Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

Good luck kwick. I do admire you. Was thinking of going the donor route at start of last year. Am still grappling with whether that would be the better option. Fingers crossed for you. Am going to start a few yoga poses of my own as getting worried my weight is causing problems. I'm not huge, about 12 and a half stone but all my friends who get pregnant do seem so much thinner.
Well done for positive purchasing annie a good decision.

Itworks what a lovely story! I would do the same if I had a magic potion source to hand, so to say...

What is the CoQ10 supposed to do?

I have taken it very easy today - watching old episodes of Death in Paradise on YouTube :) whilst keeping my feet warm and doing a yoga pose that is supposed to aid conception! I will do more visualisation/affirmations later on.

Back to work tomorrow :(

Thank you for sharing your inspirational story itworks - it really did work for you! And thank you too devora. Love these positive stories.

Just used an Amazon voucher u was given for Christmas to order some Pregnenolone, CoQ10 and pregnancare conception for an artificial boost to start the year!

That's an amazing story Itworks, thank you for sharing. I've had a dark night tonight trawling the web for positive stories and that has lifted my spirits no end.

Hello, wanted to cheer you all on. I gave birth to my first child at 42 and she was conceived using donor eggs in a clinic abroad. Utterly magical to find that she's really 'all mine' in every significant respect. I couldn't love her more.

This year, at the age of 44 - and with only one functioning fallopian tube, and using DIY artificial insemination due to a wrecked sexual confidence on DH's part - we found ourselves pregnant! I'm due in a few weeks.

Please don't give up. Just keep getting the sperm in any way you can and do consider coenzyme q10, zinc, selenium and a high protein diet. That's what worked for us after several years of ttc and resorting to IVF.

Hello ladies, just dropping in to wave and say good luck to you all. I have two dc, the first conceived when I was 40. All best wishes to you all

Thanks loueesa for taking time to respond. It's funny that you are experiencing "not bothered" feelings on IVF drugs. I was on a long protocol and went on Yasmin contraception for a while. It was wonderful emotionally. I hadn't felt so balanced and in control of my emotions for years. I was so rational and calm, I would definitely go on it again if it weren't for the fact it is a contraceptive!

Yes we have considered donor eggs and it's a joint decision that neither of us want to use donor eggs.

wotsit yes, you're right, all these churned up feelings are absolutely connected to the new year and feeling like you haven't achieved what you'd hoped. Still, it's good to have a fresh start and move on to new hope. I will take your advice and not think of it in terms of starting to live and make choices and plans again on the assumption that I'll not be pregnant.

As you said Kwick, it's not absolute. As long as we are not using contraception we are still ttc and there is still hope. I know that to really move on from the emotional pain we need to make that step to make it absolute but I'm just not ready quite yet.

jessie hope you are doing well, I do think catastrophic thinking has got the better of me lately. I used to be a very positive person and a real cheer leader and support to others on the Clomid, Old Birds and IVF threads but I have slowly lost hope and don't have the drive I once had to try new things. I will however get back on the vitamins and try aspirin this month as your BFP has given me a boost. I think I need a good talking to from your friend!

Welcome youdothat, you've found the right place for support and a unique viewpoint of those is us who are in the position of ttc over 40 for a variety of reasons. Good luck with your clomid cycle I hope it works for you. It worked for me on 2nd cycle (sadly mc'd). Sounds like you are being well looked after by Health professionals in terms of lining you up with treatment.

So sorry for all my typos - autocorrect on my phone come up with weird stuff. Enjoy being a wife not enjoy being a wide!

Hello to everyone else! Xx

Hi Youdothatvoodoo ... welcome (and love your quirky name!)

So glad you decided to join us. You are so right when you say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I certainly regret certain things, but there is no trial run at life. Sometimes time just runs away from us and we don't always make the 'right' decisions. It's really great that you feel like things are moving for you now.

I too decided to do IVF (this month ... eek!) because of time. I would have loved to give it longer trying naturally, but as I'm getting funding from NHS I have to go for it now before I get even older and not eligible any more.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing how you get on!

Good luck to Daisy and Quick. Daisy, I think you're being really brave. Fingers really crossed for you for this next time!

Hi, can I join your group?

I've been trying for a family since I was 33 & am now 39 (40 next month!). 6yrs of trying and was too scared to ask for help as I thought it was just something I was doing wrong (did all manner of stuff over the years - dieting, no booze, charting, relax, ov sticks, stressing alot etc - except get referred - argh!). Did have a lot of stuff happen in those 6 years like family deaths, signed off with stress & 2 operations so those things did pause attempts at times.

Finally asked my Dr for a referral & saw the fertility clinic last Oct (yay).
Wish with all my heart I'd gone years ago. Wish I'd found this forum years ago. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

OH is ok but I have ovulation problems. Was totally shocked. Hit the ground running since then. I had the lap & dye op just before Xmas and am now on 1st cycle of Clomid & hoping by some luck that it works by 10 Jan. But if it doesn't, before I have a chance to try a 2nd cycle the clinic have offered IVF because of funding ending next month as I'm 40. I have 1st planning meeting tomorrow. Excited. Scared.

I really appreciate you sharing your stories as it's helped me a lot. Thank you x

I am with wotsitsmaltesers - I do not think think this is about absolutes Annie... Just take care of yourself and focus on your plan.
Jessie I agree 100%... Women do get preggers past 40 - sometimes with a helping hand but sometimes without it too!
I had my 5th IUI earlier today.... So fingers crossed! The consultant told me to take 75mg of Aspirin daily which is new advice.

Glad you are doing well Jessie!
I understand your worries, it is hard to ignore the stats, although you are right, we can see and read tons of evidence that goes against what we are told.
You have done amazingly so far!
I am starting a healthy month, trying my best to have no alcohol. Injections start around the 24th!! 3 weeks, eek!!

I've just got back to HK, packing everything away. This includes finding space for all the meds for my next IVF cycle.
I know what you mean about Jan slump, i feel quite removed from the whole process at the moment, wonderingly a little why I am doing this. I think cos it failed last time I think of course it will never work. I guess this is normal to feel this way.
One of the ladies who was out in Cyprus when I was has had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. Heartbreaking.
Hopefully when jet lag has passed I'll feel more positive

Oh Annie sorry to hear you're feeling a bit sad and you too Loueeza. I think it's all part of the beginning of the new year. Was on an up during Christmas and New Year as mentally managed to get myself to switch off from it - a kind of 'put it all off until the new year' attitude. Have come down to earth today with a bit of a thud and feeling a bit down. Annie for what it's worth I don't think you should put yourself under the pressure of trying to decide to draw a line under it by taking contraception or getting your husband to have the snip. We need to prepare ourselves for it never happening and perhaps start living as if that's the reality, but to stop trying altogether means it really can't happen, and some people do get pregnant late in life. The average age of women in 1920 to have their last child was 42 - so that means there were a fair few over that age too - if it's the average. I am exhausted by it all though and feeling very sad. Loueeza I totally empathise with the feeling teary thing, seeing my friend who has just turned 43 six months pregnant with her first is haunting me - I'm of course happy with her but it's hit me hard. I also keep seeing pictures on Facebook of another friend, also just turned 43 with her new born baby. I just want to be able to live my life and not feel like I have to make decisions based on where I'll be when next ovulating.

Glad all is still going well Jessie! I'm all over the place at the moment (see my other thread). Too much thinking about the past and panicking about the future. I turn 40 this year so probably need to resign myself to never having children. My fertility results were okay but still feel that I will miss the boat. Crap.

Oh Annie ... I totally understand when you say 'acceptance is fickle'. Very strangely, I've been feeling almost not bothered about it all since I started on the IVF drugs. I don't know if it's a weird side effect of the drugs (!!) or whether it's because we're having an enforced break from ttc naturally. Then this afternoon I was having to hold back the tears in John Lewis because something DH said triggered all the emotions again.

A friend of mine said to me the other day (been ttc a few years) that she's finally started to make plans that aren't reliant on whether or not she does manage to conceive. I don't think it's an either/or, though. My two-penneth is that you should still continue to make your plans to go to South America etc. anyway, whatever you decide about ttc/adoption.

Sorry if I've asked you this before (maybe even more than once??) but what did you decide about IVF with donor eggs? At the moment I have that in my head as the last resort plan B (or C?) highly-likely-to-work option. Maybe I'm being a bit naive as I know it's expensive and not any total assurance, but still ... it helps me to know that option's there.

Jessie ... great to hear your updates. My sis had hardly any symptoms all the way through. She worried like crazy of course, but everything was fine. The midwife told her she was just lucky! I would feel the same as you, but of course there's still plenty of time for symptoms to kick in. I think I remember reading that they usually kick in about week 6 if they are going to ;-)

Ahh please don't go jessie! Definitely stick with us for a while we are all in it together supporting you though the next milestones.

Thanks wotsit for thinking I'm being brave.. I was feeling brave and really did feel positive about adoption and acceptance but I've learned that acceptance is fickle.

I've been a bit of an emotional wreck (again) over new year. Dh wants to draw a line under it so we can move on... But keep trying for a bit longer... Drawijng a line really means going on the pill or him getting the snip and neither of us are ready for that.

My friend just popped in with her baby and announced that our mutual colleague from work is pregnant. It was like a punch in the stomach. She was bouncing her baby on her knee which she said it. I couldn't hide my face I was so gutted and my voice began to break but I managed to keep it together. I am so delighted doe them both, they are younger than me, this is the way it should be. It just brings it right back into my face that I have failed. I'm not normal.

I'm in two minds about trying and it's driving me mad. One day I'm planning on my life as a professional woman, into art and making plans for a big South America trip and having a beautiful house and enjoying being a wide and a cool auntie... The next I'm considering buying drugs off the Internet as I'm so desperate to be a mum (I'm not going to). It all seems to be dependent on who the last person I spoke to was .. Which has always been a failing of mine. I cant make up my own mind. I wish I had access to an expert who could just tell me straight what to do.

I spoke to someone the other night about adoption and she said I really need to get a move on because we might get rejected because of our ages. (42 and 45) and that we need to prepare to be interrogated to within an inch of our lives. Then I heard a story about a friend of my brother who was rejected for fostering because of someone in one of their families - nothing to do with them and they are devastated.

I am so grateful for the good life I have and my health and I really need to spend 2016 on building up my self esteem and emotional strength again while making these decisions.

So I'm sticking around for a wee while longer too!!

Jessie not at all!! But don't worry I am sure it will come or perhaps you will be one of the lucky ones that gets no morning sickness.

I am having my 5th IUI tomorrow... Trying to not get too excited... The madness of the 2WW awaits! I am going all out this time - warm feet, pineapple, visualisation, laughter, milk, orgasms - anything I missed?

Happy New Year everyone!! 2016 will be our year!

Happy New Year all - hope it brings us what we all want so much. Am feeling nervous about the future but hopeful, not sure why as it does seem like the impossible dream as 43 looms ever closer at the start of next year.
Such amazing news for you Jessie, I wish you all the very very best and would love it if you stayed on this thread, it wouldn't be the same without you.
Loueeza I'm glad it's going better and you're settling into the drugs. Fingers firmly crossed for you. Anniehoo - a brave acceptance but exciting new life plan, I think it is a lovely idea. Daisy Kwick Remember and everyone else - lots of good wishes being sent your way. Come on 2016 - make it a good one.

Oh yes, Jessie, please don't disappear! Would love you to stay around and give us regular updates (if you'd like that).

I agree that you're now our lucky mascot, and anyway this board really wouldn't be the same without you ;-)

Hope everyone else is OK and staying cheery.

Strangely, I'm feeling absolutely fine on the down regging drugs. Think af has arrived today, right on time, so hopefully will be starting on the next drug next week.

Happy New Year to everyone! I wonder what this next year will bring? xx

Sounds great, Kwik!
And jessie, yes stay on....you are our lucky charm and it will be fab to know how you get on!

Jessie and Daisy thanks so much for all your advice.
Brothers can be twats can't they? I nearly killed mine over Christmas!
Jessie I reckon you should stay on this thread as long as you like - this is about you getting what you need :)
I had my day 7 scan after 2 menopur injections - I gave 3 follicles at 11mm, 9mm and 8mm which is good progress compared to previous cycles. I just injected again and have another scan on 31st.
I downloaded an app which has affirmations and hypnosis to help with fertility... I needed to do something!