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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Loueeza · 09/02/2016 21:16

Great news Daisy! I can see a dog's face in the second one ... hahahaha! (I zoomed right in and there it was)

Sparrow, thanks so much for the info. I imagined that it wouldn't be cheap. I think I'm going to wait and call the NHS back next month - I'm sure I'll get in eventually. If it takes TOO long though I might consider getting it done at the IVF clinic - £400 there for the HyCoSy (or something like that) which apparently is an alternative but serves the same purpose. :-)

SparrowSG · 09/02/2016 15:07

Oooh Monkey, that could be a lucky sign for Chinese New Year!

Daisyboo1203 · 09/02/2016 14:30

Can anyone else see the face of a dog or a monkey in the second one?! HahaGrin

Daisyboo1203 · 09/02/2016 14:29

Thanks, back at the hotel and after a short walk to the shops I'm resting in the hotel room. The intralipids made me feel quite dizzy and lightheaded so taking it easy.
I had 4 blastocysts today and 2 compacts (whatever that means). I opted to have 3 put back (Dr wanted 4, but I think that is too risky, also with 3 that leaves me with 3 to freeze)
I didn't respond well to the meds so I only had 1 to transfer of mine and 2 donor. This is why tandem is good, things aren't cancelled if things don't go to plan.
Here are the (non gender specific) fellas!
Smile

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
ChewyGiraffe · 09/02/2016 13:57

Daisy - fingers crossed for your 2ww! I thought your embryoscope images were amazing - really interesting. I'm dying to know what you decided to have transferred; mind if I ask how many and whether they were from your eggs or donor's? (Although I'm hoping not to disrupt your lying down resting if you reply!)

SparrowSG · 09/02/2016 11:46

Loueeza, sorry to hear that you were not successful this time, it is good that you are not feeling too down in the dumps about it.

My friend had her HSG done privately (as the NHS machine was broken), she had a referral from her doctor and had it done at a private hospital. It wasn't cheap though, she thinks (can't remember for sure), it was around £480.

Daisyboo1203 · 09/02/2016 10:27

And done! Now lying down thinking postive thoughts

Daisyboo1203 · 09/02/2016 08:54

Yes, I fly in Friday so have a few days to chill out and avoid the waiters who keep asking me to go out for drinks or to show me around town!! Wink

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 09/02/2016 08:27

Best of luck Daisy! Do you get some time to rest for a few days before you fly again?

OP posts:
Daisyboo1203 · 09/02/2016 07:08

Glad to hear you are thinking ahead, loueeza.and Jessie, good to hear you are doing fine!
I'm all nervous now as I get picked up for embryo transfer in 50 mins!!!! Shock

Loueeza · 09/02/2016 06:47

Thanks again everyone for being so NICE! Means a lot ...

Update on me - I'm actually fine. Was disappointed and teary at first of course, with a killer of an af to go with it, but on balance I've realised I actually don't feel too much worse than I do on a normal failed month!

DH is helping me to look at it positively, from the point of view of how much we learnt about ourselves along the process this time, and to look to the opportunities of the future. We're seeing this as just another step along the road, really.

Next stop is an HSG, although I tried to book in yesterday and they're full for this month. The thing that's actually bothering me the most right now is not being able to just get on and try naturally again for a while. DH is going to be away this month at the crucial time (and I mean at the crucial time - no chance to try at all). Then if we do the HSG next month that's another potential month lost as they only do the tests on certain days and it has to be between day 8 and 14 of cycle.

Has anyone else done that test? Did you do it privately? How much did it cost? Might consider private if it isn't too expensive, just to get it out the way and move on. Don't know where to go though!

We probably will try another IVF, but maybe in a few months. I know time's of the essence, but I'd like to try naturally as well. I'd still love that to be the way we eventually manage it. I'm just wary of bankrupting ourselves for a slim chance - although you, Jessie, are proof that it can work!

I know there's a lot going on on the thread at the moment, with different treatments etc., so good luck to everyone!! (sorry to not mention all by name - in a bit of a rush!)

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 09/02/2016 05:42

Loueeza so sorry to hear your news. I only saw just now as the thread had dropped off my active list and I thought nobody had updated. I have been thinking of you. It's shit, and I know you're not planning to jump right into private IVF, but I am proof that a failed cycle doesn't necessarily mean that IVF doesn't work. I hope your DH is coping OK too and good you have an action plan ready. Flowers to you both.

Annie I didn't get any side effects from the DHEA that I remember.

Nothing to report on my side, just a bit of insomnia. Our house purchase is also delayed due to a last minute Japanese bloody knotweed discovery at the property out vendors are buying so everything just in limbo for now.

OP posts:
AnnieHoo · 08/02/2016 22:50

Good luck with nasal spray kwick how long have you got to do it for?

AnnieHoo · 08/02/2016 22:48

Oh loueeza I'm sorry Thanks. It's so damn unfair. Hope you're ok.

daisy lovely to see the embryos from the embryoscope. They look so promising. Fingers crossed for you.

I'm on CD15, dtd every other day or more.feeling v bloated and uncomfortable and I think it's the DHEA. jessie did you get this? Or any of the others who have taken it?

I've been very constipated since I started taking itConfused.

Kwick709 · 08/02/2016 19:21

Spoke to nurse to confess opening nasal spray a week early and she said it was fine and not to worry....
Tomorrow I start sniffing!!!

cityzen best of luck for 2WW!

Cityzen74 · 08/02/2016 08:46

Loueeza am sorry that AF arrived for you this time. Am thinking of you. Flowers.

Good luck Daisy

I am officially in the 2WW now. We dtd a lot over the last few days but I know that we just have to be patient and am trying to feel optimistic.

Daisyboo1203 · 07/02/2016 19:48

Thanks. I will be returning home on the Friday, so have a few days to relax first

Kwick709 · 07/02/2016 19:39

Will keep my fingers crossed for you! Do you come back for 2WW?

Daisyboo1203 · 07/02/2016 19:27

It's exciting and scary. After 2 fails I find it hard to get excited, I guess it's a protective thing.
But it's a fresh cycle, no reason for it not to work. Clinic have added more things to deal with possible immune issue that prevents hcg from rising last time. So fingers crossed! Transfer on Tuesday

Kwick709 · 07/02/2016 19:14

Thank you Daisyboo am I wrong to be getting very excited for you?

Daisyboo1203 · 07/02/2016 19:10

Hi Kwick
As I have such a low AMH and follicle count, I opted for a tandem cycle. So my eggs and a donor eggs as back up,
As of yesterday I had 8 fertilised embryos altogether.
This is them though embryoscope on day 2. You
Can spot the ones that didn't fertilise.
Egg collection didn't make me bleed, just a bit crampy for a few hours

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here
Kwick709 · 07/02/2016 18:41

Loueeza great that you are bouncing back... Sounds like a chemical? What is an HSG.

When you say boo-boo is that my fanjo or boobage? My boobage bump is loads better although still erupting when squeezed Blush. My fanjo is fine now after hysteroscopy and I am sending it good vibes for egg growth Grin

Daisyboo please forgive my ignorance - so you and a donor had eggs collected? How many were got! Any update on magic potion and eggs meeting and greeting? Does egg collection make you bleed? Apologies for TMI questions but my cousin (who did IVF) cannot remember!

Daisyboo1203 · 07/02/2016 17:48

Sending you big hugs, loueeza. I have been there xxxx

Loueeza · 07/02/2016 17:25

Hi girls,

Thanks so much for the support!

I did hold onto a tiny bit of hope yesterday - as you say, it was just a bit of spotting at first and I hadn't (still haven't) reached my official test date.

However, I now have full-on af (a lot more painful than usual), and I'm 11 days past my 5-day transfer. I'm afraid that really is it for this time.

But ... it's OK.

I'm already looking forward to future possibilities. I'm going to call the NHS clinic tomorrow to get myself booked in for an HSG, and take things from there.

Daisy, hope you're well!

Kwik, I hope you got your boo-boo sorted out? Don't worry - my DH forgot to put some of my drugs in the fridge and we had to buy new ones. They weren't as expensive as I thouhght to replace - just one of those things. ;-)

ChewyGiraffe · 07/02/2016 07:49

Loueeza - I'm so sorry to read about your negative test, but like others have said, might it be different by your official test date (sorry I don't understand the dates in an IVF cycle)? I don't think the spotting necessarily means anything (I had a successful pregnancy with spotting/bleeding at various times from my missed period, right through the second tri - it nearly drove me insane). I was quite moved to read about the 'glimpse' of the future that your DH had. It seemed like he was onto something. But even if it turns out you were both right (i.e. you might have to wait a little longer) I'm sure you'll get there soon enough. Take care x

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