might have been a molar pregnancy as my hcg was 22,000 and they couldn't see anything on the internal scan except womb lining so I had to have surgical management of the miscarriage. It turned out not to be molar so we are ttc again and we have also been referred for IVF.

We had our first appointment this week and have discovered that when my GP said everything was fine with our tests that was not quite true. The nurse told me that my FSH level was quite high at 12.5. Does anyone else know what their level is? I have of course done what we should never do and Googled it with a lot of different results so I'm trying not to be too worried. She recommended that I get my AMH tested too. I had to pay for it but I decided it was worth it. Am not feeling optimistic but I know I should just wait and see.

Also I'm annoyed because my GP didn't tell me I don't have immunity to Rubella. I don't understand it because I have had Rubella itself when I was about 7 and also I remember getting the injection in my last year of primary school. But I'm mainly annoyed because you can't ttc for a month after having the MMR and I read I might have to have 2 injections so that's 2 months out. I had to wait to ttc again while waiting to find out if my pregnancy was molar or not so I could have had it done then if I'd have known. Grr.

Anyway, the nurse said I also had to have my fsh tested again as it sometimes fluctuates so I've made an appointment for my day 1-3 blood test and also she suggested they test my oestrogen levels which apparently they didn't do last time (I don't know why). They also didn't bother to send off the swabs and the urine test I gave them to test for chlamydia so I have to have that done again which I'm really annoyed about.

Sorry about the very long me me me post. I hope everyone else is well and I hope that we all get some good news soon.

Loueeza - how are you?

Annie - are you still around?

Hi, Russkipsy. I'm fine. The provera tablets kicked in yesterday and after 60 days without an AF, I finally have started. I've never been so happy to have a AF as we can now try again. I'll start the SMEP plan soon and in the meantime I've ordered Coq10 Ubiqinol as I've read lots of good things about it. Next month we have to start having blood tests in preparation for treatment at the end of September.
I'm sorry that your AF came and keep going with the SMEP plan. I'm sure your acupuncturist is right to be optimistic.

Hi Joey,
How are getting on?

For the ones who don't remember or know me.
I'm 40
DH 41
Cycle #3

And this cycle is another BFN. Sadly. After a few agonizing and frustrating days, the lady AF finally made her grande entre!
Which made it CD34 for me! The longest cycle to date! And I don't understand the reasons for it. I Ov'd on CD15, slight unusual as regularly it's a CD14. For the first time we followed the SMEP plan. In between we flew to Russia to visit my grandma, my DH has never been to Russia before.
And when we got back, the waiting game begun. I had sore boobs since CD7! And still have! Then I had some brown spotting on CD11. I tested on CD14, 15 and 16 and it was BFN. Went to see my acupuncturist on Tuesday and not sure what she did but got my brown discharge yesterday (first sign before AF) and sure of sure, AF landed on me lunch time. Amen!
I was so frustrated for the past few days as I just wanted to know one way or another. So what caused the delay. She made comments about change of scenery and flying. And funny enough in May i had a few flights and my cycle ended up 33days. Hmmm interesting.
Either way, disappointing but the show must go on.
My acupuncturist is still very optimistic about me conceiving within 3 months, she said that last month. Guess we will see that in the next 2 months as I'm out this cycle.
Will continue with the SMEP plan