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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Daisyboo1203 · 15/01/2016 00:01

I chose the clinic through research, I live in Hong Kong and it is illegal for me to get IVF here!!!
So I looked at Europe, Prague, Spain and cyprus came up as popular places. I heard from quite a few people who used the clinic I am using (team Miracle, Cyprus IVF centre with success.
Also they do tandem cycles, which mean you can still try with your own eggs.
I have got a BFP both times, but Hcg failed to rise....third time lucky?!?

Because I am doing tandem it is more than a usual cycle. I think a usual cycle is 3-4000, maybe less

Youdothatvoodoo · 14/01/2016 22:26

Hi Daisy, do you mind me asking how much IVF is overseas? How did you choose the clinic you are going to?

Not long now - best of luck there.

Youdothatvoodoo · 14/01/2016 22:21

Loueeza, good luck with your scan - hope all goes well. Glad you had a giggle!

I have a scan next weds so not much else to do until then except injections. Am becoming quite the dart thrower now, hehe.

Daisyboo1203 · 13/01/2016 06:20

IVF overseas is not so expensive as the UK.
I'm single and have managed to get the money together, I don't think I could've for the uk.

Rememberallball · 12/01/2016 21:58

Thanks Loueeza, I wish in a way that we could have IVF to look forward to but, short of a lottery win, it's a pipe dream for us and I'm too old for even 1 cycle on the NHS.

I'm really tempted just to step away and not temp or OPK and just let nature do her worst.

Loueeza · 12/01/2016 19:16

Hahaha, youdothat ... thanks for the giggle!

We're going to be doing our IVFs around the same time, then, as I'm doing the long cycle. I'm currently taking Buserelin and Gonal F too - going for my scan to see how things are developing later in the week.

On day 5 of the Gonal F today and can definitely feel some action happening ... aches and twinges galore. I was sort of expecting that though because I get that around ovulation time anyway. Hopefully it means that at least some decent follicles are developing!

Been really surprised actually by how good I've felt while doing the drugs (hahaha ... sounds dodgy saying it like that!)

Good luck to you too, Daisy.

Remember, believe me I know it's hard not to get despondent. We'll have been going for about that long too after this IVF is over. I'm not giving up yet, but I must admit the break from natural ttc has felt good.

Youdothatvoodoo · 12/01/2016 18:10

Hi there,

My cycle of Clomid didn't work (it was the 1st one so a long shot). So I'm on to my first IVF attempt. Started injecting Sunday (buserilin & gonal-f) & have a scan next weds to see how things are developing.

Feeling ok. Taking it easy. Haven't told work.

I have a horrible feeling things will be delayed & EC/ET will land on my b'day! Not quite what I'd pictured for my 40th, legs akimbo with strangers delving in my foof. Had hoped to go away for a couple of nights for it really. Maybe a spa weekend.

Any IVF tips?

Rememberallball · 12/01/2016 11:38

After 3-4 days of small amounts of spotting (totally out of pattern for me) af put in an appearance on Sunday evening so it's wait for her to bugger off then start trying again cycle 17 and beginning to get despondent about it working and wondering whether it's worth the heartache and stressing every month.

Daisyboo1203 · 12/01/2016 08:10

All quiet on here. How is everyone doing?
3 weeks til I fly to Cyprus!

AnnieHoo · 07/01/2016 22:12

Hang in there jessie.Today you are pregnant. Been thinking of you. X

loueesa glad to hear you're moving on to stimms and all is progressing as it should be.

Youdothatvoodoo · 07/01/2016 20:52

Hi all,

Jessie - I really feel for you. It's hard waiting to hear the news and not knowing. Wishing you all the best with getting through this part and hoping you can find some distractions. x

Loueeza - good luck with the new angle of injections. My meds arrived today (gulp) and I didn't realise I'd have 56 suppositories! (double gulp). I thought there was just one. Oh heck.

My af is due sometime from tomorrow to sun. It's the waiting game. Tried to take my mind off it with leftover Xmas choc.

Clara101 · 07/01/2016 19:10

Hang in there Jessie, we never know what the future holds but right now according to the best understanding you have you are pregnant. So all you can do is one day at a time and live in the moment xxx

Loueeza · 07/01/2016 18:09

Hi Jessie - happy to hear that all seems to be fine, but I can totally imagine how you must be feeling. I'd love to be able to give you some gem of advice to help you feel better, but I'm pretty sure nothing I could say would help. I know I'd feel exactly the same as you.

Unfortunately this whole ttc thing seems to be one big uncertain waiting game, at every stage.

Still, as you say, you've got further than you ever have, and that's a great reason for celebration. Hang on in there, honey.

As for me, I went for a scan today which showed that I'm ready to start taking the stimms drug. So I guess that's some good news. Or not bad news at least.

Realised that I'd been doing the first injections slightly wrong! I thought I'd figured out a less uncomfortable way of doing them by angling them at about 45 degrees. Apparently that was wrong as the drug might not get deep enough into your tissues. Oops. Still, seems no harm was done. Means that I've got to brave stabbing myself with the new lot at 90 degrees though. Ouch.

Hope everyone else is well. Good luck with all your respective treatments! :-)

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 07/01/2016 10:18

Hi all, really quick checking in, sorry I can't do individual replies as am at work and don't have much time.

All still OK in that I have no reason to think otherwise, but am still only 6 weeks and feels like the first scan is a lifetime away - it's 2 weeks but time is dragging so slowly. As I am taking progesterone I probably wouldn't bleed if there was a problem. I am not going near those CB digitals with weeks indicators.

I'm feeling pretty crushed by the uncertainty of it all. No symptoms, am not feeling sick or massively tired and boobs only a tiny bit sore. Just lying low and willing the time to pass and trying not to play out again and again the scene in my head where the sonographer finds nothing.

But I need to remember that this is so much further than I have ever got before.

(We're also in limbo on our house, completion delayed from 18 December to a date as yet not fixed....just want to get ON with life!)

Fingers crossed and lots of luck to you all.

OP posts:
Youdothatvoodoo · 06/01/2016 21:39

Hi all,

SparrowSG - yes, back to work with a bump for me too. I had to lose weight over Xmas to qualify for IVF so felt really mince pie deprived! Made up for it now though :)
Good luck with your consultation & glad you got your test results ok without paying again.

Daisyboo & Loueeza - good luck with your IVF cycles. Looks like we will be around the same time? My drugs are being delivered tomorrow & due to start them next week. No idea what to expect so I'm imagining I'm waiting to board a rollercoaster ride.

Kwick709 - good luck :) hope you are getting some nice distractions as well as work distractions in your 2ww.

Devora & Clara101 - thank you for the wishes

Jessie - great news :) hope everything is going well.

Itworks - thank you & congratulations

Was trying to message everyone but sorry if I missed anyone.

I am liking the positive stories too. I wish everyone here good luck and hope this sweet sixteen year gives us all joy.

Rememberallball · 06/01/2016 21:37

Work has been pretty normal for me over the festive period as I was only off for 4 days and have worked every day since last Tuesday - my next day off is a week tomorrow!!

Kwick709 · 06/01/2016 19:08

sparrow well done on hitting the ground running :)
Work has been complete hell, especially today where I was inly supposed to have 2 meetings which morphed into a non-stop from 13pm until pretty much now... Tomorrow is worse... Not even time for toilet break! Oh well at least it keeps ny mind off 2ww!

SparrowSG · 06/01/2016 09:45

Happy New Year to everyone, great to hear all the positive stories.

I am really hoping that this year will be full of good news from us all.

Booked flights to Athens yesterday for a consultation with a clinic at the end of this month to discuss IVF, thought I would hit the ground running in this New Year Smile.

Also managed to get the NHS clinic to agree to send me our results from tests we had last year so we don't have to pay to have them all done again. Initially when I emailed them they said they could not send to me directly (?!), but they would send on to whichever clinic we chose. After mailing them yesterday and asking them to send to Greece they have replied today saying they can't do that and will send to me.

Did anyone else return to work this week with a bit of a bump? It was a shock to the system for me on Monday after 10 days of relaxing and chocolate/mince pie eating!

Loueeza · 05/01/2016 21:44

Thank you so much, Clara101. That IS really encouraging. My favourite stories are ones from ladies who took a while to conceive but got there in the end. Makes me believe that's just to be expected for our age - which I can cope with!

:-)

Clara101 · 05/01/2016 20:08

Hello ladies, also coming to cheer you on. I had my first at 38 and second at 41. Jessie, so pleased for your news and hoping for more bfps in 2016 on this thread. I hope you feel better soon Anniehoo.. Ttc is tough there is no getting away from it esp when other people declare. All good wishes to you incl if you go for adoption.

Fwiw neither home pregnancy tests nor opks work for me due to a bladder condition. But I think this enforced zen ness has made ttc slightly less horrendous. So I'm for ditching the tests! Tho I am one of those mucus watchers (sorry tmi).

i feel for all as took a year plus to conceive dc2 and found that really hard tho I was already lucky enough to have one. Keep believing and keep trying ladies ;-)

Rememberallball · 05/01/2016 13:53

Thanks Daisy

Tmb41 · 05/01/2016 13:07

Hello all ,newbie here. Tolu is the name and am 44 ,anybody that age looking at doing an ivf soon need encouragements to put me thru after a failed cycle last year thanks all

Daisyboo1203 · 05/01/2016 12:15

I did/am doing a tandem cycle, so the price of this is more than a donor cycle. But I think a donor cycle can be around 4000 euros.
My tandem cycle without meds is 6000. This will be my last attempt with my eggs I reckon

Rememberallball · 05/01/2016 08:47

ItWorks, Can I ask what the cost is for an average cycle of donor IVF abroad? I know we probably can't afford to self fund in the UK and my consultant said donor was the best chance we'd have of conceiving.

wotsitsmaltesers · 04/01/2016 19:38

Oh and to top my day af came and partner away looking after nephew as his sister gone into labour today with her second. Great.