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Conception

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Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 21/01/2016 21:07

Oh and crispie you dark horse, a baby! Well I never! Huge congratulations.

OP posts:
Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 21/01/2016 21:04

Thanks everyone, I am really touched by how many of you have popped up to say congrats. Sorry to keep you up Daisy! Here's the picture. I have kind of forgotten which end was which to be honest. The little fluttering heart was beating about as fast as mine was.

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
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totalnamechanger · 21/01/2016 20:36

Hello! I've been keeping an eye on this fabulous thread (completely understand that ttc #1 at 40+ is different to #2 at 40+ which is my situation ).

I'm finally posting though to say I'm so happy your scan was as it should be Jessie. Strangely the day you got your positive for your chemical pregnancy I got a positive for a pregnancy that unfortunately didn't progress beyond 5 weeks though it took longer to confirm that same dpo too. But onwards and upwards I've been keeping an eye out for good news from you and always impressed by your resilience and humour.

There are some wonderful women on this thread -all the best to all of you.

Kwick709 · 21/01/2016 19:50

My dear Jessie not sure what happened but I completely missed your post. Congratulations!!!! I am soooooooooooooooo pleased for you Star

AnnieHoo · 21/01/2016 19:13

Jessie!!!!! SmileSmileSmile an actual baby!!!! An actual beating heart!!! Absolutely fantastic news!!! Wow! What a relief!! Amazing xxxx

Calyx72 · 21/01/2016 19:04

Yayyyyyy Jessie! Ahhhh this is very exciting and such a lift Smile Fantastic news!

SparrowSG · 21/01/2016 19:01

Fabulous news Jessie, many congratulations, so happy for you Smile Flowers Smile

Daisyboo1203 · 21/01/2016 18:57

Fantastic Jessie!!!! Such good news!!!!
Right, I can go back to sleep now Grin

Kwick709 · 21/01/2016 18:41

Oooooo daisy please tell more... Were they hard to self-inflict?

loueeza any news your end?

Loueeza · 21/01/2016 18:11

Amazing news, Jessie!!!

Really wanted to say yesterday that I thought things were looking good and you'd be OK, but held back for obvious reasons.

Congratulations - now you are officially the thread poster girl and you should celebrate with a big piece of Cake

Don't disappear - we'll miss you too much!

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 21/01/2016 18:05

It's an actual baby with a beating heart, measuring spot on for 8 weeks (19mm)! What a bloody relief.

Now discharged to NHS for normal ante natal care. Next stop 12 week scan, but nurse today was very positive and said risk of miscarriage very low now that heartbeat seen.

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AnnieHoo · 21/01/2016 10:44

Jumping on quickly for jessie to say I'm thinking of you today. It will be such a relief to see and know how things are progressing.

We are all hoping, praying and sending the best vibes - you have the strength of all of us behind you. Don't feel shy about holding the nurse's hand while its being done and squeezing it hard! xxxx

Daisyboo1203 · 21/01/2016 05:27

I had progesterone injections in the bum, and I did them myself.

Kwick709 · 21/01/2016 04:45

Such a lovely story crispie

Loueeza there are some injections which the nurse said hurt less if they go into bum and best to have someone do that.... I do not have anyone so may need to go to clinic for those. Did you have those? Sorry do not know name yet. So less than 36 hours until egg collection!! Do you know how many they are looking for?
My next step is the 3D scan.... Did you have one of those? Methinks it will be mighty uncomfortable.... I just hate speculums....

Will try and get back to sleep...

crispiecrunchie · 21/01/2016 02:16

I posted a few times in the last thread. Technically I shouldn't as was ttc number two. However as DD was a total surprise I hadn't actually ttc before!!

Just popping on to wish Jessie all the best for tomorrow. It is truly terrifying waiting for that first scan especially when you don't have many symptoms. I was in tears and could not believe I was actually seeing a baby as I'd played out worst case scenario in my head so many times!! I still check into this thread and hope everyone else gets a bfp soon.

I had DD at 40 and my son was born when I was nearly 43 in October this year. We are delighted. Exhausted but very happy!!

Loueeza · 20/01/2016 21:29

Of course I don't mind if you ask questions, Kwik! I know what you mean about it being daunting. I've found the whole process REALLY long. I expected it to whizz by.

The best advice I can give (bearing in mind I'm still in the thick of it) is to just take each stage as it comes, and not think ahead too much. So far I've really not found it too bad. Injecting myself took a bit of getting over, but now I don't think anything of it!

I've just given myself the trigger shot 36 hours before egg collection and I was SO nervous about it. I know I did it right, but I'm still sitting here trying to think how I might have done it wrong.

38% is really encouraging! :-)

Kwick709 · 20/01/2016 21:17

Loueeza I hope you dont mind if I ask you loads of IVF questions.... This feels so different to IUI... I thought that was intense and hard work but the protocol I have for the next two months is very very daunting.

I guess the 38% is from their latest stats - consultant said more as I do not have any known fertility issues and many of the people they treat with IVF have fertility issues.

Thanks wotsits .... I am not feeling brave, perhaps a bit crazy Confused

Loueeza · 20/01/2016 19:17

Hey Kwik, 38% is a really good chance. What is that based on? :-)

Jessie, my thoughts will definitely be with you tomorrow. I know the wait's been a bit torturous for you.

Chewygiraffe, really good to have you chime in here. It's really encouraging that you've been pregnant twice since age 43. Best wishes for your continued trying. I know it's hard to keep on hoping sometimes, but you just never know (isn't it funny how I find that so easy to say to others, and truly believe what I'm saying is true, but find it so much harder to believe it for myself!)

As for me, I'm in for EC on Friday - a bit later than expected. So far all seems to be going OK. I did seem to have a few more follicles today, and at the right size, so we'll see what happens on Friday.

I'm so tired already though. Been to the clinic every day this week plus last Friday. I wasn't supposed to go yesterday but didn't have enough Gonal F so had to go there to pick it up. Wouldn't mind but it's a 3-hour round trip if you factor in the time actually at the clinic. Busy week at work too, then to top it all off I've got a stinking cold! Thank goodness EC wasn't today as I originally thought it might be - my nose would've been dribbling everywhere!

Anyway, enough of the moaning. Apart from these minor inconveniences I'm feeling good. Just gearing myself up for the pregnyl trigger shot later tonight Confused

Calyx72 · 20/01/2016 19:13

Thanks remembrallball that's good to know about your friend :) :).

I hope everyone doesn't mind me not namechecking but I am reading everything and sending good vibes to all!

wotsitsmaltesers · 20/01/2016 19:04

Fingers crossed Jessie - Kwick my heart goes out to you. You are so brave doing it all alone. Don't give up, 41 is quite young in the 'overs' journey. My great grandma was 48 with her first!

KayNewJersey · 20/01/2016 18:47

Glad to see I am not the only one over 40 and TV with IVF!

Kwick709 · 20/01/2016 18:46

chewy welcome back! jessie I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

So I got a bfn and have af as we speak... I shelled out over 2.5k on drugs and am officially starting ivf... All very overwhelming but I am not ready to lose this dream just yet. Consultant reckons I have a higher than 38% chance.

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 20/01/2016 15:01

Yay for your friend Daisy. By the way everyone, my scan is not until 4pm tomorrow so don't worry if I don't post anything in the daytime.

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Daisyboo1203 · 20/01/2016 14:48

So I saw a friend tonight who is 44 and naturally 14 weeks pregnant!!! She met her husband about 5 years ago, no previous children.
One of the reasons I want to share this is cos she is a 'normal' British woman (remember I am in Hong Kong), she drinks and smoke a bit, not excessive, and of course not now!
I always feel guilty having a tipple or an unhealthy meal. I think it is so much more than that tho.
Jessie, I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow (and remember the time dofference!!) and hoping for fantastic news!!! Xxx

Rememberallball · 20/01/2016 14:35

Hi Calyx72, I'm 44 (b'day just before Christmas) and was told by fertility consultant that, as my AMH is very low (1.85), I'm likely to only conceive using donor IVF and, because of my age, I cannot have any treatment on the NHS., nor can we afford private treatment. As a result we are now trying/hoping/wishing that Mother Nature won't be too cruel to us and that I'll find myself pregnant before too long!!

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